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A Fancy Hat posted:Dwight starts streaming video games on Twitch, quickly becoming a beloved figure due to his quick wit and love of his fans. His next challenge will be to get 100% in a game, and the fans can pick it. A user with the name "Philly_Jim_69Nice" begs him to play Donkey Kong 64, then donates $50,000 to charity as an incentive. Dwight is compelled to do this, even though he's heard horror stories about the game's length and repetitive nature. This resonated heavily with me. I had ptsd flashbacks
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May 26, 2021 21:11
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| # ? May 29, 2024 06:57 |
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Tim replaces the malt vinegar for Gareth's fish n' chips with British Hot Sauce (aka "yellow mustard").
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May 26, 2021 21:17
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Jim asks Dwight if he'd like a scoop of ice cream. "Sure," answers Dwight. Jim gouges out Dwight's eye with an ice cream scoop. Dwight screams. In confession cam, Jim says "'eye scream,' get it?" and dangles Dwight's eye in front of the camera. Dwight's howls of pain can be heard in the background.
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May 26, 2021 21:21
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Jim hunts Dwight as the most dangerous game.
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May 27, 2021 01:33
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Jim takes Dwight to a WWII re-enactment event and convinces Dwight to be a Nazi with him, implying that Jim has always secretly been a white supremacist. Jim ducks out of the group prior to Dwight engaging in a hate crime and mugs at the camera. Dwight is arrested but let go on bail and becomes a shockingly lucrative figure in the neocon podcast community making millions to softpedal Nazi rhetoric and his beet-based "health supplements" that are not approved by the FDA.
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May 27, 2021 01:52
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Jim ressurects a stupid fuckin thread to Dwight's chagrin
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May 27, 2021 01:59
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Jim convinces Dwight that he can gain superpowers if he holds a metal rod high during a thunderstorm. As Dwight holds the rod up high, Jim creeps up behind him with a severed, but live, power line.
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May 27, 2021 02:05
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Jim eats beets for lunch and tell the whole office how good they are. Everyone else becomes very interested in beets as a result of Jim's enthusiastic endorsement and pretty soon the whole office is way into beets, sharing beet recipes and discussing which beet cultivar is their favorite. Dwight, who's been trying to get his coworkers into beets for years is just standing there like "WTF."
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May 27, 2021 02:16
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Jim barfs all over Dwight "by accident." On confession cam, Jim reveals it was actually on purpose.
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May 27, 2021 02:18
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an extremely drunk Jim, adrift after his divorce from Pam, "pranks" Dwight by leaving a slurring voicemail message without bothering to disguise his voice from a "giant client" desperate for paper. dwight, out of kindness, pretends to be upset, looking knowingly at the camera the entire time.
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May 27, 2021 02:45
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Jim ressurects a stupid fuckin thread to Dwight's chagrin Jim convinces Dwight to beat his own nutsack to improve fertility.
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May 27, 2021 02:46
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May 27, 2021 02:48
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Obviously someone needs to tweet this thread at John Kaczynski so that he gets the Office back on the air so they can produce all these pranks.
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May 27, 2021 03:04
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Better yet, tweet it at Rainn Wilson.
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May 27, 2021 03:25
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Dunder Mifflin announces an exciting new collaboration with Space-X; the plan to launch 4 Dunder Mifflin employees into space. Dwight, Meredith, Oscar, and Kevin are chosen. Jim is enraged by this decision, claiming that his dream has always been to go into space. When Pam cheerfully reminds Jim that his dream was to marry her, Jim slaps her in the face and storms off. On launch day, everyone from the office lines up to wish the crew well. Everyone except for Jim, of course. Months later, Dwight and the rest of the crew lay down for hyper-sleep, preparing to land on Mars. However, the ship is struck by a meteor and goes off course, eventually crashing onto a strange, alien world. Oscar and Meredith are killed on impact, leaving Dwight and Kevin to search for signs of intelligent life in a desperate bid to make it home. Eventually they find what appears to be a primitive human-like life form. Attempting to communicate, Dwight is quickly cut off by the sounds of gunfire. He sees horses in the distance riding quickly towards them, at least a dozen by his count. And on top of those horses - Jim. A dozen Jims. And at least another dozen Jims on foot, all of them with nets or guns or clubs. The Jims kill most of the primitive humans and capture the rest, including Dwight and Kevin. Dwight already realizes what's going on and demands to speak to "The Law-Jimmer". Out steps another JIm, this one dressed in elaborate robes. Dwight explains that he's from the distant past, and that after leaving Earth on a space mission, a vengeful Jim must have destroyed the world, leaving only his mutant descendants behind to rule the blasted wasteland. Dwight then demands to see the cave with the doll, so he can "get to the Statue of Liberty already and get this dumb prank over with". The Law Jimmer shoots Dwight, killing him instantly, while all the Jims mug for the camera. Miles away, past the Forbidden Zone, the Statue of Liberty (which also has Jim's face) mugs for the camera as well.
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May 27, 2021 13:42
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jim glues a quarter to dwight's desk
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May 27, 2021 14:38
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jim gets a nail clipper and clips the tips of dwight's teeth off
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May 27, 2021 14:39
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Jim creates a replica of Dwight's desk that's 7/8 the size of his real one, convincing Dwight that he's become the world's smallest giant.
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May 27, 2021 14:42
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Jim unleashes a swarm of deadly mariposa ants on Dwight's beet farm.
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May 27, 2021 14:58
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jim autocorrects 'beet' to 'beat' on dwight's phone, creating confusion amongst the dunder mifflin staff when dwight texts them that he wants to 'beat their meat' with his new beet-flavored dry rub
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May 27, 2021 15:21
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in the crossover event of the season, dwight is kidnapped by hannibal lecter (mads mikkelson) but but let go after hannibal realizes that dwight's all beet diet has made him unpalatable. jim also meets will graham (hugh dancy) and tricks him into thinking he has dementia by swapping out his clock drawing with gibberish. tune in at 10 pm on your local nbc station!
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May 27, 2021 15:25
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While plowing his beet fields, Dwight discovers a bronze statue that looks strangely like Jim. Fearing this is a prank, he takes it to the local museum. They are all very excited and explain to Dwight that rigorous testing has proven that this statue dates to an earlier era than the bronze age. Dwight may very well have rewritten our understanding of prehistory with this discovery. Dwight is excited and quickly dismisses the similarity to Jim as the effects of stress on his brain. In fact, when he looks at it after testing, it doesn't look like Jim at all. Dwight's farm is carefully excavated in search of additional artifacts, leading to a 3 mile deep pit being dug where his beet field used to be. Dwight is still allowed to live on the farm and quickly makes friends with the many scientists visiting the farm. One night, Dwight hears a grinding noise and laughter coming from the pit. The next day he asks who was "burning the midnight oil", and everyone says that they weren't around after the sun set. Fearing that someone may have broken in to the site, Dwight and a team of scientists descend into the pit to ensure that no one has become trapped in the labyrinthian cave system that has been dug under Schrute Farms. Heading deep into the cave system, Dwight hears the sound of footsteps further inward and heads forward, beyond the tunnels that have been dug by the scientists. He does not realize that a small hole he shimmies through is, in fact, part of a natural cave system. After squeezing through, Dwight finds himself in a large open area. Although Dwight is close friends with the scientists, he has no idea exactly how deep they've dug, and simply believes this to be more of the man-made tunnels. His flashlight is too weak to illuminate the walls of the room, which would reveal a massive mural spanning the entire room. Dwight hears the footsteps again and is now chasing after them, eventually finding himself at a dead end. Was he getting tricked by an echo? He quickly searches with his flashlight and discovers a tiny level embedded in the rock wall. Dwight is consumed with curiosity and pulls it, leading to the entire wall opening up. This reveals a final room, this one lit by candles. Strange, primitive paintings line the walls. Dwight thinks they look like cave paintings, but some of the paintings seem to show wheeled vehicles, flying vehicles, and animals that Dwight doesn't recognize. In the middle of the room sits a figure dressed in robes, and Dwight cautiously reaches towards them. When his hand makes contact, the form falls over, revealing a mummified corpse covered in gold and silver jewelry. There are gemstones embedded in the jewelry that shine in colors Dwight has never seen before, and the sight makes his head hurt. He begins to run out of the cave in fear, finally making it back to the large open room. The room is now illuminated, seemingly by electrical lights, and Dwight feels a great terror growing in the pit of his stomach. The mural is dimly lit, but Dwight can see enough. A large object falls from the sky, destroying a village. The village's crops begin to wither and people begin to die. Humans are then sacrificed to a large, many-limbed creature inside of a cave. Crops begin to grow after the sacrifice. Dwight tries to find the tiny tunnel he used to reach here, but the walls appear to be completely solid. He is panicking now and starts to wonder where the hell electricity is coming from to power the lights. He then hears something dragging itself along the floor from the tiny room he found the body in. Dwight turns his flashlight on it and something with yellow eyes screams at him. Dwight is now desperately clawing at the walls, trying to find a way out, when he hears something fluttering on the ceiling of the cave. He dares not look up as the fluttering gets louder and closer. Closer to the surface, the scientists find Jim inside the caves. "Sorry, I thought anybody was allowed down here!" The scientists tell him to please leave, as this is a restricted dig site. Jim agrees, but says that he needs to grab Dwight first. From a shadowy corner emerges Dwight, or at least something that is now pretending to be Dwight. Jim and "Dwight" head back to the surface and return to Dunder Mifflin. Jim puts "Dwight's" stapler in jell-o and they both laugh about it, having quickly become friends. In a later segment, Jim tells the camera crew that he's excited to make "a lot more friends from the Pit" and smiles.
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May 27, 2021 15:32
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Dwight is all set to get his own farm, which should lead to at least three or more seasons of productive and richly rewarding work that will bring him closer with his quirky sister and estranged brother. However, Jim arranges for Toby to write and direct the backdoor pilot, which ends up being so terrible that then entire thing is quickly forgotten.
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May 27, 2021 16:35
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Jim keeps procrastinating on a huge project, then gets Covid-19 from a house party (he and all of the other guests were unvaccinated), forcing Dwight to complete the entire project by himself. 3 months later Jim is awarded Dunder Mifflin's highest honor for "his" work on the project, which also comes with a $10,000 cash prize. Jim announces he is using the money to travel to Disney World with Pam (they are both still unvaccinated) and the kids. When Dwight tries to raise a complaint about this Jim tells him "stop attacking a guy who almost died of covid, Dwight. It's not my fault I caught it."
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May 27, 2021 16:52
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Jim puts Dwight's stapler in a big bowl of chocolate pudding. Dwight is seriously annoyed, the chocolate spills and stains the carpet, and Michael doesn't find this time nearly as funny as "the other one, the jello thing. Now THAT was comedy. this just feels...I don't know." Dwight's stapler is ruined and he orders a replacement which will take three weeks to arrive. Jim mugs the camera.
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May 27, 2021 16:59
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim keeps procrastinating on a huge project, then gets Covid-19 from a house party (he and all of the other guests were unvaccinated), forcing Dwight to complete the entire project by himself. See, that's just unrealistic seeing how much of a failure dunder muffin is. I am not correcting that
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May 27, 2021 17:12
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Dwight mentions offhand he enjoyed “The Usual Suspects” and Jim berates Dwight at length for endorsing the work of a rapist and pedophile. Dwight tries to protest but the office has already turned against him and any excuses he makes just dig the hole deeper. Dwight is now an object of scorn in the office and anything he says going forward is misconstrued in the worst possible light. Jim confesses in the breakroom cam that he’s a big fan of all Spacey’s work.
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May 27, 2021 17:14
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Jim gets his pilot's license and offers to fly the entire office around for a sightseeing tour. Dwight is the only one who chooses not to go, claiming that he has a fear of heights. In fact, days earlier he was warned by an old woman on the street to "avoid the flying prankster, his bird will not survive" and takes this as a warning sign. He secretly tries to convince everyone else to avoid the flight, arguing that Jim is too easily distracted to be a good pilot. Angela is the only person to heed Dwight's warning, and the two of them have a picnic together while Jim flies the rest of the crew around Scranton. Jim successfully lands the plane with no issues, and everyone comments on what a wonderful pilot Jim is. Dwight feels a bit of frustration, knowing that he missed a wonderful flight, but still enjoyed his picnic with Angela. As the entire office prepares to head back to work, Jim gets a phone call. He starts crying, whispers something to Pam, and then runs off. Pam explains that Jim's pet bird was just killed in a freak accident. Jim goes home early to handle this. Dwight and everyone else go back to work for 3 hours to finish the day. At home, Jim mugs for the camera and explains that he has no bird. He was dressed as the old woman and set this whole thing up to get a free half day off of work to work on more prank ideas. He then goes on to explain that he doesn't even have a pilot's license and actually "has no idea whose plane that was".
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May 27, 2021 17:51
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Applewhite posted:Dwight mentions offhand he enjoyed “The Usual Suspects” and Jim berates Dwight at length for endorsing the work of a rapist and pedophile. Dwight tries to protest but the office has already turned against him and any excuses he makes just dig the hole deeper. Jim dies under mysterious circumstances. Dwight films an entirely unrelated video in front of a fireplace ranting about “killing with kindness” and then stars in a film about a detective who investigates “a guy who kills guys named Jim”
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May 27, 2021 19:07
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“I am not a Jim-ophile!!” yells Dwight from atop a pile of Jim-ophile magazines, to reporters asking about the multiple counts of Jim-ophilia leveled against him
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May 27, 2021 19:29
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naem posted:“I am not a Jim-ophile!!” It's later revealed that Dwight was a moderator on a website forum called Something Jimful, and is as the final nail in Dwight's coffin
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May 27, 2021 19:34
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Who What Now posted:It's later revealed that Dwight was a moderator on a website forum called Something Jimful, and is as the final nail in Dwight's coffin the coffin manufacturer, nail distributor and reporter writing the story all die under mysterious circumstances Dwight stars in another movie alongside several (very) young John Krazinski lookalikes who Dwight cast himself in what is rumored to be a series of highly exclusive jello themed pool partys
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May 27, 2021 19:43
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Who What Now posted:It's later revealed that Dwight was a moderator on a website forum called Something Jimful, and is as the final nail in Dwight's coffin A loud pounding wakes Dwight up. He bolts up, only to hit his head on something about three inches away. He puts his hands up, and quickly realizes he's in a coffin. He screams and screams but no one hears. The pounding continues all around the coffin. On the outside, Jim is finishing putting the final nails through the lid and into the coffin itself. "Dwight always told me he wanted to make sure if he was to come back as a zombie he wouldn't be able to escape and harm the people he loves," he explains to the gathered mourners. A few nod in agreement. "It's almost as if you can hear him saying 'Thank you Jim, for acceding to my final wish." Dwight is lowered into the ground. Angela throws a rose into the hole and walks away, sobbing, as she's tended to by Oscar and Kevin. As Jim shovels heaps of dirt on the coffin, he mugs for the camera. Seth Pecksniff fucked around with this message at 19:48 on May 27, 2021 |
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May 27, 2021 19:45
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Several of the young John Kraxzsinski-esque actors go on in future years to act out and have abuse claims leveled against them until one cracks and yells on camera “It was the jello! The jello made me do it! I didn’t want to get in the pool!!” their careers are all sidelined and the one who spoke out is found unresponsive floating in the LA river, his body riddled with staples
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May 27, 2021 19:46
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Jim stops pranking Dwight, and asks Michael if they can work together on some big accounts. With his prank energy redirected towards teamwork, Jim actually becomes a very competent employee and with Dwight’s expertise they sell record amounts of paper. Michael, dumbfounded, assigns them more and more large projects and soon they’re spending nearly all their time together - working in lockstep. Late one night working on a quote for the entire Pennsylvania public school system, Dwight notices Jim staring at him. They’ve become fast friends in the last few months. Jim closes his eyes and goes in for the kiss. Dwight hesitates but responds. Pam takes the divorce badly and quits, reuniting with Roy and becoming a stay at home mom. Michael is promoted to District Manager in the next year due to Jim and Dwight’s spectacular performance and is replaced by a completely boring and nondescript manager. Angela also quits citing an Old Testament passage on homosexuality, Oscar is confused. Jim and Dwight marry a year later, the office (minus Michael and Pam and Angela) are in attendance. The two of them adopt several children, travel the world, and sell paper for the next several decades before retiring. One day, Jim slips in the shower and Dwight finds him an hour later. The doctors say the length of time means there is little hope for a full recovery, there was too much bleeding and swelling on the brain. Jim wakes up one last time in the hospital bed and sees Dwight, who hasn’t left his side. Dwight has encased his IV bag in Jello. They mug the camera together one last time. Office theme in minor key.
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May 27, 2021 20:11
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Jim shoves a beet up Dwight’s tailpipe, causing catastrophic engine damage.
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May 27, 2021 20:14
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTi7TKjB5k4
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May 27, 2021 20:17
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something something prank something something dwight has syphilis now
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May 27, 2021 20:30
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This is perfect for a halloween themed prank/episode
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May 27, 2021 20:35
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| # ? May 29, 2024 06:57 |
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Owlspiracy posted:something something prank something something dwight has syphilis now “Syph-PHYLIS!!” Michael yells enthusiastically, mugging the camera, standing near Phyllis who- rather than being annoyed- smiles, remembering how much drat fun she had in her twenties when she was a burlesque dancer 
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May 27, 2021 20:44
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