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PyPy posted:my boss needed help with an excel formula today and I poo poo you not, this was his formula. I had to take a picture. bonus: his formula wasn’t working because he was pointing to the wrong cell I love this I got into an argument with someone about how excel handles order of operations and despite showing them exactly how it works and pulling up supporting documentation, they were having absolutley none of it so their formulas were still giving wrong numbers when I left.
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Mar 27, 2021 01:26
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happyhippy posted:A friend introduced Autohotkey to his company, and was promoted to executive management near instantly. Still there, hailed as a macro god. In a just world this would be the norm.
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Mar 27, 2021 01:35
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Kullik posted:So about a month ago we had to set our "personal goals" for the year. lol what in the actual gently caress? this sounds like a lovely assignment from high school
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Mar 27, 2021 07:07
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irpoweroutlet posted:lol what in the actual gently caress? this sounds like a lovely assignment from high school Yeah i really get that vibe from it, i have to like talk about how im gonna submit X amount of relevant feedback and update X number of entries in our internal wiki and do X number hours of training and stuff. i sort of get it, its because HR have no fuckin idea what my job is so they want me to write what im doing my manager to say, hes doing it and its good and then they give me my grade for the year and that determines if i get a pay rise. But also my manager could just send them a report and suggest a grade idk.
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Mar 27, 2021 07:51
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Kullik posted:So about a month ago we had to set our "personal goals" for the year. This is how my place does annual objectives too. It's step one in a vast review process that is doing something or other six months out of the year only to eject universal slightly less than inflation pay rises and no us allocation based on booked hours.
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Mar 27, 2021 10:08
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Kullik posted:Yeah i really get that vibe from it, i have to like talk about how im gonna submit X amount of relevant feedback and update X number of entries in our internal wiki and do X number hours of training and stuff. Oh! But you left out the part where your boss is going to dump all manner of random poo poo on you during the year, and even though you complete all of THAT garbage plus MOST of the goals you wrote at the beginning of the year, and EVEN THOUGH you have a weekly 1:1 cadence meeting with your boss, keeping him appraised of everything you are currently working on and he's like "oh yeah, top notch, good job being flexible with all this" he'll find one thing that you didn't do that was on your goal list and be like "I think you have a problem with prioritization so I can really only give you the average rating this year again." Of course, when you say something like "You haven't mentioned that at all this year; I said I was back-burnering it for other projects and those projects still continue" he'll say something like "Yeah, but I still expected it to get done this year, rating stands"
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Mar 27, 2021 17:07
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Covid burnout and an acquisition means we're expecting an even larger post bonus exodus than usual this year. I can't wait for the angry Glassdoor reviews that focus on single weird issues. SMELLY POO IN TOILET RECEPTIONIST REFUSES TO LEARN MY NAMEDESPITE SEEING ME ONCE A FORTNIGHT ON AND OFF FOR THREE MONTHS FISH AND CHIPS ON FRIDAYS ONLY AND NOT EVER DAY
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Mar 27, 2021 17:37
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Barudak posted:I love this isnt how excel handles order of operations the same way everyone handles order of operations ??
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Mar 27, 2021 17:47
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thathonkey posted:isnt how excel handles order of operations the same way everyone handles order of operations ?? Not the OP, but I'm not really sure . . . I just keep adding parenthesis until it does it in the order I want 
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Mar 27, 2021 18:14
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thathonkey posted:isnt how excel handles order of operations the same way everyone handles order of operations ?? Excel handles order of operations the way everyone should handle it. That's not the same as the way everyone does.
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Mar 27, 2021 18:22
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dont they teach freakin pemdas any more
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Mar 27, 2021 18:23
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I bet it'll give some hosed up stuff with exponents or weird operators people don't think about or poo poo like it goes strictly from left to right when if you wrote the same expression on paper it wouldn't mean the same thing
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Mar 27, 2021 18:23
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We had to put together review slides for a project estimate that we've been working on in various phases for over a year. One slide was supposed to be a pie chart showing the breakdown of cost increases since last estimate. Only problem, we had a mix of increases and deducts. The first directive was "show the negative numbers on the pie chart alongside the positive ones." Have you ever mixed positive and negative percentages on an excel pie chart? It'll let you do it, but it just means you have a useless chart. So we also provided a waterfall chart showing the adds and deducts and a path to the current price. "No, this will confuse them and get us into the weeds," came the direction. "Delete the waterfall, and take the negative numbers off and just show the scope growth." So now we are showing a pie chart that shows our scope grew by 750k, when in fact it is a million dollars cheaper. Whatever, I just work here...
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Mar 27, 2021 18:33
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Hokkaido Anxiety posted:We had to put together review slides for a project estimate that we've been working on in various phases for over a year. One slide was supposed to be a pie chart showing the breakdown of cost increases since last estimate. Wish I could do this to whoever made that decision: 
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Mar 27, 2021 18:40
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Can you make negative segments hollow or a 3d pie where they're shoved lower under the positive ones Not related but what's the name of the chart where it's groups of blocks, I needed that one and could never figure out how to make it work
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Mar 27, 2021 18:45
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Batterypowered7 posted:Wish I could do this to whoever made that decision: This is a mood. I thought the people in upper management were supposed to be the best and the brightest! Isn't that how they got there, after all?
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Mar 27, 2021 19:03
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Can you make negative segments hollow or a 3d pie where they're shoved lower under the positive ones A klein bottle version of a pie chart which is simultaneously positive and negative values in the same space you're meddling in forbidden pie techniques that are beyond the ken of man
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Mar 27, 2021 19:20
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Zarin posted:This is a mood. With each passing day the lie of meritocracy becomes more and more apparent.
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Mar 27, 2021 19:42
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At my work place you have to fail horribly and cost the companies thousands/millions to move up.
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Mar 27, 2021 20:17
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Could you make everything a positive interger with no direct label and then just add labels to it showing it being negative?
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Mar 27, 2021 20:45
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Full Metal Jackass posted:At my work place you have to fail horribly and cost the companies thousands/millions to move up. "failing upwards" sounds like a great joke until youve worked at a large corporation
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Mar 27, 2021 20:49
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Can you just say "gently caress it" and do what you wanted in the first place, correctly showing that it's actually going to cost less now?
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Mar 27, 2021 20:51
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Can you add both visualizations to the spreadsheet? Sell it as "another way of looking at the numbers". I dunno.
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Mar 27, 2021 21:18
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thathonkey posted:"failing upwards" sounds like a great joke until youve worked at a large corporation I had an office manager once who got promoted because he was tall. He had absolutely no other positive qualities. We'd known about him for a while because he used to manage a team in the other office and caused us a shitload of extra work through his ridiculous incompetence, then one day .... there he was. That guy we already fuckin' hated, now in charge of everyone.
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Mar 27, 2021 22:10
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I had an office manager once who got promoted because he was tall. He had absolutely no other positive qualities. Misinterpretation of "head and shoulders above the rest" strikes again.
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Mar 27, 2021 22:26
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I had an office manager once who got promoted because he was tall. He had absolutely no other positive qualities. Being tall makes it easier to suck off those above you.
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Mar 27, 2021 23:05
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Hokkaido Anxiety posted:We had to put together review slides for a project estimate that we've been working on in various phases for over a year. One slide was supposed to be a pie chart showing the breakdown of cost increases since last estimate. Your boss is trying to shift his budget, your more realistic and understandable representations get in the way of that.
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Mar 28, 2021 00:42
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Volmarias posted:Your boss is trying to shift his budget, your more realistic and understandable representations get in the way of that. If only there was a way to convey this concept A man can dream though, a man can dream
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Mar 28, 2021 01:05
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Volmarias posted:Your boss is trying to shift his budget, your more realistic and understandable representations get in the way of that. Nah, it is a construction project we are bidding. I obviously can't say much about it for NDA reasons. It's just dumbass management setting themselves up for failure presenting to executive management. I'd love to be in the room when they have to reconcile the charts showing an increase with the review books that show the opposite. I'll try to help once, but after that they can walk face first into the rakes. Batterypowered7 posted:Can you just say "gently caress it" and do what you wanted in the first place, correctly showing that it's actually going to cost less now? Do they pay me enough to care this much? (this would not be received well.) Hokkaido Anxiety fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Mar 28, 2021 |
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Mar 28, 2021 03:08
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Hokkaido Anxiety posted:Do they pay me enough to care this much? (this would not be received well.) Life goal: Financial stability and independence such that I can do something like this, dunk on every single manager in the room, and then go back to my desk and not give a single gently caress if they walk me out.
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Mar 28, 2021 03:23
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Pie charts are normally a bad idea. So many better graphing options exist.
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Mar 28, 2021 12:19
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goatface posted:Pie charts are normally a bad idea. So many better graphing options exist. I made a handy pie chart of the most popular graphing options in case anyone needs a visual aid 
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Mar 28, 2021 13:20
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The hell why aren't these %s labeled? The only Legend I refer to stars a young Tom Cruise
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Mar 28, 2021 13:21
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I had an office manager once who got promoted because he was tall. He had absolutely no other positive qualities. One of the supervisors at my last job got her position because she let the Call Center Manager bum smokes off of him and also hooked the Call Center manger up with a vape pen setup. She was one of the worst leaders I have ever seen in any job I worked at. She commanded no respect from the people she led and she almost cried every time when she had to do discipline meetings so someone in HR had to do them with lovely supervisor in the room to witness it. Thankfully she fired when she was forging signatures of employees to avoid doing any more discipline meetings. All she had to do was call someone to her desk, get them to sign a piece of paper and ask if everything is alright and if there is anything the company can do to accommodate them. I had to do it all the time at my current job when HR is out of the office as payroll. Does it become awkward to see a grown man cry about a record of absence because their wife found out they were cheating on them as they kept leaving work early 3 hours into the shift so they had called in sick to resolve their home stress issues? Sure it does but it's not as bad as she made it out to be. Give them EPA number and tell them they can talk to you at any time without judgement. Sure I get called a femboy by the dock workers because I don't shave my head or go mudding but whatever, I love my job. Edit: I just got a email from IT telling me that the headphone DAC I used for MS Teams meetings has the potential to steal data from the servers and I can't connect it to my work pc. I plugged my headset into my laptop and show them it is too unpowered to drive the most basic headset during a call with them. They now want a amazon link to my dac amp so they do some "internal testing". TacticalHoodie fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Mar 28, 2021 |
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Mar 28, 2021 18:38
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First day back at work after nearly a month of training and holiday. So far there's been a false fire alarm and I've found out the global organisation has banned the use of date stamps. This is going to add up to hours of extra writing and terrible RSI for my team. I feel this post:Batterypowered7 posted:Wish I could do this to whoever made that decision:
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Mar 29, 2021 10:09
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Marmaduke! posted:banned the use of date stamps. This is going to add up to hours of extra writing and terrible RSI for my team. Huh, this just made me realise why digital timestamps are called that.
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Mar 29, 2021 11:17
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At first I thought you mean they banned putting dates on anything which would have been weird anywhere but in the context of this thread.
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Mar 29, 2021 11:28
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Maybe next time! But yeah this is a literal ink stamp that would be used a hundred times a day by one of my staff.
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Mar 29, 2021 13:09
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The same company I mentioned earlier was mostly middle-aged women that printed out every single email and stored them in something like thirty filing cabinets around the office and warehouse.
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Mar 29, 2021 13:52
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Outrail posted:Woah. The world really is a gently caress. Actually the world is a vampire sent to draaaaaaaain.
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Mar 29, 2021 14:58
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