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femcastra posted:Love dinner time mortality talk. Oof 🥺
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Jan 9, 2021 14:57
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Uff. Sometimes kids have the weirdest gravitas. Sort of an Update for our now almost 6mo: the tongue-release frenotomy went rather well and he also managed the stretching exercises like a champ. But what worries us is that his weight has almost stagnated for a few weeks now. He was mainly breast-fed until recently but we started with Formula and various kinds of porridge now but to no avail. He doesn’t take to the bottle and just chews on it without drinking and he doesn’t seem to recognize the porridge as food yet and is more interested in playing with it and spitting it out instead of swallowing.
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Jan 9, 2021 15:49
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Even though it's a part of life and everyone does it, there's something so raw about watching your kids come to terms with their mortality. I still remember doing it myself as a child - the conversation, the remarks that I don't want to die, the coming to terms with it. There was something so heartbreaking about having my daughter ask "when will I die?". Especially if you don't believe in an afterlife, a subject which obviously often comes up in the course of a death conversation. I mean, I don't tell them definitively that there's no afterlife - I tell them that no one knows for sure, but that mummy and I believe that nothing happens after we die. Not having that belief to communicate to soften things (even if presented as an opinion rather than a fact) makes the conversation that bit tougher. But it does lead on to more positive lines of discussion, such as making the most of the time we have, and trying to live our lives to the best of our abilities.
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Jan 9, 2021 18:44
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One of my biggest heartaches is that my mom never got to meet any of her grandkids (she died just <2 years before the first). But since it’s just the way it is for them the kids are not overly sad about that. I get it, but it was just a bit of a weird realization that it won’t be as big of a deal to them as it was to me once they were old enough to understand their grandma on that side wasn’t around. However, about a year ago the middle one would sometimes say that grandma had visited her at night to tuck her back into bed and it was kind of a mixture of sadness and also amazement that she probably said this stuff because she realized I was feeling bad about it and I missed my mom. This was completely out of the blue too it wasn’t like I was talking to her about it the night before or anything.
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Jan 9, 2021 19:03
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Mistaken Identity posted:Sort of an Update for our now almost 6mo: the tongue-release frenotomy went rather well and he also managed the stretching exercises like a champ. But what worries us is that his weight has almost stagnated for a few weeks now. He was mainly breast-fed until recently but we started with Formula and various kinds of porridge now but to no avail. He doesn’t take to the bottle and just chews on it without drinking and he doesn’t seem to recognize the porridge as food yet and is more interested in playing with it and spitting it out instead of swallowing. Glad to hear it's working out. I wouldn't sweat it about the weight unless it goes on a long time. They don't keep adding on the pounds at the same pace past 5-6 months, as they become more active and eat more solids. I guess you're having regular checkups - they'll check that if the weight curve doesn't move, the head circumference or height does, or vice versa.
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Jan 9, 2021 22:17
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Yeah my mum died 14 years ago now and I named my daughter after her. She was an incredible mum and she would have loved my girls. She was a midwife too so when I was a teenager I always had this thought that she would help me in labour. I miss her fiercely after all this time and while I’m glad my daughters get a great relationship with my MIL, I’m so sad that my mum never met them.
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Jan 9, 2021 22:25
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My sister died last year and for, like 8 solid months everytime my 6 year old met someone new she'd lead "my aunt Marge died ... My dad's sister died." Made for some super awkward meetings of new folks (her age and ours).
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Jan 10, 2021 00:44
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My grandma Elsie passed away a year to the day before my daughter was born. My daughter’s middle name is Elsie and it was just chance that she ended up being born on the anniversary of her death. The last time I saw her alive was right after my miscarriage in 2019. I’m really glad I went with my mom on that trip up north. Nessa fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Jan 10, 2021 |
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Jan 10, 2021 03:21
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"I wish people didn't die and could live forever like garbage cans." Me too, I guess.
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Jan 10, 2021 04:56
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I had the same conversation about my mum with my 3-year-old, who just kept asking "why is she dead?" Then said "aww, Grammy deady!" and went back to her toys.
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Jan 10, 2021 09:27
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My sister in law suffered a miscarriage a few years ago and few people at the time knew she had gotten pregnant. Nobody really talked about it so I figured it was a private matter. Then one day my daughter says to me matter-of-factly: "Tia Cici had a baby in her belly but it died"  Apparently my daughter had asked her aunt if she had a baby in her belly and my sister in law was pretty candid about what happened.
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Jan 10, 2021 17:50
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I’m not sure about throwing this “I am a sex haver derail” into mortality chat but I need to brag about it to somebody and it seems a little weird to actually say it to people I know (somehow telling strangers is better?) Anyway we had sex about 6 weeks post partum, for the first time since like 2nd trimester (my god has it been that long?). It was not what I would call a success for a variety of reasons but it was nice to know that we can still try. Thread title is accurate and very funny. Will continue to take it slow and make sure there’s no pain or discomfort. All of the baby apps were so cheeky “week 36! Your hormones will make you so horny! This means that it might be time for some sex! It will help with cramps and could help promote on time labor! Get laid!” And we encountered literally 0 of that and just pure discomfort and absolutely no fooling around.
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Jan 10, 2021 18:30
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Jumping back a bit to the discussion on late talking, our 23 month old is far behind where our first kid was (even behind where she was at 15 months). He makes lots of babbling consonant- vowel sounds, and can say no/yes/mama/dada as well as a few random phrases he hears often like "I did it" or "uh oh", but his vocab is very limited and he just kind of points/babbles for objects he wants. Normally I would assume normal variance, but during labor the Dr. overdosed blood pressure medication or it had some interaction with the epidural and my wife's blood pressure dropped to 50/20 for a while and they almost had to do an emergency C-Section before they got it under control. It was like a clown car of nurses pulled up where we went from being bored watching tv to 20 nurses/doctors running around and rushing us to an operating room within 5 minutes. During the initial newborn screen they discovered a hearing defect, but it resolved when they tested again a day later so it was assumed it was fluid in his ear. Now I am just paranoid he got brain damage from the labor or he has hearing problems or something.
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Jan 10, 2021 18:44
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You are receiving this broadcast as a dream...We are transmitting from the year one nine... nine nine ...You are receiving this broadcast in order t
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space uncle posted:All of the baby apps were so cheeky “week 36! Your hormones will make you so horny! This means that it might be time for some sex! It will help with cramps and could help promote on time labor! Get laid!” And we encountered literally 0 of that and just pure discomfort and absolutely no fooling around. Hah, no. We had constant yeast infections from ca week 25 and onward so no-no on the vaginal sex. Apparently you can get unlucky that way.
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Jan 10, 2021 19:22
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space uncle posted:I’m not sure about throwing this “I am a sex haver derail” into mortality chat but I need to brag about it to somebody and it seems a little weird to actually say it to people I know (somehow telling strangers is better?) Congrats on at least the attempt! My wife really is horny in the second trimester right now, but it’s cancelled out by her being tired or sick. With our first she was sick every goddamn day and with the second pregnancy its the exact same. We have tried to be intentional but also spontaneous when the gremlin is down for a nap but instead she takes a nap too because she’s tired as gently caress, and if she doesn’t and we try, our son wakes up. That’s usually fine if he would get up and just play in his room but he refuses to do that lately—he just wakes up grumpy as gently caress and cries for like 20 minutes, and it’s hard to stay in the mood when your kid is basically crying to the tune of, “gently caress you guys I hate everything right now” But drat, sorry it’s been such a long time. Best wishes for your eventual sex-having!
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Jan 10, 2021 22:25
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space uncle posted:I’m not sure about throwing this “I am a sex haver derail” into mortality chat but I need to brag about it to somebody and it seems a little weird to actually say it to people I know (somehow telling strangers is better?) After 3 failed IUI's we started IVF, and all the drugs and injections were just hell on my wife. I think we had sex maybe 2 weeks before the IVF that finally worked (the fifth one), then never again until he was maybe 8 months old, so about a year and a half? So, I feel your pain, but it is what it is and you just roll with it. Even now (1.7yo) it's hard to muster up the enthusiasm while simultaneously finding the opportunity. Congrats your your resumed sex-having!
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Jan 10, 2021 22:54
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My libido was unreal from the second morning sickness stopped until the second I went into labour. Unfortunately my husband lost interest in sex from the moment I started showing. It did coincide with an incredibly stressful time at work for him so that didnt help but despite his assurances otherwise I do think being visibly pregnant was affecting his interest. It was a bit of a sad time for lots of reasons but especially because his libido is usually higher than mine and I kind of thought it would have been nice to match up for a change.
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Jan 11, 2021 00:40
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Alterian posted:I'll start a topic for us with kids a little older that's not "bad" or "braggy", I just hope I don't open a can of worms with it. It's a couple pages back, but I wanted to say hi! One of my kids is trans; she's a little younger than your son. She transitioned a while back, and we are incredibly fortunate to live in an extremely supportive community. There are parenting groups in our area for folks with transgender kids, which have been a great source for answering questions, seeing the range of paths people take wrt gender, and how to advocate with your kid. I'm happy to talk more here or in pm.
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Jan 11, 2021 02:58
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I gives a gently caress if my wife is showing—if there’s an opportunity and she’s willing, I’m buying two tickets to pound town and my wife is Ticketmaster
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Jan 11, 2021 04:18
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life is killing me posted:I gives a gently caress if my wife is showing—if there’s an opportunity and she’s willing, I’m buying two tickets to pound town and my wife is Ticketmaster I don't think I could really even tell with the lights off until third trimester, for the most part. I definitely get affected by work stress though.
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Jan 11, 2021 04:23
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Tummy time always makes me think of the Void-Kampff test. You reach down and flip the baby over on its tummy, [Name]. The baby lays on its tummy, its belly pressed against the carpet, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that, [Name]?
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Jan 11, 2021 07:27
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Tummy time always makes me think of the Void-Kampff test. Tummy time sounds so cute and play-based but in reality it’s you anxiously checking a clock as your baby yells in frustration/anger for the duration.
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Jan 11, 2021 11:32
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PerniciousKnid posted:I don't think I could really even tell with the lights off until third trimester, for the most part. I definitely get affected by work stress though. Yeah, we all do. I’ve had spells where I wasn’t into it because of work, never because my wife was showing, but work was getting at me hard and I wasn’t interested in sex or apparently sleeping halfway decently. As it happens sometimes one’s wife is very pregnant and tired, and Dad’s picking up the slack at home so she can rest, plus working. It happens.
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Jan 11, 2021 15:08
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BadSamaritan posted:Tummy time sounds so cute and play-based but in reality it’s you anxiously checking a clock as your baby yells in frustration/anger for the duration. We did most of the tummy time lying on our chests while we lounged on a chair or couch, it made for much happier times than that sounds like. The angle makes it a bit easier for them too... Plus infants do like to look at faces.
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Jan 12, 2021 09:35
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Our kid realized that we'd been lying to her this whole time and tummy time was mere steps away from the forbidden fruit of stomach sleeping, and just immediately goes to sleep if you put her on her stomach now Besides being anti sids, the real reason to have kids sleep on their back is to torture parents and have children that, should they somehow manage to get to sleep laying on their back, can be woken up at the drop of a hat or the slightest breeze
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Jan 12, 2021 11:42
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BadSamaritan posted:Tummy time sounds so cute and play-based but in reality it’s you anxiously checking a clock as your baby yells in frustration/anger for the duration. I feel like that is one part where we lucked out. Ours took to tummy time rather quickly and managed several minutes without really getting cranky on the first try. He recently started crawling a few weeks ago at a little bit over 5mo so it seems that general motion seems to be his forte so far. His fine motor skills suck though.
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Jan 12, 2021 11:44
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Hadlock posted:Our kid realized that we'd been lying to her this whole time and tummy time was mere steps away from the forbidden fruit of stomach sleeping, and just immediately goes to sleep if you put her on her stomach now It’s insane. My son went from screaming bloody murder on his belly to sleeping on his belly only just overnight one day. He’s been a belly sleeper ever since. Dumb question time though about diapers: So we have our son in the night diapers for his size, the extra big ones so we dont have to do a change overnight. When he was back-sleeping the diaper filled up all the way around, but now about half of the time with him stomach sleeping only the front of the diaper fills up and it leaks a little bit and we have to clean him up and wash everything. Is this normal? Is there a way to make sure it fills up completely?
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Jan 12, 2021 16:50
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L0cke17 posted:It’s insane. My son went from screaming bloody murder on his belly to sleeping on his belly only just overnight one day. He’s been a belly sleeper ever since. This happened with our son and changing brands fixed it for us, though we only use normal diapers and not overnights. We were using Pampers and switched to Huggies and haven't had any leaking issues since.
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Jan 12, 2021 17:30
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Distant Grandparent Question Being an expat who lives in Canada with my parents in the UK, we are generally video calling a lot. Now, everyone's mind just jumped to FaceTime, Skype, WhatsApp didn't it, mine too, along with Google Meet. However, despite using all of those in one way or another, I had a practical question about which is best for the 3 year old kid context with distant grandparents? My Dad sent me a recommendation he had from a friend for the Together app, believing it to be free. A quick look at their FAQ indicates that it's in fact USD$7/mo for 20hrs + additional costs for more. However, the pricing may be OTT in 2021, but the idea of having an easy way to do shared story time and joint activities isn't necessarily a bad one. A general note: Currently she has limited, not-even-daily tablet use, supervised (a note to new parents, this isn't as onerous as it sounds, it really means looking over her shoulder every few minutes). I don't necessarily mind her sharing this time with her grandparents. Any thoughts on this one and how do other people handle it?
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Jan 12, 2021 17:33
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I've had way more issues with leaky (pee) diapers with our boy than our girl. Had to learn to try to tuck his lil wiener facing down and that helped stop him peeing straight up on his shirt. That probably won't solve your problem, though. How old is he? If he's not breastfeeding anymore, consider removing liquids in the last 30 minutes to 1 hour before bed? I don't think there's going to be a good way to redirect the pee to the rear of the diaper - but maybe try other brands? We have had a handful of instances with our (now) 3 year old peeing through her diaper at night and we could generally link that to too much liquids right before bed. I think I also remember reading a comment from a pull-up manufacturer saying that girls could use their boy pull-ups but they wouldn't recommend boys use their girls pull-ups because they don't have as much absorbent material in the front of them. It feels bad that they gender them with designs - for example pj masks for boys and minnie mouse for girls.
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Jan 12, 2021 17:35
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Rooted Vegetable posted:Distant Grandparent Question I've never heard of this app before now, but if your kid is already showing an interest in playing tablet games then that definitely sounds like it's worth at least 7 bucks to try for a month. How many times have you dropped that much on a new toy or food that didn't pan out like you expected? Ours doesn't really care about screens (she used to be fascinated with sliding around stuff on the lock screen but that has waned) so FaceTime is sufficient. Locking down the app while talking to grandparents is key though. It took me a long time to figure it out but once I realized I could disable touch input then it became a lot easier to let her hold the tablet without accidentally ending the call.
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Jan 12, 2021 17:56
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How do I encourage my 8 year old to do something she’s not going to enjoy? She had an opticians appointment today, and didn’t sit still during the eye tests, and would flinch when the light was shone on her eyes. This then resulted in a requirement for her to go back and get eye drops to relax the pupil for further tests. She’s had this before, and I’ve had to restrain her on my knee (yes I know, that’s a bit of a parenting fail - but I didn’t know what else to do), so she’s well aware of how bad this is going to be. The positive news is it’s not for a week, so I’ve got some time on my hands to practice / get her ready. What should I do?
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Jan 12, 2021 18:37
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extravadanza posted:I've had way more issues with leaky (pee) diapers with our boy than our girl. Had to learn to try to tuck his lil wiener facing down and that helped stop him peeing straight up on his shirt. That probably won't solve your problem, though. How old is he? If he's not breastfeeding anymore, consider removing liquids in the last 30 minutes to 1 hour before bed? I don't think there's going to be a good way to redirect the pee to the rear of the diaper - but maybe try other brands? He's 8 months old We're using the huggies, and I don't think removing liquids right before bed would help. Those things are FULL when he wakes up, and he usually has an almost empty diaper when I go to bed several hours after he does. I'll see about switching brands and maybe that'll help
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Jan 12, 2021 19:31
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Oodles posted:How do I encourage my 8 year old to do something she’s not going to enjoy? Can you promise her a special treat, i.e. go do something fun like have ice cream with you, or something else she likes but doesn’t typically get to do, if she is a big girl during the eye appointment (or whatever language you use with an 8 year-old)?
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Jan 12, 2021 19:34
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L0cke17 posted:He's 8 months old Do you need to go up a size? That was almost always the solution for consistently peeing through diapers at night, even if the smaller one still fits and works fine during the day. Also, I cannot recall what size an 8 month old wears, but there are nighttime diapers that have more absorbent filling which noticeably help.
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Jan 12, 2021 20:07
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BadSamaritan posted:Tummy time sounds so cute and play-based but in reality it’s you anxiously checking a clock as your baby yells in frustration/anger for the duration. my wife acts like I'm an rear end in a top hat when I put on noise cancelling headphones for poo poo like this, but I highly recommend it
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Jan 12, 2021 20:13
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Pain of Mind posted:Do you need to go up a size? That was almost always the solution for consistently peeing through diapers at night, even if the smaller one still fits and works fine during the day. Also, I cannot recall what size an 8 month old wears, but there are nighttime diapers that have more absorbent filling which noticeably help. Pampers starts overnight diapers at size 3. We started using them for our 2nd before he was wearing 3s during the day (who happens to be 8 months old). You can also buy separate insert pads to suck up more, in case the overnights are too big.
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Jan 12, 2021 20:32
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First time poster in the thread, honestly need somewhere to vent. We have two kids. We held both kids out of preschool in the fall and our hope was to send our older kid, who just turned four, starting in January for a couple of days a week. The preschool actually had a small outbreak in the middle of December and that, coupled with the generally lovely numbers here (we're in Atlanta) has made me really nervous, and we kept him home last week when they reopened. But our kid was also diagnosed with mild to moderate ASD in November, so sending him to preschool has become seemingly more crucial for his development socially. His first day is supposed to be tomorrow and I'm nervous as hell about sending him but I also want him to do well socially and not just interact with his little brother. This all just loving sucks and I hate that every decision right now has to feel so complicated and lovely.
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Jan 12, 2021 20:37
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Oodles posted:How do I encourage my 8 year old to do something she’s not going to enjoy? Coach like CRAZY. Start now. I get both my kids (3 and 6) to willingly take vaccines with minimal fuss, but it takes hours of ongoing work beforehand. Start with what's going to happen, why it's important, and the consequences of what might occur if it does not happen. Walk through the process - minimize drama, but don't lie. When we talk about shots, I acknowledge it will hurt a little, but no more than a quick pinch then it's over. We talk about mitigation strategies (with the big one especially) - taking deep breaths, looking away, etc - and then practice them. I probe about her concerns, and then we talk through them. Over and over. We talk about being brave - which means being scared but doing it anyways - and then practice that. We talk through reactions that help (crying, squeezing mom's hand) and reactions that don't (tensing up, pulling away). Then for the cherry I try and focus on the fun thing we will do immediately afterwards, as a reward for being brave. On the day of, I try and let my kid set the pace while also keeping things gently moving along. If she needs a sec, then we can take it BUT we have to practice a technique like deep breaths while we do it. Hopefully something there is helpful? My older kid is a high-anxiety one, so we practice this SORT of thing a lot to help her build coping strategies. My 3 year old doesn't care as much, but I figure it can't hurt him either.
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Jan 12, 2021 20:37
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L0cke17 posted:He's 8 months old Haha yea, 8 months - fill that baby up before bed if you want any sleep!
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Jan 12, 2021 20:38
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