|
2 year old nephew putting a book over his face while being changed: I'm wearing a (covid) mask
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2021 12:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 19, 2024 14:09 |
|
|
Very responsible, I hope you praised him.
|
|
#
?
Jan 4, 2021 22:34
|
|
|
of course 
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2021 06:06
|
|
|
My five year old daughter told me a joke today. Why did the apple cross the road? It wanted to get to the poop.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2021 06:17
|
|
|
BigBallChunkyTime posted:My five year old daughter told me a joke today. My 3yo niece:  Knock knock Who's there? Poop Poop who? Poop or no poop, I'm going swimming!No one knows where this came from.
|
|
#
?
Jan 5, 2021 10:25
|
|
|
While falling asleep: "I was very brave. I want a helicopter as a present."
|
|
#
?
Jan 6, 2021 02:55
|
|
thunderdome winner
|
4 year old son: Blippi says Raphael is radical but that's Splinter not Raphael! ...I'll be really loving happy when youtube stops shoving POLITICAL ADS in kids videos. At least he knows his Ninja Turtle lore.
|
|
#
?
Jan 7, 2021 05:44
|
|
|
Stairs posted:...I'll be really loving happy when youtube stops shoving POLITICAL ADS in kids videos. uBlock Origin works on YouTube.
|
|
#
?
Jan 7, 2021 06:56
|
|
|
Today during our walk "Hey Dad, what if trees had butts? Like people butts" Then a bit later "I'd go spanking through that forest " while pounding her fist into her palm
|
|
#
?
Jan 20, 2021 05:20
|
|
|
Tiggum posted:uBlock Origin works on YouTube. its never too early to teach them about
|
|
#
?
Jan 20, 2021 15:13
|
|
|
Beer_Suitcase posted:Today during our walk Robin Hood and Little John, spanking through the forest...
|
|
#
?
Jan 20, 2021 15:20
|
|
|
I'm going to have hemherroid surgery in the next few week and was explaining it to my kids. My daughter's takeaway is that they are going to cut out my butthole and give me a robot butt. I wish real life was this cool.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 21:43
|
|
|
space station 13 thread is thataway
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2021 23:52
|
|
|
kids make everything sound way cooler than it is. o to live in that world again also good luck w the surgery
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 00:17
|
|
|
"Jupiter is my favorite planet. I love its secrets." "What kind of secrets?" "The biggest." I think my son is conspiring with Jupiter.
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 00:49
|
|
|
Jupiter will teach your son The Terrible Secret of Space
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 00:57
|
|
|
Today I told the kids they could pick their own topic to write about and if they were stuck adn couldn't come up with something they could write about me instead. Some choice quotes: "She is very good at typing and she likes explaining things."  "Sometimes she washes the dishes." 
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 02:16
|
|
|
Only sometimes? I hope there's someone else who washes the dishes the rest of the time. But kidding aside, that's adorable. My mother is a kindergarten teacher and here stories are always a joy to hear. For example, she is really goddamn bad at cutting bread, as in off of a loaf, so her Butterbrot usually ends up being like an inch and a half thick. It's a real event in her Kindergarten whenever she makes some and they all stand around staring in amazement at how anyone could possibly eat those! They're practically as large as their heads! This is and will always be the best thread.
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 14:14
|
|
|
Beer_Suitcase posted:Today during our walk Just want to say that my girlfrind and I have been saying "I'd go spanking through that forest" at each other for the past couple days. Magnificent piece of the English language.
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 20:50
|
|
|
Cardiovorax posted:Only sometimes? I hope there's someone else who washes the dishes the rest of the time. that's too cute omg I love working with the age group I work with (6-7) because they're at a point where they're able to share some really solid and thought provoking questions and opinions and have a proper discussion with you for a few minutes, but young enough that you still get the occasional line that sounds like it was generated by a neural network.
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2021 21:36
|
|
|
My son is nine, and learning what he likes about girls and how to express his attractions. "When I see her butt, it gives me butt anxiety." "Butt anxiety?" "Yeah, it makes my penis fly away."
|
|
#
?
Jan 29, 2021 03:56
|
|
|
 , kiddo
|
|
#
?
Jan 29, 2021 17:33
|
|
|
Beachcomber posted:My 3yo niece: I bet I know! She was excited to go swimming but someone pooped in the pool and they had to clean it. I took swimming lessons all through elementary school and this happened at least once a month.
|
|
#
?
Jan 29, 2021 18:17
|
|
|
I remember my son was watching a nature show segment about Cape buffalo, he must've been 8 or so. He said, "They have those horns, but if there are lions coming it can use beef vision." Beef vision? "Yeah, it shoots steaks out of it's eyes and they slap the lion so hard it goes away."
|
|
#
?
Jan 29, 2021 19:12
|
|
|
My 4yo in Target today, eyeing the nitrile gloves: "I wish they made these in my size so I could touch dead animals!"
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 23:53
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 01:48
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 06:22
|
|
|
My sister asked her son (2yo) if he wanted to watch a cartoon No, I wanna watch the evening news! You sure? What about Shawn the Sheep or something? No, the evening news.So she put the news on, and he got on the sofa & pulled on a blanket and sat there for the whole thing, occasionally chuckling or asking what "the old man" was saying
|
|
#
?
Feb 5, 2021 17:04
|
|
|
One of the reporters on the PBS NewsHour (now broadcasting mostly from her home, because the US has bungled the pandemic) has a really cute cat, and apparently children now watch just to see Lisa’s cat 
|
|
#
?
Feb 5, 2021 17:57
|
|
|
omg Danish news is still in studio, so no cats 
|
|
#
?
Feb 5, 2021 18:05
|
|
|
On Youtube there is a suprising amount of videos of cats photobombing live news reports and such, like by climbing up a reporter's body to perch on their shoulder. I heartily recommend looking those up sometime, it's very funny and adorable.
|
|
#
?
Feb 5, 2021 18:12
|
|
|
Four year old "My great-grandma has become a skeleton. Skeletons love to dance..." Delivered suddenly following a lecture about how zombies bite brains, are green, and live in churches.
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 00:39
|
|
|
Oh, I think I get that one. Churches are often next to graveyards and zombies are dead, so by transitive property they would also live in a church.
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 21:54
|
|
|
FreudianSlippers posted:Four year old I just find it so weird that kids are now pretending to be zombies.
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 22:17
|
|
|
There was also a spirited debate amongst the four year olds about whether vampires æ, and by extension bats, count as ghosts.
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 22:20
|
|
|
They can't time-travel, so they're not ghosts.
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 22:23
|
|
|
Alhazred posted:I just find it so weird that kids are now pretending to be zombies. Growing up zombies were terrifying to me because, you know, all the zombie movies and poo poo that showed them to be really gross and scary. When I thought about zombies I pictured Romero style undead. Kids growing up now are exposed to zombies through things like minecraft. Still the same basic concept, but a lot less terrifying. They're almost cute!
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 22:28
|
|
|
Taeke posted:Kids growing up now are exposed to zombies through things like minecraft. Plants Vs.
|
|
#
?
Feb 6, 2021 23:46
|
|
|
Taeke posted:Growing up zombies were terrifying to me because, you know, all the zombie movies and poo poo that showed them to be really gross and scary. When I thought about zombies I pictured Romero style undead. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2021 00:57
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 19, 2024 14:09 |
|
|
Children's television really isn't what it used to be.
|
|
#
?
Feb 7, 2021 01:04
|
|