Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Finger Prince

biosterous posted:

selling used items but the ads are way too specific, in a vaguely unsettling way

"for sale: hair clippers. used exactly once"

Used axe. Only used for chopping wood. Thoroughly cleaned prior to selling.

# ? Feb 11, 2021 21:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 11:05

biosterous

Finger Prince posted:

Used axe. Only used for chopping wood. Thoroughly cleaned prior to selling.

one box of assorted chocolate bars. box is sealed with original glue

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 11, 2021 22:34

google THIS

For sale: baby shoes, never worn, listed size is actually a child's "T" size

# ? Feb 11, 2021 22:39

Dip Viscous

kitchenaid stand mixer, like new in box, did NOT get used for "you know what"

# ? Feb 12, 2021 01:45

nut

for sale: big league chew. used once

# ? Feb 12, 2021 01:48

google THIS

Actor: Butts

Director: Cut! No no no! You have to say it in a butts voice!

Actor: wtf is a butts voice?

Director: (in a butts voice) Butts

Everyone in the studio: Whoa

# ? Feb 12, 2021 03:33

Skanky Burns

For sale: Rolling pin. Condom not included.

# ? Feb 12, 2021 04:21

Filthy Hans: by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 10 years!)

free refrigerator, works well but I'm letting it go because it's haunted

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 12, 2021 06:06

Dip Viscous

awkwardly trying to have a casual conversation and get off the phone after accidentally calling the bar that mr. jablome actually frequents

# ? Feb 13, 2021 09:19

Jestery: Not a Dickman, just a shape

biosterous posted:

selling used items but the ads are way too specific, in a vaguely unsettling way

"for sale: hair clippers. used exactly once"

Make the thread

# ? Feb 13, 2021 11:17

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

I'm a fan of the 90s sci fi film The Matrix. But one thing I never understood is the scene in the construct where Neo says "We need nuns, lots of nuns".

# ? Feb 13, 2021 12:04

biosterous

Jestery posted:

Make the thread

thread made

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 13, 2021 14:52

Filthy Hans: by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 10 years!)

Prurient Squid posted:

I'm a fan of the 90s sci fi film The Matrix. But one thing I never understood is the scene in the construct where Neo says "We need nuns, lots of nuns".

why did the old black lady tell neo he'd be "white as rain"?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2021 20:38

Prof. Crocodile

Ever since I confused Rainbow Dash and Rarity at MLP trivia night, everyone has started calling me a 'jabrony'.

# ? Feb 14, 2021 15:01

manero

Prof. Crocodile posted:

Ever since I confused Rainbow Dash and Rarity at MLP trivia night, everyone has started calling me a 'jabrony'.

if u were a Rastafarian u could be a jahbrony

# ? Feb 15, 2021 05:45

deep dish peat moss

Filthy Hans posted:

why did the old black lady tell neo he'd be "white as rain"?

in The Matrix universe due to the machines' early experiments with energy pods full of cows, all the rain is milk

# ? Feb 15, 2021 06:22

deep dish peat moss

Following a string of deadly crashes, NASCAR invests in self-driving car technology

# ? Feb 16, 2021 03:43

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

This isn't a joke but I don't know where else to put this.

Recently came across this imagine while very hungry:

And now... all I do is crave a sausage in just such a pretzel bun. I think from now on any time I eat a sausage, no matter how delicious, I will always think upon that imagine and how my lot is inferior.

# ? Feb 16, 2021 20:55

FactsAreUseless

Putting two popsicle sticks in a corn dog so you can eat it like corn.

# ? Feb 16, 2021 22:00

google THIS

Wrapping hotdog meat around an ear of corn

# ? Feb 16, 2021 22:04

deep dish peat moss

google THIS posted:

Wrapping hotdog meat around an ear of corn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VosRKPBGE8

# ? Feb 17, 2021 06:44

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

The toilet creed. This is my toilet, there are many like it but this one is mine... etcetera

# ? Feb 17, 2021 14:09

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

William Shakespeare's The Three Stooges.

# ? Feb 18, 2021 13:01

Prof. Crocodile

Prurient Squid posted:

William Shakespeare's The Three Stooges.

are we not human? if you hit us in the head with a pipe wrench does it not go �bonk�?

Prof. Crocodile fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Feb 18, 2021

# ? Feb 18, 2021 13:15

google THIS

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, *poke* And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

# ? Feb 18, 2021 15:42

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Blow winds, and crack your cheeks *curly accidentally turns on a giant fan which knocks over a mirror that hits moe on the butt*

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Feb 18, 2021 16:26

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
Strike flat the thick rotundity o� th� world,
*lightning strikes Larry and curly jumps to the ground in surprise where a board falls on him*

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Feb 18, 2021 16:29

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Someone make the thread

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Feb 18, 2021 16:29

deep dish peat moss

Recruiting for my brand new Traditional Scottish Gaming Clan

# ? Feb 18, 2021 23:09

Prof. Crocodile

deep dish peat moss posted:

Recruiting for my brand new Traditional Scottish Gaming Clan

pogs ~ haber toss

# ? Feb 19, 2021 02:22

Dip Viscous

going a lot of rounds with jose cuervo a bunch of times and suddenly realizing jose is not just making GBS threads his pants out of pity for you

# ? Feb 19, 2021 12:27

Chas McGill: loves Fat Philippe

deep dish peat moss posted:

Recruiting for my brand new Traditional Scottish Gaming Clan

Gamer haggis, single malt Monster energy.

# ? Feb 19, 2021 13:59

Finger Prince

What you gonna do with all those seeds
All those seeds inside your weed?
Imma sell sell sell sell that weed
Sell that weed to some teens!

# ? Feb 19, 2021 18:56

Dip Viscous

mavis beacon receiving an invitation to smash bros

# ? Feb 20, 2021 07:08

nut

the jester from encarta 95 mind maze in smash

# ? Feb 20, 2021 14:00

xcheopis

House cleaning is such a chore, so I tried locking the door and getting the temperature up to 880*F and now there's soot and ashes everywhere.

# ? Feb 20, 2021 18:29

bird.

video game difficulties except instead of easy medium hard it uses a year to describe it, i.e. 2015 easy, 2007 medium, 1999 hard, 1994 very hard, 1987 insane

# ? Feb 21, 2021 05:47

Dip Viscous

bird. posted:

video game difficulties except instead of easy medium hard it uses a year to describe it, i.e. 2015 easy, 2007 medium, 1999 hard, 1994 very hard, 1987 insane

easy, normal, abnormal, dense

# ? Feb 21, 2021 12:41

Dip Viscous

worf suddenly getting really obsessed with plaid shirts

# ? Feb 21, 2021 12:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 11:05

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

calling ellen degeneres "l.a. degenerate"

# ? Feb 21, 2021 18:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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