(Thread IKs:
bagmonkey)
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how many cheetos y'all think you could eat. I think I could eat a thousand cheetos easily. Crunchy or puffs, flamin hot or regular. I could do em all
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Mar 6, 2021 01:02
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| # ? May 30, 2024 15:48 |
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There's only one way to find out.
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Mar 6, 2021 01:02
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there's a 2 hr writing contest in CC tonight (signups closed) and i might force the judges to read a thousand word story about cheetos
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Mar 6, 2021 01:04
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Tip posted:all the cool kids use vintage memes these days, get with it grampa drat right 
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Mar 6, 2021 01:10
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Aardvark! posted:there's a 2 hr writing contest in CC tonight (signups closed) and i might force the judges to read a thousand word story about cheetos You're gonna have to compete with my thousand word story about Cheetos. Eating Cheetos. One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty-one Twenty-two Twenty-three Twenty-four Twenty-five Twenty-six Twenty-seven Twenty-eight Twenty-nine Thirty Thirty-one Thirty-two Thirty-three Thirty-four Thirty-five Thirty-six Thirty-seven Thirty-eight Thirty-nine Forty Forty-one Forty-two Forty-three Forty-four Forty-five Forty-six Forty-seven Forty-eight Forty-nine Fifty Fifty-one Fifty-two Fifty-three Fifty-four Fifty-five Fifty-six Fifty-seven Fifty-eight Fifty-nine Sixty Sixty-one Sixty-two Sixty-three Sixty-four Sixty-five Sixty-six Sixty-seven Sixty-eight Sixty-nine Seventy Seventy-one Seventy-two Seventy-three Seventy-four Seventy-five Seventy-six Seventy-seven Seventy-eight Seventy-nine Eighty Eighty-one Eighty-two Eighty-three Eighty-four Eighty-five Eighty-six Eighty-seven Eighty-eight Eighty-nine Ninety Ninety-one Ninety-two Ninety-three Ninety-four Ninety-five Ninety-six Ninety-seven Ninety-eight Ninety-nine One-hundred 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 I poo poo myself.
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Mar 6, 2021 01:17
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Meme Poker Party posted:Dang it I threw out my back again. Not happy about this!!! That’s what you get for typing out the lamia ear treatise one-handed
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Mar 6, 2021 01:34
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:That’s what you get for typing out the lamia ear treatise one-handed If only the cause and effect of back issues were so simple...
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Mar 6, 2021 01:37
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Aardvark! posted:there's a 2 hr writing contest in CC tonight (signups closed) and i might force the judges to read a thousand word story about cheetos Dang, I guess I should look at CC more often. Sounds like fun. Though I don't really care about feedback. Also, I think you gotta go by weight in terms of how much cheeto a person can eat. I could definitely put away a party size bag in one sitting, but probably wouldn't want to do a costco size bag. Maybe I'll write a cheeto story anyways
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Mar 6, 2021 02:07
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They put the Cheetos popcorn and the Cheetos crunchies in one bag now and lemme tell you they should just put a strap on that bag.
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Mar 6, 2021 02:10
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Mar 6, 2021 03:20
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MakaVillian posted:drat right 
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Mar 6, 2021 04:16
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I don't really like cheetos very much
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Mar 6, 2021 04:50
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Mar 6, 2021 04:58
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Made a few corrections 
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Mar 6, 2021 05:05
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As the sun set, the sky began to match the color of Kyle's product. He always hated this fuckin' time of day, right before it was his turn to sling to all the nasty Chesters that would come crawling to the spot, begging for discounts and samples. His mind would inevitably wander towards all the choices that had led him to this life, and it was just as inevitable that he would take a bump of ultrafine from his own personal stash. No way in hell he'd make it through the night otherwise. Kyle slowly walked towards his normal position that was on the gritty concrete steps of the community park, the ones near the bathroom. He groaned as the steps came into view, there were already two Chesters waiting. Word had come down just this morning that absolutely no one should be selling to this pair. "Hey, man I know we hosed up but..." "No," Kyle interrupted the especially grimy man. "You really hosed up. I ain't having poo poo to do with either of you." "Whoa, but you don't understand," said the other Chester as he leaned his face in way too close. "We got information ." Kyle didn't need to get that near to see this one was in especially poor shape. The man's face was a yellow shade of jaundice, the result of being just smart enough to take the new federally sponsored megastatins, yet not smart enough to prevent the liver damage from overuse. And of course his nostrils were ringed with product, though clearly of a trash tier quality. Probably popping bags at Safeway to get at some retail Cheetle. "Thats right," continued the first man. "I bet you haven't even seen the new poo poo on the streets yet. Real thick and syrupy. Chesters been calling 'em melties. Purest product possible. And we'll take you straight to the supplier's kitchen." ------------------ Kyle waited patiently as the zookeeper began unlocking the side door to the storage warehouse. He'd never liked coming to the zoo, even as a child. The animals always seemed so sad. Maybe because they knew they weren't doing much with their lives. If anyone deserved to use a bit of the product, it was these caged beasts, Kyle thought. The zookeeper soon led him into the surprisingly well lit, but ultimately ordinary, storage facility. Kyle immediately began to panic as he realized he might just catch a bullet to the back of skull with no one else around as a witness. He almost poo poo himself as there was a sudden screech when the zookeeper pushed aside a large pallet of crates to reveal a metal trapdoor built into the floor. Kyle began to regret taking that bump of ultrafine earlier. It wouldn't do to have him be this drat jumpy while negotiating a deal with a new supplier. The zookeeper quickly unlatched and pulled open the trap door, then simply stood there and stared at Kyle expectedly. A staircase led downwards, deep towards whatever fate had in store for him. As Kyle descended into the earth, he noticed the air began to grow thick. Orange dust swirled beneath the lamps that lit what he could now see was a vast cavern adorned with what seemed to be Egyptian frescoes and columns. Kyle began to choke and cough deeply at the bottom of the staircase, as the air was now incredibly thick with dust. He began to crawl forward his eyes stinging from the fine orange particulates that now invaded his mucous membranes. Even so, Kyle thought he could make out a voluptuous female figure ahead of him, reclining upon a dais. "Kyle," called a soothing voice. "Know that I know why you have come." A tanned slender hand appeared before him, holding a plate containing a small orange globular dot. Yet how that single drop shined and radiated with such joy and satisfactions! Kyle quickly scooped it up with an index finger and plunged it far into his mouth. And the instant that viscous tear touched his tongue, time and space opened to Kyle. The euphoria flowed through every cell of Kyle's being. He saw his dreams and goals achieved, a future seemingly impossible. He saw the great joys of his past, of victories won and experienced gratifications long forgotten. And then he awoke, with most of his right hand still inside his mouth. Kyle's eyes suddenly widened as he looked at the being that had provided him with such an experience. His gaze was met by great yellow piercing eyes and when Kyle finally stared upon fangs, reddened with gore, he began to shed tears in fright for he now knew the god Maftet. The ancient being directed his gaze off to the left with a point of its finger. There laying on its side was a corpulent cheetah, swollen with fat and disease, its mouth attached to a tube from which flowed liquid cheddar. The feline was wearing dark blinders so it could not see its own hideously distended form and from its rear flowed that thick liquid Kyle had just consumed, the melties. Kyle quickly tried to vomit by forcing his readily available finger down his throat, but found that his stomach would not comply. He shoved the finger ever deeper down his throat, now with even greater force, dislodging several of his front teeth in the process. His gaze returned to that of the goddess Maftet, and the room began to swirl. Celestial bodies and the great vacuum of space began to fill the cavern. Kyle began to know the pain of trillions; from punishments of this earth and elsewhere, the cries of the convicted shattering his ears and forcing his mind's eye shut. "You disregard your patrons so easily," rumbled the god of retribution. "To me, you are all Chesters" Kyle felt half of his body go numb. He reached for the megastatins in his pocket in one last desperate attempt to control his skyrocketing blood pressure. But Kyle's doom was already upon him. --------- Kyle couldn't really feel much from that side of his body, but he knew that the sun was shining down on him anyways, and that was enough. Saturdays were the highlight of his week, when his mother would wheel him around outside for extended periods of time. "This park is so nice now," said Kyle's mom. "Are you hungry? I brought along your favorite, the Xxtra Flamin Hot ones!" Kyle wasn't sure why the tears always came before eating Cheetos, but boy he sure did love how they tasted. DeadFatDuckFat fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Mar 6, 2021 |
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Mar 6, 2021 05:12
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:I don't really like cheetos very much 
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Mar 6, 2021 06:43
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I think they're pretty good, especially the spicy ones. I don't think I've had a Cheeto in years though... mmmmm...
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Mar 6, 2021 06:53
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consider: slightly stale cheese puffs are infinitely better than fresh ones
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Mar 6, 2021 11:04
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crisps/chips/whatever you call them these are the best ones
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Mar 6, 2021 11:10
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Ratjaculation posted:crisps/chips/whatever you call them MY MAN
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Mar 6, 2021 11:15
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Mar 6, 2021 11:24
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Mar 6, 2021 11:53
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Oh poo poo I just had a corner yoghurt with pretzels and other crunchy bits as the corner and poo poo do pretzels work well in corner yoghurts. Does America have corner yoghurts?
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Mar 6, 2021 12:31
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Tip posted:Made a few corrections Oh thank goodness
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Mar 6, 2021 15:09
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Jakabite posted:Oh poo poo is that a DIY frozen yogurt place? Those were gigantic in america like 10 years ago but slowly died out. I think my town went from 6 at one point to just one left now.
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Mar 6, 2021 18:21
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Aardvark! posted:is that a DIY frozen yogurt place? Those were gigantic in america like 10 years ago but slowly died out. I think my town went from 6 at one point to just one left now. Nah, it's a yoghurt that's like a big triangle with the yoghurt in then a smaller triangle with something you tip into the yoghurt in - usually some sort of coulis-like fruit mix, little biscuit balls, chocolate cornflakes (this is the best one as it goes amazingly with the banana yoghurt it comes with), or in this case a triple of pretzel bites, bits of biscuit and something else I can't remember. This is Britain so biscuit is sweet, just fyi. It's a tasty snack. COMPETITION: If anyone can guess the flavour of the one corner yoghurt i have in my fridge rn I'll toxx to make 5 posts in this thread every day for the next 30 days.
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Mar 6, 2021 20:04
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Jakabite posted:Nah, it's a yoghurt that's like a big triangle with the yoghurt in then a smaller triangle with something you tip into the yoghurt in - usually some sort of coulis-like fruit mix, little biscuit balls, chocolate cornflakes (this is the best one as it goes amazingly with the banana yoghurt it comes with), or in this case a triple of pretzel bites, bits of biscuit and something else I can't remember. This is Britain so biscuit is sweet, just fyi. It's a tasty snack. Strawberry yoghurt with strawberry jam in the corner?
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Mar 6, 2021 20:27
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Controversial opinion: pinball is boring
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Mar 6, 2021 22:14
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Tip posted:Controversial opinion: pinball is boring When I was in middle school my parents decided to buy a pinball machine. It's kinda cool having a real one at home that you can just play without coins. Computer pinball isn't the same imo. This is the one we had. Elvira and the Party Monsters.  It also helps that this one was a pretty cool machine. TWO ramps and a multi-ball launcher  They still have it in the garage whey they live now. I play it sometimes when I visit.
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Mar 6, 2021 22:21
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You would have spent less time on a pinball machine that didn't have tits.
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Mar 6, 2021 22:23
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Tip posted:You would have spent less time on a pinball machine that didn't have tits. This is quite possible. I was a middle school boy at the time, after all. However, I will say it was legitimately a pretty good machine. It felt good to play. There is something that is just fun about the slides, skull cave, the BBQ pit, and some other things that are totally lost on you if you haven't played physical pinball in an eternity. It's a feature dense and feature varied machine, both in terms of game mechanics and presentation. It's just a good design.. Also the art is just a cool Halloween theme even without Elvira. A few other people we knew had pinball machines and tbh most of them just weren't as good. Meme Poker Party fucked around with this message at 22:35 on Mar 6, 2021 |
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Mar 6, 2021 22:33
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1000 pages, amazing
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Mar 6, 2021 22:42
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I live in a town obsessed with pinball, every bar has like 10 machines and people write about it in their dating profiles. I want to like it. I've played physical pinball machines plenty, I even used to own a tiny pinball machine. It's after much study and time spent that I deliver my findings: pinball is boring. They wrap it up in cool art and flashing lights and multiple balls and high scores to distract you from one simple fact: pinball is boring. I feel the same way about the Bond films. So many people love them and they appear so similar to some of my favorite movies, but they're boring. I keep getting tricked into giving them another chance and I've now seen most of them, even the best of them were just ok. It's ok if you like pinball and James Bond, I wish I liked them.
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Mar 6, 2021 22:46
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I mean it probably is one of those things best in moderation, in that there isn't enough to it to be a "lifestyle" hobby or something. It's a cool game to play a bit, forget about for weeks/months, then play a bit again. But yeah I can't really imagine being like, really into the pinball like it were a sport or something. Writing about it dating profiles just sounds lol.
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Mar 6, 2021 22:49
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I played the hell outta 3d space cadet pinball during my high school computer class
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Mar 6, 2021 22:49
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Turdmin Sludmo of the Skankonian Dynasty
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Mar 6, 2021 22:58
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Turdmin Sludmo of the Skankonian Dynasty Nice to meet you, I'm Tip of the Pinball Valley
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Mar 6, 2021 23:00
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wow how did this thread go from space adventures with a lamia to fuckin' NERD chat?
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Mar 6, 2021 23:13
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:wow how did this thread go from space adventures with a lamia to fuckin' NERD chat? We died and Tip had the game set to Ironman mode.
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Mar 6, 2021 23:16
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| # ? May 30, 2024 15:48 |
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He probably just wants to have lamia space adventures by himself.
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Mar 6, 2021 23:26
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