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WalletBeef posted:We keep getting castaways from other teams yet we never hire someone for the team that actually went to school for loving software development and management WONDERS why it takes new developers to come up to speed. My office had an awful time filling in sudden vacancies a few years back due to a big exodus after a re-org and tried recruiting people with Associates degrees or boot camp degrees who couldn't get work elsewhere. Most of those people ended up being perfectly competent and fine employees , but a few of them just couldn't do the basics that a freshman in College would be expected to do, without help. Management decided that we'd give the new employees who were struggling to do anything a few months of tutelage and if they couldn't manage even making basic reports or simple code changes by their 6 month probationary period end, they'd be let go. All in all, still pretty reasonable. Except that instead of pulling in a volunteer, or a developer who was coming off a large project, or anyone else who might have wanted to do this, they pulled in our main systems architect, a dude who was already working insane amounts of overtime due to being involved in every project in flight at some point, and told him he had to do this on top of his normal workload. I'm half surprised that the man didn't up and quit after the first day when he found out that one of the hires didn't even know what a loop was.
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May 26, 2021 13:39
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I'm a stay at home office worker now, but I spent my time in the restaurant fast food biz. Cops used to be called at my spot every weekend because families used to regularly brawl after downing beers and watching their kids crawl thru disgusting ball pits. My coworker tried to rob the store at the end of the strip mall where the restaurant was, got caught because the stockings she used was see thru. My boss would talk to me about her blown out vagina/rear end in a top hat she got giving birth. Chuck E. Cheese....was a hell of a thing
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May 26, 2021 14:38
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Facilities went through the building and removed all the trashcans except for those in the restrooms and break rooms... I guess as a Covid measure??? 
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May 26, 2021 14:46
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My last two companies did that years before Covid. They're just cheap.
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May 26, 2021 14:55
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Cthulu Carl posted:Facilities went through the building and removed all the trashcans except for those in the restrooms and break rooms... I guess as a Covid measure??? ultrafilter posted:My last two companies did that years before Covid. They're just cheap. Yeah, my last company did this - the contracted cleaning staff only had to empty 10 garbage cans per floor, instead of 10 + (however many hundreds of desks there were). This meant that in addition to doing our jobs, employees were now all independently doing mental calculus around "do I leave any trash on my desk until the next time I get up and look like a slob, or waste time every time I generate an item of trash and get up, walk halfway across the wing, and throw it away?" Naturally, those that brought in some sort of container to put trash in - that they would empty themselves into the common bin - were told that it made the wing look "cluttered" and to not do that. I went a different route and just found something that was able to fit in a deep filing-sized drawer, and just used that. So, yeah - instead of just telling employees "Yeah, you gotta empty your cans yourselves" they made everyone go through a months-long exercise of trying to figure out how they could re-create the concept of "trash cans at the desk" without some hall monitor tattling on them. Just absolutely fine work all around.
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May 26, 2021 15:07
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And yet as part of the remodel, everyone got sit/stand desks, and the break rooms all have Keurigs in addition to regular coffee makers...
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May 26, 2021 15:07
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Oh yeah my MegaCorp reduced cubicles from four trash cans to one, as you see, we're a green company now. They declined to provide any way to wash reusable coffee mugs without awkwardly going into the bathroom and trying to use hand soap, or using up a break taking a long walk to the kitchen on another floor, so it was less than effective. An upside of their tendency to pack four or five workers to a cubicle meant they have no easy way to bring back employees anytime soon. Considering we were only sent home after someone died I'm in no rush to go back.
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May 26, 2021 15:07
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Shageletic posted:My boss would talk to me about her blown out vagina/rear end in a top hat she got giving birth. Can we hear more about this
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May 26, 2021 15:23
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AHH F/UGH posted:Can we hear more about this I was 17 and needed a ride home and my supervisor who I think was in her 30s gave me and another coworker a ride home. Imagine your boss talking about giving birth and her holes rupturing into one hole as you're trapped in the car driving thru the night Lol just realized how hosed up this is
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May 26, 2021 15:32
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"Everybody, I'm really happy to say we're scheduling our first in person meeting for next week!" "Cool, glad everybody is vaccinated!" "Oh no, I'm never getting vaccinated. And I will not be wearing a mask either. Looking forward to cramming inside a small conference room with 10 of you!"
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May 26, 2021 15:32
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The thing is with that job I was so used to bodily functions. First year I had to.muck out the bathrooms and you can imagine what the bathrooms of a childrens restaurant looks like. At some point you forget thats its poip and instead brown bad guys you gotta wash away to win E: totally unrelated never go into a ball pit
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May 26, 2021 15:34
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Volmarias posted:Businesses use a FUCKLOAD of paper. Lol at 8600 pieces of paper per worker being needed. Even counting the hundreds of waivers and forms I'm required to print off I doubt my entire office hits more than a 2-3 thousand.
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May 26, 2021 15:52
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Dumb poo poo my work let me do - work from home to deal with medical scheduling (I live right next to the clinic and nowhere near my workplace) instead of spending my limited time off. I should have just taken the time. Working on a single tiny laptop screen is not effective at all. Neither is trying to work in a space not at all mentally associated to it. 
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May 26, 2021 16:20
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I work with people who by default pre-pandemic would get a paper copy of everything they worked on. That could easily involve multiple 200+ page documents a week. They'd get the bigger things printed, collated and delivered to their desk by the internal print shop. They might never need that document again after two or three days. When our office tried to cut back on printing nobody was surprised.
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May 26, 2021 16:21
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AHH F/UGH posted:Can we hear more about this What I'm trying to say is it's not super hard to find women who want to talk about their taint blowing out like a tire on the highway if you're into that sort of thing
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May 26, 2021 16:26
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Outrail posted:I dated one coworker, luckily she left before we broke up, coz otherwise that would have been messy with half the office taking sides (read:hating my guts). Catching up on this thread and holy lol this zedprime posted:I think like something ridiculous like 25% of vaginal births suffer from some amount of perineum tearing. Many of them suffer the full blowout of their taint from vagina to rear end in a top hat. Yup but I was trapped in a car and had no idea why she wanted to talk to me, her employee who she never even really talked to before. Felt like I was in a gynecological Training Day
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May 26, 2021 16:34
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Shageletic posted:Catching up on this thread and holy lol this She wanted to gently caress you and your coworker.
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May 26, 2021 17:40
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My MegaCorp has an internal employee magazine produced by our HR dept which includes managers and reporters. For some reason our IT dept decided to put out their own internal newsletter, despite there being no demand or need for this information. This is made worse as they just threw a random assortment of employees together to write it and ran out of topics fast they often just interview each other. Despite being unnecessary and with extremely low readership, our IT management loves this. So instead of disbanding and using the headcount for critically understaffed depts they've begun offering $50 gift card bribes for readers. Related to that an VP puts out a weekly video to celebrate IT employees who have received positive feedback. This isn't accompanied by any reward but the employee could mention it in their annual review. Except when the VP sends out the video link he doesn't mention who has received praise so unless you want to watch ten minutes of random employee names in the hopes of being mentioned, you won't know if you did anything praiseworthy. I mentioned this to someone who helps send out the videos but apparently including a list of names is beyond their tech skills somehow.
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May 26, 2021 17:47
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Got this in an email today: "Also make sure you decompress after work, one of the things we miss most is the drive home which we all listened to the radio or watched the sights along the way before making it home."
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May 26, 2021 17:49
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:She wanted to gently caress you and your coworker. I was trying to think how the hell talking about that would help you get laid, but I guess "Yo, this poo poo got blown out by a tiny human skull. Just stretched like nobody's business, except you, my employees I am conveying this information to unprompted" works as a low-key humble rag if you think one or both employees are hung and have no sense of boundaries???
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May 26, 2021 17:51
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manpurse posted:Got this in an email today: I wouldn’t say “miss most” but it’s not like they’re totally wrong for everyone. My commute is 100 percent decompression time and it’s why I try to aim for a 20-30 minute drive to/from work. I absolutely missed having that transition from work to home/home to work when I did the WFH thing like ten years ago.
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May 26, 2021 17:52
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manpurse posted:Got this in an email today: the most bizarre poo poo has come out of the pandemic "i miss the commute, it gave me time to think" "i don't want the staff to serve me at a buffet because they might food shame me for eating two plates of macaroni and cheese, the privacy of the gluttony is part of the experience" "i can't separate work stress from home life if i don't have a separate location to travel to every day" "restaurants can't afford to stay in business if people work from home"
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May 26, 2021 17:54
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Cthulu Carl posted:I was trying to think how the hell talking about that would help you get laid, but I guess "Yo, this poo poo got blown out by a tiny human skull. Just stretched like nobody's business, except you, my employees I am conveying this information to unprompted" works as a low-key humble rag if you think one or both employees are hung and have no sense of boundaries???
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May 26, 2021 17:56
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manpurse posted:Got this in an email today: there's no way this wasn't written by a psychopath.
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May 26, 2021 17:57
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I actually do enjoy long drives home, but I don't live in the kind of city where rush-hour is commonly "literally come to a complete stop on the bumper-to-bumper highway and crawl along in 5mph intervals". The times it is like that, or the times I've lived in cities that were always like that, it took me hours after getting home to "decompress".
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May 26, 2021 18:00
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boar guy posted:"i can't separate work stress from home life if i don't have a separate location to travel to every day" I can, but it's nice to not have to associate work stress with part of your living space. That's just human psychology at work. For those of us who aren't in McMansions, that space has a pretty heavy overlap with our regular living spaces. Given the choice of "form negative associations with sitting down in my only comfortable chair with a laptop" and "don't", I'll take "don't", thanks. Coming to you live from the living room because good luck fitting a home office in this apartment.
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May 26, 2021 18:12
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I have an easy 20 minute commute on all surface streets, no highways and I loving hate it. I've had over a year of starting most of my days by rolling out of bed, putting on sweatpants or shorts, walking the dog, then watching cartoons for an hour before work and ending the day by shutting down the work PC and immediately taking the dog for a walk and I don't want to go back to even a five minute drive with no traffic. If I want to "decompress" I can do that on the toilet for my post-dinner poo poo.
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May 26, 2021 18:13
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Ugly In The Morning posted:I wouldn’t say “miss most” but it’s not like they’re totally wrong for everyone. My commute is 100 percent decompression time and it’s why I try to aim for a 20-30 minute drive to/from work. I absolutely missed having that transition from work to home/home to work when I did the WFH thing like ten years ago. I can understand the wanting separate spaces for work bit, but I've never understand this one. Why people can't just hop in the car and go for a drive after work if they need that specific thing to decompress.
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May 26, 2021 18:21
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In the vein of the employers who removed trash cans from cubicles: A few years ago one job I had remodeled the entire top floor of our building and my department was told we would be moving to the new space from a literal dank, concrete-block-walled, windowless bunker in the basement. Windows, new cubicles, new carpets. Deluxe digs by cubicle farmer standards. Except our direct supervisor decided he was going to take this move as an opportunity to purge his personal pet peeve: any employee customization or personal decorations in their own cubicles. This, we were told seemingly-apologetically, would be verboten in the new space in a 'I'm sorry guys but this is coming down from the top, my hands are tied' kind of way. This was kind of a bummer because, y'know, making a space "your own" is an utterly natural impulse for human beings and gives you the illusion of some kind of control and ownership of your space. Without it, you feel exactly like what you are -- an anonymous, disposable 'human resource' with one foot out the door at all times, ready to be replaced at any time. When we got up to the new floor, it turned out that we would share it with another, unrelated department (under the same VP-equivalent) and wouldn't you know it, the other department had no problem with decorating their space like crazy.  Of course it immediately became obvious the 'new policy from on high' was actually our lowly supervisor's personal preference, and actually intended to target one specific employee who had, in the past, gone a little overboard in terms of decorating their space and thus embarrassed the supervisor vicariously when the VP-equivalent came around. The rest of us slowly began reintroducing personal decorations, but tentatively, pushing the limits until this supervisor objected and then dialing it back.
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May 26, 2021 18:32
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Related to that same supervisor: are few things more annoying than a middle manager who was former career military with terminal troopbrain? The kind of guy who can't understand why the entire world can't be run exactly like the Army?
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May 26, 2021 18:35
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Terminal troopbrains are normally hired hoping that the troopbrain wears off on other people turning them also into troopbrain automatons.
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May 26, 2021 18:38
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I did WFH for ~4 years pre-COVID and transition time from work to home is 100% a thing. Stop and go driving is not a good way to accomplish this. (Neither is walking to the bar 2 blocks away and getting shitfaced but hey, if my liver wanted a good life it should have picked a better host.)
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May 26, 2021 18:42
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I quite like my commute to work, but that’s because it is a peaceful time for me to read my book on the train, when I can’t get emails or be bothered by my kids.
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May 26, 2021 18:43
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My current immediate manager I'd ex-Navy and chill as gently caress. One of my co-workers is an Ex-Marine who can get a little... Particular about things, but I think that's just who he is. They both got medically discharged because of asthma, so maybe there's a correlation?
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May 26, 2021 18:52
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Cthulu Carl posted:One of my co-workers is an Ex-Marine The easy test for terminal troopbrain in this case is to refer to him as an "ex-marine" in his presence and see what happens
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May 26, 2021 18:58
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boar guy posted:"restaurants can't afford to stay in business if people work from home" That's a real concern in areas like midtown Manhattan with a very large commuter population. There's a big ecosystem that's evolved to support that, and if you cut it significantly a lot of businesses are going to be in trouble.
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May 26, 2021 18:59
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boar guy posted:the most bizarre poo poo has come out of the pandemic Oh for sure that stuff is insane. If I felt like waking up an hour earlier to throw $10 in the trash then sit in my car I could, but the urge hasn't struck me. Missing a commute makes zero sense. Roll the dice, did a truck overturn? Did it start snowing at 1pm? Did a light on the dash come on so you get to spend Saturday afternoon paying someone $200? Why would I want to do any of that if I could do my work without leaving the house? I try not to get too tinfoily but 100% chance those articles are being pushed by commercial landlords. Imagined posted:Of course it immediately became obvious the 'new policy from on high' was actually our lowly supervisor's personal preference, and actually intended to target one specific employee who had, in the past, gone a little overboard in terms of decorating their space and thus embarrassed the supervisor vicariously when the VP-equivalent came around. The rest of us slowly began reintroducing personal decorations, but tentatively, pushing the limits until this supervisor objected and then dialing it back. I had a not-great cubicle mate in his 40s who packed his space with GameStop clearance rack garbage. When someone brought a small child into the office they walked by and were delighted by what they perceived to be decorations in the theme of a five year old's dream birthday. Hyrax Attack! fucked around with this message at 19:10 on May 26, 2021 |
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May 26, 2021 19:06
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Just curious whether any of those who can't understand why anyone would rather work in an office than work from home have, say, small children or elderly relatives that live with them (or both FML  )? It reminds me of other threads where childless people can't understand why anyone would spend more than 5 minutes taking a poo poo, for example. Or where introverts can't understand why anyone might like to talk to other people. Of course, I wouldn't jump from there to 'I will sabotage the work-from-home policy for everyone regardless of their circumstance because WFH is miserable for me', because I'm not a psycho.
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May 26, 2021 19:12
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this friday i will get up at 5 AM to get ready then drive 2 hours to my work's onsite location for a 30 minute monthly all hands meeting. i will then sit in an office on an underpowered laptop with one screen with one other person until 11 AM, which is lunch time, at which point i will go out for what i am sure will be a two hour lunch in a busy, crowded, probably unsafe restaurant. then i will turn around and drive the now three hours home due to the time of day and it being Friday. this is a 1/20th loss of productivity and is only being done because 'company culture and face time are important in the CEO's mind'. okay. you can pay me $109 in mileage to do that. but you're an idiot going to the office is just a ritual that some people can't shake. don't tell me that hallway conversations and vending machine bump in tos are important parts of work any more than 90 minute lunches or 7 smoke breaks a day are. all the stuff "they" want you at work for isn't the work part of work
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May 26, 2021 19:14
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zedprime posted:Terminal troopbrains are normally hired hoping that the troopbrain wears off on other people turning them also into troopbrain automatons. the government should be run more like a business! business should be run more like the military! the military should be run more like ???????
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May 26, 2021 19:15
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