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elise the great posted:The Eagles aren’t Eagles. this is broadly the premise of The Last Ringbearer: it purports to be a historical adventure fiction written in the world where the Lord of the Rings was an epic poem based on a historical war, like the Iliad or the Song of Roland. the author had it professionally translated into english but then no publishing house would touch it for the predictable legal struggles, so he just tells people to pirate it.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 02:54 |
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# ? May 27, 2024 04:02 |
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Wait I thought the Lord of the Rings saga was penned by Frodo Baggins, you know, the dude who actually bore the ring? Are you telling me that the original copy has been destroyed or falsified??
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 03:13 |
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elise the great posted:The Eagles aren’t Eagles. cool
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 03:18 |
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:Wait I thought the Lord of the Rings saga was penned by Frodo Baggins, you know, the dude who actually bore the ring? Are you telling me that the original copy has been destroyed or falsified?? Modern historiographers believe that 'Bilbo' was a concatenation of at least three historical personages.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 03:48 |
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Frodo definitely wrote his own version, but just as Bilbo tidied up his adventures quite a bit, I’m sure some things didn’t make the final cut. Like Legolas and Gimli’s wedding. Can’t believe that got left out. The LotR we know and love, in-fiction, would more accurately be a compiled adaptation syncretizing the Red Book and the official Gondorian accounts of Aragorn’s adventures, among other sources. It’s possible, though unlikely, that Frodo agreed to write up his memoirs with roughly 10000 statements supporting Aragorn’s throne-claim, and even named the entire volume about his most intense and traumatic experiences “Return of the King” instead of “Fall of the Ring” or whatever. He even asked Sam to write more of it, not considering it complete. Most likely, Frodo’s writings were adapted later to include some of the rad adventure bits that Frodo missed, which incidentally were preserved in the Gondorian classic, The Totally Amazing & Badass Tales of Aragorn the Best King Ever.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 04:12 |
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Ok but how do the past 100 posts explain this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtJQspGrp8A
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 04:17 |
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The Lone Badger posted:Modern historiographers believe that 'Bilbo' was a concatenation of at least three historical personages. Bilbo - Frodo -Sam Socrates - Plato - Aristotle So the question is, who’s Diogenes?
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 04:30 |
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christmas boots posted:So the question is, who’s Diogenes? Wasn't he that guy who got smashed by a door
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 04:34 |
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Tom Bombadil, obviously
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 04:40 |
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christmas boots posted:Bilbo - Frodo -Sam Diogones cares about nothing and lives with animals so it's obviously Tom Bombadil
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 04:41 |
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LifeSunDeath posted:audiophiles are like qanon of the music world
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 05:24 |
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mlmp08 posted:These guys might be really stupid. 22 Eargesplitten posted:Apparently he also admitted to the whole thing on Parler so lol, good luck to whoever his defense attorney is. pantslesswithwolves posted:He also missed an opportunity to do what we’ve all done when found in possession of forbidden magazines: say he found them hidden in a stump in the woods.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 05:49 |
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Goldberg and Tom Bombadil are definitely poly af. E: autocorrect, but you know what? There's been enough Jewish denial amongst the elves! Embrace yourselves! Looking forward to the Elvish-Yiddish songs.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 08:51 |
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LOTR would have been a lot simpler if they could have just hit Sauron with a spear and a jackhammer
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 10:30 |
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Goldberg and Tom Bombadil are definitely poly af. Elrond melting down because after his eldest married a tailor and his second eldest a political dissident his third daughter wants to marry a human, but, at the end he still gifts the reforged Anduril to the newlyweds before taking himself and his youngest daughters to America
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 10:39 |
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Yeah Bombadil is a good fit
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 11:06 |
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elise, i need to know, your opinion on this is desperately important to me jackson or bakshi?
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 11:30 |
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Oh like there's any possible debate about that
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 11:32 |
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My Lovely Horse posted:Oh like there's any possible debate about that
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 11:35 |
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flavor.flv posted:Tom Bombadil, obviously They meet Bombadil pretty soon after staying with Farmer Maggot, who gave them mushrooms as a parting gift right ? My theory is they were just really loving high on shrooms and the whole Old Man Willow-Bombabil-Barrow Wight stretch was a giant hallucination. Gandalf and the Council were just humoring them when they talked about Tom there. They got their knives, well, hobbit swords by graverobbing while high.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 11:46 |
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The real question is, Western LotR adaptations, or Finland's Hobitit Feel free to work out which is which. You may be surprised at who's Boromir and who's Legolas. Also sorry, that's missing Gandalf, here's Gandalf.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:13 |
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hobitit gollum is amazing
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:14 |
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The Lone Badger posted:Modern historiographers believe that 'Bilbo' was a concatenation of at least three historical personages. the canonical version was compiled at the council of rivendale, some six hundred years after the commonly accepted date of the war of the ring apart from the obvious political glosses, much of the original symbolic meaning was by this time widely misunderstood. for example, it is unlikely that hobbits were actually physically smaller than "men" or "elves." this, along with the famous hairy feet and such, was a well established trope signifying the class position of the shire dwellers which later came to be interpreted literally. bilbo was most likely a local member of the minor nobility who rose to prominence, paving the way for the firm alliance between the yeomanry of the shire and the military and political elites of rhohan and gondor represented by the figure of frodo. the business with smaug was most likely a satirical rendition of the struggles of the shire elite to be accepted into the "councils of the wise." Hodgepodge has a new favorite as of 12:22 on Jan 6, 2021 |
# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:18 |
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ha ha ha ha hobi tit IIRC there's also Sourass the farting wizard.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:20 |
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Bildo Saggins? Dildo Shaggins is right there...
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:28 |
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Not the fellatioship of the ring?
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:29 |
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if a porn parody somehow makes it to the second book, it doesn't even need to change the name
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:30 |
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Cum Squirt.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:32 |
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in a really dedicated trilogy, none of the male actors should cum until the ring is destroyed in the third act. it isn't lava that the eagles save frodo and sam from. some of these elves have not had an organism in three thousand years. why did i type this? why am i hitting 'post'?
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:37 |
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All fair points, but "Diddle Earth" I'm pretty sure is the perfect porn parody name.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:38 |
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Hodgepodge posted:in a really dedicated trilogy, none of the male actors should cum until the ring is destroyed in the third act. it isn't lava that the eagles save frodo and sam from. some of these elves have not had an organism in three thousand years. LoTR was 6 books
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:46 |
Biplane posted:Bildo Saggins? Dildo Shaggins is right there... It's all coming up thrilbo..
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:48 |
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Want to see a faithful porn parody of The Silmarillion
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 12:55 |
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dao Jones posted:Georgia is a blue state, wow TulliusCicero posted:It took an Abrams to finish what a Sherman started
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 13:02 |
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Inceltown posted:LoTR was 6 books saving that for the, ah, extended edition
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 13:14 |
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steinrokkan posted:Want to see a faithful porn parody of The Silmarillion I just wanted to join in ok
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 13:40 |
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:ha ha ha ha hobi tit I saw this in college. When they get to Mount Doom to destroy the G string it's literally the back stage of the set where some crew member takes it from the cast and throws it in a garbage can. Then another character shows up and says "the director wants us to shoot another orgy scene", so they do. This company made a bunch of these parodies, and they're all entertaining to watch. The Planet of the Apes parody was the best one we watched, and a Spider-Man one too.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 13:57 |
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meriadoc and pippin were, of course, botanists who lived some four hundred years after the war of the ring. due to the success of their work with the ents, it is possible to hear a nearly firsthand account of the battle of isengard from one of the many clones and splices of treebeard which flourish to this day. naturally, such an influential tale had to be included in an account meant to establish a legitimate claim to historical authority.
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 13:57 |
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Wait wait wait The Railmesillyon
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 14:06 |
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# ? May 27, 2024 04:02 |
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Splicer posted:Wait wait wait "The Slamarillion" is right there .
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# ? Jan 6, 2021 14:26 |