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I remember reading something quite young about how sex worked, but got confused on the details. When it said "the dudes dick gets longer", I thought it meant that both parties were still asleep in bed, and then the guys dick grew to like 8 feet long. It would snuffle around blindly like a snake under the sheets until it found the puss, then go to work. This of course didn't awaken either party either, so at some point a month or two later, the couple would just be like "Oh, guess we're pregnant now."
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Feb 24, 2021 09:21
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Thanks.
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Feb 24, 2021 09:25
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That's not what From Software's Sekiro taught me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FCTa3ZZZo0
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Feb 24, 2021 09:32
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My parents just got me to read the Clan of the Cave Bear series by Jean Auel when I was like 9 and assumed the sex in it was descriptive enough that I would get the idea
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Feb 24, 2021 09:38
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Clan of the Cave bear taught me it's rude to spill your seed on the ground instead of inside a vagina.
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Feb 24, 2021 09:43
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Isn't that the one where they get horny from watching horses gently caress?
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Feb 24, 2021 11:02
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Do the cave bears not gently caress or do they not gently caress in a seductive enough way?
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Feb 24, 2021 11:20
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It's dark in the cave.
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Feb 24, 2021 11:23
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duh, of course 
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Feb 24, 2021 11:43
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Daktar posted:Isn't that the one where they get horny from watching horses gently caress? in the sequel they get horny from mammoths
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Feb 24, 2021 11:56
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ChubbyChecker posted:in the sequel they get horny from mammoths Who doesn't get horny from mammoths though, to be fair.
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Feb 24, 2021 12:03
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Sex was invented by ancient Greeks as a development of various wrestling styles.
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Feb 24, 2021 12:05
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The only setup for a bad joke on video that I know of that is longer than this is the movie Cabin Fever. https://i.imgur.com/7Jq0Bp5.mp4
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Feb 24, 2021 13:02
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I remember reading something quite young about how sex worked, but got confused on the details. When it said "the dudes dick gets longer", I thought it meant that both parties were still asleep in bed, and then the guys dick grew to like 8 feet long. It would snuffle around blindly like a snake under the sheets until it found the puss, then go to work. This of course didn't awaken either party either, so at some point a month or two later, the couple would just be like "Oh, guess we're pregnant now." That's how barnacles do it. You read a book on barnacles.
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Feb 24, 2021 13:03
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biracial bear for uncut posted:The only setup for a bad joke on video that I know of that is longer than this is the movie Cabin Fever. ZOMG RANDOM BBQ
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Feb 24, 2021 13:04
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*holds up Spork*
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Feb 24, 2021 13:14
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Jestery posted:*holds up Spork* 
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Feb 24, 2021 14:07
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:I remember reading something quite young about how sex worked, but got confused on the details. When it said "the dudes dick gets longer", I thought it meant that both parties were still asleep in bed, and then the guys dick grew to like 8 feet long. It would snuffle around blindly like a snake under the sheets until it found the puss, then go to work. This of course didn't awaken either party either, so at some point a month or two later, the couple would just be like "Oh, guess we're pregnant now." Did you end up making this music video? https://youtu.be/6QFwo57WKwg
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Feb 24, 2021 14:44
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When I was young I understood the logistics of the penis going in the vagina and the male orgasm, so I thought if you peed during sex it would trick the girl into thinking you'd cum a whole bunch and that would be super impressive to her.
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Feb 24, 2021 15:05
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It still impresses your mom.
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Feb 24, 2021 15:09
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Daktar posted:Isn't that the one where they get horny from watching horses gently caress? ChubbyChecker posted:in the sequel they get horny from mammoths rydiafan posted:When I was young I understood the logistics of the penis going in the vagina and the male orgasm, so I thought if you peed during sex it would trick the girl into thinking you'd cum a whole bunch and that would be super impressive to her.
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Feb 24, 2021 15:45
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It's bound to be futile and just lead to further mysteries when trying to explain sex without explaining the "why" When I encountered the term "sex drive" I thought it was like a food drive or blood drive
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Feb 24, 2021 16:03
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https://twitter.com/swizzle_kiss/status/1364471537491918849
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Feb 24, 2021 16:33
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I'm in this etc.
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Feb 24, 2021 16:49
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Feb 24, 2021 17:15
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Feb 24, 2021 17:21
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jesus loving christ
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Feb 24, 2021 17:23
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100% a porno title
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Feb 24, 2021 17:23
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Feb 24, 2021 17:26
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https://i.imgur.com/9F5L4HZ.mp4
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Feb 24, 2021 17:56
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The Bloop posted:That's my secret... I'm always pissing So you're not actually a squid but a rat! 
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Feb 24, 2021 18:07
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Lodin posted:So you're not actually a squid but a rat! As gas in CA rapidly approaches $4 this meme speaks directly to me.
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Feb 24, 2021 18:09
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcuFZr-B2Dc
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Feb 24, 2021 18:18
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gently caress this one is good
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Feb 24, 2021 18:31
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Lodin posted:So you're not actually a squid but a rat! I'm fantasizing that this shows America was forced on to the metric system and those are price per liter. My tastes are... unconventional.
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Feb 24, 2021 18:31
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bike tory posted:My parents just got me to read the Clan of the Cave Bear series by Jean Auel when I was like 9 and assumed the sex in it was descriptive enough that I would get the idea I’m just picturing you coming up behind someone and placing a hand on their hip repeatedly, waiting for them to drop trou and bend over, puzzled when nothing (positive) happens...
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Feb 24, 2021 19:30
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6HCu9edk54
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Feb 24, 2021 19:48
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https://twitter.com/historic_ly/status/1139355236575907840?s=20
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Feb 24, 2021 19:59
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toanoradian posted:At least you understood the orgasm part. I only understood the penetration part and thought the man slowed down as like a closing ritual to the act. When I was a kid around school it was common knowledge that semen was white with tiny black dots in it. I had no idea one way or the other but everyone knew yep, white with tiny black dots. From talking to my friends and cousins apparently this was a more or less universal belief in that age range, not just something at my school.  My best guess is that it's kids trying to grasp the concept of sperm cells?
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Feb 24, 2021 20:46
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PainterofCrap posted:I’m just picturing you coming up behind someone and placing a hand on their hip repeatedly, waiting for them to drop trou and bend over, puzzled when nothing (positive) happens... IIRC it was some hand gesture that the neanderthal dudes used that meant the womenfolk had to do that. At least in the second and third book the sex is all consensual and extremely orgasmic
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Feb 24, 2021 20:50
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