Idiots on Social Media: I have been made to piss

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CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I wonder if that is a parody post tho

CharlestheHammer has a new favorite as of 13:05 on Apr 3, 2021

# ? Apr 3, 2021 13:03

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# ? May 28, 2024 10:31

Cleretic: Feb 3, 2010; Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

Cardiovorax posted:

You really are easily confused. I do think black Jazz is important to musical development in the 20th century and I believe the official narrative of what happened on 9/11 and during the holocaust. I am also not given to calling sixteen year old boys hot.

The offensive thing about that Tweet is that the guy clearly believes all of these statements are bad things to say.

Yeah, this is what I mean. He's just describing a normal understanding of the world, but the way he's describing it makes it very clear he's a terrible person.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 13:09

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

CharlestheHammer posted:

I wonder if that is a parody post tho

Poe's Law. There's no idea so stupid that someone somewhere on the internet doesn't earnestly believe it anyway.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 13:10

letthereberock: Sep 4, 2004

Back in the 1920s there was this trend among college students to try to cram as many people into a phone booth as possible. I think this is like the modern example of that except with terrible opinions instead of people and a tweet instead of a phone booth.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 13:30

lobsterminator: Oct 16, 2012

Katt posted:

I agree with the idiot. Expel the English from Europe and let the Irish, Scottish and Welsh repopulate England.

Also remove UK from all maps.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 15:21

Antigravitas: Dec 8, 2019; Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:

# ? Apr 3, 2021 15:26

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

What? no. He's described a category of people who:

Value black jazz AND acknowledge the holocaust AND believe in 9/11 happening

and then said that category of people are coward morons who won't admit 16 year olds are fuckable

# ? Apr 3, 2021 15:30

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

DoctorWhat posted:

Value black jazz AND acknowledge the holocaust AND believe in 9/11 happening

and then said that category of people are coward morons who won't admit 16 year olds are fuckable

Yes? That's exactly what I and Cleretic were saying, though. That describes most of the sane people in the world, so it's not an offensive statement in and of itself. The implied "they're coward morons for believing in all these things" part is.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 16:20

EasilyConfused: Nov 21, 2009; one strong toad

Cleretic posted:

Yeah, this is what I mean. He's just describing a normal understanding of the world, but the way he's describing it makes it very clear he's a terrible person.

Cardiovorax posted:

Yes? That's exactly what I and Cleretic were saying, though. That describes most of the sane people in the world, so it's not an offensive statement in and of itself. The implied "they're coward morons for believing in all these things" part is.

I was just making fun of Cleretic's wording, I didn't think they actually thought it was a good post (I don't know why Cardiovorax responded, unless it was a repost they commented on earlier).

# ? Apr 3, 2021 16:47

Stunt_enby: Feb 6, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

letthereberock posted:

Back in the 1920s there was this trend among college students to try to cram as many people into a phone booth as possible. I think this is like the modern example of that except with terrible opinions instead of people and a tweet instead of a phone booth.

laughing really hard at this for some reason

# ? Apr 3, 2021 17:13

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

A cousin of mine very upset that the MLB decided not to have the All-Star game in Atlanta because of Kemp's recent voter restrictions:

quote:

If MLB really believed Georgians are now living under �Jim Crow on steroids,� why are they only canceling 1 of the 82 MLB games scheduled to be played in Georgia in 2021? Why not cancel them all?
Question: Do fans still need to present an ID to pick up tickets at Will Call?

At least now some visitor�s life and possessions will likely be saved from the violence in Atlanta. Sorry that we actually expanded voting and made it more secure, and made it easier for voters to turn out.

Making voting more secure by criminalizing handouts of food and water to voters standing in line.

In fairness though, he does have a point about the MLB only canceling a single game. The MLB should move all games out of Georgia and tell the GOP there to kiss its rear end.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 17:25

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Cardiovorax posted:

You really are easily confused. I do think black Jazz is important to musical development in the 20th century and I believe the official narrative of what happened on 9/11 and during the holocaust. I am also not given to calling sixteen year old boys hot.

The offensive thing about that Tweet is that the guy clearly believes all of these statements are bad things to say.

This reads like you accidentally outing your parachute account

# ? Apr 3, 2021 17:49

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

Katt posted:

I agree with the idiot. Expel the English from Europe and let the Irish, Scottish and Welsh repopulate England.

Will you have some method of telling if someone is Irish, Scottish or Welsh enough to stay? What if they are 1/8th English? You could have some kind of arbitrary amount which would invalidate someone. Some many options.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:00

Katt: Nov 14, 2017

Regarde Aduck posted:

Will you have some method of telling if someone is Irish, Scottish or Welsh enough to stay? What if they are 1/8th English? You could have some kind of arbitrary amount which would invalidate someone. Some many options.

Accent test. There will be a panel of accent judges and they will vote on who gets to stay and leave.

First though is disbanding the entire English government and monarchy and banishing everyone involved.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:10

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

If you sound posh, you get shown the door. I'm down with that.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:13

IncredibleIgloo: Feb 17, 2011

Cardiovorax posted:

Yes? That's exactly what I and Cleretic were saying, though. That describes most of the sane people in the world, so it's not an offensive statement in and of itself. The implied "they're coward morons for believing in all these things" part is.

I think the disconnect is that the part about 16 year olds could be interpreted in different ways.

"and then said that category of people are coward morons who won't admit 16 year olds are fuckable"

I feel like you are taking the statement and interpreting the "morons who won't admit 16 year olds are fuckable" to read "people who do not desire to gently caress 16 year olds" and some people are taking that portion to read "People who find 16 year olds fuckable, but will not admit it for fear of the public reaction" and this is causing people to have a very different response to your posts based on how they interpret that, if that makes any sense?

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:13

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

I just wanted to clear up what I thought was an honest misunderstanding, so nevermind that, really.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:17

EL BROMANCE: Jun 10, 2006; COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬

Katt posted:

Accent test. There will be a panel of accent judges and they will vote on who gets to stay and leave.

As someone 1/2 Welsh, 1/2 Irish, but sounds English I better put some practice in.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:29

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Cardiovorax posted:

If you sound posh, you get shown the door. I'm down with that.

: ( My parents made me take lessons in talking posh because they thought it would help me get ahead in life.

It is not, oddly enough, that much help, or that endearing to your neighbours, when you live in a council house.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:30

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:

A cousin of mine very upset that the MLB decided not to have the All-Star game in Atlanta because of Kemp's recent voter restrictions:

Making voting more secure by criminalizing handouts of food and water to voters standing in line.

In fairness though, he does have a point about the MLB only canceling a single game. The MLB should move all games out of Georgia and tell the GOP there to kiss its rear end.

I don't think MLB has the power to make one of their franchises play 162 road games because of the state legislature. But they have control of the all-star game.

The much funnier accidentally left wing take is this:
https://twitter.com/RepJeffDuncan/status/1378074529076015106?s=19

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:30

BioEnchanted: Aug 9, 2011; He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

learnincurve posted:

: ( My parents made me take lessons in talking posh because they thought it would help me get ahead in life.

It is not, oddly enough, that much help, or that endearing to your neighbours, when you live in a council house.

I have a posher voice than most of my family, I can't even mimic the regional accent I'm SUPPOSED to have. I think it's because I grew up on american TV via nickelodeon and cartoon network et al, so my accent just became a hodgepodge of learned phonemes. Also whenever I tried using slang I'd get made fun of, so generally my speech patterns tend to be quite formal.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:34

rodbeard: Jul 21, 2005

Jazz is a conspiracy is old school Nazi beliefs. The thought it was a plot by Jews to somehow destroy western civilization.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:34

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

Cardiovorax posted:

If you sound posh, you get shown the door. I'm down with that.

But who will be the real arbitrator of the arbitrary standards of 'posh'?

There are large swathes of the country where having a London accent would mark you down as a bit nobby even when you actually live in a single bed apartment converted from a public bathroom under a Hoxton chicken shop, but also parts of the country where speaking like some awful Del Boy atrocity doesn't preclude you from living in a mansion next door to a premier league footballer (looking at you Essex). It's a hopeless minefield. Let's just go back to making anyone who ever voted Tory wear tweed jackets so we know who to chuck off the cliffs.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:38

gbut: Mar 28, 2008; 😤I put the UN🇺🇳 in 🎊FUN🎉

Regarde Aduck posted:

Will you have some method of telling if someone is Irish, Scottish or Welsh enough to stay? What if they are 1/8th English? You could have some kind of arbitrary amount which would invalidate someone. Some many options.

Just have them self-declare. It's not the individual people who we need to worry about, it's the genocidal culture itself that needs to be... exterminated?

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:42

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

learnincurve posted:

: ( My parents made me take lessons in talking posh because they thought it would help me get ahead in life.

It is not, oddly enough, that much help, or that endearing to your neighbours, when you live in a council house.

Start a podcast or youtube channel on literally any topic and get tons of american followers who think you must know what you're talking about

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:44

DJ Fuckboy Supreme: Feb 10, 2011; And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Gervasius posted:

Also, IOSM:

Skulk Hogan posted:

Its like the Lament Configuration of Twitter posts.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:45

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

gbut posted:

Just have them self-declare.

*snort*

# ? Apr 3, 2021 18:49

Katt: Nov 14, 2017

Fatty Crabcakes posted:

*snort*

Imagine Boris Johnson and Reese Mogg doing their best Scottish accents in front of the peoples council.

Denied. Sentence: immediate banishment to Svalbard.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:10

Chubby Henparty: Aug 13, 2007

Will it be sorted by colour? Will recent generations of immigrant be culled sooner or later in your model?

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:11

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

Anora posted:

https://twitter.com/LydiaBurrell/status/1378171628828393473

OP is not the idiot. I like that one of the options is right next to the front door, so if anyone gets in there's just a gun there for them.

... is their company named Prepcision? Because that's the perfect brand name for a new line of rapid-injection HIV prophylactics.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:15

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Katt posted:

Imagine Boris Johnson and Reese Mogg doing their best Scottish accents in front of the peoples council.

Denied. Sentence: immediate banishment to Svalbard.

Uh no thanks. The arctic maybe.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:30

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Katt posted:

Imagine Boris Johnson and Reese Mogg doing their best Scottish accents in front of the peoples council.

Denied. Sentence: immediate banishment to Svalbard.

Svalbard's cool though, they give you rifles and there's polar bears.

Banish them to Novaya Zemlya instead.

E^ damnit.

Svalbard is technically in the arctic tho.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:31

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

The UK already administrates the falklands and there are minefields for them to play in.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:37

Tenebrais: Sep 2, 2011

OwlFancier posted:

The UK already administrates the falklands and there are minefields for them to play in.

They can work maintaining the Falklands penguin reserves

# ? Apr 3, 2021 19:56

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

Henchman of Santa posted:

I don't think MLB has the power to make one of their franchises play 162 road games because of the state legislature. But they have control of the all-star game.

The much funnier accidentally left wing take is this:
https://twitter.com/RepJeffDuncan/status/1378074529076015106?s=19

"Free markets!"

"No, not like that!"

Even if the MLB is doing the right thing, though, they probably should go ahead with this. Right for the wrong reasons.

F_Shit_Fitzgerald has a new favorite as of 20:27 on Apr 3, 2021

# ? Apr 3, 2021 20:15

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

OwlFancier posted:

The UK already administrates the falklands and there are minefields for them to play in.

They ran out of mines.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-5...t%2040%20years.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 20:25

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Henchman of Santa posted:

I don't think MLB has the power to make one of their franchises play 162 road games because of the state legislature. But they have control of the all-star game.

The much funnier accidentally left wing take is this:
https://twitter.com/RepJeffDuncan/status/1378074529076015106?s=19

Oh god, if this results in the MLB losing their anti-trust exception that would be loving amazing.

Probably won't get out of committee, but bizarrely he probably has an ally in the Senate with Bernie Sanders.

# ? Apr 3, 2021 20:52