Autopsy-Turvey posted:

Ageless lich Jesse Helms completes phylactery - a eulogy

This week the shriveled husk of million term United States Senator and malevolent lich Jesse Helms was sealed in a bleak crypt deep beneath the sands of his native Stygia, North Carolina. Flowers placed on his grave by grieving shitheads withered and died within seconds.

Helms, known to friends and slaves alike as an unredeemed racist, was famous in the Senate for his passionate defense of segregation, opposition to the civil and voting rights acts, and his black crusade against the sun and all things which draw life from it.

As one of the first conservative talk radio hosts of the 1960’s Helms pioneered the technique of getting poor stupid whites to vote against their own interests by tricking them into hulking the gently caress out over black people, immigrants, and the betrayal of the Confederacy by jews, liberals, and the hated abstract concept of literacy. He went on to parley his repulsive backwoods celebrity with the curbstomp set into a long career in government where he played a prominent role in the unbelievably vicious and petty dixiecrat movement. His leadership resulted in a fundamental realignment of the American domestic political scene over the question of just how much we should hate niggers (”A whole lot”, contended Helms).

Long considered a strong contender for “worst person in the entire world” Helms in his declining years began to find that limited title constraining. Last summer recess he gathered together all the educated mulattos and wizened negro shaman from the swamps and dungeons of his grim feudal demesne and began a search for the blackest of black tomes, arts, and metal. That search culminated last week in his ascension to lichdom with the completion of a vile phylactery in the form of a fat lipped bejeweled bone sambo, pulsating with false life and the rhythm of hot jungle beats. His triumph over death itself coincides with a departure from this plane of existence for the astral realms, where he will spend the next thousand years pursuing recognition as the “worst person in the entire metaverse.”

Here on Earth Helms will be remembered as a southern gentleman, a family man, and the kind of guy that’ll eventually turn out to have dozens of child sized skeletons buried in his yard and whose family members when interviewed will say they thought he just liked collecting tiny shoes.

FizFashizzle posted:

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/21/us/george-floyd-verdict-police-reaction.html

Inferior Third Season posted:

Ah, an expert of the "Rock 'em, Sock 'em" school. Keep hands low and at your side between punches, don't defend at all, and flail wildly with your arms while standing perfectly still. Sooner or later, your head or the opponent's head will fly off.

FizFashizzle posted:

FizFashizzle posted:

Velocity Raptor posted:

Isn't that supposed to be an accuracy exercise? Like, his fists should be going to the targets, not the targets going to his fists.

Freakazoid_ posted:

"We live in a world that has streets," Officer Jessep said, "and those streets have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Floyd and curse the Police. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Floyd's death, while tragic, probably saved lives and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that street, you need me on that street."

zoux posted:

I don't know anything about fighting, I don't have any tips for Mr. Hannity.

bobjr posted:

I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t put out a book about how to learn fighting from him because of how good he is

Delthalaz posted:

I wonder how receptive they are to advertiser pressure anymore. There was an article about how the vast majority of their income comes from cable fees paid by cable companies rather than advertisers at this point. Can pressure be exerted in that direction somehow?

quote:

None of the unions, however, wanted DeJoy to release a long-term strategy at all. Their top priority is for Congress to pass the legislation—which DeJoy supports—that would help solve the problems with the service’s retirement fund and relieve pressure on the agency to cut costs. The unions worried that any detailed proposal, which would inevitably draw criticism from Democratic lawmakers, would upset the delicate negotiations over the bill. Bloom told me he backed the plan’s release in part because he knew it would be better than some of DeJoy’s biggest critics expected.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

He's written the foreward to one.

zoux posted:

New Atlantic article confirms The Prospect's reporting on the USPS BoG dynamics.

One thing I didn't realize is that DeJoy backs fixing what is essentially USPSs biggest problem


The article is arguing that DeJoy is actually behaving himself now that Dems are in charge, and that his goals align with Democratic board members goals, so that's where we are.

Vahakyla posted:

So is he an empty suit who obeys his masters as long as the checks clear?

zoux posted:

New Atlantic article confirms The Prospect's reporting on the USPS BoG dynamics.

One thing I didn't realize is that DeJoy backs fixing what is essentially USPSs biggest problem


The article is arguing that DeJoy is actually behaving himself now that Dems are in charge, and that his goals align with Democratic board members goals, so that's where we are.

Morrow posted:

At the end of the day the last year has shredded the reputation of USPS, so it doesn't matter what his long term plan is.

Xand_Man posted:

There's an organized attempt to contact cable companies and get them to remove Fox from basic packages so it's an opt-in extra instead.
https://unfoxmycablebox.com/

There are 2 obstacles to this approach: the first is that younger viewers are disproportionally cord-cutters, and the other is Fox will happily sic their viewership on cable providers who "cave to the radical left" and "try to stifle free speech"

Still worth doing though. Fox is a huge problem and every little bit helps.

zoux posted:

I'm a single issue guy on USPS policy and that issue is "remove the pension pre-funding requirement", after that all things are possible.

Oh also gently caress off with this junk mail but I think the budget issues would resolve that.

Discendo Vox posted:

The cap coverage from the NYT was and is a complete load of poo poo and I'm going to have to write something up about circular journalism and framing effects for the media lit thread based on it. The admin did not "backtrack", there was not a final determination on the cap, it was entirely a dishonest framing of an admin decision on a different part of the process as a final order. The NYT article started with three paragraphs with zero context or responses or sources on the determination, then the entire drat body of the article got swapped out for the angry responses to the first version. They released a false framing of the determination, then promoted the reaction to that dishonest framing, then promoted the admin reaction to that reaction.

quote:

A former Minneapolis police officer called Derek Chauvin's guilty verdict a 'tragedy,' saying he fears it will start a 'new trend' of sending cops to prison

A former Minneapolis police officer said he was surprised by Derek Chauvin's conviction. He said he believed the jury was "under tremendous pressure to 'make it right' for George Floyd."

What was a day of justice for the Black Lives Matter movement was a day of disappointment for one former Minneapolis police officer, who told Insider he was shocked by Derek Chauvin's conviction and called it a "tragedy."

The former officer spoke on the condition of anonymity, but his identity is known to Insider. He worked for the Minneapolis Police Department for nearly three decades before quitting days before Chauvin's trial began.

Insider spoke with him less than 24 hours after a jury found his former colleague guilty on murder and manslaughter charges in the May 2020 killing of George Floyd. Floyd, a Black man, died after Chauvin knelt on his neck for minutes while trying to arrest him on suspicion of passing a fake $20 bill. Floyd's death reinvigorated the Black Lives Matter movement and set off worldwide protests.

In a previous interview, the former officer said he believed Floyd died of a drug overdose because of the amount of fentanyl that was in his system, but experts testified at the trial that Floyd's death was because of a lack of oxygen caused by Chauvin's pressure on his neck.

The former officer said the jury finding Chauvin guilty on all three charges was "not at all" what he expected, and called it a "tragedy."

"The jury got it wrong, I believe. But you gotta respect their decision," the former officer said.

'I knew he was screwed'

Since the verdict was announced Tuesday afternoon, the former officer has been speaking to former coworkers, who also expressed disappointment with the trial, he said.

"They all believe that Derek didn't stand a chance at a fair trial," he said.

He added that one of the coworkers described Chauvin as a "sacrificial lamb."

The former officer said he was especially shocked at how quickly the jury deliberated — just over 10 hours — before delivering the guilty verdict.

"When they came back that quick, I knew he was screwed. I knew it," he said. "I've never seen, in all my years of work, a jury come back that quick on such serious charges. Never."

He said he felt the jury "was under tremendous pressure to 'make it right' for George Floyd."

The courthouse and surrounding area were fortified throughout the trial, and the jury was sequestered at a hotel throughout its deliberations.

A 'new trend' of sending officers to prison

The former officer said he's glad that he left policing. He said he believes the Chauvin decision could result in more officers going to jail in the future, specifically the officers involved in recent police killings in Chicago; Brooklyn Center, Minnesota; and Columbus, Ohio.

"It's the new trend now. They're sending cops to prison," he said.

The three other officers who were at the scene during Chauvin's fatal arrest — Tou Thao, Thomas Lane, and J. Alexander Kueng — are to be tried together later this year.

When asked what he would say to Chauvin and his family, if given the opportunity, the former officer said he would want them to know he's sorry.

"The whole thing is a tragedy," he said. "George Floyd dying is a tragedy for sure. What happened to Chauvin's family and his wife is horrible." (Kellie Chauvin requested a divorce last May, which was granted in February.)

"The whole thing is just sad. It's really upsetting to me," the former officer said. "It's a lose-lose deal for everybody."

Halloween Jack posted:

We complain about Bitcoin, but direct marketing by mail should also be illegal.

zoux posted:

Check again, Bitcoin is good now


https://twitter.com/jack/status/1384903902907314176?s=21

quote:

The Bitcoin Clean Energy Initiative has developed this short research paper

zoux posted:

Check again, Bitcoin is good now


https://twitter.com/jack/status/1384903902907314176?s=21

Grouchio posted:

Biden is committed towards cutting US emissions in half by 2030. As gott is mein witness.

Unkempt posted:

I have no idea what anyone sees in Andrew Yang. He's like Elon Musk without the emerald mine.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

https://www.insider.com/derek-chauvin-ex-minneapolis-officer-calls-verdict-tragedy-fears-trend-2021-4

Unkempt posted:

I have no idea what anyone sees in Andrew Yang. He's like Elon Musk without the emerald mine.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

https://www.insider.com/derek-chauvin-ex-minneapolis-officer-calls-verdict-tragedy-fears-trend-2021-4

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

What are you all on about? The post office was joked about as the place where the laziest people in america worked in the sitcoms of the 80s and 90s and as something useless and outdated on its way out in 00s and 10s powerless before the exceptional service of the private sector.. Last year people were drawing comics on twitter about postal workers as superheroes. Their rep has never been better.

CommieGIR posted:

But its not because when a coal mine in China flooded, 30% of Bitcoin's computing power disappeared....

zoux posted:

Check again, Bitcoin is good now


https://twitter.com/jack/status/1384903902907314176?s=21