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Dimebags Brain
Feb 18, 2013





Did the pedophile show up?

EDIT: The page snipe WWE deserves.

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Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Yes

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
WrestleMania Backlash is in six days and here's the latest card

Universal title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Cesaro
WWE title: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman
Smackdown Women's title: Bianca Belair(c) vs. Bayley
Raw Women's title: Rhea Ripley(c) vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair
SmackDown tag titles: Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode(c) vs. Rey Mysterio & Dominik
Lumberjack Match: Damian Priest vs. The Miz


Two of the title matches are just Mania rematches with a third person shoehorned in. I guess Bianca/Bayley could be good?

Also this is the fourth PPV match for Rey's uncharismatic failson since he debuted at SummerSlam 2020. Mustafa Ali, Aleister Black, and Shinsuke Nakamura have had three combined PPV matches in that same timespan (not counting pre-shows).

TV Zombie
Sep 6, 2011

Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

DarkstarIV posted:

So it probably won't be mentioned in the results post that CJ2 will likely make but:

Braun mentioned right before hitting the powerslam on Bobby that he will make MVP watch as he fucks Bobby.

CJ2 is not going to make the results post due to Velveteen Dream rumored being backstage of RAW.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

WON recap page posted:

The main event between Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre ended in a DQ after Braun Strowman attacked McIntyre. Strowman laid out both men with multiple powerslams to end the show. Rhea Ripley pinned Asuka (in Asuka’s second match of the evening), and Jinder Mahal returned to defeat Jeff Hardy.

I don't think we need a full recap, that pretty much says it all

Seams
Feb 3, 2005

ROCK HARD

DarkstarIV posted:

So it probably won't be mentioned in the results post that CJ2 will likely make but:

Braun mentioned right before hitting the powerslam on Bobby that he will make MVP watch as he fucks Bobby.

https://twitter.com/WWE/status/1391951741202145281?s=20

i think he says "bust your boy"

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Oh and Sheamus probably just ended another man's career

https://twitter.com/WrestlingGary/status/1391930241057267712

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
Man that's pretty loving bad from Sheamus. I get that he doesn't wanna fall on his neck because of his condition, but like. Just say no to the spot, then?

Crapple!
Nov 1, 2019


sportsgenius86 posted:

Love how AEW knocks 30 years off the age of the business and Dream suddenly reappears

holy gently caress

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
btw, this is the second time Sheamus has been involved in a Sunset Flip Power Pomb. First time was Tommaso Ciampa and as we all know, that turned out great for everybody.

Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
My bad recap

https://www.f4wonline.com/wwe-results/wwe-raw-live-results-wrestlemania-backlash-go-home-show-340996

During the opening 6 woman tag, Alexa Bliss and Lily appear on the stage on the swing set (and somehow no one noticed). Baszler’s leg randomly gave out and Asuka got the pin. Everyone stared at Alexa at the end.
https://streamable.com/sy8og9

Riddle and New Day segment with Riddle making fun of Orton as he turns around to Orton standing there
https://streamable.com/t0okip

MVP tries to convince Braun to take out Drew.
“The Modern Day Maharajah” Jinder Mahal is back! With Veer and Shanky! He won his match agianst Jeffy Hardy
https://streamable.com/qgjizc

8-man tag team match: Riddle, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods defeated Elias & Jaxson Ryker and Raw Tag Team Champions AJ Styles & Omos
https://i.imgur.com/3z5CPGK.gifv

Sonya informs Askua and Rhea that it was suggested to her they should have a match tonight (Asuka already had a match and Charolette was on screen in Sonya's room earlier before).

Sheamus and Humberto had a match which seems to ended with a injury
https://streamable.com/h6cp14

Eve Marie vignette
https://streamable.com/2xr05v

Shelton defeated Cedric in a singles match. Cedric taunting a bit too long
https://streamable.com/28hfa3

Rhea defeated Asuka. Charolette came out half way and was really bad at commentary. I think this was their best match out of the 3?

Priest defeated Morrison and will have a match at Wrestlemania Blacklash with a Lumberjack stip

Drew and Lashley's match ended in DQ as Braun came in and attacked them. He gave powerslam after powerslam to both. And slammed Lashley through a baricade.

Digital Jedi fucked around with this message at 04:59 on May 11, 2021

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Benne posted:

Oh and Sheamus probably just ended another man's career

https://twitter.com/WrestlingGary/status/1391930241057267712

That's not really on Sheamus. Humberto doesn't land right and what else is Sheamus supposed to do? He takes the bump like he should.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

MJeff posted:

Man that's pretty loving bad from Sheamus. I get that he doesn't wanna fall on his neck because of his condition, but like. Just say no to the spot, then?

I know we all miss Hiromu but drat don't go stealing his most dangerous spot if you can't pull it off as smoothly as he does

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.
Maybe someone who's trained can tell me otherwise but that seems like a real loving dumb spot that there's no way to do safely, especially with someone as big as Sheamus.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

skaboomizzy posted:

Maybe someone who's trained can tell me otherwise but that seems like a real loving dumb spot that there's no way to do safely, especially with someone as big as Sheamus.

It's a dumb spot, yeah. If you do it, you don't do it in one motion and make sure you're underneath before going through. You also shouldn't do it in front of the announce table where you barely have any room to fall backwards.

Ganso Bomb
Oct 24, 2005

turn it all around

Eva always sounds so wooden. I'm at least a little curious as to what this gimmick ends up being. It feels laid on so thick that it can't be genuine, but who knows what this company is thinking at any given time.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

I think Humberto hosed up his left hamstring or knee. Sheamus lands on the leg full force and it straightens his leg out in an awkward way. Torn hamstring or knee ligaments. Hopefully it's a hamstring, which is easier to rehab.

You can see Humberto reach for his left hamstring/ back of his left knee instinctively when he gets up

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

Pinche Rudo posted:

I think Humberto hosed up his left hamstring or knee. Sheamus lands on the leg full force and it straightens his leg out in an awkward way. Torn hamstring or knee ligaments. Hopefully it's a hamstring, which is easier to rehab.

You can see Humberto reach for his left hamstring/ back of his left knee instinctively when he gets up

I thought it was a tailbone injury and he was grabbing his backside. :shrug:

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
with Humberto Carillo on the shelf RAW now has I think no male wrestlers under 30.

Edit: oh they still have Angel Garza who is 28, getting close!

Edit 2: oh they also debuted the paedophile to drop the average age, which probably Dream heard and enthusiastically said yes at the meeting when they said they wanted him on the roster because they needed to skew younger.

explosivo
May 23, 2004

Fueled by Satan

Ganso Bomb posted:

Eva always sounds so wooden. I'm at least a little curious as to what this gimmick ends up being. It feels laid on so thick that it can't be genuine, but who knows what this company is thinking at any given time.

I think the gimmick will end up being "Holy poo poo look at how HOT she is" and she may or may not wrestle a match.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.

DarkstarIV posted:

So it probably won't be mentioned in the results post that CJ2 will likely make but:

Braun mentioned right before hitting the powerslam on Bobby that he will make MVP watch as he fucks Bobby.

Hell, I’ll watch!

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

My dog is dying, I did my 400th funeral this year today, and this made me laugh so loud I woke my dog up. So thanks for that. Dark humor is the only humor right now :unsmith:


That feels like a huge step down for him

As someone who lost their dog on Saturday and has been holding back tears for days my heart goes out to you. Slightly on topic we named her Bayley Banks.

Molestationary Store
May 21, 2007

Haha three hours of Raw got two pages of thread.

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real

Digital Jedi posted:

My bad recap


The streamable links are nice, now I don't even need to go to Reddit and waste more time on this garbage.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

Molestationary Store posted:

Haha three hours of Raw got two pages of thread.

Must have been a busy episode

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Quantum of Phallus posted:

Must have been a busy episode

https://twitter.com/spann72/status/1391991868716580867

this was the top result i could find for this raw and i assume the whole show is just this

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

Lid posted:

https://twitter.com/spann72/status/1391991868716580867

this was the top result i could find for this raw and i assume the whole show is just this

I would be embarrassed as hell if anyone walked in on me watching this show.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Is this week three or four of “Alexa wants to start a feud with someone”

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Pretty pointless even by Raw standards.

Cedric and Shelton is good though. I am probably one of ten people on Earth who really appreciated that after his current finisher was countered by Cedric twice, Shelton busted out the T-Bone Suplex (his original finisher).

Rhea/Auska was probably the best match they had, to the point I would say it was good…before the Charlotte interruption and commercial break really killed the pacing.

Bobby vs Drew was fine but hard to get into when there was practically zero suspense about what the end of the show would be.

Cerebral Bore
Apr 21, 2010


Fun Shoe

Golden Bee posted:

Is this week three or four of “Alexa wants to start a feud with someone”

You'd think that she could use her vast magical powers to get booked for a match, but I guess not.

Shard
Jul 30, 2005

Please tell me the Kane and Undertaker stuff wasn't as lame as this in the 90s and it's just my stupid kid memories making me think it was cool

We Got Us A Bread
Jul 23, 2007

Golden Bee posted:

Is this week three or four of “Alexa wants to start a feud with someone”

Only 37 more weeks, and she'll break Aleister Black's record!

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Digital Jedi posted:

My bad recap


Thanks for this, I appreciate the effort.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

as far as i can tell from clips it seems like wwe has a couple of things they like which could be done once on tv to serve a purpose, but they keep doing those things over and over every week as the entire thing. like before wrestlemania 20, if kane kept coming to the ring so it could be moved around on hydraluic lifts and he could get freaked out, and they just did that for 2 months, then made someone else take kane or undertaker's place for 2 more months, and kept doing that in perpetuity as profits rose. don't know. might be making this up and they haven't repeated much at all but i have been reading about this alexa bliss and the current roman reigns for like a year it feels like

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.

Shard posted:

Please tell me the Kane and Undertaker stuff wasn't as lame as this in the 90s and it's just my stupid kid memories making me think it was cool

They had Percy Pringle cutting promos. They almost crucified the boss’s daughter. They introduced the inferno match and Hell in a cell, almost killing foley. There was a lot of good stuff, and they wrestled every week, because neither of them was permanently injured by Nia Jax.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

Golden Bee posted:

There was a lot of good stuff, and they wrestled every week, because neither of them was permanently injured by Nia Jax.

yet

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Lid posted:

https://twitter.com/spann72/status/1391991868716580867

this was the top result i could find for this raw and i assume the whole show is just this
It can't be overstated enough how much different Charlotte looks. It's unsettling.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

ya she has on a ton of cool eyeshadow

Lamuella
Jun 26, 2003

It's like goldy or bronzy, but made of iron.


genuinely believe that RAW would be a better show if they used a random number generator to decide who was fighting who and who was going over, and then just worked it out in the ring. And had no backstage segments.

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jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


sportsgenius86 posted:

Love how AEW knocks 30 years off the age of the business and Dream suddenly reappears
lmao

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