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Yeah, where's the swords and guns and vehicles? How are you going to sell playsets that don't include any of the main characters so you have to buy their action figures separately?
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Feb 7, 2021 01:09
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My niece's third birthday party was Plants vs Zombies themed. Her favourite stuffed toy is the 'gooser' which is what she calls the peashooters. It's one of her favourite things in the universe.
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Feb 7, 2021 01:19
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Im having hemorrhoid removal surgery and explained to my kids whats happening. My daughters takeaway is that they will be cutting out my butt and giving me a robot butt instead.
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Feb 7, 2021 03:22
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Man, again?? Looks like you just can't catch a break!
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Feb 7, 2021 03:31
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Tonight Me: where you all going? Wife: out for cigarettes (joke) 10 yo Son: yah, we’re gonna smoke some grass Wife: wtf, you dont know what grass is Son: do too! Its weed! Wife: wtf! How do you know that? Son: im smart! *starts dancing* Me: wtf..... Neither one of us smoke so its not like weed is a common subject around the house. No clue where that all came from. Gonna blame fortnite.
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Feb 7, 2021 03:45
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Great user name/son combo.
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Feb 7, 2021 03:46
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My nephew recently, when he saw some shredded cheese that had been sprinkled over tater tots remained on my plate: "If you're not going to eat that extra cheese then your life has no meaning." He was right, to be fair.
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Feb 7, 2021 15:55
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The profundity of children will never be matched. I miss that in my teenage kid. The stories he came up with about slapping Asian carp out of the air were amazing.
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Feb 7, 2021 20:13
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We've been drawing with coal in the kindergarten and I put all the drawings up for display. This means that there's now a coal drawing of what really looks like a big cock on the display wall.
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Feb 8, 2021 17:59
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This whole gallery is full kids being creepy little fucks. Reminds me of one night, snuggling with my then eighteen month old, maybe two years old, daughter, trying to get her to sleep. The entire room is dark, except for me reading something on my phone, with the brightness all the way down. Out of nowhere, my kid begins loving giggling. Just staring straight into the pitch black darkness, giggling her little head off. I turned the flashlight on, saw nothing, and she stopped and went to sleep.
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Feb 12, 2021 16:40
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"Alhazred!" "What?" "Look at me! I am adorable!"
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Feb 19, 2021 23:21
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Four-year-old wearing cat ears headband, cat paw gloves and cat slippers, "I am now a fully-covered cat! MEOW!"
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Feb 19, 2021 23:55
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My older nephews L & E (11 & 10) were visiting my parents, and my sister came by with my older nephew H (2). Dinner was being prepared, but every time E was even close to standing up, H made an extra-adorable face "E do you wanna play with me?"  like 10 times, he said thatH also has a thing where he'll go "I'm gonna get cozy" and he gets on the couch and gets blankets and pillows and sits up very straight like it's a serious thing to get cozy  Wish I had something to say about L & E but I wasn't there. I have to make do with pictures & facetime & summaries until covid is over 
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Feb 20, 2021 00:18
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Carthag Tuek posted:H also has a thing where he'll go "I'm gonna get cozy" and he gets on the couch and gets blankets and pillows and sits up very straight like it's a serious thing to get cozy It is truly a serious thing to get cozy. Or comfy, whichever you prefer.  For content, my year-old niece has taken up the habit of sitting in boxes. No cats at their house, so no clue where she picked it up.
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Feb 20, 2021 02:32
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Jade Rider posted:It is truly a serious thing to get cozy. Or comfy, whichever you prefer. Kids are like hermit crabs, they have a natural instinct to crawl into empty containers or shells.
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Feb 20, 2021 08:44
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This is completely true. One of my favourite things to do as a kid was to pull apart the couch (we had one of those two-piece sofas that fit into corners) and throw a blanket over the gap that I would then declare my new living cave. There was something strangely comforting about it. I still love sleeping in tents.
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Feb 20, 2021 12:45
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sleeping outside & listening to the the rain drum on your tent is amazing. one of the best things i experienced as a kid i was not a big fan of my pillow fort being drummed on by piss
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Feb 20, 2021 14:04
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I was washing my hands in the kitchen sink when I sprayed my wife with some water, prompted to yell out, "What the gently caress?!" Without skipping a beat my 6 year old belts out, "Yeah! What the gently caress, Dad!" with all the glee of a little kid who knows someone else is in bigger trouble than he is. Carthag Tuek posted:sleeping outside & listening to the the rain drum on your tent is amazing. one of the best things i experienced as a kid This raises some questions.
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Feb 20, 2021 15:00
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My 7 year old niece decided to make a valentines day book that contained words related to the holiday.      She was trying to write "kind"
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Feb 20, 2021 15:19
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I love how well that works if you just take it as presented. Nice love, romantic humor and silly kinks are the foundation of many a relationship.
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Feb 20, 2021 15:21
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tribbledirigible posted:This raises some questions. no kindshaming
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Feb 20, 2021 15:37
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My 5 year old daughter: "I want a cupcake!" me: "We don't have any cupcakes, honey." Her: (exasperated) "Well NOW how am I supposed to eat a cupcake?"
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Feb 21, 2021 01:12
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Alhazred posted:Kids are like hermit crabs, they have a natural instinct to crawl into empty containers or shells. Absolutely. I definitely did it, and my son too. He got into a dishwasher box and said we had to tape it closed so he couldn't "run away and escape in the night!" (emphasis his)
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Feb 21, 2021 02:15
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HopperUK posted:Four-year-old wearing cat ears headband, cat paw gloves and cat slippers, "I am now a fully-covered cat! MEOW!" Completely kitted out.
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Feb 21, 2021 02:47
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Beachcomber posted:Completely kittied out.
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Feb 21, 2021 02:52
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My 8-year-old is not a native speaker but picked up some English via YouTube. Yesterday he played with one of those Snapchat filters on my phone that pastes your eyes and mouth into a picture of a cow. This is what he recorded (in English): Hey guys. I'm a cow. (pause) Yeah. A cow. Um. So. (long pause) Guess I'm gonna poop some milk.
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Feb 21, 2021 07:39
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I felt genuinely  today when the kids at the kindergarten explained what tik tok is.
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Feb 22, 2021 16:53
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Alhazred posted:I felt genuinely Is it not, like, youtube but cooler for reasons?
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Feb 22, 2021 17:00
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It's like Youtube, but entirely for, like, short 30 second funny animal videos that just happened to you as you went through your day. You can't post a video above one minute in length there and you're encouraged not to. Perfect for children, pretty much.
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Feb 22, 2021 17:14
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tik tok is vine, op
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Feb 22, 2021 18:55
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Carthag Tuek posted:tik tok is vine, op but who was phone
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Feb 22, 2021 19:16
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From what I understand, one the things that actually separates tiktok from other video apps like vine or whatever is that it's incredibly easy to record a video with audio clips from movies/tv and music over it, so kids use it to do short dances or reenact scenes from tv in a funny way and stuff. The kids I work with do some really funny, creative and sometimes even beautiful stuff with it, it's pretty cool.
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Feb 22, 2021 20:06
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The app also supposedly sends everything it finds in your phones clipboard to home servers at regular intervals. 21st century privacy and all that, but when people go on about TikTok spying on you they mean TikTok takes it to a whole new level.
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Feb 22, 2021 20:42
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ThisIsJohnWayne posted:The app also supposedly sends everything it finds in your phones clipboard to home servers at regular intervals. 21st century privacy and all that, but when people go on about TikTok spying on you they mean TikTok takes it to a whole new level. I think zoomers know that privacy is a fiction regardless.
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Feb 22, 2021 20:57
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Bit of a difference between that and only being a step from outright keylogging you.
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Feb 22, 2021 20:59
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One of the kids In the kindergarten has named me "el protector". They also sometimes refer to me as professor. So my title is "el professor protector."
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Feb 24, 2021 12:29
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https://twitter.com/A24/status/1365058232734130186?s=20
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Feb 26, 2021 03:29
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Id pay to see Macaroon 5 in concert. My son, with the same tone and reverence as if he just made the greatest discovery in the history of mankind. "Dad!! I just realized something!! Burps are just mouth farts!!  "
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Feb 27, 2021 00:16
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Well, they are. https://twitter.com/toddedillard/status/1367238365448450051?s=20
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Mar 4, 2021 02:57
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My son was mad about a family situation. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it and he replied "dad, when I'm like this.... Your voice sounds like a toilet flushing". Been online almost 30 years, never been owned this hard.
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Mar 6, 2021 05:53
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