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Today we swept the outside of the kindergarten for gravel. Two of the kids took some of the gravel, put it in a plastic bag and made themselves a gravel-baby.
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Apr 28, 2021 18:11
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| # ? May 17, 2024 01:15 |
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Heard at the kindergarten today: "Milk comes out of the cow's butt. It pees milk!" One kid composed a little song about how it didn't want to play outside. "Everyone got blood inside of them." "....no..." "Yes! I do and you do." "..no! You're kidding with me!"
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Apr 29, 2021 17:42
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May 4, 2021 01:52
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https://twitter.com/ktmartinez/status/1390750056760885258
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May 8, 2021 12:15
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My kid's school recently had their annual standardized test and to get ready for that, they had a campaign that they were going to "rock the test" and come dressed as rock stars. I told my daughter it's a shame I don't have all the silly stuff I wore in high school that they could wear, and sent her pictures of spiked bracelets, chain wallets, and studded leather belts to show her what I was talking about. She said "You really used to wear this stuff? You used to be cool?" Then she goes "I mean, your still cool but you used to be super cool." cause she's so sweet.
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May 10, 2021 18:44
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A couple years ago I worked with a non-verbal 3-year-old who was juuuust starting to get some words, yes/no kind of thing, the most basic of basics, we celebrated every single one obviously but that didn't make it any less hilarious when I was sitting with him and he reached out both hands with the full finger-wiggling grab at my chest and yelled "BOOBIES". Literally the third word in his inventory. Used correctly. Great job, kiddo
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May 11, 2021 00:34
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My dad got a letter recently from his 4-year-old granddaughter (with envelope-addressing help from her dad, of course): "Dear (his name), Please tell Nana to send more treats Love, C"
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May 11, 2021 02:48
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As someone with a 10 month old who now says dadadadadada like a mantra, I look forward to contributing
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May 14, 2021 04:30
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https://twitter.com/kph3k/status/1398069945657872387 https://twitter.com/iandenning85/status/1398092270449037313 *fades back in to hedge*
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May 28, 2021 17:58
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Some recent quotes from my nephew (2.5yo) In my parents yard & the friendly neighbor lady came over by the hedge to say hi, so my dad asked if he wanted to go visit. Nephew says "That's a pretty good idea. That doesn't sound half bad!" and beelines for the neighbor's Another day he got a glass of milk & said "you know, I actually quite like milk." NB: These are my bad attempts at translating his weirdly old-fashioned and detailed Danish to English, but I definitely didn't talk all fancy like that when I was 2.5 lol
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May 28, 2021 18:13
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Must be a pretty sheltered 11 year old.
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May 28, 2021 18:19
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The Lord Bude posted:Must be a pretty sheltered 11 year old. :shhh: he doesnt have the internet & gets all memes via printouts from his parents
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May 28, 2021 18:35
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A child my aunt babysits named her cat "Miaow", which I thought was cute until it was pointed out her mother has to yell "Miaow! Miaow!" like a crazy person when calling for it at which point it was super cute
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Jul 5, 2021 11:34
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Friend’s 6-year-old is getting into the car with his brother for a week with the grandparents: 🧒🏼: Mom? 👩🏼🦰: Yes? 🧒🏼: When I’m gone this week please don’t move my special toys. 👩🏼🦰: OK kiddo 🧒🏼: And have all the sex you want!
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Jul 23, 2021 22:28
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 Kids know what's up! Always meant to ask, what's the thread title from?
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Jul 26, 2021 02:11
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a mysterious cloak posted:
One poster was working as an English teacher in... I forget what country, but they printed out various comic strips with the dialogue removed so the students could write their own in. One student had Calvin on the phone referencing The Ring with the titular phrase. E: Found it. It's the last one in the link. Fleta Mcgurn posted:In order to end this derail, I offer Korean Calvin and Hobbes, vintage goodness from 2014: Jade Rider has a new favorite as of 08:01 on Jul 26, 2021 |
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Jul 26, 2021 07:31
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Ohhhhhhhhhh now it makes sense. That's hilarious.
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Jul 29, 2021 07:18
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https://twitter.com/multiplebears/status/1424333120640270338
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Aug 8, 2021 15:04
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What is a soft play?
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Aug 8, 2021 23:14
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Beachcomber posted:What is a soft play? Like a play facility for little kids, where everything's padded so they can't hurt themselves if they fall over.
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Aug 8, 2021 23:38
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"gently caress" "What did you say?" "gently caress  ""Do you know what that means?" "It means we crashed our bicycle."
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Sep 1, 2021 12:13
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I mean, they're not wrong.
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Sep 1, 2021 15:00
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ConanThe3rd posted:I mean, they're not wrong. Yeah, I had to give them that one.
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Sep 1, 2021 16:02
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I sent my kids some pictures from my bike ride including one where I'm gross and sweaty and exhausted back in the car. My daughter texts me back "what's the matter with you in the last one?" I go "Girl, I was beat!" and she goes "oh no! someone beat you up while you were riding your bike? did you call the police?"
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Sep 1, 2021 21:40
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Had a talk with my slightly autistic kid yesterday about how third grade is starting soon, and the topic of his old kindergarten came up. Him: "I miss kindergarten so much." Me: "Aww, you do?" Him: "Yeah, I'm sad it burned down or whatever." Me: "Wait what?" Him: "Yeah, it's gone, that's why I had to go to school, didn't I?" Me: "Um, NO? When kids are little they go to kindergarten and when they get older they go to school. That's how it works for every child. It's not gone, the building is still there!" Him:  "Aaah, OK! I didn't know that!"Apparently he understood something wrong two years back. Maybe he took a phrasing like "kindergarten is over" to mean "the kindergarten is gone", and he's never brought it up since, just carried it around with him. You could literally see a burden getting lifted off his soul. 
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Sep 2, 2021 07:53
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I won't lie, sometimes I also want to burn down the kindergarten after a year is ended.
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Sep 2, 2021 10:29
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Went to the park with the kindergarten kids and one looked me in my eyes and said "Alhazred, there's no toilets here "
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Sep 4, 2021 10:03
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Just saw a video of my four-year-old niece walking to school in the rain. Filmed from behind, very cute, pink boots, umbrella. And a few seconds in she turns around and says with absolute cold fury, "Mummy, we should have brought the car." And then spins on her tiny heel and stalks onward.
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Sep 4, 2021 11:19
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Sounds like she had a good point.
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Sep 4, 2021 12:26
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The Lord Bude posted:Sounds like she had a good point. She usually does.
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Sep 5, 2021 03:52
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My mom and sister were talking about her lovely ex-husband with my niece who's 5. Her and my nephew see him every other weekend and such. He walked out on them when she was 2 weeks old for a bit and they didn't work out visitation stuff until she was like 2 or 3. Niece: Dad's no fun, he doesn't play with dolls or anything, just video games. Mom: Well you love your dad, right? Niece: Yeah, but only one percent. Mom: Well how much do you love me? Niece: I love you 300 percent, grandma! Sister: How much do you love me? Niece: 100 percent! Sister: ...I love you too
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Sep 5, 2021 21:32
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I got to hang out for a while with a kid I taught 3 years ago, he's about to turn 7 and he hasn't changed a bit. He told me this amazing story about "we went on holiday to the Isle of Wight - my grandma kindly rented us a beach house. My daddy used to go there when he was little. And it turns out that the beach house that we went to? It was the same beach house that my daddy used to stay in!" He said it all with such gravitas, and this deep excitement about this incredible coincidence  I asked him if he remembered coming to play at the preschool when he was little, and he said yes, so I asked him if anything was different to how he remembered. He furrowed his brow and said "well, there are a lot more toys out here than I expected." He finished up our conversation with "my mummy is in the last year of her thirties. Because she turns 40 in December." Mummy definitely appreciated that, great job kiddo.
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Sep 6, 2021 01:09
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One of the 6 year olds at school today had a stomach ache and was complaining how he couldn't pass motion, but had been trying the whole morning before he arrived at school. So he decided to try his luck when his class went to the washroom, and he was in the stall for such a long time, that I kept checking on him, asking him if he was ok. Kid: No, my poo isn't coming out. On my third check: Me: You ok kiddo? Kid: I can poo! But now my butt won't stop! That is like, a really good description of diarrhea.
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Oct 5, 2021 14:03
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https://twitter.com/AlixEHarrow/status/1352254973443264515
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Oct 11, 2021 04:28
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There's this 2 year old at school who can converse really really well. His grammar and vocab are great too. And maybe because of the above he's really good at pretending (He gets a playful tone to his voice when he's pretending, which is how I can tell). And it's lead to so many gems from him.
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Oct 22, 2021 02:09
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A bit sideways of the prompt, but: https://twitter.com/dirkregular/status/1451225211609751556?s=21
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Oct 22, 2021 06:51
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https://twitter.com/david8hughes/status/1452641901832593417
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Oct 25, 2021 15:26
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"Are your jeans broken?" "Yes " "Did you fall on your knees?" "No." "...then why?" "I think it looks cool." "...cool?"
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Oct 28, 2021 16:34
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I've taken a cat to the vet like that, once. Admittedly I made air holes in the backpack, though.
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Oct 29, 2021 02:25
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| # ? May 17, 2024 01:15 |
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"I was born to watch TV and eat candy" -Apparently what my kids younger told his mom recently. Thinking of putting it on a t-shirt for his birthday.
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Oct 31, 2021 15:56
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