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Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011

Gun Jam posted:

A bit late, but:

...When (appropriate)? Didn't the only time-traveling adventure so far war in 11, and only Jake remembered it? Did I forgot something, or he's not limiting himself to refer to things that already happen relative to this book?

When they meet the Ellimist for the second time they go to a future earth where the yeerks have won. In the future, they see the Pool and so figure out where the Kandrona is stored, so when they return to the present, they're able to find and destroy it.

I can't remember which book that is, but I'm 99% sure Tobias was there.

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disaster pastor
May 1, 2007


Epicurius posted:

quote:

When the smoke cleared, I was face-to-face with a Taxxon. <You’re lucky I’m in a hurry, or you’d be worm hash,> I said, and brushed past the huge centipede.

As a kid, things like this would happen and I would occasionally wonder, "hey, did they say that to themselves? Or did this Taxxon just hear a Hork-Bajir use thought-speak?"

Epicurius
Apr 10, 2010
College Slice

disaster pastor posted:

As a kid, things like this would happen and I would occasionally wonder, "hey, did they say that to themselves? Or did this Taxxon just hear a Hork-Bajir use thought-speak?"

Hork-Bajir Tobias: <You’re lucky I’m in a hurry, or you’d be worm hash,>
Taxxon, to himself: "Did he just use thought speak? Is this an Andalite? I have to tell Visser Three! This will change everything!"
[Taxxon starts to go to Visser Three, scratches self on a branch, smells his own blood and eats himself]

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

Epicurius posted:

"Did he just use thought speak? Is this an Andalite? I have to tell Visser Three!

A prudent Yeerk would probably just keep it to himself

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





freebooter posted:

A prudent Yeerk would probably just keep it to himself

<You knew this and did nothing? Then you will feed your brothers.>

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

freebooter posted:

A prudent Yeerk would probably just keep it to himself

Knowing Visser 3, the best case scenario would be their claim getting dismissed out of hand, with the worst (And most likely) case being a swift execution for letting them get away.

Epicurius
Apr 10, 2010
College Slice
Animorphs Book 13: The Change-Chapter 25

quote:

We waited till Visser Three and the rest of the Yeerks - human, Hork-Bajir, and Taxxons - left.

Then we crawled back up onto the lip of the ravine. We morphed back, and once we were all together again, we headed off across the land the Yeerks had burned. We knew we had to be quick.

The Forest Service firefighters would be showing up soon. Even though the fire had mostly just burned itself out.

We found the valley. The lovely little valley the Ellimist had shown me. I knew what to look for.

Otherwise I’d never have noticed it.

I was a good puppet for the Ellimist. I had done my job well. Not that I regretted that part of it. I could never be sorry for helping anyone escape Yeerk slavery.

But I was once more a red-tailed hawk. And so I would remain.

The entrance to the valley was so narrow the Hork-Bajir could barely fit between the rock walls. It was like some amazing bandit hideout from an old Western movie.

Jake said, “You know, I wonder if this valley even existed before.”

<You think maybe the Ellimist created it?> I asked.

Jake shrugged. “Could be. It’s awfully convenient.”

I let it drop. I didn’t really want to discuss the Ellimist. He’d lied to me. He hadn’t given me back my humanity. This was a good moment for the Hork-Bajir. I wasn’t going to spoil it by beingselfish. While the others squeezed through the narrow gap in the rocks, I caught a beautiful warm updraft
and went up and over. Even from the air you might not notice the valley unless you were really looking for it. From high up it just looks like a particularly dense ribbon of trees. Not until I dropped down through the branches did I see the shallow lake surrounded by sandy shores. Trees of every type
and description were there. Berry bushes ringed a small, sunny meadow. The meadow I’d seen in my mind.

To tell you the truth, that little meadow would have been heaven for a red-tailed hawk. A sweet territory for a bird of prey.

I flew back to meet the others as they came into the valley. They were all standing around gaping.

“It’s beautiful,” Cassie breathed.

“Are we there?” Jara Hamee asked me.

<Yes. This is the place.>

“Good place,” Ket Halpak said. “Good place for kawatnoj.”

“What?” Jake asked, puzzled.

<I heard them use that word before. Jara Hamee, what does kawatnoj mean?>

Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak laughed their strange Hork-Bajir laugh.

“Kawatnoj small Hork-Bajir. Small Jara Hamee, small Ket Halpak.”

“Children,” Rachel translated. “They’re going to have little baby Hork-Bajir.”

<They will be the first Hork-Bajir born into freedom in a very long time,> Ax said. <The Ellimist did not lie. The valley exists.>

<No. He didn’t lie,> I said. <Not about this, anyway.>

“Well. Let’s just take our clothes off,” Marco said briskly. “You know the rules - in the Garden of Eden you don’t wear clothes. Rachel, you can start.”

“Garden of Eden?” Jara Hamee echoed. “That is this place?”

“Not unless you want to change your name to Adam,” Marco said. “I was just joking, big guy.

But look, I have to know. How do you tell a male Hork-Bajir from a female?”

Jara Hamee looked puzzled. “Male? Female? What meaning?”

“Go ahead, Marco, explain,” Cassie teased.

But Ket Halpak understood. “Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak different. Jara Hamee have three here.” She pointed at her horn blades. “Ket have two.”
“That’s the only difference?” Marco asked.

“Other difference, too,” Ket Halpak said primly. “But only for Hork-Bajir to know.”

That got a laugh, even from Ax, which just puzzled the Hork-Bajir even more.

Everyone stayed for a little while, then they all left. All but the two Hork-Bajir and me. I stayed to help the Hork-Bajir survey their new home. I found caves where they could spend cold nights, and explained to them that they could never leave the valley. Not until Earth was rid of the Yeerks.

Then I flew home. Home to my own meadow. My own territory.

The Hork-Bajir had their Eden. The others all had their homes. I had my meadow.

Poor Tobias. But he's got his meadow.

Chapter 26

quote:

The next day was Sunday. Not that it mattered to me.

Rachel came to my meadow to see me. But I avoided her. I flew away and left her yelling,

“Tobias! Tobias, where are you?” into the woods.

I’m sorry, but I knew why she was there. She’d come to tell me it would all be okay. She’d come to make sure I didn’t feel too bad. And knowing Rachel, she’d help me curse and blame the Ellimist.

But I didn’t want pity. Not even Rachel’s pity. I was dealing with things. But I was barely dealing. And I felt like if someone was nice to me I’d totally fall apart.

I’m a predator. A raptor. A hawk. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me.

Throughout the day I went about my routine. I went back to mapping out the entrances to the Yeerk pool. I watched the known Controllers come and go.

And I was fine. Until the sun set and night fell. I went to my favorite perch in the old oak tree.

And I watched the foxes and raccoons and owls and other night creatures do their work.

Ax came by looking for me. I didn’t want to talk to him, either, but he knew I was there.

<Hey, Ax-man,> I said.

<Hello, Tobias. How are you?>

<Same as ever. And I really don’t want to talk about it,> I said bluntly. I guess Ax took the hint.

He stayed for just a few more seconds, then made an excuse to take off.

I knew I was just feeling sorry for myself. But too bad. I had reason to feel sorry for myself.

So this is gonna be it, I told myself bitterly. This is your life. No home. No bed. No school. Nothing human.

I formed a picture in my mind of human life. I saw warm golden light and a TV and couches and beds and tables. Food that came in boxes and cans. Books and magazines. Games. Stuff.

And I saw my parents. At least, the way I remembered my parents - from photographs. I’d been too young when they’d left to really be able to remember them. But I used to have pictures of them.

That was the life I would never have again. Human life.

But you know, even as I was wallowing in self-pity, I knew I was being dishonest. Maybe that warm, fuzzy, golden life was how some people lived. But it wasn’t how I had lived. Not really.

Okay, I thought. Okay, so maybe my life as a human sucked, too. That doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life as a bird.

And yet I had another memory, more recent. I saw myself the way I had appeared when the Ellimist had taken me into the turquoise mist. I saw myself half-bird, half-human.

No! I said to myself. I shook off the image. Just an Ellimist trick.

I tried to stop thinking. I needed sleep. That’s all. I just needed a good night’s sleep. I’d be fine in the morning.
I closed my eyes and tried to turn off the busy human mind that lived alongside the hawk’s simpler intelligence.

I closed my eyes … and when I opened them again, I was not in my tree.

I was in a room. In a house.

It was night, but I could see blue numbers glowing from an alarm clock. And I could see someone lying in a narrow, disheveled bed. There was a sleeping, tousled dirty-blond head lying on the pillow.

A cold chill swept through me. I knew this room. This bed. I knew the person lying there, tossing and turning with sad dreams.

I fluttered to the nightstand. The noise of my wings woke the sleeper.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and stared at me. “A bird?” he said.

<It’s just a dream,> I told him. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode. But at the same time I felt a weird calm. Like I knew what was going to happen. Like it had all happened already.

Then I saw the calendar. It was a Star Trek calendar. I guess that’s funny. The date was the day before I had walked through the construction site with Jake and Marco and Cassie and Rachel.

“A dream?” The sleeper sat up in his bed. He peered at me and I saw a troubled expression in his eyes. “I know you, don’t I?”

<Kind of,> I said. <And I know you … Tobias.>

“How do you know my name?”

<I can’t tell you that. But listen, Tobias, I …> What could I say? What could I possibly say to my old self? I couldn’t tell him everything would be all right. I didn’t know that. I couldn’t tell him what was about to happen to him. No sane person would believe it.

Besides, I had forgotten this dream. Hadn’t I?

<Tobias,> I said. <Walk home with Jake. Walk through the construction site.>

“What?”

I just laughed a little sadly. Why had I told him to do that? Why had I sent him to the construction site? It was there that everything had begun. It was there that I had started down the path that led to my being trapped as a hawk.

I knew the truth now. I could see it clearly. I was looking at myself. Back when I was human.

And looking at myself, I couldn’t escape the truth - that wasn’t me anymore.

I wasn’t Tobias the human. I had become something else. Something new. What had the Ellimist said? ” … you are a beginning. You are a point on which an entire time line may turn.”

<Tobias?> I said to the human. <You should go back to sleep.>

“I am asleep, aren’t I? This has to be a dream. And if it isn’t a dream, I’ll never get back to sleep!”

<I can help you sleep,> I said. <Hold out your arm. Don’t be afraid.>

The human Tobias held out his arm. I flapped my wings and landed on him. I was as gentle as I could be with my talons. I didn’t need to dig them in. Simple contact was enough.

Tobias’s eyes began to flutter. He became dazed and passive. The way all animals do when they are acquired.

I closed my eyes and focused on him. On the human DNA that was being absorbed into my hawk’s body.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back in my tree.

Had it been real? Or was it all just some silly dream?

DON’T FORGET, a huge voice said. TWO HOURS, TOBIAS.

I didn’t ask what the Ellimist meant. I knew. I had acquired my own human DNA. But it was just a morph. If I stayed in my old human body I would be trapped there forever. Never again to morph. Never again to be a hawk. Never again to fly.

HAVE I KEPT MY PROMISE?

<Yes,> I said.

AND ARE YOU HAPPY, TOBIAS?

Ellimists, man. What you going to do?

Chapter 27

quote:

The next day was Monday. The day when Rachel was to receive the Packard Foundation Outstanding Student award.

There were four other kids being honored, too. They held the presentation in the school gym.

Parents were there, all proud of their sons and daughters. Kids were there, having a good time, basically because the assembly got them out of last period.

I missed the early part of the ceremony. I had to be careful, you see. I had to time everything just right. There is a two-hour limit, as I know better than anyone. In that time I had to walk from the edge of the woods to the school and leave plenty of time to get back.

I was scared and nervous, sneaking into the back of the auditorium. A teacher frowned at me, like she knew me from somewhere but couldn’t quite recall where.

I hung back in the shadows. The ceiling bothered me. I don’t like being where I can’t see the sky.

But I stood there as patiently as I could, watching the ceremony through dim human eyes, and listening to the blah, blah, blah through weak human ears.

And only at the end, as the recipients filed out, did I step from the shadows.

Rachel was last in line. She was beautiful, as always. And she had the usual Rachel swagger.

I saw Cassie give her a wink as she walked by. Rachel rolled her eyes, self-mocking, and Cassie laughed.

When she passed by where Marco was sitting, Marco made a phony bow. You know, like he was bowing before some idol. Rachel laughed and shook her head.

And then she was right there in front of me. I saw her eyes sweep over me, indifferent, and then look past me toward the door.

She stopped walking.

She turned to me. Her eyes were wide.

“Hi, Rachel,” I said with a human voice.

So, it's raining right now, a very localized rainstorm, right over my face, which is why my face is so wet. It's not that I'm crying or anything.

I mean, I liked this book, but that ending just nailed it, I think. Like, if I've relatively quiet recently in my comments, it's because I really don't know what to say. This entire book just holds together really solidly, and it's got Tobias's internal conflict, because Tobias is just....I mean, reading these books as an adult, you just want to hug these kids and tell them it'll be ok. And that's the difference between reading it when you're like 11 vs when you're in your 30s or 40s. When you're 11, 13 year olds are these cool older kids, and you're reading it and they're going on adventures and kicking Yeerk butt and it's all very exciting and sometimes you're worried about them, but they're tough and old and will pull it out at the end. I'm reading this at 45, and all I can think of is, my God, these are all babies who are trying so hard to be grown up and they've got to deal with an alien invasion on top of it all. And really, there's that hint of tragedy there that never goes away, and of course, Applegate and Grant wrote it like that on purpose, because they were in their 40s at the time when they wrote them.

Man, these books.

So the next book is Book 14, the Unknown. It's a Cassie book, and it's....an unconventional one, just like Cassie.

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer


Young Orc

Epicurius posted:

So the next book is Book 14, the Unknown. It's a Cassie book, and it's....an unconventional one, just like Cassie.

Oh man I didn't realize my overall favorite book in the series and my favorite dumb book in the series came back to back.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





I quite genuinely can't remember what the plot of the next book is, but since it's Cassie, I'm going to assume that she has a nervous breakdown and suffers extreme PTSD after killing a jellyfish

Shwoo
Jul 21, 2011

Ah, the Area 51 book. Cassie gets some weird filler books.

I wonder if Tobias's human morph ages, or if he's thirteen forever. I don't think the books ever address it, but he must look pretty young next to the other Animorphs by the end of the series when he's in human morph. Ax, too.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp
The Elmist is one real motherfucker. Gives Tobias what he wants (The ability to fight alongside his friends and become human), but in a way that ensures he'll never actually become human or stop fighting.

Terror Sweat
Mar 15, 2009

That's the plot to at least 80 different fantastic four storylines for The Thing

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Shwoo posted:

Ah, the Area 51 book. Cassie gets some weird filler books.

I wonder if Tobias's human morph ages, or if he's thirteen forever. I don't think the books ever address it, but he must look pretty young next to the other Animorphs by the end of the series when he's in human morph. Ax, too.

If morphing heals their injuries, it must de-age them equally too :colbert:

ANOTHER SCORCHER
Aug 12, 2018
That was really great, definitely one of my favorites.

I remember the plot of 14 being really dumb, so hopefully we get some good Cassie ruminating and philosophizing to make up for it.

disaster pastor
May 1, 2007


Epicurius posted:

quote:

HAVE I KEPT MY PROMISE?

<Yes,> I said.

AND ARE YOU HAPPY, TOBIAS?

I don't have much to say that you didn't say already (like everyone else, it's also one of my favorite books in the series), but this little bit is perfect. One particular characteristic of Tobias's narration is how freely he admits to feeling useless, unwanted, cowardly, all sorts of things people (especially kids) try to hide from themselves. But even so, even in his own thoughts, even after admitting that the Ellimist kept his promise, here Tobias can't admit that what he got was, in his heart, what he wanted.

Synesthesian Fetish
Apr 29, 2008

Ya know, I useta be President... I'll let you kids punch me anywhere but the face for a dollar.
Ok so I've been waiting to discuss this since I found this thread and have been waiting to post this until we finished this book.

I remember going onto Animorph's fan sites are online in '97 and '98 to discuss this (Book 13 came out in Nov 1997). I think I stopped reading the books around #30 so maybe it already been answered.

Do the morphs one acquires age? 10 years from now will Tobias still look like a middle schooler when be morphs into his human self? Can you make your morphs age? Can you make them de-age? If you're a twin, can you acquire the DNA of your twin? Will that morph stay stuck at that age? Could you see what you would look like as an adult?

If Cassie can change her hair length when morphing, what else can change? I had braces on when reading these books. What would happen to braces? Could you morph to have perfect teeth. What are the chances of 5 middle schoolers not having braces?

What about piercings? Did Cassie and Rachel's ear piercings go away the first time they morphed? Could they morph to include pierced ears? If you can change you hair length, can you change the size and length of other body parts as well?

I don't think Applegate ever wanted to take the discussion or thought this far, but I can tell you that there were a lot of people who has these questions 20+ years ago...

Synesthesian Fetish
Apr 29, 2008

Ya know, I useta be President... I'll let you kids punch me anywhere but the face for a dollar.

Shwoo posted:

Ah, the Area 51 book. Cassie gets some weird filler books.

I wonder if Tobias's human morph ages, or if he's thirteen forever. I don't think the books ever address it, but he must look pretty young next to the other Animorphs by the end of the series when he's in human morph. Ax, too.

Sorry that my post overrode yours but these are the same questions I've had for 20 years

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

disaster pastor posted:

I don't have much to say that you didn't say already (like everyone else, it's also one of my favorite books in the series), but this little bit is perfect. One particular characteristic of Tobias's narration is how freely he admits to feeling useless, unwanted, cowardly, all sorts of things people (especially kids) try to hide from themselves. But even so, even in his own thoughts, even after admitting that the Ellimist kept his promise, here Tobias can't admit that what he got was, in his heart, what he wanted.

I think this is true (which is why he never mentions this to the others) though on the other hand I also think it's fair to say he just still doesn't know the answer to the question. He'll never know.

I also admire this subtle bit:

quote:

But I didn’t want pity. Not even Rachel’s pity. I was dealing with things. But I was barely dealing. And I felt like if someone was nice to me I’d totally fall apart.

I’m a predator. A raptor. A hawk. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me.

"I don't want your pity" is a tired trope for a gritty square-jawed American action hero, but for Tobias it particularly rings true because he was a loser and a nerd, and he feels (correctly) that he's better than that now. He's not better than that because he became a hawk, but he understandably associates that with why.

Also, sometimes the CGI-ish inside covers were boring and sometimes they were cool; this one is an illustration of that pivotal final scene which in retrospect looks like a spoiler but if you looked at it before starting the book you'd probably think it was a metaphor or something. I think it's one of the better inside covers. It displays a moment which really encapsulates what the book is about.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





I didn't think it was a metaphor at all, I thought he went to see Jake or something.

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

Didn't the little cutaway reveal he was morphing into whoever the kid is?

I just remember thinking that they'd decided the covers had to show a morph, so they could show him morphing into a bird, then morphing back into a human for 13, and if they'd stayed with him as a nothlit there would have been a whiteboard in the graphic designer's office with "Book 23 = ???"

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp
Logically morphs don't age, if only because they'd have to pick up new fly morphs every month or so otherwise.

Gun Jam
Apr 11, 2015
IIRC, the writers said post-series that "we didn't think about it, but if we did, we would have said that Tobias human form do ages because Ellimist"

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

This book absolutely rules. I mean basically every Tobias book does but this one especially.

feetnotes
Jan 29, 2008

Rachel mentions trying to picture herself with different hair coming out of a morph once, but also specifically says it doesn't work. Supposedly the morphing technology re-forms a morphed animal's body each time it's used, right? I'm not sure if they specifically say it works in reverse when going back to their human bodies; those rules seem inconsistent. Morphing to an animal and back heals injuries, but doesn't mess with haircuts and fingernails, piercings, etc. And also brings back some clothes.

Megamorphs 2 spoilers: I seem to recall that when they return to the present from dinosaur times, they try to use dino-morphs again but can't. Either through speculation or by having Ax say something about it, it's explained that their morphs would have aged and died long ago so they're no longer accessible. Though this makes no sense with them using the same fly morphs without needing to reacquire new ones every few days. For me it's just one of those things you have to accept in science fiction where the rules make sense for the most part but if you try to think through EVERY implication it would fall apart a little bit.

Morphing is explained just enough to set up rules but vaguely enough that we can imagine some Andalite morphing scientists working around whatever problems and saying "thank the Ellimist we invented the, you know, Jub Jub device or whatever" :science:

Epicurius
Apr 10, 2010
College Slice

feetnotes posted:



Megamorphs 2 spoilers: I seem to recall that when they return to the present from dinosaur times, they try to use dino-morphs again but can't. Either through speculation or by having Ax say something about it, it's explained that their morphs would have aged and died long ago so they're no longer accessible. Though this makes no sense with them using the same fly morphs without needing to reacquire new ones every few days. For me it's just one of those things you have to accept in science fiction where the rules make sense for the most part but if you try to think through EVERY implication it would fall apart a little bit.

It's not even that. Jake tells Cassie, "You know, since we got back, I can't morph into a T-Rex", and Cassie answers, "Hmm, weird. Ax would probably know why. You could ask him." Jakes' answer is, "Eh, even if he knew how, I probably wouldn't understand his explanation anyway." And that's pretty much the entire exchange about that.

More generally about morphing and these types of questions, I console myself with the last line of the MSK3000 theme. "If you wonder how he eats and breathes, and other science facts, repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show, I should really just relax'".

QuickbreathFinisher
Sep 28, 2008

by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Epicurius posted:

It's not even that. Jake tells Cassie, "You know, since we got back, I can't morph into a T-Rex", and Cassie answers, "Hmm, weird. Ax would probably know why. You could ask him." Jakes' answer is, "Eh, even if he knew how, I probably wouldn't understand his explanation anyway." And that's pretty much the entire exchange about that.

More generally about morphing and these types of questions, I console myself with the last line of the MSK3000 theme. "If you wonder how he eats and breathes, and other science facts, repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show, I should really just relax'".

Love that Jake, the Big and not very Bright leader who balks at any use of morphing for any non-Yeerk purpose, tries to morph a T-rex as soon as he gets back from the Cretaceous or whatever. not that I wouldn't do the same, that would be an incredible battle morph.

E: at least a 90s T-Rex would be. although defeat at the hands of a massively fluffy toothed passerine would be a huge moral drain on our Visser

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

E: at least a 90s T-Rex would be. although defeat at the hands of a massively fluffy toothed passerine would be a huge moral drain on our Visser

Wait what's changed? I thought they just have feathers now or something?

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp
applegate and grant are cowards for not letting them keep the dino morphs, prove me wrong :colbert:

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





No I agree

They would have won the war immediately

Epicurius
Apr 10, 2010
College Slice


Animorphs Book 14: The Unknown-Chapter 1

quote:

My name is Cassie.

I can’t tell you my last name. The Yeerk danger is too great. There are days when it feels like a noose slowly tightening around my neck. There are days when I don’t feel like I can trust anyone. But as long as they don’t know for sure who I am, maybe my friends and I can stay alive. Maybe.

Kind of dramatic-sounding, right? I sound like maybe I’m paranoid or nuts, don’t I? Well, trust me, I’m not being overdramatic. I’m probably the least dramatic person you’ll ever meet. And I’m not one of those crazy conspiracy people or anything. Really.

I’m just an average girl. I’m not some supermodel or rock star or whatever. I’m short. Okay looking, but definitely not beautiful. I’m more stocky and solid than tall and willowy. If you want tall and willowy, you’ll have to meet my best friend, Rachel.

But that’s not me. I’m a short girl with short black hair and no makeup and a wardrobe that runs the gamut from jeans all the way to overalls. I own two pairs of boots. Both are currently covered with mud and various kinds of animal poop. I also have a couple of nice pairs of rubber gloves. You don’t even want to know what’s all over them.

See, I work with animals a lot. I help my dad, who’s a veterinarian. He runs the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic, which is actually just our barn. He takes in all kinds of injured wildlife and sets their broken legs, and heals their mange, and soothes their burns, and disinfects their bites.

I help him out after school and on weekends. Mostly I do things like give the animals their “meds” - that’s medications. I wash the animals and their cages, and feed them, and change dressings, and help my dad out in surgery. He’s teaching me how to suture. You know - how to make stitches
after you perform surgery.

Cool, huh? At least, to me it is. But in any case, now you know why I own poopy boots and gross gloves and several pairs of torn, stained jeans.
What can I say? I will not be appearing on the cover of Seventeen.

On the other hand, Rachel is my best friend, and Rachel is without a doubt the coolest person I will ever know. And Jake likes me - as in likes - and he’s the smartest, strongest, most balanced person I’ve ever met. Except maybe for my parents, who are cool but in a parental way.

So anyway, I guess the lack of a decent wardrobe hasn’t set me back too much. One way you can judge a person is by looking at their friends … and their enemies. I have wonderful friends.

And terrible enemies.

I have the kind of enemies that no normal, short, fashion-impaired animal nut should have.

Earth is being invaded. It is being invaded by a species of intelligent parasites called Yeerks. In their normal state they’re just these grayish slugs. Like big fat snails without their shells. But the Yeerks have the ability to enter the brain of another animal, wrap themselves around the brain, sink into all the little cracks and crevices, and utterly take over.

The Yeerks have already enslaved the entire Hork-Bajir race. They’ve made allies of the vile Taxxons. And now they are after us.

They’re here. They’re all around you. You just don’t know it. They can be anyone. You think you know your friends? Your teachers? Even your parents? Maybe you do. But maybe you don’t. Because any of them might have a Yeerk living inside their head. Any one of them might be a Controller.

That’s what we call a person who is enslaved by a Yeerk. A Controller. A human-Controller, which is a human who is completely enslaved by the Yeerk in his or her head.

I mentioned Jake earlier. His brother, Tom, is one of them. At school, our assistant principal, Chapman, is one of them.

And who is fighting to stop this invisible, secret Yeerk invasion? Just a bunch of kids. Jake, Rachel, Marco, Tobias, an alien kid named Ax, and yours truly.

Now you’re worried. You’re thinking, Earth is being invaded by evil slugs from outer space and all we have on our side is a bunch of kids?

Well, we’re not exactly just a bunch of kids. We have certain abilities. See, we learned about the Yeerks from the dying Andalite prince, Elfangor. He gave us the Andalite morphing technology. It allows us to become any animal we can touch.

I’ve been a wolf and an osprey and a fly. I’ve been more than a dozen animals. I’ve been through terrible dangers, and awful, violent battles. But I’m still alive. Still just Cassie.

There's our standard summary of the series premise.

quote:

And I still don’t care about clothes. Which just drives Rachel nuts, even after all these years.

Rachel was standing there in the barn, just staring at me.

“Cassie, I’m just saying, look, wear jeans if you want. Wear overalls. Wear crusty rubber boots. I can accept all that. But you could at least buy jeans that fit.”

“These fit fine,” I protested.

“Cassie, you know I love you. You know you’re my best friend in the whole world. But those jeans are so short you could wade across the Mississippi and not get them wet. When did you buy them? When you were four?”

I looked down at my jeans. They did happen to end about an inch above the tops of my boots. I grinned at Rachel. She gets so distressed about things like that. There was a look of actual pain on her face. Like the mere existence of jeans this short was agonizing. “You’re saying these are too short?”

“Not if there’s a flood coming,” Rachel said. “If you’re expecting a flood, those would be the exact jeans to wear. Just come with me. I’m going to … the place. They’re having lots of sales. I want you to come with me.”

I narrowed my eyes. I knew what “the place” was. “I’m not going to the mall with you,” I said.

“Who’s going to the mall?” a voice asked.

It was my dad. He’d just opened the side door of the barn.

“Rachel is going to the mall,” I told him.

“Please make her go with me,” Rachel begged my father.

He laughed. “Nope. Sorry, Rachel. I need Cassie. Crazy Helen called and we have a sick horse way out on the edge of the Dry Lands.”

Rachel looked down at my father’s own jeans. They ended about six inches above his shoes, revealing socks that didn’t exactly match.

“Gee, I wonder where Cassie gets it from?” Rachel said dryly.

I made a helpless shrug for Rachel. “Darn. Now I can’t drag behind you for three hours while you power-shop and guys drool all over you. Oh, what a pity. Oh, life is so cruel.”

Rachel made a face at me, then laughed. “Hey, a sick horse is far more important than buying jeans that go all the way down.”

“Come with us,” I said to Rachel. I like my dad and all, I really do, but a two-hour drive with just him and his old Stevie Wonder CD’s was not going to be fun.

“Yeah, right,” Rachel said.

I said, “Come with us, and tomorrow I’ll let you pick out a new pair of jeans for me.”

“Real jeans? Not some pair of blue cardboard-looking bargain jeans?” Rachel bit her lip, and got a misty look in her eyes. “Of course, you’ll need a nice top to go with them … .”

And that’s how we ended up discovering the evil horses that threatened all of humanity.

But I’d better not get ahead of myself. First we had to drive to the Dry Lands.

This a stupid book. But, God, I respect the hell out of any author who ends their first chapter with, "And tht' how we ended up discovering the evil horses that threatened all of humanity.

Chapter 2

quote:

It was dark by the time we got away from the city, away from the far edge of forest and out into the area we usually called the Dry Lands.

The Dry Lands aren’t exactly desert. I mean, we’re not talking cactuses and so on. But the area is a kind of wasteland of scruffy grass and lots of emptiness that seems to stretch on and on forever.

Here and there you’ll see a tree, or maybe a few trees, but mostly it’s all just grass and wildflowers and scrub and piles of boulders that jut up out of the ground like they were piled there by some ancient giant.

Not that we saw much of the Dry Lands that night. It was highway all the way there. An hour of highway, with all three of us crammed in the front seat of the pickup. My dad won’t let us ride in the back. It’s not safe.

But of course Rachel and I couldn’t really talk much, with my dad right there. It’s not just that he’s a parent. It’s also that he doesn’t know anything about our lives as Animorphs.

“So, who’s Crazy Helen?” Rachel asked, desperate for anything to talk about.

“Probably shouldn’t call her that,” my dad said. “Even though that’s what she calls herself. She’s an old woman, maybe eighty years old. She has a trailer behind a souvenir shop she owns. I met her years back when there was trouble with the Dry Lands horse herds.”

“There was a problem with intestinal parasites,” I explained. “Worms.”

“For who? The horses or Crazy Helen?” Rachel asked.

“There it is,” my dad said, interrupting my search for a really funny comeback to Rachel.

He pulled the truck up to a souvenir stand topped by a gigantic billboard that read LAST CHANCE SOUVENIRS. The billboard was bigger than the actual store. The store was closed and looked like it had been for years.

Behind the store was a trailer. It was an Airstream. You know, one of those silver, bullet-shaped trailers? There was an awning out front trimmed in bright Christmas lights. Even though it was nowhere near Christmas.

Crazy Helen came out when she saw us pull up. She had stringy gray hair and was wearing a faded flowery blouse over patched jeans and cowboy boots.

“Hey,” Rachel said. “It’s you, Cassie. In sixty or seventy years.”

I “accidentally” dug my elbow into Rachel’s side, and we both laughed.

“Actually, Cassie, you’ll end up running some big volunteer organization that saves unhappy chickens and whales or whatever,” Rachel said, softening her sarcasm.

I kind of liked that picture of my future. Although I wasn’t sure how I was going to work with chickens and whales at the same time.

You end up with either dehydrated whales or wet chickens.

quote:

“She’s over there. Over there,” Crazy Helen yelled as soon as we piled out of the truck. “It’s a big roan mare. She’s acting all funny. Like maybe she’s been eating the loco weed.”

“Loco weed?” Rachel asked me.

I shrugged.

Locoweed's a thing. Or actually, a bunch of things. A bunch of different plants, all of them legumes, make a chemical called swainsonine. It's poisonous, and livestock that graze on it, and eat too much of it, behave erratically, and eventually die.

quote:

“Hi, Helen,” my dad said calmly. “We’ll go take a look, see what we have. How have you been?”

“Those darn aliens still won’t let me sleep,” she said.

I saw Rachel stiffen. I gave her a wink. In a low whisper I said, “Different aliens.”

“They keep sending me the messages through my teeth,” Helen said. “They keep on telling me they’re gonna land, right out here. But I haven’t seen a Martian land in forty years. Very untrustworthy.

Very, very sneaky, untrustworthy folks.”

“Who?” my father asked.

“The Martians, that’s who.” Crazy Helen laughed. It wasn’t an insane laugh. More of a gentle, knowing sound. I wondered sometimes if Crazy Helen was really crazy, or just playing a game.

“Well, we’ll go look at this horse,” my dad said.

Rachel and I shone flashlights into the dark. The moon was up, but it was just a sliver and didn’t cast much light. And soon we were beyond the pool of light from the trailer and the billboard. Out in the absolute blackness you get when you’re far from the city.

The flashlight picked out stumpy trees and bushes and rocks. The only sound was the rustling of the tall grass as we walked.

My father and I peered deep into the gloom, looking for a horse. Rachel, on the other hand, turned to look back toward the highway.

“Hey. Is that the horse you’re looking for?” Rachel asked.

“Where?”

“There. Back by the road. Back by that pay phone.”

My dad and I turned back to look. A scruffy roan horse was swaying from side to side as it walked. Swaying like a drunk.

As we watched, the horse seemed to be attracted to the telephone. It picked up the receiver with its mouth and let it hang off the hook.
And that’s when things got strange. The horse lowered its head to the ground, picked up a twig in its lips, and seemed to be poking the telephone keyboard.

“Am I crazy, or is that horse trying to make a phone call?” Rachel said.

My dad shrugged. “Must be disoriented. Doesn’t know what it’s doing. Come on, let’s get over there.”

I dropped behind a few steps to fall in with Rachel.

“That horse is dialing the phone,” Rachel said in a whisper.

“Sure looks like it,” I agreed.

“Ordering a pizza?” Rachel suggested.

“Hay, alfalfa, and extra cheese?”

My dad was getting close to the horse. The horse spotted him, and hesitated. Like it wanted to complete its phone call. But also wanted to run away. It decided to run. Only it wasn’t really up for running. The best it could do was wobble off into the darkness, practically falling over as it went.

“Whoa, girl, whoa,” my dad said in his calming-the-animals voice. “Whoa. I’m just trying to help you.”

But the horse wasn’t interested. It swayed and wobbled and drifted away as fast as it could. I lost it in the darkness, but then we heard a WHUMPF sound.

I broke into a run and soon caught up to my father. He was kneeling over the fallen horse. The horse was still trying to stand up, but it was out of it.

“What do you think it is?” I asked my dad anxiously. The horse was sweating profusely. It glared at us with huge brown eyes.

“Well, it could be a lot of things,” he answered. “But I’d put my money on snake bite. Try and keep her calm. I have to get some things from the truck. I’ll be right back.”

“Snakes?” Rachel said.

“Sure. There are lots of snakes out here,” I said. I patted the horse’s flank and made soothing noises.

“Not at night, though, right? I mean, snakes are probably a daytime thing … right?”

“Not always.”

“Great. This is much better than the mall. Poison snakes and phone-calling horses.”

Suddenly I noticed something happening to the horse’s head. “Look!” I cried.

There, crawling its way out of the horse’s left ear, was a slug. A large gray slug.

“Is that what I think it is?” Rachel whispered.

“Yeah. I think so.”

The gray slug wormed its way out of the horse’s head. It plopped heavily on the gravel and grass beneath it. And then it started to writhe away.

I’d seen those slugs before. We both had.

“Yeerk,” I whispered. “There was a Yeerk in this horse.”

The Yeerk crawled into the darkness. I glanced back and saw my dad still digging through his medical supplies at the truck. And that’s when the pale stallion appeared.

He was not a terribly large horse. But you knew right away, from the first glance, that this was a powerful animal. He stepped calmly toward us, head held high. He looked down at the snake-bit horse. And then he looked at the crawling Yeerk.

It was hard to see clearly in the dark, but I think the Yeerk tried to raise itself up to the horse.

Like it was trying to reach it. Then the stallion turned and began to run away.

“Rachel?”

“Yeah.”

“We have to get out of here.”

“What do you mean? Why?”

I didn’t know why. It was a feeling. An instinct. But it was really strong. “Just do it. Run! RUN!”

I grabbed Rachel’s arm and yanked her along with me. We took about eight steps, then …

TSSEEEEEWWW! TSSEEEEEWWW!

A blinding light! Brilliant and intense as a flashbulb-in-your-face light! The light was coming from above. From the sky.

The very rocks split open. The ground itself seeming to explode!

My face hit the dirt before I even knew I was falling.

We're only on the second chapter, and already a Yeerk-infested horse has tried to make a phone call, and then was zapped by a Dracon beam. This book....

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer


Young Orc
I love this book, it's incredible, literally every part of it is goofy as hell and very good

Piell fucked around with this message at 05:19 on Dec 21, 2020

HisMajestyBOB
Oct 21, 2010


College Slice
Book 13 was one of my favorites as a book. It's very well written and Tobias is an amazing character. In this re-read, the Ellimist stuff stood out a bit more, probably because I've seen enough "inscrutable god-like aliens who claim not to interfere but actually do" in other media now, but not enough to bring the book down.

This book was my favorite Cassie book. I never liked her other books and stopped reading around book 32 or so. This one is just delightfully fun.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Oh God now I remember! This book has one of my favourite jokes in the series

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Also I'm going on record as saying evil horses are nowhere near as dumb as a chicken that is not a chicken

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

I had forgotten this whole scene. It's kind of fun seeing which books I remember real well and which ones I don't. I remember virtually nothing of 15, even though (unlike this silly one) I recall it being actually pretty overall important.

HisMajestyBOB posted:

This book was my favorite Cassie book. I never liked her other books and stopped reading around book 32 or so. This one is just delightfully fun.

She gets a lot of silly ones, plus she's the Morals and Ethics character which I got bored by as a kid (a lot of us probably did) but which is more interesting and compelling as an adult. 19 is probably the most important book for her personal character arc, but my favourite of hers I think is 29 - one which is also really important for her character arc (and the broader moral themes of the series) but which is also just a really good, tight, high stakes thriller.

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008

~* Challenge *~


The best thing Cassie ever does is when some racists call her the n-word so she shows them how white she can be.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp
I don't remember a single part of this book so I'm looking forward to how bananas it gets.

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Acebuckeye13 posted:

I don't remember a single part of this book so I'm looking forward to how bananas it gets.

On that note, is it possible to morph a plant?

freebooter
Jul 7, 2009

Plants have RNA not DNA :science:

Also I just went down an enjoyable rabbit hole for an hour or two on the Animorphs wiki, and if you think this book is bananas, I just read a plot synopsis which contains the phrase "upon spotting Hitler, Tobias..."

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Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

freebooter posted:

Plants have RNA not DNA :science:

Also I just went down an enjoyable rabbit hole for an hour or two on the Animorphs wiki, and if you think this book is bananas, I just read a plot synopsis which contains the phrase "upon spotting Hitler, Tobias..."

Oh, that book I remember in explicit detail, and I cannot wait to revisit it. :allears:

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