Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Runcible Cat
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post

Justin Timberlake as Grima Wormtongue.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Mark wahlberg as elrond
Keep the boston accent.

Jaden smith as legolas

thumper57
Feb 26, 2004

skasion posted:

SAURON (singing)
I am Sauron

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Kelsey Grammer would make an excellent Theoden, honestly.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

Kelsey Grammer would make an excellent Theoden, honestly.

David Hyde Pierce as Wormtongue

fancy stats
Sep 9, 2009

A man's man, wears a lot of denim, tells long stories and has oatmeal saved from this morning.

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

Kristen Wiig as Galadriel

perfection

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Mike Myers as Shagrat.

Runcible Cat
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post

Jim Carrey as Gollum.

Toebone
Jul 1, 2002

Start remembering what you hear.
James Carrey as Smeagol
Jeff Daniels as Deagol

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Toebone posted:

James Carrey as Smeagol
Jeff Daniels as Deagol

Nah that's frodo and Sam

perc2
May 16, 2020

Toshiro Mifune as Lotho Sackville-Baggins

Jigsaw
Aug 14, 2008

perc2 posted:

Toshiro Mifune as Lotho Sackville-Baggins

Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter as the Sackville-Bagginses

E: Dwayne Johnson as Aragorn

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Jack black as Gimli and Karen Gillan as Arwen.

Rhys Darby is already a Kiwi so he could play Celeborn and get that New Zealand representation.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Jigsaw posted:

E: Dwayne Johnson as Aragorn

It's already been decided he can only play Tulkas

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Sam Elliott would make an excellent Elrond. I want to hear him speak Elvish.

Tree Bucket
Apr 1, 2016

R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Arcsquad12 posted:

Jack black as Gimli and Karen Gillan as Arwen.

Rhys Darby is already a Kiwi so he could play Celeborn and get that New Zealand representation.

Jermaine Clement in various hats as all the ringwraiths

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Benedict Wong as the Gaffer.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

Sam Elliott would make an excellent Elrond. I want to hear him speak Elvish.

I'd never be able to buy his deep Sindarin drawl

Jigsaw
Aug 14, 2008
Andy Samberg as Pippin
Andy Richter as Merry

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I legitimately think Sam Elliott would be amazing in this part

quote:

Elrond raised his eyes and looked at him, and Frodo felt his heart pierced by the sudden keenness of the glance. ‘If I understand aright all that I have heard,’ he said, ‘I think that this task is appointed for you, Frodo; and that if you do not find a way, no one will. This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck?


‘But it is a heavy burden. So heavy that none could lay it on another. I do not lay it on you. But if you take it freely, I will say that your choice is right; and though all the mighty Elf-friends of old, Hador, and Húrin, and Túrin, and Beren himself were assembled together, your seat should be among them.’


‘But you won’t send him off alone surely, Master?’ cried Sam, unable to contain himself any longer, and jumping up from the corner where he had been quietlysitting on the floor.


‘No indeed!’ said Elrond, turning towards him with a smile. ‘You at least shall go with him. It is hardly possible to separate you from him, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.’


Sam sat down, blushing and muttering. ‘A nice pickle we have landed ourselves in, Mr. Frodo!’ he said, shaking his head.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Glowering Elrond in the movie gets a bad rap but props to PJ for managing to make hay of the comedic release of tension at the end of that scene by playing up that LOOK that Elrond gives Sam (/merry/pippin).

Data Graham fucked around with this message at 04:49 on Feb 13, 2021

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

I legitimately think Sam Elliott would be amazing in this part

quote:

Elrond raised his eyes and looked at him, and Frodo felt his heart pierced by the sudden keenness of the glance. ‘If I understand aright all that I have heard,’ he said, ‘I think that this task is appointed for you, Frodo; and that if you do not find a way, no one will. This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck?


‘But it is a heavy burden. So heavy that none could lay it on another. I do not lay it on you. But if you take it freely, I will say that your choice is right; and though all the mighty Elf-friends of old, Hador, and Húrin, and Túrin, and Beren himself were assembled together, your seat should be among them.’


‘But you won’t send him off alone surely, Master?’ cried Sam, unable to contain himself any longer, and jumping up from the corner where he had been quietlysitting on the floor.


‘No indeed!’ said Elrond, turning towards him with a smile. ‘You at least shall go with him. It is hardly possible to separate you from him, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.’


Sam sat down, blushing and muttering. ‘A nice pickle we have landed ourselves in, Mr. Frodo!’ he said, shaking his head.

Stan Laurel as Frodo and Oliver Hardy as Sam.

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
Groucho as Frodo, Chico as Sam, Harpo as Gollum

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

skasion posted:

Groucho as Frodo, Chico as Sam, Harpo as Gollum

imo groucho as gollum

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

Harpo as Faramir

Groucho as Gollum

Chico as Sam

Zeppo as Frodo

Sarern
Nov 4, 2008

:toot:
Won't you take me to
Bomertown?
Won't you take me to
BONERTOWN?

:toot:
Idris Elba: Aragorn
Denzel Washington: Denethor
Lakeith Stanfield: Faramir
Lupita Nyong'o: Arwen
Michael B. Jordan: Eomer
Lance Reddick: Theoden
Jamie Hector: Glorfindel

Hannibal Rex
Feb 13, 2010

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

Sam Elliott would make an excellent Elrond. I want to hear him speak Elvish.

The Man Who Killed Sauron and Then the Bombadil.

Toebone
Jul 1, 2002

Start remembering what you hear.
James Gandolf-ini

Edit: Tony Sirico as Saruman

Kemper Boyd
Aug 6, 2007

no kings, no gods, no masters but a comfy chair and no socks
In case someone wants to talk about Tolkien rpg's, I made a zero effort thread about it in TG: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3958991

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
Its funny how Sauron twice gets dunked on right when he thinks everything is going well. He's hanging out in Numenor enjoying how badly he screwed them when Eru sinks it and he loses his form. Then he thinks he's about to destroy the Captains of the West but gets a brief moment of realizing how badly he hosed up between when Frodo claims the Ring and it gets destroyed.

When I read The Silmarillion back in high school, I remember thinking that Morgoth was a bit pathetic. He's a petty bully who brings about terrible suffering and destruction but also gets clowned on basically any time anyone gets close to directly attack him.

They're well written characters.

Omnomnomnivore
Nov 14, 2010

I'm swiftly moving toward a solution which pleases nobody! YEAGGH!
Morgoth is a big baby who is so mad anything exists that he didn’t make he devotes his existence to taking a dump in God’s pool.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Shiroc posted:

Its funny how Sauron twice gets dunked on right when he thinks everything is going well. He's hanging out in Numenor enjoying how badly he screwed them when Eru sinks it and he loses his form. Then he thinks he's about to destroy the Captains of the West but gets a brief moment of realizing how badly he hosed up between when Frodo claims the Ring and it gets destroyed.

When I read The Silmarillion back in high school, I remember thinking that Morgoth was a bit pathetic. He's a petty bully who brings about terrible suffering and destruction but also gets clowned on basically any time anyone gets close to directly attack him.

They're well written characters.
Morgoth was such a sucker that he was present at the Creation and yet still manages to pick a fight with a pissed-off elf which he only wins because he was like eighty feet tall. He is permanently injured by this activity. He is also almost eaten by a spider.

Tolkien's villains are really modern.

indiscriminately
Jan 19, 2007
Screamed in such fear that it echoed for thousands of years

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
Sauron's cult in Numenor consists of Ben Garrison style drawings of Morgoth and rambling screeds about how he totally was NOT a big dumbass.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

Shiroc posted:

Its funny how Sauron twice gets dunked on right when he thinks everything is going well. He's hanging out in Numenor enjoying how badly he screwed them when Eru sinks it and he loses his form. Then he thinks he's about to destroy the Captains of the West but gets a brief moment of realizing how badly he hosed up between when Frodo claims the Ring and it gets destroyed.

When I read The Silmarillion back in high school, I remember thinking that Morgoth was a bit pathetic. He's a petty bully who brings about terrible suffering and destruction but also gets clowned on basically any time anyone gets close to directly attack him.

They're well written characters.

What the hell did Sauron think was gonna happen anyways? "Hey go attack God's realm."

Like yeah Numenor was gonna pay but did Sauron really think he was gonna escape punishment for that decision?

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?

Nessus posted:

Morgoth was such a sucker that he was present at the Creation and yet still manages to pick a fight with a pissed-off elf which he only wins because he was like eighty feet tall. He is permanently injured by this activity. He is also almost eaten by a spider.

Tolkien's villains are really modern.

Also got maimed by a pissed off Eagle. Maybe the modern villain analogy is a bit too on the nose.

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

Ginette Reno posted:

What the hell did Sauron think was gonna happen anyways? "Hey go attack God's realm."

Like yeah Numenor was gonna pay but did Sauron really think he was gonna escape punishment for that decision?

He certainly didn't think the Valar would throw up their hands and call Upstairs. They hadn't done dick to stop him conquering just about all of Middle-Earth for a whole Age, he probably didn't expect to do anything but laugh all the way back to Mordor.

Blood Boils
Dec 27, 2006

Its not an S, on my planet it means QUIPS
Sauron is only a good villian in the Sil, he doesn't have enough presence in LOTR. Tbf that's a problem with a lot of fantasy it seems

Runcible Cat
May 28, 2007

Ignoring this post

Blood Boils posted:

Sauron is only a good villian in the Sil, he doesn't have enough presence in LOTR. Tbf that's a problem with a lot of fantasy it seems

Because a lot of fantasy is just cargo-culting LotR. "Yeah the Dark Lord sits in his tower and sends out armies and minions; that's how it WORKS, duh."

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
I mean Sauron being analogous to the unseen, uncaring higher level of government that sends millions of soldiers to die for causes not their own and spread untold misery while being unreachable is pretty accurate to life.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply