pseudanonymous posted:

This is from a reddit thread making fun of Nathan:
I have a hard time believing it's not from the enterganger in chief himself.

quote:

... It took me about a year to [perfect the recipes with a chef in London]. We hopefully will be known for our GarfieldEATS “secret sauce.” It is orange-y. So orangey. No artificial colours. No preservatives. Tomatoes, when you blend them, they become orangey.

quote:

You can watch the Garfield and Friends series, you can play with augmented reality while you wait for your delivery. You can collect Paws [proprietary points] and redeem them through Goupons.

Goupons – like the company Groupon, or Garfield-branded coupons?

Like “coupon,” but I just used G because of Garfield. I’m all branded. How did I connect to Garfield? It’s really destiny. My mother used to bring me Garfield comic books. She used to hide them behind her back, and whenever I’d get an A or A+ – maybe a B+ – she used to come and surprise me with them.

quote:

I feel a huge responsibility for this cartoon. And if I screw it up, I feel like it could be jeopardy for the entire business, the entire legendary ecosystem of Garfield and the 400 licensees of Jim Davis. So I have a huge responsibility: the pizza must be delicious. And you know that our pizzas are Garfield shaped?

Yes, and I read that it took a long time to perfect the shape of the pans.

Yeah, it took a year to get the right pans and cutters, and the ears – when they puff out in the oven. Wow. It’s been a journey.

Frank Frank posted:

It took...a year to develop a garfield-shaped pizza pan. I gotta wonder how that product development cycle went.

CodfishCartographer posted:

I'm wondering how it took a year to perfect the recipe for a loving pizza

quote:

Yeah, it took a year to get the right pans and cutters, and the ears – when they puff out in the oven. Wow. It’s been a journey.

Frank Frank posted:

I guarantee you Nathen would be flattered.

Big Beef City posted:

A team of scientists wearing lab coats approach Nathen's door, each with one hand supporting the newest model.
Nervous glances between them, they tentatively open the door. Before them at the desk, he sits resplendent in his One Orange Suit, as if expecting them, though this meeting was not announced.
"Let me see it, please!" He announces, anxiously.
"Sir, it's the latest prototype, we weren't sure if -"
"Come, come! Show me, you know I get so excited to see Him!" Nathen exclaims. "As excited as he ever is," thinks one of the men holding the platter "it never changes."
The team tentatively lowers the object onto the desk before Nathen, who grips his hands together in glee and licks his odd lips. Nearly tearing it away from them, he examines it, his hands run over its surface. Although it is a baking pan, made to resemble a cartoon cat, Nathen examines it with the wonder of an archeologist finding the object of his lifelong search, or a diamond cutter the largest stone creation he has wrought.
The light fades from his perfectly groomed face and the team backs away. Nathen stares through the pan and his brow furrows.
"The eyes..."
"Sir, the eyes, they're what you-"
"THE EYES!" he bellows, standing up suddenly. Nathen bashes the pan against his desk, startling the team members into backing against the far wall of the office.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIS EYES! NO! NO!" At this, he hammers the pan against the desk again. Again. Now he takes it and crushes it against bended knee, but this does nothing. With a series of grunts and the disheveling of his bright orange tie, he tries again to end this newest failure. He throws the pan to the assembled team. One of the men, a balding, thin man with glasses, stoops to pick it up in silence, and quietly, in a slight motion, bends the pan over his own knee. Without either making eye-contact, he hands it back to Nathen, who hurls it into a far corner with the others. Dozens, maybe more failures litter the floor.
"THIS!" Nathen screams, pointing to a portrait of Garfield, identical in every way to the now destroyed pan, "This is what I am asking from you! This..." He trails off, caressing the portrait "...is purrfect."
"But sir, we -"
"LEAVE US NOW!"

Big Beef City posted:

yr new gurlfrand! posted:

Nathan upon finding this thread:

goodog posted:

Either Nathen found this thread or someone paid him $99 on Cameo to do a shout-out.

goodog posted:

Either Nathen found this thread or someone paid him $99 on Cameo to do a shout-out.

goodog posted:

Either Nathen found this thread or someone paid him $99 on Cameo to do a shout-out.

Drunk Nerds posted:

As a dude who cooks... anyone bragging about making a decent-tasting sauce is outing themselves as a basic cooking noob.

Anyone who fails to cook a decent sauce is just... find a new hobby and stop calling your current hibby a career

Bloopsy posted:

Proud member of the Saudi Arabia Forums.

Duckman2008 posted:

I didn’t listen to the audio because it’s late and I don’t want to bother my wife, but if he’s referencing stairs and says “I hope SA doesn’t stand for Saudi Arabia” then that was early in this thread.

It was extremely funny because whomever put him up to it didn’t click that SA would mean Saudi Arabia to him (i wouldn’t have put it tougher either).

BigBadSteve posted:

There's a certain indefinable something about Nathen's presentation when he speaks to the camera. Rather like the psychopath villain in a low budget horror movie.

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

It's the mimicry of human characteristics without actually understanding what human empathy is.

And Mania.

yr new gurlfrand! posted:

https://i.imgur.com/KWzj8gu.mp4

yr new gurlfrand! posted:

https://i.imgur.com/KWzj8gu.mp4

astronautism posted:

Why is he so horny all the time