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Still vividly remember us laying in bed as the baby was grunting in the bassinet, both of us trying not to make a noise in the hope that this time the sleep cycles wouldn't get interrupted only for the grunting to stop and be followed by the sound of a nearly empty ketchup bottle being squeezed out HARD. How do babies fit so much poop in them? And at such high pressure?
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Apr 27, 2021 15:39
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Our son has separation anxiety turned up to 12 right now. For the past 3 or so weeks he just can't be without mom. I'll take him to the other room to feed him or play with him and that lasts 3-5 minutes before he realizes mom isn't there and then he runs screaming through the house til he finds her and then won't leave her side again. Any good resources for dealing with this? Or is this just a phase that will pass?
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Apr 27, 2021 15:41
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External Organs posted:Quoting a literal shitpost. Do it. Go with your gut, the baby's gut will follow. If you're lucky, it'll be your new morning routine, that's what happened to us. Saved so much time in wiping poo poo off of buttcheeks. L0cke17 posted:Any good resources for dealing with this? Or is this just a phase that will pass? How old? Shifty Pony posted:Still vividly remember us laying in bed as the baby was grunting in the bassinet, both of us trying not to make a noise in the hope that this time the sleep cycles wouldn't get interrupted only for the grunting to stop and be followed by the sound of a nearly empty ketchup bottle being squeezed out HARD. The two-and-a-bit-year-old's crib is in our bedroom. I wake up to a monstrously long fart, like "pbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt". Toddler: - There's a motor in my butt! Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Apr 27, 2021 |
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Apr 27, 2021 15:42
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:
11 months
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Apr 27, 2021 15:47
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L0cke17 posted:11 months We had that phase but opposite between like 9-12 months. All dad, all the time.
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Apr 27, 2021 15:48
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And it will happen again in the future, where one parent is preferred over the other for even simple stupid poo poo like getting dressed. In the moment sometimes it is hard to deal with, but it will pass. The twins hit 4 yesterday and my god where has the time gone. The first year was complete hell of course but now that they are starting to turn into (somewhat) reasonable human beings it’s pretty great!
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Apr 27, 2021 16:06
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Apparently my toddler has decided that today is the day where she no longer wants to wear a diaper and will instead use the potty. It’s been about 50/50 potty vs floor, with a loud announcement of “No pee on floor!!!” coming after every splash of urine onto the wood. This is a fantastic experience while caring for a newborn. Thank goodness her grandma is also here today.
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Apr 27, 2021 16:26
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BadSamaritan posted:Apparently my toddler has decided that today is the day where she no longer wants to wear a diaper and will instead use the potty. It’s been about 50/50 potty vs floor, with a loud announcement of “No pee on floor!!!” coming after every splash of urine onto the wood. Our potty-trained toddler is of course having 4-5 accidents a day now that his baby sister has been born recently. He was ramping up even before that.
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Apr 27, 2021 16:38
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My 5yo stepdaughter's dealing with really bad separation anxiety as well but I'm not sure how much of that is the usual stuff, stuff brought about by the pandemic, and how much of it's from her rear end in a top hat of a birth dad being a malignant narcissist. It seems to come and go throughout the day and rears its ugly head either when my wife and I are busy or she's tired. The play therapy seems to help a little but it's exhausting. Our 18 month old, meanwhile, is toddling about the house entertaining himself or pooping to ensure hus diaper rash won't go away. Just have to grit my teeth with doing the dad thing and trying to wfh until August and she goes to kindergarten. We had a nanny for the longest time but realized we were paying two more mortgages for that so now we're switching who looks after them. Maybe it's just the burn out talking but it feels like I'm slacking on doing stuff like her schooling lately in favor of letting her get more screen time. Doesn't help that her latest obsession-watch is Bluey, which not only leads to her doing a fake Aussie accent but gives unrealistic expectations of how much play time parents can give.
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Apr 27, 2021 16:41
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life is killing me posted:Our potty-trained toddler is of course having 4-5 accidents a day now that his baby sister has been born recently. He was ramping up even before that. We were trying to avoid potty training for this reason until the newborn is about 3-4mo and we have our feet more under us but lmao guess not
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Apr 27, 2021 16:45
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davebo posted:It's so drat cute when he's upset as hell then I force him to read one of the several books about saying sorry and he ends up apologizing with "howwy" Does anyone have any recommendations for books like this or other books about useful life skills (like calming down from a tantrum or asking for help or sharing) for toddlers? Our kid just turned one, and he loves books, both being read to and just flipping through them.
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Apr 27, 2021 16:46
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I've used epsom salt soaks in the tub to help with diaper rash. It seems to help clear things up faster than creams alone.
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Apr 27, 2021 16:47
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VanSandman posted:I've used epsom salt soaks in the tub to help with diaper rash. It seems to help clear things up faster than creams alone. Baking soda works great too
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Apr 27, 2021 16:56
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We'll give those a try with his next butt soak then, thanks!
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Apr 27, 2021 16:57
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BadSamaritan posted:We were trying to avoid potty training for this reason until the newborn is about 3-4mo and we have our feet more under us but lmao guess not Yeah we did it so as not to be changing two diapers and we ended up kinda halfway doing it anyhow because regression
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Apr 27, 2021 17:04
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Squats posted:Does anyone have any recommendations for books like this or other books about useful life skills (like calming down from a tantrum or asking for help or sharing) for toddlers? Our kid just turned one, and he loves books, both being read to and just flipping through them. We have Sorry, the little word that goes a long way, and Berenstain Bears say I'm Sorry. He hasn't started potty training yet but we have Sesame Street P is for Potty, and Daniel Tiger Potty Time which has audio of a toilet flushing. We also have one of those boxes of 12 mini board books called Being Kind from My Little Library. Those are short but they cover stuff like saying sorry, excuse me, thank you, sharing and being a good sport.
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Apr 27, 2021 18:47
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Well I feel like a loving failure today. After my wife’s appointment, I took my son to a “circles and shapes” class. He goes every week one day a week and it’s a 45 minute class at the rec center where they do an activity (some art project) followed by a story and some play activity. This is the second time I’ve gone and both times he refuses to listen to me. He constantly gets up out of his chair and runs and presses the water fountain or plays with toys, etc. the teacher can sometimes gain his attention but it was all out today. The teacher even said if I come back next time (my wife normally takes him but I’m trying to take him since she could pop at any second) she would offer to keep him in class with me parked close by, because maybe he won’t act out so much. That’s true and I get that-sometimes he’s on his best behavior with other people. He knows he can push my buttons and he loves to do it. Still, I loving few defeated she would even offer it. She was trying to by considerate and she said it’s worked in the past with other kids and it’s only an offer. I thanked her and said it’s rough now because he’s used to going with my wife so when he’s with me it’s like he wants to test his boundaries and I don’t get what to really instill in a 2.5 year old. Then she told me with the newborn that we( as parents) “really gotta set the boundaries” and that just pissed me off and made me feel like I wasn’t doing anything right. The other two kids in class were well behaved and would listen to their moms, though one of the kids is 3 so I’d expect him to listen better than my son. Now I’m just sitting here doubting my ability to even parent-it’s loving great. Especially knowing that I’ll have a new one around in no time at all.
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Apr 27, 2021 18:56
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That is so hard. I feel for you. We went through (and still kinda going through) a similar phase. I can only say that tomorrow is another day. Hopefully a better day than today. And also that you are not a failure. Everyone struggles. Everyone had good and bad days. It’s ok.
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Apr 27, 2021 19:58
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With the disclosure that I’m a few months behind you in toddlerhood, most of the parenting advice I’ve read would say that the problem is your class, not the toddler. Expecting a toddler to sit quietly and follow instructions is wildly unrealistic, and just because some kids are able to do so doesn’t mean yours was ready at that point in time. Take one look at ‘soccer’ or other sports classes for kids and you’ll see that they’re mostly running around doing their own thing until age 6 or 7. Are there more unstructured classes you could enroll him in?
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Apr 27, 2021 20:29
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in_cahoots posted:With the disclosure that I’m a few months behind you in toddlerhood, most of the parenting advice I’ve read would say that the problem is your class, not the toddler. Expecting a toddler to sit quietly and follow instructions is wildly unrealistic, and just because some kids are able to do so doesn’t mean yours was ready at that point in time. We do the little gym and swim class with him, but I dunno about any others. This is meant to be kind of like a pre-pre-school prep class I guess? The last time I went it was another teacher. She seemed to “get it” a bit better and just kinda would try to get the kids in order. This new teacher just kept saying how she has 3 kids and is used to corralling kids and it’s hard to do. She wasn’t trying to be strict and aim for them to stay in seats, but it’s a bit defeating when the other two kids are listening and mine isn’t. I know I shouldn’t compare but that’s always been a fault of my own.
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Apr 27, 2021 20:34
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Again, this is just my opinion. But I would think that any potential benefit of ‘pre-preschool prep’ is outweighed by having yourself and your teacher think of your toddler as difficult to control or deliberately pushing boundaries. That’s a hard dynamic to change on both your part and the kid’s part, and 2.5 is still really, really young. Most research shows that a play-based environment is best for toddlers. Some structure is fine, but if your kid isn’t ready for it then why push it? Circles and shapes and art projects will come in time.
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Apr 27, 2021 20:44
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I think it's self-selecting; I tried to get my kids to do various little classes for many years and they never wanted to participate, they always wanted to sit near me and ignore what was going on, so I stopped taking them to those sort of things.
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Apr 27, 2021 20:56
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Making any kid under 4 do things they don't want to do is just lol. Don't take it too hard. I know it sucks to feel like a failure but your not.
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Apr 27, 2021 21:48
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Alterian posted:Making any kid under 4 do things they don't want to do is just lol. Don't take it too hard. I know it sucks to feel like a failure but your not. Yeah, if the kid is alive youre doing aight and you care enough to post about lil guy. I dunno, I got a problem. Kid has always been alright. The only issue is the other adults in the room. In laws and wife are pushing me towards a remote assignment so wife can move back her ancestral homeland without shame. All the while my family still isn't sure they will ever see my son, she keeps gatekeeping out of pandemic "safety" but that can't be right because her father summoned us to a restaurant when son 2 weeks old filled with people too rich to wear masks. He got his first round vax, but contact with my family keeps getting pushed back and slow walked. I dunno. I get really scared sometimes. I also get really tired of being told I have the bad family.
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Apr 27, 2021 22:02
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Yeah my 2.5yr old is all about unstructured play. I can't imagine trying to put him in anything requiring his specific attention on a specific task, it would be touch and go at best, total fiasco at worst. That teacher sounds like sanctimonious jerk, I would simply stop going if confronted with that sanctimommy poo poo. You got enough going on without adding that to your life. Also I feel like a caveat is in order for my negativity for the infant phase, I had a pretty bad PPD experience and my husband straight up did not cope with handling an infant. From 6 months the fog started clearing - if I can get through the first year we'll be good. I find parenting my toddler, for the most part, a joy. Hes a bit of a shitlord to my husband sometimes though.
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Apr 27, 2021 22:49
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Tamarillo posted:sanctimommy TIL this word and I am happier for it KirbyKhan posted:Yeah, if the kid is alive youre doing aight and you care enough to post about lil guy. Sorry you’re dealing with that. Where do they want you to move to (I assume) WFH? What does your wife’s shame or lack thereof have to do with it? Are both sets of parents in different parts of the country or different countries from wherever you are? I guess ultimately my whole thing is, what’s good for my kid? And then what’s good for me, and then maybe everyone else. Maybe her parents are pressuring her and if wherever she’s from has a cultural norm of parental authority and respect from the adult children I wonder if that plays into it. What I mean is, why does what her parents want seem to matter more than what would be best for your kid, or for that matter, what your parents want too? life is killing me fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Apr 27, 2021 |
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Apr 27, 2021 23:22
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KirbyKhan posted:Yeah, if the kid is alive youre doing aight and you care enough to post about lil guy. Unless those parents are offering to be full time baby help (and you think you could put up with that) then IMO just tell them to pound sand if you think you can get away with saying it without causing a rift with your wife. One of the few reasons why I'll consider moving to Los Angeles is that my MIL straight up told us she'll take her Calpers pension to be a full time grandma. That, and my wife has one of those fancy jobs that can feasibly afford a house in LA if she can land a job in the area. 
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Apr 28, 2021 01:59
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I wish my parents weren’t toxic as gently caress and I could trust them alone with the baby. It’s been hard having zero help from family, but that was my choice 
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Apr 28, 2021 02:29
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It's not even parenting, it's just kid personalities. My first kid would sit quietly at 2.5 with a pair of scissors and carefully cut out shapes. My second at ALMOST FOUR would rather eat the paper, try to stab you with the scissors, then run away cackling about it. If it's not for him, don't stress yourself about it.
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Apr 28, 2021 04:45
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remigious posted:I wish my parents weren’t toxic as gently caress and I could trust them alone with the baby. It’s been hard having zero help from family, but that was my choice Similar boat here - my folks are close enough to help us out but they keep doing their own thing without respecting our boundaries, whether it was my mom trying to get me to let her in to the L&D room right after our son was born (despite us telling them we were going in as confidential due to concerns about my wife's ex husband) or them showing up at Christmas with pnuemonia just to experience it with us. My drat dad's dealing with kidney cancer and i still don't quite feel right going "yeah sure come over and see your grandkids" because they both go to mass and the like in person plus try to triangulate between me and my wife. It's all just so loving exhausting.
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Apr 28, 2021 16:53
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citybeatnik posted:Similar boat here - my folks are close enough to help us out but they keep doing their own thing without respecting our boundaries, whether it was my mom trying to get me to let her in to the L&D room right after our son was born (despite us telling them we were going in as confidential due to concerns about my wife's ex husband) or them showing up at Christmas with pnuemonia just to experience it with us. Urgh that sounds tough, sorry you are dealing with that. I guess I’m fortunate in the way that I moved to another state so it is easier to tell my parents that no, we won’t be visiting. Both of my parents are hardcore alcoholics and I love them and want them to meet their grandson, but no way in hell am I traveling with an infant back to the place I was physically and emotionally abused. They can sober up and come out here for a few days if they want to see baby...but they won’t. In other, happier news baby giggled for the first time the other day! It is truly amazing how every day he seems to try more avenues to express himself.
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Apr 28, 2021 17:07
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I legit miss the days where our son was basically a loaf of bread crossed with a baby squirrel, just laying about cooing and giggling. Also his diaper rash is looking better finally. Now to get his sister to stop being a butt.
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Apr 28, 2021 17:21
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Oh, are we doing lovely parents/in-laws? Cool cool cool. This is a big ol' vent because I have no one else to complain to. Back in the terror of the fall COVID surge, we invited my MIL to retire a couple of months early and come stay and help keep the baby out of daycare for a few months until vaccinations kick in and cases go down a bit. Normally, a weeklong visit is hard enough, but I figured if we set the ground rules up front we should be able to manage, if only for the baby's sake. The first red flag should have been when they (she and FIL) balked at doing a weeklong quarantine after flying in. Gave my husband all sorts of poo poo about "how could you, we raised you better than this," etc...We offered to put her up at a hotel by the beach with a kitchen and deliver whatever groceries. And also if she doesn't do it she can't come. Fine, she relented. Leading up to it, we had specifically said that the thing we need the most help with is the toddler in the evenings/weekends. Yes, the baby too while I work, but I can handle feedings and diaper changes and just need a couple of two hour blocks a day to focus, the rest can be intermittent so she's not doing it all alone. Well, first week here she decides that the toddler is too hard, and just keeps literally pulling the baby out of my arms. Keeps trying to make excuses for why she should give him a bottle instead of letting me feed him. Takes him out for super long stroller walks, multiple times a day. Meanwhile, we notice his flat head and ask her to limit the stroller time. Instant resistance, and tries to come up with reasons why it's ok, or how to make it ok. At first she does stick to less time, but as the weeks go on and I'm more involved at work, the walks start stretching out again. "Oh he was sleeping so well," or "he was happy so we kept going." She also rocks him to sleep for every nap, despite my telling her that I've been aiming to get him to sleep independently. I'd come downstairs and she'd be on the couch with him asleep in her arms instead of the pack n play that was specifically set up there for naps, two feet away. I've lost track of how many times I've asked her to not do that, stressed how important independent sleep is, and will be once he starts daycare where nobody will be shushing him to sleep. Nope, I'm still catching her doing it. At 2 months, doctors and nurses were falling all over themselves to tell me how good his neck and head control was. He was sleeping 6 hour stretches at night, only waking up once or twice to briefly eat. By 4 months, before the regression even hit, his sleep had gone to complete poo poo. I'm up at least 6 times a night because he just won't sleep in his bassinet anymore, despite previously being able to fall asleep in it, by himself on several occasions. I've been forced to bedshare to get any rest and I loving hate it because I know it's not the safest practice. And finally, we went to get a PT evaluation for torticollis because of the aforementioned flat head, and the PT noted that he's got a gross motor delay. From oh-so-strong to delayed, HMMM WHAT CHANGED? Was it being stuck hunched up in a stroller or bouncer all loving day?? We're in the process of getting him a helmet so both have been completely banned. Shockingly, spending a couple of weeks pretty much exclusively on the floor and tons of tummy time has done wonders! She refuses to cook. My husband first dropped hints, then straight up asked why she won't help with cooking, knowing that he works late hours and that I'm having a rough time at night, then working all day, and then also having to cook and wrangle the toddler she ignores. "I don't know how" she says. She cooked for her family for how many years? "Well, I'm a guest." No, you are loving not, you were asked to HELP not VISIT. He asked if she would mow our tiny lawn. "I've never mowed and don't intend to start now."  Baby starts daycare in three weeks and I have a bottle of champagne for celebrating her departure.  Hope she had fun wheeling her baby doll around, the rest of us will have to deal with the consequences. I miss my mom, we used to live 2 hours away from her and she'd show up on the weekends with a trunk full of food, veggies from her garden, and eggs from her chickens. She'd cook or bake for us, help tidy up, maybe stay the night, and leave. She would have gladly mowed 
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Apr 28, 2021 17:54
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Omg, that is maddening. And a sobering reminder that tummy time is super important. I’ve been slacking a bit because baby hates it.
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Apr 28, 2021 18:22
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We celebrated the last two nights because the baby went to sleep at 8:00, and then at 7:00 PM. The celebration was premature as he’s now waking up more often during the night for feeding, changing, and getting stuck on his stomach. It feels like a regression to newborn habits, maybe he’s just a lot hungrier due to a 5 month old growth spurt. He can easily roll on to his stomach and also learned how to sleep there in the last two days, but usually he gets really pissed about it and needs to be flipped like a tiny turtle. We will wake up 2-3 times a night to flip him and then you gotta watch him for 5-10 minutes as he self soothes with a pacifier and tries to flip again. We also just got him a little standing activity center (kind of like a bouncer?) and so far he’s absolutely thrilled with it. Tons of stuff to do and today he figured out the piano keys make noise. It’s also very fun to take your rattle and just bang it against the plastic as hard as possible.
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Apr 28, 2021 19:10
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5 months was definitely where our guy had some massive sleep regressions and he was waking up every 2 hours again after previously going 6-8 hours sometimes without a feed. It lasted like a month before we moved him to his own room and started sleep training to get him down to one feed per night which only took a couple days.
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Apr 28, 2021 19:24
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lovely parents! I know I've bitched before, but I don't get a lot of outlet. We live in the same state as my husband's parents, but they are alcoholics. His dad hasn't even met my almost 3 year old because they won't stay sober enough to drive the couple hours to visit. My husband downplays his childhood a little bit, but I think being a parent now he's realizing how crappy his parents were. I wouldn't say they were abusive, just super crappy. He's had a lot of instances where he'll be telling me an anecdote from his childhood and I am just horrified and sad. They live near most of my husband's other relatives and since we don't go out to visit, the other relatives are pretty "meh" on keeping contact with us. I've posted about my mom in other threads. ( https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3938820&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2#post507778432) Before I cut contact with her, it was similar to what other people have said. She lived far away so visits were a couple times a year thing thankfully. Not respecting boundaries, questioning my parenting, etc. She's a low level hoarder and would come to my house with a car load of toys she'd been buying from her goodwill store for my kids. Every week+ visit followed the same pattern of initial excitement, enthusiasm wains and needing "grandma time", fight between the two of us with my dad trying to mediate, no real resolution to fight, end of visit mom crying the whole last day sad about leaving. There was also the sprinkling of racism/homophobia/bigotry the whole time. Bright Spots: My husband's sister and her partner moved locally a year ago! They used to live 2 hours away, now they are a 15 minute drive away. We get along really well and share a lot of similar hobbies so its nice to have a family member who is a friend! If we have an absolute emergency we have her here to help. The kid's love them. They aren't having kids of their own and aren't super comfortable taking care of out toddler due to no experience, but once covid is less of a thing they'll be able to do more with our 8 year old. My dad is finally divorcing my mom! I wish he lived closer than a 12 hour drive away. He's a good dude and a good role model for my kids. We subtly named our youngest after him. It drove my mom crazy. I just wish he left my mom sooner. His new girlfriend is really nice.
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Apr 28, 2021 20:23
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Feeling really grateful for my mother in law right now, especially with these stories. So far the only issue is that she is relatively weak (had cancer a few years back, only ~100 lbs) trying to haul around a 20 lbs 5.5 month old baby. When she's not playing with our son, she's just quietly working on translating her ancient Chinese book that she took on as her last hurrah before (semi-)retiring, or reading the news.space uncle posted:
Those things are great. He can play in it and watch me while I clean the kitchen and living room, and he doesn't get bored until after I finish. 2DEG posted:
Uhh, wait, how long is too long in the stroller? I usually do 1-3 30 minute walks a day when the weather is nice. Joey Steel fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Apr 28, 2021 |
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Apr 28, 2021 20:35
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lovely parent chat: We brought our daughter home last week on Wednesday. Thursday we plan on having my dad and stepmom over to meet her, they were going to bring dinner (they offered). I text my dad Thursday early afternoon, asking if we are still on. Surprise surprise, he “hasn’t spoken to my stepmother about it” and “will have to postpone.” No apology. I mean we adapted and cooked one of the fifty or so meals we prepped beforehand and froze in the chest freezer all ready to go, but it’s the principle: don’t promise to bring dinner, then postpone but only after your son has to contact you first. If I hadn’t texted him we’d just have been wondering because he wouldn’t have said poo poo. This is of course in the full knowledge they are leaving for Florida the next Monday, so having made little effort to see their granddaughter before then my dad “forgets”. We arrange to have them come Saturday after my dad apologizes for dropping the ball. They do show up and bring lunch in. My stepmom who was so excited, only held her for five minutes. My dad held my son a lot when he was born, but declined to hold her. Ok fine, gently caress it. My mom came Friday, and held her for ten minutes. My stepdad has a broken foot so he didn’t come, that I get. Neither set of parents ever helps with poo poo around the house but my dad felt the need upon entering the house to go, “How do you live here with all these toys all over the place?” My wife could have killed him. They offered to help with zero things or hold our daughter so we could get up and do things. Okay, fine. Whatever. Neither set has really seemed too interested in their grandchildren and it’s disappointing. My dad has kept our son every other week overnight previously, then we had a big blowup with a political catalyst, and either way he’s really only interested in telling me how I should raise my son (conservatively and believing dinosaurs roamed the earth along with the Israelites), and trying to instill in him the things he believes. When I put it all together I just kinda wanna stop trying with them. My mom went from demanding a standing day each week to see our son when he was a baby (and getting shot down because it was his third week of life and no one else was getting that privilege) to not even asking if she can come over to see either of our kids ever, despite living twenty minutes away.
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Apr 28, 2021 20:40
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I have super weird issues with asking people for help because of my mom. Any time she did something "nice" for me, she would hold it up later in an argument. My husband has issues asking for help as well because his parents just never helped or supported him. It takes A LOT for us to ask his sister for help even though we intellectually know she'd be happy to help us.
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Apr 28, 2021 20:49
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