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Bug Squash posted:King Cobra is most overrated. Just loving grab it's tail and whip that idiot against a tree.
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May 15, 2021 16:44
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Stroop There It Is posted:THE OPHIOPHAGUS DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON. King Cobras can get up to 18 feet long, have a strike distance of 7 feet, are shockingly strong and fast, and their venom can kill you in a half hour. The reason they don't kill more people is that they aren't very aggressive toward humans (except when there are eggs to protect) and prefer to flee rather than engaging. You might kill it if you manage to get a hold of it, but does it count as winning if you die afterward? It doesn't say anything about size requirements, same with the elephant, could just fight one of those island ones that are the size of like, a big dog. Stroop There It Is posted:You might kill it if you manage to get a hold of it, but does it count as winning if you die afterward? Yes, challenge said nothing about it having to be a non pyrrhic victory, most people could probably beat most of em by jamming their arm down their windpipe, sure you'll probably lose the arm, but you'd still win 
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May 15, 2021 16:47
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Indecisive posted:oh no a goose is coming at me help it might gently tap me with its beak and flap angrily at me, how will i ever be able to fight back against this creature with an enormously long + fragile neck This is the beak that will be doing the gentle tapping:  Speaking personally, I draw the line at fighting any animal that gave HR Giger an erection.
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May 15, 2021 16:53
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Geese can break your bones with a flap of their wings, no joke.
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May 15, 2021 17:34
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Abongination posted:Geese can break your bones with a flap of their wings, no joke. Their bones are literally spongey and like 1/10 as durable as yours and could never break your bones unless you removed their bones and fired them at a human using a pneumatic cannon. They can’t do anything injurious to you except a minor pinch or scratch. If they are actively attacking you you can literally ignore them and be no worse off.
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May 15, 2021 17:38
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Abongination posted:Geese can break your bones with a flap of their wings, no joke. I've heard that, but wouldn't the application of a force that could break adult human bones also shatter all of the goose's hollow bones in its wings?
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May 15, 2021 17:38
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Ever noticed how long and weak a goose neck is? I'd just do this to it:
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May 15, 2021 17:39
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Years ago I had a summer job catching swans and geese trapped in people's gardens. A large towel is enough to subdue a large swan so you can then grab its neck and wrap your arm around their wings and body so they dont flap. They sound and flap like demons but once you get past that they are easily taken care of. Canadian geese will shut up quickly if you knee them in the chest if they fly up to you and do that half flying flap attack, but you run a big risk of getting hit in the nuts, and that does hurt A LOT. Molentik has a new favorite as of 17:51 on May 15, 2021 |
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May 15, 2021 17:48
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Geese can sense fear. You walk around looking like you'd like to show a goose who's boss, a goose isn't going to gently caress with you. Now a swan? I would run away from a swan. Mostly because they're so pretty and I would not want to hurt one.
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May 15, 2021 17:49
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mobby_6kl posted:Ever noticed how long and weak a goose neck is? I'd just do this to it: They have high HP, though, so you may need to perform the entire fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6xwMWslpzE e: didn't embed on mobile BrianBoitano has a new favorite as of 19:03 on May 15, 2021 |
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May 15, 2021 18:00
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Neddy Seagoon posted:The problem with fighting an elephant is you potentially wind up with Tony Jaa coming to kick your rear end in revenge afterwards even if you win/survive. Yeah but its hand to hadn't, he doesn't get to bring his TIE fighter.
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May 15, 2021 18:11
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Bug Squash posted:The chimp is easily the most underrated animal on that list. Having seen an alpha chimp decide another chimp was on his poo poo list, there's just no way a human is surviving. I think those 25% of men have a mental image that's a juvenile female, since those are the ones that usually get filmed on TV since they are less likely to go kill crazy if slighted. Yeah chimps (and gorillas for that matter) are absolutely swole and would wreck any adult man even without factoring in the teeth. Those things have muscles that would put a bodybuilder to shame. Humans evolved to be tall, lean, hot-weather persistence hunters whose best strategy on the savanna is to just jog after prey for miles until it collapses from exhaustion, and as a result we lost most of our muscle mass. Chimps didn't and even the ones that sit around in zoos all day are jacked compared to a human.
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May 15, 2021 18:14
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Nile delta girls make do
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May 15, 2021 18:16
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1 vs 1 against a chimp i would simply explain the superiority of bitcoin until overwhelming ennui drove it to self mutilate. i would then suffocate the miserable wretch within the many folds of my superior corpulence
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May 15, 2021 18:25
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Sucrose posted:Yeah chimps (and gorillas for that matter) are absolutely swole and would wreck any adult man even without factoring in the teeth. That may be true for most people but not me. I would stun them with a quick array of karate chops and kicks and finish them off with the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.
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May 15, 2021 18:28
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Chimps are much stronger than humans on a pound-for-pound basis. Chimps are a lot smaller than us, though, so the actual strength difference isn't that big. They're still insanely vicious and will use their teeth to gently caress you up. Gorillas are also much stronger than humans on a pound-for-pound basis, but they're also much larger than us. Don't gently caress with a gorilla.
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May 15, 2021 18:30
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Going to the village social with one of these tucked into your pants, back hunched over from the pain but so worth it
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May 15, 2021 19:04
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Abongination posted:Geese can break your bones with a flap of their wings, no joke. No actually they can't.
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May 15, 2021 19:12
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https://i.imgur.com/1xaIrQ6.mp4 Tangentially, Zoo Nebraska is a good (nonfiction) book about a primate preserve in the middle of Nebraska, of all places, run by a guy who was going to work with Dian Fossey before her murder. Heads up: if you like chimpanzees you will understand but not like the way the story ends.
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May 15, 2021 19:17
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Sucrose posted:Yeah chimps (and gorillas for that matter) are absolutely swole and would wreck any adult man even without factoring in the teeth. Those things have muscles that would put a bodybuilder to shame. Humans evolved to be tall, lean, hot-weather persistence hunters whose best strategy on the savanna is to just jog after prey for miles until it collapses from exhaustion, and as a result we lost most of our muscle mass. Chimps didn't and even the ones that sit around in zoos all day are jacked compared to a human. Oh has the existence of persistence hunting been proven now?
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May 15, 2021 23:00
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3D Megadoodoo posted:Oh has the existence of persistence hunting been proven now?  There are modern people that do persistence hunting.
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May 15, 2021 23:12
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3D Megadoodoo posted:Oh has the existence of persistence hunting been proven now? ...yes? Multiple modern cultures in multiple global locations use it on a daily basis, we have records of other cultures using it, and it's a perfectly reasonable extrapolation to prehistoric cultures. Is this you being stupid and uninformed on purpose, or is Google blocked where you are?
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May 15, 2021 23:15
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https://twitter.com/gubbwerks/status/1393268837852893185?s=21 The surprising thing is it actually is a model cucumber.
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May 15, 2021 23:32
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Weirdly, for some reason I'd thought cucumbers were native to North America. It turns out I'd been thinking of "wild cucumber", which is a set of plants that superficially resemble cucumber during their non-fruiting periods. Today I learned!
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May 15, 2021 23:42
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SneezeOfTheDecade posted:...yes? Multiple modern cultures in multiple global locations use it on a daily basis, we have records of other cultures using it, and it's a perfectly reasonable extrapolation to prehistoric cultures. Is this you being stupid and uninformed on purpose, or is Google blocked where you are?
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May 15, 2021 23:46
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I like that Egyptian gods could be placated with the bronze age equivalent of a Fisher Price kitchen playset. Probably don't want to offer it to Bast or Sekhmet, though.
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May 15, 2021 23:47
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Bug Squash posted:King Cobra is most overrated. Just loving grab it's tail and whip that idiot against a tree. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIMigVo1pyA
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May 15, 2021 23:59
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Daktar posted:I like that Egyptian gods could be placated with the bronze age equivalent of a Fisher Price kitchen playset. Probably don't want to offer it to Bast or Sekhmet, though. Could be a funerary offering to the dead, though. As in, food for the dead to eat in the afterlife.
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May 15, 2021 23:59
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Eat poo poo and die
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May 16, 2021 00:06
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Jesus Christ
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May 16, 2021 00:11
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Daktar posted:I like that Egyptian gods could be placated with the bronze age equivalent of a Fisher Price kitchen playset. Probably don't want to offer it to Bast or Sekhmet, though. Bastet just needs a crinkled up piece of paper or a cardboard box or some grass to chew up and barf in an unused corner
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May 16, 2021 00:12
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They would have gone nuts for those plastic pizza slices that velcro together
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May 16, 2021 00:13
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That scene at the end where they are all standind up giving him the stinkeye from the other side of the pit is fuckin hilarious
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May 16, 2021 00:16
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I don’t care what they are paying this guy it isn’t enough 
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May 16, 2021 00:16
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SneezeOfTheDecade posted:...yes? Multiple modern cultures in multiple global locations use it on a daily basis, we have records of other cultures using it, and it's a perfectly reasonable extrapolation to prehistoric cultures. Is this you being stupid and uninformed on purpose, or is Google blocked where you are? The first hit on Google is "Does persistence hunting exist? Probably not and here's why" so 
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May 16, 2021 00:21
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onesixtwo posted:I don’t care what they are paying this guy it isn’t enough I think they milk these regularly.
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May 16, 2021 00:22
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Beachcomber posted:I think they milk these regularly. You mean he does it. He milks them regularly.
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May 16, 2021 00:30
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3D Megadoodoo posted:The first hit on Google is "Does persistence hunting exist? Probably not and here's why" so I can't find that even if I paste that exact thing into an incognito window. What the gently caress have you been googling?
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May 16, 2021 00:37
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SneezeOfTheDecade posted:I can't find that even if I paste that exact thing into an incognito window. What the gently caress have you been googling? Try in Finnish maybe.
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May 16, 2021 00:41
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3D Megadoodoo posted:The first hit on Google is "Does persistence hunting exist? Probably not and here's why" so I'm assuming it's this opinion piece that end's with this amazing logic, at least that's what comes up for me, no idea what finnish google would give quote:Back in 1980, two Welsh men were sitting in the Neuadd Arms Hotel pub in Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales, arguing about who was faster over long distances, man or horse. Before the dispute came to blows or bitterness, they decided to settle the question with an actual race, one of 22 miles. The race was such a spectacle that it has become an annual event, each year attracting hundreds of humans and dozens of horses.
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May 16, 2021 00:44
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