Fools Infinite posted:

Gats Akimbo posted:

In the End by Carmeliza:

Quid posted:

It's not a picture exactly but I think I saw it as one. I remember an old post or series of words about Flash being the best super hero. I remember something about him punching you in the past before you realize it or something. I think something about throwing you down the stairs if you try to fight. With the advent of the super hero movies I am unable to find it on google. Any ideas?

quote:

The Motherfucking Flash

Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his rear end. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.

Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fu master of not much, but instead he's the hottest poo poo to ever poo poo on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of gently caress you batman. That's Batman.

But the loving Flash, my god, my loving GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that loving hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.

Ok first off, he can travel at light speed. Mother gently caress! Not only does he travel at light speed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he's having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he's already gotten to Arizona. That's loving fast. But wait! The ability to move at Light Speed just isn't loving enough!

I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you've been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you're about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he's beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there's more!

The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain't no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at light speed would run into poo poo but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, fucker) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be "okay" afterwards or loving EXPLODE. That's right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transferring kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. It's bad enough you can't hit this guy, but he doesn't even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you're thinking you're about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He's the loving Flash.

Now imagine that somehow there's someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it's going slow and then he's like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it's going at light speed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.

But wait! There's more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don't even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let's say Flash is fighting Superman and poo poo he's going to lose and gently caress how is Superman THIS loving strong? I don't know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.

How do you beat this dude? You're thinking you're hashing him good, laying down the beat-down, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn't fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! gently caress you Flash!

Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn't fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You'd think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at light speed but NOOOO he's even good in bed.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak grease fire.

trapped mouse posted:

Here it is, not sure of the original source but I found the text:

trapped mouse posted:

Here it is, not sure of the original source but I found the text:

Tac Dibar posted:

I'm looking for a short video of a guy who plays a flute while wearing a hat at a jaunty angle. All the other musicians in his band are blown away and make funny faces. It might have been a tiktok?

Carthag Tuek posted:

Might not be danish, we say "es". It doesn't sound much like "rear end" to me.

Nebrilos posted:

Thinking on it, it might have been Mario Golf and not tennis. But I'm not good with languages, so I can't say what language it was.

I'm looking of an old video of a guy declaring that Michael Jordan is the Illuminati or something.He gets really into it: Michael=fallen angel, Jordan=the place were a pagan god in the shape of a bull was worshipped (Chicago Bulls). Ball=Ba'al etc. It just keeps going.

Memento posted:

Does someone have the single-page comic (possibly Achewood?) where it's a diagram of someone's body and all the ways in which it is falling apart due to age? I remember one about the character's nose dripping for like half an hour every morning, regardless of them not being sick.

Lunchboxx posted:

I don't remember if I saw this as a gif or a video, but I think it is a talk show where they have a dude who is possibly a health expert or similar, and they're talking about how being overweight isn't healthy and junk. A woman starts talking or refuting what dude was saying, basically amounting to "I am healthy despite these health risks because I feel good and you shouldn't shame me" or whatever, and dude has a Steve Harvey style reaction face to the BS she is spewing.

Anyone know what I'm talking about or have a link to this? It's pretty dang hard to search for (or I'm retarded (totally possible)).

Olympic Mathlete posted:

^^^ this one?

Guy starts speaking about 4.45 in:

A SPIDER BABY posted:

I would like to second this request. I actually found this post by Googling a bunch of things that would make me incredibly ashamed if anyone found out. If I'm remembering correctly, there's a regular version where the girl is laying on a motorcycle, and then a photoshopped one where the girl is Peggy Hill and it's being reflected into Dale's shades.

no pubes yet sorry posted:

I am looking for a pic that used to get posted pretty often in FYAD - it is a colorful drawing of a guys face and he is wearing mirrored sunglasses (he might be on a motorcycle or something) and in the mirror on the glasses there is a woman with a penis. It is a pretty funny image and NWS.

A SPIDER BABY posted:

I would like to second this request. I actually found this post by Googling a bunch of things that would make me incredibly ashamed if anyone found out. If I'm remembering correctly, there's a regular version where the girl is laying on a motorcycle, and then a photoshopped one where the girl is Peggy Hill and it's being reflected into Dale's shades.

Chill Callahan posted:

This

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3938359&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3938359&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Mr. Crow posted:

Anybody have the comic where some guy is yelling at white supremacists or something and goes "why do you have no chin?"

Gats Akimbo posted:

Preacher:

Leal posted:

Looking for a meme image from the mid aughts, it was in 4 frames from top to bottom. Top frame would have a guy holding something in his hand and he asks "Hey, would you like this?". Second frame is someone answering no. Third frame is the first person crushing the item in their hand. Fourth frame is a close up of their face.

Polka_Rapper posted:

That sounds like Card Crusher. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/card-crusher

Nebrilos posted:

I once saw a short black and white comic about an angry skull. It was so angry that it flew into a hole in wall labelled something like "anger hole" or "screaming hole" and just started screaming into the hole. Has anyone seen this comic?

Nebrilos posted:

I once saw a short black and white comic about an angry skull. It was so angry that it flew into a hole in wall labelled something like "anger hole" or "screaming hole" and just started screaming into the hole. Has anyone seen this comic?

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Sorry, I only have this colour comic