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SkyeAuroline posted:me: "Hey, I figured out this adjustment to one of our scripts that doesn't change the end result at all but runs 20x faster. This is one of our two huge bottlenecks that shuts down anyone working from home for an hour or two at a time, and fixing this removes dependence on a single workstation that's reached end of life and is audibly at the 'hardware failure' point. I sent a copy of my work off to our IT guy to review before switching anything over to use it; can we run tests on this in the testing environment to see if it processes fine, since they're swamped as gently caress and it'll take weeks or months to hear anything back?" why wouldn't you want to shut down work at home for an hour or two? that's time you're getting paid to post
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Apr 15, 2021 23:09
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I work doing mobile security, and one of the dumb things that happens is equipment decisions are made by people who have no idea what we do or what we need. A prime example is our patrol vehicles. In the mid 2000's, we had police package Chev Impalas. They were designed for what we needed, and they lasted almost 7 years. When it was time to replace them, some genius way up the food chain decided that instead of getting more law enforcement industry vehicles, we're going to get a fleet of hybrids. With all the driving we do, just think of all the fuel savings! Well, things didn't work out too well. Hybrids might be fine for a family, but they don't take too well being driven 24 hours a day. Throw in the extra electronics that we get installed (radios, spotlight, chargers), and you have a bigger drain on that battery. It didn't take long before they were breaking down mid-shift, and we were forced to partner up, because there weren't enough cars to go around. It also turns out that hybrid parts take longer to get, and cost more to replace! Who could have foreseen that? So for every few bucks we may have saved in gas, we probably spent a couple grand on repairs, and we had staff overlap on top. So after 2 years of this, they decided okay, hybrids may not have been a perfect idea... So, we'll get diesel cars! Those are durable, right? They weren't as bad as the hybrids, but we still had a ton of problems. Again, these were family cars, not work vehicles. Fast forward another 2 years, and we went back to police package vehicles. Funny enough, we've had far fewer mechanical issues. Another equipment problem was flashlights. For years, we've been using Streamlights that are small enough to fit in a pocket, but they're durable. When it was time for new lights, one of the managers a few levels up had the brilliant idea of buying these massive floodlights for us. These things were about the size and weight of a cinder block, and they came with a shoulder strap. Perfect for somebody wanting to strangle you! The manager was genuinely mystified that nobody wanted to walk around carrying these for 12 hours. After some of us explained why nobody was taking them out, the manager got all huffy about us being unappreciative of what we've been given, and maybe we should just go without replacement equipment. (One of the supervisors who actually go on the road went and bought a bunch of replacement Streamlights.)
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Apr 15, 2021 23:11
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McGavin posted:I don't put much stock in personality inventories invented by the pervert who created Wonder Woman.
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Apr 15, 2021 23:12
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Cloks posted:why wouldn't you want to shut down work at home for an hour or two? that's time you're getting paid to post For one, because I don't work from home. Two, because a coworker pointed it out and now it's held against them (via kpis) if they do shut down their WFH setup to run the process. Which of course they fell back to the aforementioned solution of "I'll just work unpaid". So it's not paid either, and they refuse to do literally anything to actually get compensated for their work and rat on every little thing others do they're aware of. So, uh... "because it isn't getting paid to post".
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Apr 15, 2021 23:16
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SkyeAuroline posted:For one, because I don't work from home. drat, sounds like a terrible job
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Apr 15, 2021 23:26
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Every other week the regional safety team has a meeting that’s completely worthless but that’s pretty normal. The problem is I’m the only night shift safety guy for my region. And the regional head guy was annoyed I wasn’t going to those meetings. So for the last few months I’ve gotten out of work at 630 and had to go back in for a virtual meeting at 10, then go back to work at 8. One day night shift won’t get hosed. One day.
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Apr 15, 2021 23:32
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The Zombie Guy posted:I work doing mobile security, and one of the dumb things that happens is equipment decisions are made by people who have no idea what we do or what we need. Yikes that is pretty bad.
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Apr 16, 2021 00:08
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goatface posted:We can ask them to start making some merch. Every podcast needs merch. My t-shirt? Yeah it's a podcast, it's pretty obscure, you probably haven't heard of it.
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Apr 16, 2021 03:10
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The Zombie Guy posted:Dumb assholes being dumb assholes and ordering dumb bullshit I feel your pain. Anyone who makes equipment orders that effect other people should probably be
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Apr 16, 2021 03:27
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i would be interested in cool tips, tricks, and hacks for always filing my T-sheets on time. Is tsheets good? I need time tracking software and because they're owned by the same people as QuickBooks it should integrate well. Also, if I hire any more people timekeeping using my stupid excel sheets it going to cost more in time than a subscription would and my bookkeeper will try to murder me.
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Apr 16, 2021 03:53
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Been catching up on the thread, and I know this has already been said more than once but people keep on sharing anecdotes that indicate they didn't listen: If someone asks/tells you do something verbally, go back to your desk, type up an email to them summarising their request as you understand it, and end with "please let me know if I misunderstood anything, otherwise I'll get on with it in (timeframe)." Make it sound positive, just checking details before doing as they ask, etc. Make it a habit and people will just expect it of you. Then, when weasels inevitably weasel, you have this clear papertrail you can pull up with a quick search term. At their first comeuppance, someone might insist that they never read your email, and that might somewhat dilute the blame, but then they have handed you excellent justification to not work on anything they mention in future until they send a confirmatory reply to your email. Which they won't, because they are weasels. Once the weasels have decided to move on to easier prey, a lot of offices become a lot more livable.
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Apr 16, 2021 05:37
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Atopian posted:Been catching up on the thread, and I know this has already been said more than once but people keep on sharing anecdotes that indicate they didn't listen: I've got some management thats prefer phone calls because they're "more personal" (ie, they never figured out how to use Outlook filters, and there's no proof they're lovely at their jobs when something is at a standstill for months). Once the directors have questions though, oh look, you found that email I sent three months ago asking simple permission to execute a group policy! Receipts, people, receipts Bad email habits: "keeping everyone in the loop" = reply all at all times to like eight different teams who are questionably adjacent to the message. I don't give a poo poo which call center employees completed their paperwork, I'm in a ceiling running HDBT lines. The second is a long FW:FW:FW:FW: SomeBuilding Project wherein the body text is an ocean of "FYI" and signatures with those "confidentiality notice" footers, and the actual content is something like "Per Paul's email, see below." Paul's email is all-lowercase "the lights are back on --PJ"
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Apr 16, 2021 07:01
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Atopian posted:Been catching up on the thread, and I know this has already been said more than once but people keep on sharing anecdotes that indicate they didn't listen: Weasels will spot this immediately and not respond and then they'll blame you for delaying work until you got a written response.
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Apr 16, 2021 19:16
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Elephant Ambush posted:Weasels will spot this immediately and not respond and then they'll blame you for delaying work until you got a written response. True masters of evil will bend reality despite a "paper trail", especially if they're at Director or higher level. Be wary.
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Apr 16, 2021 19:39
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The "yes, but the discussion we had later..." defence, based on spiritual beliefs about what they must have said at the time given what they know now. The fact the discussion never took place is just your own fault for not booking the meeting.
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Apr 16, 2021 19:53
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MrQueasy posted:True masters of evil will bend reality despite a "paper trail", especially if they're at Director or higher level. Be wary. While getting / making receipts is absolutely critical, this reality can't be ignored. Watch your asses, goons.
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Apr 16, 2021 20:32
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Here's something dumb regarding everyone's favourite topic, paid sick days! I work in a unionized environment, so I realize I'm exceptionally lucky to even HAVE paid sick days, but there's still dumb poo poo done with it. When I first started my job, full-time employees (after they finished their probationary period) were given an allotment of 15 paid sick days per year. Any that you didn't use in that year, would roll over and be added to your 15 days next year. The longer you worked without blowing through them, the bigger sick bank you'd build up. When it came time for retirement, if you had managed to accumulate at least 300 sick days in your bank, you'd get a nice little bonus, the "golden handshake". Some employees would treat the sick days as extra vacation time, and burn through all of them every year. Fine, you'll always have people who will take advantage of whatever they can, and it's hard for management to police that. So a couple years back, the company decided that they were going to scrap the banking of sick days, do away with the retirement bonus, and come up with a new system. That led to every employee having all their banked days go POOF. Some long-time employees who had socked away 400+ sick days were told "Yeah, thanks for not calling in sick for the last 28 years. By the way, all those sick days are gone now, and no golden handshake either." A lot of people were seriously pissed, and as far as I know, the union is still fighting a court case to get people paid out for the days they had banked. Lifers who felt dedication and loyalty to the job ended up getting screwed over, while the guys who used them all up every year were proven right. So we still get sick days, only not as many, and they don't roll over. Now that there's no reason to save them, sick time use has sky-rocketed. But hey, at least they aren't losing money by paying out those retirement bonuses!
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Apr 16, 2021 23:13
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The Zombie Guy posted:Lifers who felt dedication and loyalty to the job ended up getting screwed over There. Right there, your honor. ⏪ ▶️ The Zombie Guy posted:Lifers who felt dedication and loyalty to the job ended up getting screwed over I rest my case.
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Apr 16, 2021 23:20
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I work as a network guy for a retail company that is opening a new store on an extremely loving aggressive timeline, and our internet partner can’t get a circuit in the building for us in time. We need a live network by this Sunday because all the store set up people show up on Monday, so I set up one of our devices with a SIM card to at least give them something. Problem is, my coworker who I’ve bitched about here before strung me along for like two months saying he’d complete some of the tasks and they got dumped on me this week. I completed those, but with the increased workload I completely loving forgot to ship the 4g unit to the store until today. Now I’ve got like 4 different people pinging me about this and I’m just like poo poo I dropped the ball. And my car loving broke down today so I’m trying to juggle all of this and give my boss the info she is asking for without being near my laptop and praying UPS can get my package down there tomorrow. I paid for Saturday shipping and they told me it should be there tomorrow but right now the tracking says Monday. I’ve been basically catatonic and ignoring my chat messages for about an hour now and so loving stressed lol. I cover for a guy and gently caress up a very simple task of my own which will really really make me look bad. I wanna die.
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Apr 16, 2021 23:51
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The Zombie Guy posted:Here's something dumb regarding everyone's favourite topic, paid sick days! The business has to keep money to pay out those sick days when you quit, hence the "use it or lose it" policies. The Smart places will allow some rollover but cap at like 1.5x so you still want to use them, but it isn't everyone using them all in the last week of December. Taking all those banked sick days is basically stealing your payroll for that time. Sounds like you might want to get out now before more fuckery ensues and then they're bankrupt.
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Apr 17, 2021 00:10
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Annual performance review time here. HR has been really pushing SMART goals for the past year - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely. I'm still new to leading a team and have sat through hours of presentations about how to create goals for my team that meet these criteria, and just as long trying to create personal goals for my team members. Specific - here's a thorough description of what I want you to achieve by this time next year. Measurable - here's the metrics I'm going to use to determine if you're on track to achieve it. Achievable - based on your past performance and progression within the role I think you can meet this goal Realistic - yes, if I didn't think you could achieve the goal I wouldn't have set it Timely - yep, I think it's a good goal for you in your current progression and have no doubt you can achieve it within the next year Today, after countless hours being lectured about how important SMART is, I get goals set by HR to send to my team alongside all the personal goals I've assigned to each of them. Goals like "Fun is a core value at <companyname>. How have you promoted the concept of fun during a difficult year of lockdown?"
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Apr 17, 2021 00:19
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Clyde Radcliffe posted:Goals like "Fun is a core value at <companyname>. How have you promoted the concept of fun during a difficult year of lockdown?" My eyes actually rolled all the way back while my head spun spewing vomit everywhere.
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Apr 17, 2021 00:35
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Clyde Radcliffe posted:Goals like "Fun is a core value at <companyname>. How have you promoted the concept of fun during a difficult year of lockdown?" 
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Apr 17, 2021 00:42
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Christ, if I was a manager tasked with promoting "fun" I'd just give everyone extra time off. No one likes being forced in to your lovely office games. No one is thrilled about company-specific Jeopardy or whatever.
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Apr 17, 2021 00:48
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I’ve started leaving meetings that have ice breakers or showing up late
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Apr 17, 2021 00:49
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My department VP spent about 20 minutes talking about how “love” is a corporate value and trying to get people to talk about how the company has demonstrated love to them.
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Apr 17, 2021 01:13
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Tetramin posted:My department VP spent about 20 minutes talking about how “love” is a corporate value and trying to get people to talk about how the company has demonstrated love to them. well?? what did you come up with?
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Apr 17, 2021 01:21
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The Zombie Guy posted:Now that there's no reason to save them, sick time use has sky-rocketed. So loving stupid. Sick days can usually be used for health concerns so you should all collectively call in sick from the stress for a few days.
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Apr 17, 2021 01:25
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Tetramin posted:My department VP spent about 20 minutes talking about how “love” is a corporate value and trying to get people to talk about how the company has demonstrated love to them. Some sort of codependence poo poo is happening right here
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Apr 17, 2021 01:31
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Tetramin posted:My department VP spent about 20 minutes talking about how “love” is a corporate value and trying to get people to talk about how the company has demonstrated love to them. How does this even happen? If the vp I reported into said that id have a mental wellness check on them.
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Apr 17, 2021 01:35
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Clyde Radcliffe posted:Annual performance review time here. HR has been really pushing SMART goals for the past year - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely. I love these because it makes it clear that 95% of what we do is not SMART.
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Apr 17, 2021 01:44
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ben shapino posted:well?? what did you come up with? I said that putting the word love as a corporate value is cynical at best
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Apr 17, 2021 02:02
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Tetramin posted:My department VP spent about 20 minutes talking about how “love” is a corporate value and trying to get people to talk about how the company has demonstrated love to them. loving hell lol. That's some emotional abuse grooming poo poo right there.
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Apr 17, 2021 02:10
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Clyde Radcliffe posted:Goals like "Fun is a core value at <companyname>. How have you promoted the concept of fun during a difficult year of lockdown?" The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb poo poo your work does - Fun is a core value at <companyname>
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Apr 17, 2021 02:14
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If any of you know a General Motors employee, ask them if they're "Winning with Integrity" and ask them what "C2 Behavior" they've exhibited today.
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Apr 17, 2021 02:22
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Batterypowered7 posted:If any of you know a General Motors employee, ask them if they're "Winning with Integrity" and ask them what "C2 Behavior" they've exhibited today. Are you winning with integrity? Can I call you R2C2. I'm guessing c2 behavior means you're immune to traumatic spinal injuries and you stand up for what is right. In the work place, obviously Winning with integrity, i guess must just mean you're embracing your ruthless sociopath, but, for the good of the company let me know if i'm on the right path
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Apr 17, 2021 02:27
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stump collector posted:Are you winning with integrity? Can I call you R2C2. Winning with Integrity is what GM does after they got raked over the coals over the Chevy Cobalt ignition switch fiasco like eight years ago. C2 (culture 2) behaviors are positive behaviors, unlike C1 behaviors (such as blaming others for your failures).
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Apr 17, 2021 03:12
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Blue Moonlight posted:The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Dumb poo poo your work does - Fun is a core value at <companyname>
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Apr 17, 2021 03:14
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Company values are amazing entertainment. This entertainment is the best reason to work for a Fortune 500. It's like "buy raw material really cheap!" turns into "Start with the best value purchased at the right price to make the best products" at the consultant led spit balling session. By the time they reach line employees it's gone full SpongeBob i'm BEsTING tHE vAlUe PurCHAsinG
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Apr 17, 2021 04:01
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Volmarias posted:Taking all those banked sick days is basically stealing your payroll for that time. Sounds like you might want to get out now before more fuckery ensues and then they're bankrupt. Using your benefits isn't stealing.
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Apr 17, 2021 04:09
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