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Snowglobe of Doom posted:There's also the ningen which is a fairly recent ocean cryptid which is supposedly about 20 to 30 metres long and is often depicted like this:  ?
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Mar 29, 2021 15:53
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This is clearly a very lost Fresno Nightcrawler and I would absolutely love to buy the children's picture book he is from.
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Mar 29, 2021 21:34
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30 meters as long as the largest blue whales. Blue whales being he largest animal ever to exist. That thing would have to weight at least a 100 tons. I'm no kaiju biologist but I think it would be pretty difficult for something that large to walk around on just two legs
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Mar 29, 2021 21:44
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FreudianSlippers posted:30 meters as long as the largest blue whales. Blue whales being he largest animal ever to exist. That thing would have to weight at least a 100 tons. I'm no kaiju biologist but I think it would be pretty difficult for something that large to walk around on just two legs On an ice floe no less.
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Mar 29, 2021 22:00
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fresno nightcrawlers aka the sisterhood of the travelling pants
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Mar 29, 2021 22:05
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Space Cadet Omoly posted:I mean the ocean does have things like this guy in it: https://youtu.be/IPRPnQ-dUSo It looks like a tyranid. Those deep see camera videos always show crazy monster poo poo down there. Look at this video, just this giant comes out of nowhere https://youtu.be/AwndNqjMlIk?t=42 I was thinking about the books I had as a kid about monsters and mysteries and stuff and that reminded me about one of my favorite bullshit fakes ever, the Ica Stones https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJtIm4jgAFQ Basically, a guy claimed to find all these stones with things from the future and it turned out to be made by a local with a dentists drill and baked them in poop to make them look old. Thing is they're still held up as evidence of ancient aliens and civilizations. Also we're all old here, most of us grew up in the 70s or 80s, and there was a lot of monster related books specifically aimed at kids at this time. I remember having two that I looked at all the time specifically about monsters. one was a small red book i got from schoolastic and the other was this  I read them both over and over until they fell apart and i started becoming interested in tanks and planes and especially submarines. twistedmentat has a new favorite as of 23:46 on Mar 29, 2021 |
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Mar 29, 2021 23:40
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Oh man I had that one too! So much of my childhood was spent obsessively reading stuff like that despite being terrified by half the stuff in it 
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Mar 29, 2021 23:48
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There were another two books in that series:  They reprinted all three last year (with new forewords) so they should be super easy to find if anyone wants them I had this hardcover edition when I was a kid which was a collection of all three books: 
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Mar 29, 2021 23:59
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Those Usborne books absolutely set me up on the road to owning tons more occult/paranormal volumes.
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Mar 30, 2021 00:07
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EasilyConfused posted:On an ice floe no less. Maybe the ice is the actual cryptid
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Mar 30, 2021 00:51
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FreudianSlippers posted:30 meters as long as the largest blue whales. Blue whales being he largest animal ever to exist. That thing would have to weight at least a 100 tons. I'm no kaiju biologist but I think it would be pretty difficult for something that large to walk around on just two legs
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Mar 30, 2021 02:11
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Captain Hygiene posted:Oh man I had that one too! So much of my childhood was spent obsessively reading stuff like that despite being terrified by half the stuff in it Yup, I still have a book about aliens around here that had one image that scared me as a kid. I've always found Greys super creepy. Snowglobe of Doom posted:There were another two books in that series: Oh nice, I didn't have the other two, but I borrowed them from the school libraries as much as I could.
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Mar 30, 2021 04:31
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Books like that were crack to me when I was a kid. That and similar VHS tapes they had at the library back before libraries just gave up and started carrying regular movies.
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Mar 30, 2021 08:22
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I don't remember the title of it but I had a UFO book when I was a kid that included several paintings of notable encounters that really creeped me out but also one particular painting that was of special interest to a young and curious boy. It was illustrating the story of Antônio Villas Boas, a Brazilian farmer who not only claimed to have been abducted by aliens but also claimed to have had sex with one of them. He claimed that after his abduction he was stripped, slathered in some kind of gel that apparently made him horny, then the beings that abducted him left the room and another being entered. He described this alien as an incredibly attractive naked woman with platinum blonde hair but bright red underarm and pubic hair. Apparently after the act was finished she seemed relieved to have gotten it over with and gestured to her stomach and the sky, which he interpreted as meaning that she had conceived and would raise the baby in space. Apparently after they dropped him off he got all pissed off because they just used him for his sperm instead of, I don't know, taking him with them or something? I don't know what his preferred outcome would have been to be honest. Anyway, the story was illustrated with a full color two page painting that focused heavily on a full frontal illustration of the alien he slept with. When I first got the book at like 8 or 9 I always felt a little uncomfortable with that particular story and I'd often skip it when reading about aliens but I remember suddenly developing a much more keen interest around 11 or 12.
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Mar 30, 2021 18:07
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stereobreadsticks posted:Anyway, the story was illustrated with a full color two page painting that focused heavily on a full frontal illustration of the alien he slept with. When I first got the book at like 8 or 9 I always felt a little uncomfortable with that particular story and I'd often skip it when reading about aliens but I remember suddenly developing a much more keen interest around 11 or 12. Was it this painting? 
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Mar 30, 2021 18:28
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Was it this painting? That's the one. I haven't seen that picture in over 20 years. I definitely didn't remember how messed up her face was.
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Mar 30, 2021 18:35
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I was always disappointed that the "sexy" aliens were tall blonder nordics in silver bodysuits. Imagine if a flying saucer landed and Earth, Wind & Fire stepped out of it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrle0x_DHBM That's the Star Trek future I wanna live in
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Mar 30, 2021 19:08
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I was always disappointed that the "sexy" aliens were tall blonder nordics in silver bodysuits. Imagine if a flying saucer landed and Earth, Wind & Fire stepped out of it If I remember correctly, in the early UFO period, when the were still called Contactees, they have a whole story about how the Greys were evil and the Nordics were good, and they were at war. Why stories involving Greys were always terrifying while Nordics are peaceful, unsettling but without malace. I'd think the Ashtar of Space Command is the modern version of that. Gotta love how ingrained racism was in the 50s and 60s that even their bullshit madeup fantasies had to have white people as the heroes.
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Mar 30, 2021 20:38
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Was it this painting? Legit snorted when I saw that compared to my mental image, all I can think of is her wandering around being all "how do you do, fellow humans"
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Mar 30, 2021 20:42
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The dude's body language in that reads to me as him being extremely weirded out and getting ready to bolt if she gets any closer.
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Mar 30, 2021 20:45
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Imagine if a flying saucer landed and Earth, Wind & Fire stepped out of it Bold of you to assume that Earth, Wind & Fire aren't aliens that came to Earth to share funky tunes.
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Mar 30, 2021 20:47
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Kaiju Cage Match posted:Bold of you to assume that Earth, Wind & Fire aren't aliens that came to Earth to share funky tunes. Earth Wind and Fire are the human supergroup developed to combat George Clinton spiriting the funkiest away and sequestering them on his mothership
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Mar 30, 2021 20:49
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Yeah Parliament weren't weren't even being subtle about it 
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Mar 30, 2021 21:00
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stereobreadsticks posted:That's the one. I haven't seen that picture in over 20 years. I definitely didn't remember how messed up her face was.
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Mar 30, 2021 21:14
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feedmyleg posted:The dude's body language in that reads to me as him being extremely weirded out and getting ready to bolt if she gets any closer. That is apparently in-line with the dude's account. Part of his claims is that he was sexually assaulted by her and that she made loud, bestial noises. Part of what made his story seem plausible at the time was the thought of, "Why would a man make up a story where a woman raped him? It's embarassing for him if it happened!"
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Mar 30, 2021 21:25
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Really glad Fire in the Sky didn't go with the goofy "real" account the guy gave. Nobody would've remembered the movie.
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Mar 30, 2021 23:00
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I have a graphic novel called Big Book of The Unexplained, which is sort of like comics In Search Of... because it presents everything straight without any real skepticism. That's where I first heard about Boas, and it describes him being assaulted by a "Grey in drag". Its on comixology I think so if you have a sub there you should be able to find it. It's a good read, its got great artwork and some fascinating stories, but as I said, take them all with a grain of salt.
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Mar 30, 2021 23:20
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I just learned the Bigfoot suit used in the Patterson-Gimlin film had boobs. Those guys sat down and said "You know what this suit needs? Big tits." EDIT: 
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Mar 31, 2021 02:28
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On Villas Boas, obviously the sexual aspect of things gets the attention but when googling to find the dude's name I thought the reasons given by believers to defend his credibility were really interesting. At first, he was presented as a simple country bumpkin farmer, far too unsophisticated to have made something so extravagant up. Then later in his life it became apparent that he was rather upwardly mobile, even going to university and becoming a lawyer, so later accounts switched to claiming that his education made him too bourgeois and respectable to have made up such an outlandish story. On Earth, Wind & Fire and George Clinton, they're great but the real alien come to earth is Sun Ra.  Also, there was an album put out by a "real" UFO abductee named Howard Menger that he claimed to consist of music channeled to him by the aliens. You'll be disappointed to hear that it's rather dull piano music, nowhere near as bizarre and out there as the story behind it would imply.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKNAT4rItko stereobreadsticks has a new favorite as of 03:42 on Mar 31, 2021 |
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Mar 31, 2021 03:08
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That reminds me that the leader of one the UFO cults, I think its the Raeliens, was a failed musician but one of the core beliefs of the cult is that his music is actually the most popular music in the universe. Something that he well happily tell you, or let his channeled alien contact tell you. Channeling is like the lowest of the low of the paranormal grifts. You put on a silly voice and claim you're contacting the spirit of some ancient spirit that tells you some ancient knowlage, or that some crackpot belief is actually true or some other bullshit. The most famous is that Vedic Indian text that is supposed to be from like 40,000 years ago that describes the Hindu gods fighting each other in space ships. Though most things that use it as a source forgot to mention that its completely made up bullshit.
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Mar 31, 2021 08:49
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If Platypuses weren't real they would absolutely be cryptids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNoQvjlmGdk "Okay, so it's kind of like an otter, but it has a duck bill and webbed feet. Also they're venomous and they lay eggs." They sound so implausible, yet here they are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmvc0DZJM-I
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Mar 31, 2021 09:09
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Space Cadet Omoly posted:If Platypuses weren't real they would absolutely be cryptids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNoQvjlmGdk they were actually thought to be a hoax when first discovered and sent to British naturalists. a reverse cryptid!
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Mar 31, 2021 09:36
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The discussion of the platypus kind of reminded me of Thomas Jefferson's own cryptids, mastodons and giant lions/ground sloths in the American West. Jefferson was interested in fossils for a few reasons and he was particularly fascinated by the mastodon fossils discovered at the delightfully named Big Bone Lick in Kentucky. The most significant discovery attributed to Jefferson is the Jefferson's ground sloth, whose bones were discovered at a cave in West Virginia and shipped to the president, who at first believed them to be something like a lion, only 3 times larger than actual lions. It's worth noting at this point that the idea of extinction was a relatively new one at the time and Jefferson himself was not a believer. The religious objection was that God would not allow one of his creations to disappear, the secular objection was that nature was too finely balanced for any species to vanish. Which means that most people who knew about these fossil discoveries actually believed that the animals were still wandering around somewhere out west. Finding evidence that these creatures were still around was one of the primary goals of the Lewis & Clark Expedition. Incidentally, living ground sloths still occasionally pop up as cryptid stories, particularly in South America where some cryptozoologists identify the folkloric creature known as the Mapinguari as a ground sloth.
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Mar 31, 2021 10:20
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stereobreadsticks posted:It was illustrating the story of Antônio Villas Boas, a Brazilian farmer who not only claimed to have been abducted by aliens but also claimed to have had sex with one of them. He claimed that after his abduction he was stripped, slathered in some kind of gel that apparently made him horny, then the beings that abducted him left the room and another being entered. He described this alien as an incredibly attractive naked woman with platinum blonde hair but bright red underarm and pubic hair. Apparently after the act was finished she seemed relieved to have gotten it over with and gestured to her stomach and the sky, which he interpreted as meaning that she had conceived and would raise the baby in space. Apparently after they dropped him off he got all pissed off because they just used him for his sperm instead of, I don't know, taking him with them or something? I don't know what his preferred outcome would have been to be honest. Oh hey, I remember reading that story in a UFO book when I was a kid as well during my UFO phase. But in my case the illustration of his partner was a bit more simpler. But she was naked and had the red pubes as I remember it. stereobreadsticks posted:Incidentally, living ground sloths still occasionally pop up as cryptid stories, particularly in South America where some cryptozoologists identify the folkloric creature known as the Mapinguari as a ground sloth. Remember seeing an episode of Animal X about reports of seeing one of those. Complete with shoddy, far too dark, CGI animations of one emerging out of a cave or something.
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Mar 31, 2021 11:38
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Cooked Auto posted:Complete with shoddy, far too dark, CGI animations of one emerging out of a cave or something. Paleontologists discovered a whole bunch of caves and cave systems in South America that were probably dug by giant sloths. In some places you can still see their claw marks on the walls and ceilings. https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/get-lost-in-mega-tunnels-dug-by-south-american-megafauna There's caves in the Grand Canyon that still have giant piles of ground sloth turds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDCk0Uma2m4 Giant ground sloths migrated up from South America several times, they did a little better than most of the other neotropic species which got outcompeted by North American species and died off pretty quickly in comparison https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zArbQ4tWNZE stereobreadsticks posted:Incidentally, living ground sloths still occasionally pop up as cryptid stories, particularly in South America where some cryptozoologists identify the folkloric creature known as the Mapinguari as a ground sloth. Mammoths also would have still been around on the US mainland at that time and a small population managed to survive on an island off the coast of Siberia until around 1650 BC Snowglobe of Doom has a new favorite as of 13:31 on Mar 31, 2021 |
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Mar 31, 2021 13:29
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Yeah they died out super recently in paleontology terms, there were almost certainly still around when humans first came to North America. This is the most amazing thing to me. Mammoths, at least on Wrangell Island, were contemporaries with the Egyptian Middle Kingdom. That's the kind of thing that almost makes you want to give credence to some of these weird stories.
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Mar 31, 2021 17:49
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Giant lemurs also survived in Madagascar until maybe 1000 years ago and last year they found cave art which they're pretty sure depicts a giant sloth lemur. A massive gorilla-sized lemur survived up until maybe 350 BC. E: the Animal Planet show 'Extinct or Alive' went looking for giant lemurs not too long ago but didn't find any https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FW-FhcI8D8 The show actually did find some supposedly extinct animals in other episodes, such as the Zanzibar leopard, the Fernandina Island Galapagos tortoise and a few others. Most episodes end in failure but they have a couple wins under their belt which puts them WAY ahead of every other cryptid hunter reality TV show. Snowglobe of Doom has a new favorite as of 19:04 on Mar 31, 2021 |
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Mar 31, 2021 18:53
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Knormal posted:I had the same book, at the time I definitely didn't mind how messed up her face was. Hell, in that situation in TYOOL 2021, I probably wouldn't mind how messed up her face is.
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Mar 31, 2021 19:02
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I wonder if we'll get any cryptid April Fools pranks in the news today
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Apr 1, 2021 02:32
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Here's a lesser known cryptid: The silky anteater As you can see someone clearly just stuck a stuffed animal in a tree and tried to convince the internet it's a living creature.  Believe it or not some people actually bought it, as if anything that cute could really exist.  It's so obviously just a muppet, I mean how gullible would you have to be? April Fools! Silky Anteaters are real! They were real all along! Punked!
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Apr 1, 2021 03:19
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