Chinathread: Look at this pig'zhuge balls!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Chinathread: Look at this pig'zhuge balls!

Bum the Sad: Aug 25, 2002; Hell Gem

BrigadierSensible posted:

This leads me into a question regarding Chinese athletes.

How does the 'propaganda machine' deal with an athlete that is merely "very good" as opposed to "the greatest in the world"?

Because the CCP, and it's 5000 years of nationalist fervor does not deal with subtleties or grey areas very well.

So how does that work with athletes who win some, and lose some? Is every win a glorious occasion filled with magic and joy, and every loss a humiliating shame that brings criticism and despair? Coz that would be insanely hard on the athlete themselves, of any sport.

Because unless you are the Australian cricket team of the 90s, you can't win them all. Every team/player/athlete is going to have ups and downs, wins and losses.

So this MMA woman's knock out shouldn't be that big a deal. Sure she got kicked in the head this match, but she may well punh the next woman the faces square in the eye for a quick win and all will be well.

She�s going to have to go on a public apology tour for being bringing shame to the Celestial Empire. Then she will disappear and maybe some party member will get her liver.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 17:05

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# ? May 30, 2024 03:45

Shaman Tank Spec: Dec 26, 2003; *blep*

RocknRollaAyatollah posted:

On the buildup to the fight Namajunas was talking like Zhang was Chinese Ivan Drago and how she hates communism because she's of Lithuanian descent. Zhang from everything I've seen is just from China and isn't a raging nationalist or anything. It was pretty gross and Dana White probably pushed it because he's a terrible chud.

Urgh, I did not know that. And yeah, of course Dana White makes everything worse.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 19:37

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

That does remind me of my inherent suspicion of totalitarian athletics programs. Does PRC generally let WADA / USADA inspectors do their thing, do they have their own fantastically corrupt RUSADA equivalent, or is it easier to just drown outside inspectors in visa issues until everyone is pissing clean?

# ? Apr 26, 2021 19:47

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

The perfect Muay Thai switch kick did cause weli Zhang to flipout completely lose face and start complaining despite being knocked the gently caress out.

The unnamed country salivated.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 19:54

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Shumagorath posted:

That does remind me of my inherent suspicion of totalitarian athletics programs. Does PRC generally let WADA / USADA inspectors do their thing, do they have their own fantastically corrupt RUSADA equivalent, or is it easier to just drown outside inspectors in visa issues until everyone is pissing clean?

The PRC seems to be so bad at sports I don't think they're doing anything to game the system. If they are cheating, they're terrible at it.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 19:56

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Didn't China build a monument to a soccer win in a qualifying tournament or something?

# ? Apr 26, 2021 20:09

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

Kharnifex posted:

The perfect Muay Thai switch kick did cause weli Zhang to flipout completely lose face and start complaining despite being knocked the gently caress out.

The unnamed country salivated.

Getting KO'd and complaining about it between waking up and seeing the replay is somewhat normal, but only the rare few will then continue insisting the stoppage was early and they were about to recover and execute some master plan (or their utterly awful fanbase will do it for them). Since Zhang's words were translated for the immediate interview and my Mandarin is still garbage, I can't even say if she complained or her corner snuck that protest in at the end.

Grand Fromage posted:

The PRC seems to be so bad at sports I don't think they're doing anything to game the system. If they are cheating, they're terrible at it.

Wasn't there one Olympic games besides Beijing where the gymnastics team were all too young to compete and had their docs falsified?

# ? Apr 26, 2021 20:17

Gaius Marius: Oct 9, 2012

The chinese weightlifting team is great and lu is an icon.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 20:22

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

Head kicked in by sinophobic weapons developed by the Biden administration

# ? Apr 26, 2021 20:46

Stink Billyums: Jul 7, 2006; MAGNUM

McGavin posted:

Didn't China build a monument to a soccer win in a qualifying tournament or something?

please understand, they had been traumatized by their perpetual loses to sk

quote:

"Koreaphobia comes from the differences in ability, now that becomes much narrower. Therefore, if the mentality is enhanced, our team can overcome Koreanphobia". He also said that the association will invite psychotherapists for the PRC national football team to cope with the psychological pressure and defeatism for the future.[5]

# ? Apr 26, 2021 22:03

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Grand Fromage posted:

The PRC seems to be so bad at sports I don't think they're doing anything to game the system. If they are cheating, they're terrible at it.

I mean I saw numerous people cheating the education system in china and still doing truly horrible jobs so this isn't that far fetched imo

# ? Apr 27, 2021 01:34

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Shumagorath posted:

That does remind me of my inherent suspicion of totalitarian athletics programs. Does PRC generally let WADA / USADA inspectors do their thing, do they have their own fantastically corrupt RUSADA equivalent, or is it easier to just drown outside inspectors in visa issues until everyone is pissing clean?

A good comparison to draw is the insanely complicated and intricate ways that Russia used to swap blood samples, and evade testing during their systematic drug cheating policy etc. and the way that Sun Yang and his coach smashed a test tube with a hammer and then loudly whinged and shouted about how it wasn't fair all while harrassing the Aussie swimmer who beat him both online and in person.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 01:39

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

China needs to get gud

# ? Apr 27, 2021 01:42

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

Yeah wasnt there drama about some sleazebucket lowlife swimmer and his idiot crybaby fans that was cheating and then got caught and banned from sports?

# ? Apr 27, 2021 01:42

Ups_rail: Dec 8, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

This thread a year ago posted about how the NBA was having issues in China because it would tell sponsored program coaches to please not beat the 14 year old players.

They got such push back about how the beatings are expected and the little children would think they werent loved if they didnt get a beating.

Also they copied their athletic program from the soviets so just find a bunch of people make them do X weed out all the ones bad at it etc.

I guess what I m trying to say is that china has trouble fostering certain types of athletes for certain types of sports.

The MMA thing is weird cause the one MMA chinese dude went around beating up the fake magic dudes and got shat on pretty hard for it.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 01:44

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

He is a good man who is trying to make Chinese strong, and he got shat on for trying to get rid of snakeoil wizards

# ? Apr 27, 2021 01:48

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Mimesweeper posted:

reporting this post for racism
really thought this thread could do better

What? Is that you Cabe?

# ? Apr 27, 2021 03:36

CIGNX: May 7, 2006; You can trust me

From the GiP Current Events thread

golden bubble posted:

In more entertaining news straight out of a black mirror episode.

https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/east-asia/russian-man-trapped-on-chinese-reality-tv-show-finally-voted-out

quote:
Mr Ivanov, who speaks fluent Mandarin, originally joined the show as a Chinese teacher.
But he said he was invited to sign on as a contestant after the directors noticed his good looks.
"They asked if I would like to try a new life," Mr Ivanov said during the show.
He appeared to regret his decision almost immediately, but could not leave without breaching his contract.
Performing under the stage name Lelush, he urged the public to vote him out, saying he did not want to be among the 11 winners of the show, who are contractually obliged to form a boy band.
"Don't love me, you'll get no results," he said on one episode.
But viewers took to his dour persona and kept him in the running for nearly three months.

This is him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-FZRFEGsB4

# ? Apr 27, 2021 03:41

Dont Touch ME: Apr 1, 2018

The Great Autismo! posted:

I mean I saw numerous people cheating the education system in china and still doing truly horrible jobs so this isn't that far fetched imo

This is the fate that awaits you if you neglect cultivating guanxi, no matter what society you live in.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 03:51

Barudak: May 7, 2007

A beautiful world with beautiful places to visit

Barudak fucked around with this message at 16:11 on Jun 28, 2021

# ? Apr 27, 2021 03:56

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

hakimashou posted:

Yeah wasnt there drama about some sleazebucket lowlife swimmer and his idiot crybaby fans that was cheating and then got caught and banned from sports?

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-07-23/mack-horton-chinese-social-media-outrage-australian-sun-yang-win/11339908

there was one twitter post where a guy wrote something like HROTON is SMALL like A poo poo or something, I know it is posted here somewhere on SA but I can't find it, but it made me laugh uncontrollably

an interesting follow-up, that no one saw coming: https://au.sports.yahoo.com/chinese-fans-apologise-mack-horton-sun-yang-ban-050514101.html

The Great Autismo! fucked around with this message at 06:38 on Apr 27, 2021

# ? Apr 27, 2021 06:24

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

I forget, what's the usual thing with those kind of idol groups?

No girlfriends, no groupies, crap pay... or am I thinking in the wrong decade?

# ? Apr 27, 2021 06:31

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

Weka posted:

Mine own petard hast hoist me aloft.
Wait this isn't the medieval knights thread.

A petard was a breaching device used in assults on fortifications in the 16th and 17 centuries :eng101:

It would be either attached to a wall or door or held against it with wooden beams and then detonated, blasting a hole in the fortification for the attackers to pass through.

So, "hoist by his own petard" actually means "blown up by his own bomb".

# ? Apr 27, 2021 06:32

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Pistol_Pete posted:

A petard was a breaching device used in assults on fortifications in the 16th and 17 centuries It would be either attached to a wall or door or held against it with wooden beams and then detonated, blasting a hole in the fortification for the attackers to pass through.

So, "hoist by his own petard" actually means "blown up by his own bomb".

'Petard' is also named after a fart

# ? Apr 27, 2021 06:35

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

WarpedNaba posted:

I forget, what's the usual thing with those kind of idol groups?

No girlfriends, no groupies, crap pay... or am I thinking in the wrong decade?

It depends. I don't know much about how China works them, but Korea and Japan are still incredibly lovely with it being a toss up for who's worse.

If you're just starting out you can expect to work 18 hours a day, sometimes literally every single day for a year. You probably won't even be paid for the first year as you'll be paying the company back for training you.

Also, forcing the kids to sign multiyear contracts where they don't get poo poo is still the industry standard. Because there are literally millions more out there who'll do it.

If you manage to get solo TV appearance or, the holy grain - a commercial - you can make money. The hard part, of course, is standing out from not only the 50 other people in your group, but the 50,000 other pop groups out there. Saying the pop group market is oversaturated in Asia is an understatement.

But, if against all the odds, your group becomes popular and actually survives long enough, you can make it to the fabled contract renegotiation stage.

Then you'll have the company over a barrel because now you have the power.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 08:00

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Blistex posted:

What? Is that you Cabe?

Glad I'm not the only person who thought that.

I'm so 'Poe's Law'ed out I can no longer tell if people are being serious about poo poo like that.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 08:03

AHH F/UGH: May 25, 2002

That guy rules and it would have been hilarious if he made the final group and was forced to be in a boy band

# ? Apr 27, 2021 08:03

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

It depends. I don't know much about how China works them, but Korea and Japan are still incredibly lovely with it being a toss up for who's worse.

If you're just starting out you can expect to work 18 hours a day, sometimes literally every single day for a year. You probably won't even be paid for the first year as you'll be paying the company back for training you.

Also, forcing the kids to sign multiyear contracts where they don't get poo poo is still the industry standard. Because there are literally millions more out there who'll do it.

If you manage to get solo TV appearance or, the holy grain - a commercial - you can make money. The hard part, of course, is standing out from not only the 50 other people in your group, but the 50,000 other pop groups out there. Saying the pop group market is oversaturated in Asia is an understatement.

But, if against all the odds, your group becomes popular and actually survives long enough, you can make it to the fabled contract renegotiation stage.

Then you'll have the company over a barrel because now you have the power.

You are forgetting the worst part, (in my opinion).

Which is that after a couple of years of this back breaking work. Practicing dance moves for 16 hours a day, performing at shopping centre openings for 7 hours a day and if you are lucky they might let you sleep for the remaining hour. All while earning next to gently caress all, being hounded by the worst kinds of press, fans, and intense scrutiny on everything from what colour socks you wore on that one interview to whether your haircut is similar enough to the dude standing next to you. Living in the company compound/dorm not allowed out, unless it is to perform those dance moves you practiced on a TV show. etc. and so on and so forth.

After all of this, the company can chuck you aside at any time for any reason. And you are a hasbeen before you hit 25. Forgotten, ignored, dreams crushed, alone and insignificant. No support, no savings, no skills and the "fans" that screamed your name have forgotten you, and indeed would go "{band name X}?, ewww I can't believe I ever liked them, they are so lame."

# ? Apr 27, 2021 08:13

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

And we're also ignoring all the sexual assault in the industry.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 08:21

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

Does that still count for the male idols, though? Or are we talking them harrassing the stagehands/instructors?

# ? Apr 27, 2021 09:30

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

The female idols are pretty much prostituted out by mafias.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 09:34

Barudak: May 7, 2007

A beautiful world with beautiful places to visit

Barudak fucked around with this message at 16:11 on Jun 28, 2021

# ? Apr 27, 2021 09:36

Ups_rail: Dec 8, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Atlas Hugged posted:

And we're also ignoring all the sexual assault in the industry.

Well there is no prostitution in korea dont you know?

# ? Apr 27, 2021 09:46

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

you can't be a prostitute if you are classed as livestock, ok?

# ? Apr 27, 2021 10:17

AHH F/UGH: May 25, 2002

The Johnny�s guy in Japan famously groped and assaulted a ton of his boy band members (he�s dead now which owns)

# ? Apr 27, 2021 10:52

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Pistol_Pete posted:

A petard was a breaching device used in assults on fortifications in the 16th and 17 centuries It would be either attached to a wall or door or held against it with wooden beams and then detonated, blasting a hole in the fortification for the attackers to pass through.

So, "hoist by his own petard" actually means "blown up by his own bomb".

I know, although I never thought about the bracing. Explaining metaphors apropos of nothing would be a good gimmick for a while though, you should do that.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 10:59

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

smh that I didn't hear about this saga until now lol

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/apr/27/russian-man-trapped-chinese-reality-tv-show-voted-out-lelush-vladislav-ivanov-produce-camp

e: oh gently caress didn't see it above. aw hell. still funny.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 11:47

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Weka posted:

I know, although I never thought about the bracing. Explaining metaphors apropos of nothing would be a good gimmick for a while though, you should do that.

Hey, it involves farts, explosions, and military idiocy, why wouldn't you take any excuse to talk about it

# ? Apr 27, 2021 12:00

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

There�s that Chinese MMA fighter that famous for clowning on Kung fu masters as well as outright frauds that was basically told to cut it out by the government and hinted that he got some pretty serious heat for it, trying to remember his name.

# ? Apr 27, 2021 14:17

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# ? May 30, 2024 03:45

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

There�s that Chinese MMA fighter that famous for clowning on Kung fu masters as well as outright frauds that was basically told to cut it out by the government and hinted that he got some pretty serious heat for it, trying to remember his name.

Xu Xiaodong

# ? Apr 27, 2021 14:31

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