Flikken posted:

Like, it's a fired round, if it was close enough to not arm shouldn't it have killed him. Did he pick up a dud and shove it up his own rear end??

Hyperlynx posted:

I was wondering that too, and then reparsed "launched grenade" as "a grenade of the type fired out of a launcher, rather than a hand grenade" rather than "this particular grenade has been launched".

Cythereal posted:

Story.

Suntan Boy posted:

"chocolate mousse fired from a blunderbuss"

Suntan Boy posted:

Military ERs are always a special flavor of batshit, in a medical field rife with WTF stories.

My patient one night was brought in from the field by their medic, complaining of abdominal pain for 2 days, and unable to poo poo for 3. He looked ok, other than clearly being profoundly uncomfortable. The medic had tried a short regimen of stool softeners, to no avail, and their aid station had given him a bottle of magnesium citrate to chug, which just made it hurt more. Even when he was alone in the room with one of the staff, dude didn't let on that he knew exactly what the problem was, and it wasn't the steady diet of MREs and dehydration.

"Belly hurts, can't poo poo" isn't particularly unusual for Joe, but it does warrant an x-ray as a matter of course. Woke up the tech, who wheeled the patient off to do their thing. After they came back, the tech pulls us off to the side.

"He's got a dildo or something stuck up there, but it's weird; I can't see any batteries or plastic. Here, take a look."

Gathered around the computer, we start trying to figure out the object jammed in this man's rectum. Completely opaque, so probably metal or ceramic... north end has a blunt taper... measures about 40mm by 45mm...

"Oh gently caress," one of my newbie medics breathed. "That's a 203 round."

"Oh gently caress," the rest of the army folks in the room agreed. "It's a launched grenade," I explained to to nonplussed doctor. After a moment's consideration, "Oh gently caress."

To his credit, the doctor did not stride back into that patient's room like his rear end in a top hat had just tried to vacuum up a chair cushion. He did scoot out of there with a quickness once he'd confirmed what it was, and that there was no way he'd be able to get it out right there. A flurry of phone calls followed: the doctor with the surgeon, the charge nurse with several levels of department and hospital leadership, and myself with EOD. Every conversation went pretty much the same: sleepy disbelief, laughter, "oh poo poo, I/we'll be right there". Fortunately, he was the only patient in the entire building, so evacuating everyone amounted to half a dozen disgruntled staff in the parking lot in the middle of the night.

After some uneventful waiting, the EOD and surgical teams arrived, wheeled dude to the operating room, and got to work. It was reportedly asses-to-elbows with both groups in there at the same time, but they got the round out mostly without incident. "Mostly", because dude's bowels had been corked for 3 days, and all those MREs suddenly had an exit route; the immediate aftermath was best described as "chocolate mousse fired from a blunderbuss". The round was whisked away by the EOD crew, and dude was quietly disappeared after a brief stint in the recovery ward. No idea what happened to either one of them, sadly.

NTC was a weird place.

Nice and hot piss posted:

Man I thought I had a semi interesting story about finding a bunch of 5.56 in a psych dudes socks but that takes the cake.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

This seems like a perfect subplot of the pilot of a reboot of M*A*S*H.

Also I have cross-posted this to the appropriate threads in other subforums. The world must know.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Suntan Boy posted:

M*A*S*H with the cast and writers of Scrubs would be amazing, and amazingly accurate.

Lead out in cuffs posted:

Do they not provide sex ed as part of basic? 'cause they really should...

brains posted:

clearly it's not being provided as part of 203 training, either

James Woods posted:

40x45mm? So just the explosive projectile and not the 203 shell casing. So I guess he was going to town on himself with a live round and holding it by the rim of the casing, clenched up when he came and pulled back a spent shell. Even if he'd succeeded in shiting it out he'd have been leaving unexploded ordnance in the latrine. I'd love to see the officer's incident report on this.

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I feel this belongs here

Defenestrategy posted:

Alright, I'll bite.

1) Why is the hot dog going on a piece of white bread instead of hot dog bun?

2) Why are the onions rings and not diced as is customary for onions on hot dogs?

3) What specifically warranted such a specific poster about such a weirdly specfic sandwich?


I will say, I think I'll start putting onions on the bottom of the hot dog bun, as onion loss is a problem when having onions on hotdogs.

bulletsponge13 posted:

You guys are over thinking this butt grenade. Dude found or fired a 203 ogive. Decided to use it as a butt plug. Soldiers are dumb, and danger is a thrill.

Midjack posted:

Possibly an inert training round.

Sacrist65 posted:

Im like 70% sure this is Texas A&M ROTC.

These people will be leading troops in less than 3 years.

Wild T posted:

Guy one took a 5.56 to the leg where it shattered his femur, turned 90 degrees, took off one of his testicles and most of his dick before lodging in his other thigh, breaking that femur.

MA-Horus posted:

to hell with jfk, this is the true magic bullet.

Wild T posted:

Back, and through the left nut