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Jim lets a large owl loose in the office and keeps saying "Sorry, Dwight asked me to bring it in!"
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May 25, 2021 21:15
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 00:17 |
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Jim tricks Dwight into reading aloud from the Necronomicon. Deadite Jim mugs the camera, then devours the cameraman.
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May 25, 2021 21:40
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during a sales pitch at the scranton high physics lab jim tricks dwight into wandering between two high powered particle lasers during a physics experiment, transforming him into a being of light and sound that no longer experiences time linearly. its june 4th, 1997 and a young dwight meets michael scott for the first time its winter, april, 2031 and dwight holds angela as she dies its november 11th, 2003 and dwight throws jello across the office but despite the fragmented nature of dwight's reality, there is a constant, shared across time and space: jim, mugging in the background, endlessly
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May 25, 2021 21:41
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Owlspiracy posted:during a sales pitch at the scranton high physics lab jim tricks dwight into wandering between two high powered particle lasers during a physics experiment, transforming him into a being of light and sound that no longer experiences time linearly.
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May 25, 2021 21:46
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Jim and Dwight are unhappy draftees to the Party Planning Committee. But they come up with an idea for the Fourth of July Musical Bash. Jim has Dwight write down each co-worker's favorite song: Pam loves "Another One Bites the Dust," Oscar is a fan of "Shoot to Thrill", and of course Creed's favorite is "16 Shells From A Thirty-Ought-Six" by Tom Waits. Jim later brings Dwight's list to Toby and pretends to be fearful that he found an active shooter plan.
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May 25, 2021 23:01
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Jim lures Angela's affections away from Dwight by starting a BDSM cult with Robert California. In the cult, Pam, Angela, Meredith, Erin, Nellie, Phyllis, Kelly, Ryan, and Oscar become collared and branded slaves to Robert in the style of "The Story of O", signing contracts which imply their consent to even the most depraved of Robert's sexual appetites. After months of training, Jim is isolated by the cult, leaving Robert as the master of the compound. Jim smirks at the camera and calls that girl he dated back in the day who looked like Amy Adams. Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 23:39 on May 25, 2021 |
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May 25, 2021 23:11
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Gatto Grigio posted:Jim lures Angela's affections away from Dwight by starting a BDSM cult with Robert California. In the cult, Pam, Angela, Meredith, Erin, Nellie, Phyllis, Kelly, Ryan, and Oscar become collared and branded slaves to Robert in the style of "The Story of O", signing contracts which imply their consent to even the most depraved of Robert's sexual appetites. But not Kevin???
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May 25, 2021 23:42
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Defiance Industries posted:But not Kevin??? Oh yeah, I forgot. Kevin would make a good piss pig.
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May 25, 2021 23:43
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poisonpill posted:Jim and Dwight are unhappy draftees to the Party Planning Committee. But they come up with an idea for the Fourth of July Musical Bash. Jim has Dwight write down each co-worker's favorite song: Pam loves "Another One Bites the Dust," Oscar is a fan of "Shoot to Thrill", and of course Creed's favorite is "16 Shells From A Thirty-Ought-Six" by Tom Waits. Jim later brings Dwight's list to Toby and pretends to be fearful that he found an active shooter plan. The cosmic horror is great but my favorites are always the ones just a shade darker than what might actually happen on the show.
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May 26, 2021 00:17
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jim doses dwight with laxatives before an important client meeting and embarrassingly shits his pants, ruining a potential sale
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May 26, 2021 01:13
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Jim fills a donut with crab puree and tells Dwight that it's a delicious Boston cream longjohn. Jim and Pam share a knowing look and a giggle as Dwight takes a bite. Dwight's face scrunches in revulsion but he chokes it down regardless. "Jim that was disgusting, what was it really?" says Dwight as he looks around for a trash can to throw the rest of the donut away. "You don't want to finish it? You know it's very shellfish to waste food." Retorts Jim as Pam giggles again. "No Jim," Dwight says, his face growing flushed, "you're the one who wasted it when- wait what did you say?" "I'm just saying your being really... shellfish." Dwight suddenly grabbed Jim by the shoulders and stared, his face red now. "Jim wat waff inf tho-" Dwight's slurred words are interrupted by hacking coughs. "Dwight are you-" Jim starts to ask before Dwight collapses onto the floor, clawing at his rapidly swelling throat and lips as he fights for every breath of air he can. Pam screams and Oscar is already dialing 911. The camera zooms in on a mortified Jim, who makes brief eye contact with the crew and makes a cut motion under his chin and shakes his head.
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May 26, 2021 02:01
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Applewhite posted:The cosmic horror is great but my favorites are always the ones just a shade darker than what might actually happen on the show. Same. But my favorite is when a few mundanes ones are followed up by Dwight being turned into a sentient cactus or whatever
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May 26, 2021 02:03
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Cut to Creed in the interview room. "This is exactly why I always carry 10 ounces of epinephrine on me at all times." He holds up a small mason jar filled with an unknown liquid.
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May 26, 2021 02:06
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The entire office visits New York for a contrived reason and Jim surreptitiously pushes Dwight in front of a subway train, killing him instantly
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May 26, 2021 02:17
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poisonpill posted:Same. But my favorite is when a few mundanes ones are followed up by Dwight being turned into a sentient cactus or whatever Jim transforms Dwight into a sentient cactus. Angela loves him more than ever, but her touch is forever barred to him by his prickly exterior.
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May 26, 2021 03:18
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TheIncredulousHulk posted:The entire office visits New York for a contrived reason and Jim surreptitiously pushes Dwight in front of a subway train, killing him instantly After accidentally playing a sex tape of him and Jan instead of a training film, Michael feels bad and takes the staff shopping in NYC.
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May 26, 2021 03:19
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Dwight gets an email from Jim with an attached file. Double clicking it starts a film clip of a camera low to the floor. Visible are Jim's bare feet which are astride of a jar with Dwight's bobblehead inside.
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May 26, 2021 03:20
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David Wallace calls an "all hands" meeting of Dunder Mifflin executives and managers at corporate to discuss the recent slump in sales - misinterpreting the message, Michael brings the entire office staff instead of showing up by himself.
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May 26, 2021 03:22
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Dwight buys a skateboard and after days of practice, he's finally confident enough in his riding to try out the local skate park. Jim shows up and totally shreds all kinds of cool skateboard tricks, thoroughly humiliating the beginner Dwight. Dwight's confidence is shattered and he dejectedly gives up on what might have been a fulfilling hobby.
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May 26, 2021 03:22
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Jim rubs the enchanted ruby in his pocket. It glows an ethereal red. Jim smirks as he taps Dwight on the shoulder, instantly reversing his skin and turning his bone marrow into grape kool-aid.
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May 26, 2021 03:52
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Dwight is focused on completing his expense report when to his right he hears Jim yelling. "KAAAAA" "Jim stop it" "MAAAAAAAY" "Jim please stop I'm trying to concentrate" "HAAAAAAAH" "Jim this isn't fu" "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY" Dwight shouts in terror and dives under his desk. Jim mugs the camera. A manga is seen on his desk among scattered documents.
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May 26, 2021 03:55
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Jim does a backflip, causing Dwight to be impaled by his own Goblin Glider
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May 26, 2021 04:00
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Dwight is in the break room when a severe earthquake hits Scranton and the force of it twists the door frames, trapping him inside. The shockwave also busts a water pipe in the ceiling which starts quickly flooding the room. Everyone looks on in horror as Dwight helplessly claws at the window, the water already up to his knees. Suddenly there's a loud "POOF!" and standing before Jim is Mr. Mxyzptlk. "Oho, Jim! I grant you the ability to add or subtract a letter from anyone's first name and that person will become the new name. Good luck saving your friend!" And he pops away out of existence. Jim stands there with a confused look trying to make sense of what he just heard. "Jim!" Yells Dwight, the water up to his chest, "Take the 'D' out of my name and I'll become a 'wight' which being undead means I won't drown!" Jim's face lights up, finally understanding his ability. Slowly his head rotates towards the camera and a smirk spreads across his mouth. Dwight with his face pressed against the ceiling gurgles "What are you waiting for!?!" "Jism" he whispers
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May 26, 2021 04:02
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Jim showed up at work dressed like a stereotypical yokel farmer, complete with half buttoned overalls, a straw hat, and chewing a stalk of wheat. “Ah-hyuk Ah’m a farmer!” He shouts randomly, “Who here knows them best big city fertilizers?” Dwight rolls his eyes, but his obsession with beet farming wins out, and he is compelled to spend the next hour explaining soil quality to Jim.
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May 26, 2021 04:09
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TheIncredulousHulk posted:Jim does a backflip, causing Dwight to be impaled by his own Goblin Glider
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May 26, 2021 04:18
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jim does whatever the gently caress this is https://i.imgur.com/s7ZELAo.mp4
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May 26, 2021 11:37
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Jim stands up on his chair and says "Everybody, the floor is officially lava!" Dwight is busy in the conference room and doesn't hear everybody playing the game. When he steps out onto the main sales floor his body erupts into flame and he's slowly burnt to death.
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May 26, 2021 12:45
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Jim keeps flicking paper footballs into Dwight’s desk until Dwight snaps and stands up. “Jim, I really hope your childish pranks are sufficient to distract you from the fact that you’re the fourth best salesman at a failing branch of a declining paper manufacturer who has no daily ambition except for letching over the engaged secretary. “ The entire office is stunned. This takedown came out of nowhere. Worse, it’s all true; and everyone in the entire office heard it and knows it. There is a moment of sudden stillness. Then Jim errands up and silently scurries to the bathroom. For about an hour he stays in there alone, the sounds of sobbing faintly heard.
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May 26, 2021 12:56
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Dwight receives an offer to work at a competing paper company. He looks around the office for guidance. Jim is snickering to himself while Pam stares vacantly at him. Michael is asleep at his desk. Kevin has forgotten how to breath again and Stanley and Oscar are trying to teach him. Meredith is having sex with a Domino's delivery guy in the middle of the floor and nobody cares. Creed is throwing a knife at the wall over and over again. Angela, as much as Dwight loves her, is just as annoying - she's currently painting cat whiskers on every photograph in the office. Dwight decides that he's outgrown this place. Over the last few years it's changed, and not for the better. He takes the offer, puts in his two weeks notice, and shortly begins working as a salesman at Prattle-Dawning Paper Inc. He's introduced to a salesman who sits across from him - Tom Falthon. Dwight discretely checks to ensure it's not Jim in a mask, or a large puppet commanded by Jim, or a guy wearing an earpiece so he can talk to Jim, or Jim possessing another person, or a Jim from another dimension where the letter J and I don't exist so you use T and O instead. Everything seems fine and Dwight sits down to work, happy for the first time in a long time. As he walks to his car after the first day, Tom and a few other coworkers invite Dwight out for a drink at Poor Richard's. He goes, eager to make friends. When they get there he realizes that Jim and Pam are also at the bar. Pam is incredibly drunk, to the point that she can barely hold her head up. Jim is lifting random things over his head and saying "Look how strong I am, Pam! Was Roy this strong?" and then punching the table when Pam barely slurs out a drunken "Yes". Tom catches Dwight watching them and simply says "What a bunch of losers, huh?" Dwight agrees and realizes how small his world used to be. Was this really the person who made his life so difficult? This tiny, boring, insignificant man? Dwight and his new friends have a wonderful night and Dwight doesn't even notice when Pam and Jim leave the bar. Dwight goes home with a huge smile on his face, knowing for a fact that he made the right decision in his career. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. No more looking for Jim in the beet field, no more Phantom Jims floating around the attic, no more toilets full of Jim Eggs. Dwight wakes up and drives to Prattle-Dawning, only to find that nothing's there. Did he take a wrong turn? Suddenly his cell phone starts buzzing. Michael is calling him, demanding to know why he's so late for work. Dwight explains that he quit, he works at Prattle-Dawning now. Michael says that's a really good joke, but he needs to come back to work right now. Extremely confused, Dwight drives to Dunder Mifflin. He looks through his emails and realizes, with dawning horror, that he's never been in contact with anyone from Prattle-Dawning and that that company doesn't even exist. He looks through security footage and sees himself at his desk at Dunder Mifflin yesterday, going through the motions, although he remembers none of this. Jim slaps his hand on Dwight's shoulder and smiles smugly at him. "Oh, you daydreaming there, Dwightster? Maybe about another job?" Dwight opens up Excel to work on a spreadsheet, already realizing that he will never be able to leave. Kevin is gnawing on a desk, claiming it's made of chocolate. Meredith is getting gangbanged in the annex. Toby just stares at her silently. Michael is wearing a clown outfit for no reason at all. Andy crashes a sailboat into the side of the building. Jim looks at the camera and smiles.
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May 26, 2021 13:50
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Jim replaces Dwight's computer mouse with a mousetrap. Unfortunately for him, Dwight spent the entire weekend memorizing all known keyboard shortcuts in order to increase his workflow efficiency and has no need for a mouse.
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May 26, 2021 13:55
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Jim insists that Saturday Night Live is "really funny now, probably the best ever" and gets Dwight to watch it. Dwight feels a mix of embarrassment and anger at having wasted a portion of his Saturday night. Jim then emails everyone the skit with Elon Musk as Wario, with the subject line "LOL Super Funny S&L Sketch Last night - WARIO!!!"
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May 26, 2021 14:03
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poisonpill posted:Jim keeps flicking paper footballs into Dwight’s desk until Dwight snaps and stands up. The next day Stanley's desk was vacant. No problem, Dwight thought to himself, he's probably out on a sales call. But the day after, his desk remained empty. Dwight began to worry. This was unlike Stanley. He was a slacker but never absent. Concerned, he picked up the phone, dialed the Scanton non-emergency number and requested a wellness check. As he cradled his phone into the receiver, he caught Jim's eye. Dwight was unnerved. With a look of sadistic glee, Jim whispered "third best salesman"
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May 26, 2021 15:13
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The real tragedy is Dwight just signed Stanley’s death warrant by sending the police to do a wellness check on a Black man.
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May 26, 2021 15:36
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Don't you see? That was the real prank, the whole time! :jimface:
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May 26, 2021 15:43
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Jim calls the cops on Dwight, claiming that he's growing marijuana on his farm. Living in Pennsylvania, this is illegal and the Scranton Police department burns down the entire farm, ties Dwight up with zip ties, and then shoots him in the back of the head. When Angela tries to find out what happened, they claim Dwight had a meth lab that blew up and he had a heart attack afterwards. When she asks to see the body camera footage they say that she can't, then burn down her house in retaliation. Jim starts wearing a "Back the Blue" pin to work.
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May 26, 2021 16:28
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Dwight starts streaming video games on Twitch, quickly becoming a beloved figure due to his quick wit and love of his fans. His next challenge will be to get 100% in a game, and the fans can pick it. A user with the name "Philly_Jim_69Nice" begs him to play Donkey Kong 64, then donates $50,000 to charity as an incentive. Dwight is compelled to do this, even though he's heard horror stories about the game's length and repetitive nature. Three weeks later, Dwight has lost most of his fanbase as the game has begun to wear on his psyche and good nature. His entire life is beginning to fall apart due to the combination of boredom and anger caused by backtracking the same levels dozens of times to get every banana, even though they could have just made the bananas one loving color and any Kong could collect them. Dwight's streams are just long periods of silence, punctuated by a random "gently caress this" or "oh, now I need the loving trombone for this?" He tells Philly_Jim_69Nice that he cannot finish the game, it's just too daunting and annoying a task. Philly_Jim_69Nice sends a video of the Children's Hospital he donated the money to. In the video, a man in a black hood walks up to the hospital and starts taking organs from the transplant room. "That should about cover my $50,000." he says, revealing himself to be Jim Halpert. Jim is never seen again and the so-called organ thefts are blamed on Dwight creating a fanbase that was "willing to do anything" to get his attention.
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May 26, 2021 17:14
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Jim tricks Dwight into loving Pam. Dwight holds the institution of monogamous marriage sacrosanct and is devastated that he has violated two marriages this night. Jim masturbates into a mug for the camera.
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May 26, 2021 17:14
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Jim pays Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland to have beloved cartoon character Mr. Poopybutthole die choking on a beet. Rick spends the rest of the episode destroying beets in comically over the top sci-fi ways. At the end of the episode Rick speaks directly to the viewer, saying that he will open a portal and be best friends with anyone who kills a beet farmer and that anyone who refuses to kill a beet farmer is a "Jerry". In the morning Dwight is found dead in his home and three men in their 40s drowned in a kiddie pool filled with green jello labled "portal to dimension C-137"
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May 26, 2021 17:27
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Jim acquires the Skittle Touch from those commercials and sets about touching everyone that Dwight holds dear.
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May 26, 2021 18:34
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 00:17 |
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thanks to years of being the top earning salesmen and prudent investments in Bitcoin and real estate, Dwight retires early. on his last of he work he goes around to each of his coworkers and hands them a gift and hugs them goodbye. when he reaches Jim he hands him a sealed envelopes and as they hug whispers in his ear “open this after I leave”. An intrigued Jim waits until Dwight pulls out of the parking lot one last time and opens the envelope - in it is a letter which describes in excruciating detail the tedium that faces Jim over the next twenty years of his empty life working as a middling paper salesmen and dealing with Michael Scott, and all the things the wealthy Dwight will be enjoying. a distraught Jim looks up at the camera, tears rolling down his face. At the same moment miles away Dwight smiles
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May 26, 2021 19:22
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