PYF The Onion story

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF The Onion story

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

I guess there's a reason everyone I met in the Netherlands just speak English like it's their first language. That, and all the British tourists that land on their shores every weekend.

# ? May 21, 2021 00:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 11, 2024 17:06

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1395397915800129541?s=20

# ? May 21, 2021 02:50

AtraMorS: Feb 29, 2004; If at the end of a war story you feel that some tiny bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie

The MSJ posted:

I guess there's a reason everyone I met in the Netherlands just speak English like it's their first language. That, and all the British tourists that land on their shores every weekend.

If I remember my English language history, English and Dutch are ridiculously closely related. Again iirc, in part of the Netherlands they speak Frisian, which is even closer to English, and it's possible to construct modern sentences that are identical in pronunciation and meaning in both Frisian and English.

# ? May 21, 2021 03:31

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

AtraMorS posted:

If I remember my English language history, English and Dutch are ridiculously closely related. Again iirc, in part of the Netherlands they speak Frisian, which is even closer to English, and it's possible to construct modern sentences that are identical in pronunciation and meaning in both Frisian and English.

Dutch and English share a lot of words, but not enough to make them understandable to a non-speaker in an average sentence. Plus the grammar is backwards (more German I guess).

# ? May 21, 2021 15:48

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Here's a snippet of Dutch that I picked up on Twitter:

quote:

Wanneer we ooit geconfronteerd worden met een salsapandemie, ga ik met veel plezier luisteren naar wat jij als dansleraar te zeggen hebt. Echter, op dit moment geef ik geen flying gently caress om wat jij uitkraamt, en Nederland zou dat best ook niet doen.

And the translation:

quote:

If we are ever faced with a salsa pandemic, I will be happy to listen to what you as a dance teacher have to say. However, right now I don't give a flying gently caress about what you spout, and the Netherlands wouldn't do that either.

# ? May 21, 2021 15:59

Arbite: Nov 4, 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeC1yAaWG34&t=1s

And also:

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1395770163740520451

# ? May 21, 2021 17:20

AtraMorS: Feb 29, 2004; If at the end of a war story you feel that some tiny bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie

jojoinnit posted:

Dutch and English share a lot of words, but not enough to make them understandable to a non-speaker in an average sentence. Plus the grammar is backwards (more German I guess).

ultrafilter posted:

Here's a snippet of Dutch that I picked up on Twitter:

And the translation:

I'm just saying that those kinds of sentences are possible, not that the languages are mutually intelligible or that you'll see it a lot out in the wild. After a millennia or whatever of language drift, it's not for nothing to see some of that overlap persisting no matter how forced. Common example (that I probably should've included to begin with):

English: "Butter, bread, and green cheese is good English and good Frise"

Frisian: "B�ter, brea, en griene tsiis is goed Ingelsk en goed Frysk."

The written spelling looks very different to an English speaker, and I probably overstepped by saying the pronunciation was identical (it's very close but not an exact match), but it's still clear even without pronunciation or a translating dictionary that those are the same sentence. The only halting point is "tsiis" until you remember that English spellings use a T with CH sounds all the time ("catch," "pitch," etc.), just not usually at the beginning of words. Of course, it's also a forced sentence that no one uses outside of this exact context, and an American accent is going to make those sentences sound farther apart.

Edit: anyway, this is the Onion thread. New Initiative Helps Young Girls Gain Confidence By Teaching Them To Melt Human Beings With Sonic Mind Blasts

# ? May 21, 2021 18:24

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

if you speak german & english, dutch/flemish are super weird because you basically understand 90% of the words correctly when you read them, but it takes quite a while to understand more than 20% of the words when hearing them spoken

this is a pretty good primer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WnMcyt3IG8

# ? May 21, 2021 18:31

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/1395405202593746948

# ? May 24, 2021 14:40

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1396911408617558019

# ? May 25, 2021 18:17

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

AtraMorS posted:

If I remember my English language history, English and Dutch are ridiculously closely related. Again iirc, in part of the Netherlands they speak Frisian, which is even closer to English, and it's possible to construct modern sentences that are identical in pronunciation and meaning in both Frisian and English.

AtraMorS posted:

If I remember my English language history, English and Dutch are ridiculously closely related. Again iirc, in part of the Netherlands they speak Frisian, which is even closer to English, and it's possible to construct modern sentences that are identical in pronunciation and meaning in both Frisian and English.

Back in the before times, when we were allowed to do things like "Have cons" or "Pack 150 loving nerds together in the same room", I ran a panel of cartoon openers from around the world. and that was a pretty standard inclusion. It sounds just enough like english that if you didn't know either, you could convince yourself it was.

# ? May 26, 2021 15:12

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ? May 30, 2021 15:44

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

# ? May 30, 2021 20:04

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/theonion/status/588771872365510656?lang=en

# ? Jun 2, 2021 18:56

RillAkBea: Oct 11, 2008

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/theonion/status/588771872365510656?lang=en

It really is a shame that the RSC concept never took off.
https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/pictures/2001-toyota-rsc-concept/

# ? Jun 3, 2021 02:32

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1401939563044642822

# ? Jun 7, 2021 20:38

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1402286320714764291

# ? Jun 8, 2021 16:37

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1402683183192231937

# ? Jun 9, 2021 19:53

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Man Credits Great Kissing Skills To Growing Up With Lots Of Sisters

# ? Jun 14, 2021 17:00

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee

Too soon?

# ? Jun 25, 2021 18:40

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Eh.

# ? Jun 25, 2021 19:41

Ragnar34: Oct 10, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

https://www.theonion.com/first-transgender-athlete-to-compete-in-olympics-1847160526

The Onion is the one only news source I trust to have an unproblematic take on this.

# ? Jun 25, 2021 21:31

One Nut Wonder: Mar 17, 2009

It's never too soon.

https://www.theonion.com/hijackers-surprised-to-find-selves-in-hell-1819566162

# ? Jun 25, 2021 21:32

Dr Christmas: Apr 24, 2010; Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻

Ragnar34 posted:

https://www.theonion.com/first-transgender-athlete-to-compete-in-olympics-1847160526

The Onion is the one only news source I trust to have an unproblematic take on this.

Ooo, a rare instance of a portrait outside of their rotating stock photos!

# ? Jun 25, 2021 21:49