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Dwight is disappointed to learn that Jim's invitation to come over that evening to "spit roast" Pam is merely an invitation to a threesome rather than cannibalism.
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# ? May 29, 2021 20:27 |
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# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:38 |
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Jim shits into Dwight's mouth. Right into it.
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# ? May 29, 2021 20:28 |
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Jim self-publishes a magazine touting Scranton's SEXIEST Paper-Men. Dwight is absent from it.
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# ? May 29, 2021 20:44 |
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Jim becomes a wiki supermod and overrides all of Dwight's submissions re:beets and karate. He also convinces Dwight that Dwight is part of a very narrow generational subset that predisposed him to have awesome karate and paper skills.
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# ? May 29, 2021 20:47 |
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Man some of these could actually be plots in the office SEASON 9!
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:01 |
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While reaching in his desk for a pen Dwight notices that the drawer is lined with box cutter blades welded to the lip. Jim runs in from behind at a full sprint and kicks the drawer shut severing 2 of Dwight's fingers and degloving the other 2 when his yanks his hand back in shock. Jim mugs at the camera with flecks of blood on his face.
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:03 |
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Jim wears a mask on the back of his head to make Dwight think he is always watching him.
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:09 |
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Jim hires Sexy Strippers to replace the entirety of the office staff. Dwight wonders why his coworkers are suddenly into fitness. Sexy Jim greases the Office Strip-pole and Dwight falls off of it. Sexy Jim tweaks his nippers smugly while looking at the camera.
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:11 |
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Jim promises Dwight he'll make sweet love to him but it's only unenthusiastic jackhammering.
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:15 |
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Jim just stays crouching at the corner of the office until Dwight gets bored of waiting and starts to walk toward him. Jim suddenly leaps through the air, bicycle kicking toward him the whole way
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:18 |
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Knuckle Sammich posted:Jim promises Dwight he'll make sweet love to him but it's only unenthusiastic jackhammering. Jim promises to make up for it by giving Dwight a “gorilla mask.” As Dwight sleeps, Jim shaves off Dwight’s pubes and glues them to his face.
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:19 |
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SilvergunSuperman posted:Man some of these could actually be plots in the office Jim convinces Dwight that he can "Spin Off" from Dunder-Mifflin and become a full-time farmer. Jim tries to extend the prank by convincing tier-two coworkers to visit Dwight's new farm in the hackiest way possible. It doesn't work out, but everybody wastes a week on it anyway.
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# ? May 29, 2021 21:42 |
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Jim wears a baseball mascot costume to work and capers around distractingly while Dwight is trying to work. Dwight tries to call for Michael but his loud objections are drowned out by Jim's airhorn every time. Dwight tries to confront Jim physically but Jim cites a city ordnance that makes it illegal to assault or hinder Scranton's baseball mascot in the performance of his duties.
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# ? May 29, 2021 22:21 |
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Dwight opens his front door one morning and standing there is Jim wearing a tinfoil covered cardboard box robot costume with 'Beet-Bot 3000' written on the front in crayon. Dwight sets Beet-Bot 3000 to work on his crops but Jim knows nothing about farming and ruins everything, then burns down Dwight's house for good measure.
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# ? May 29, 2021 22:28 |
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-Dwight grows mutton chops over his vacation and taunts Jim's lack of facial hair. Jim shows up to work the next day with actual chops of mutton glued to his face. When Dwight mocks him, Jim asks "can your mutton chops do this?" and chows down on the delicious chops. Dwight is forced to admit Jim got the better of him. -Dwight claims he's "never taken a sick day." Jim injects Dwight with live Ebola virus. -It's office Karaoke night. None of the songs Dwight wants to sing are in the Karaoke machine. He goes to his desk to retrieve some of his CDs, but his entire CD collection is missing. When he tries to plug his ipod into the speakers, he discovers his playlist has been wiped. In a fury, Dwight drives to the music store to buy the songs he wants, only to discover that the albums he wants and ONLY the albums he wants were all purchased by "some smirking dude with shaggy hair." Jim mugs the camera.
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# ? May 29, 2021 22:30 |
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Jim convinces Pam to seduce Dwight, and hides in a closet with a camcorder to record it. He puts the tape on Angela's desk and she divorces Dwight
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# ? May 29, 2021 22:34 |
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Jim eats a really stinky cheese sandwich at his desk, much to Dwight’s consternation
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# ? May 29, 2021 22:40 |
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Jim learns that Dwight has trypophobia, so he spends all weekend hiking until his feet are a mass of sores. When Dwight is in the middle of eating lunch, Jim takes off his shoes and socks and shows the pustule-ridden soles of his bare feet to Dwight, prompting Dwight to vomit spectacularly. Several other people who do not have trypophobia also vomit.
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# ? May 29, 2021 22:45 |
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Dwight sees through Jim's attempt to get him with the "hurtsdonnit" joke and brushes him off. After work in the parking lot Jim runs Dwight over in a rental car with a donut taped to the front.
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:11 |
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Jim takes out a pair of underwear filled with chocolate pudding and eats it in front of Dwight.
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:14 |
Jim loudly asks Dwight "yes or no does your mom know you're gay"
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:22 |
Jim says to Dwight "do you want to hear a joke?" Dwight replies back "ok." Jim says "ok then Dwight say knock knock." "Knock knock" says a slightly confused Dwight. "Who's there?" replies Jim as he mugs the camera as Dwight is confused
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:24 |
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Dignity Van Houten posted:Jim loudly asks Dwight "yes or no does your mom know you're gay" The rest of the office thinks that Jim’s joke is a little insensitive, coming the day after after Dwight’s mom died in a car accident.
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:24 |
Jim stands behind Dwight to the right and taps his left shoulder. Dwight looks left as Jim appears on his right, surprising Dwight
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:26 |
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jim involves himself in dwight's entrails
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:29 |
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Jim puts the “ok” symbol below Dwight’s waist. When Dwight sees it Jim gets to punch his arm. Dwight reciprocates later that day, readu to give Jim a good smack. But Jim was ready and snaps a picture with his phone, and uploads the picture of Dwight making the circle sign to the FBI tip line, claiming he thinks he works with a proud boy who stormed the capitol
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:31 |
Jim invents a ray that turns Dwight into a primal ancestor of humans. He gives Dwight to Michael as a gift for his many years of service to Dunder Mifflin.
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:43 |
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Jim fucks Dwight but cums before Dwight reachs orgasm
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:47 |
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Dwight invites the office to a freestyle open mike at a local bar to see him perform his brand of rap he calls Beetboxing. The office of course all show up and get seats at the stage to watch this train wreck. Dwight steps on stage in graffiti stamped coveralls and points at Moses behind the deck to "spin him a beet". Jim looks at the camera with a gleeful smirk. Dwight raps "Yo, I'm DJ Schrute and I'm here to say I grow beets in a Scranton way A Trans Am is my ride With Moses by my side Gonna make Angela be my bride Ima hippin and hoppin Bippin and boppin Pullin beets to make a croppin Jim get off my dick Pullin pranks like a prick The taste of your shaft Makes Pam sick" Dwight then hurls the microphone full force at Jim's head and leaps onto him to repeatedly club his face with a beer bottle. Micheal tries to step in but Dwight yells "TIME TO DROP THE MIKE" and glasses him in the temple. For a very sub-par rap the crowd enjoys the show.
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:51 |
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Jim tells Dwight that he’s transitioning and to please use they/them pronouns. Dwight agrees and meticulously and respectfully addresses Jim as such. Michael tries to make it into a big joke and constantly talks about how manly Jim is and misgenders them. Jim is uneasy but continues on their path, asking to be called “Jimthia” and she/her after a year of transition. Michael breaks out a lot of very dated comedy material and cross dresses in an attempt to get laughs at Jimthia’s situation. Phyllis and Oscar report him to Toby, and HR formally reprimands Michael for insensitivity. Starting as an attempt to be a better ally to Jimthia, Dwight begins to get involved in left wing politics. He is disgusted by Michael’s actions to his friend and no longer sucks up to the boss. Michael goes full on “cancel culture woke mob” after his reprimand and the office environment is incredibly hostile. A massive economic downturn occurs and he demands ever increasing amounts of hours and sales from the increasingly angry staff. When The Revolution happens, Jimthia and Dwight nod to each other as they ziptie Michael’s hands behind his back. They March outside to a huge throng of comrades and present their Manager, a worthless bourgeois parasite to the People’s Tribunal. The verdict - death by beheading. The guillotine is encased in gelatin. Jimthia mugs the camera.
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:58 |
Jim seduces both Dunder and Mifflin and convinces them to indefinitely suspend Dwight without pay as a condition of his sexual favors
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# ? May 29, 2021 23:59 |
jim ruins dwight's orgasm
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# ? May 30, 2021 00:22 |
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happyhippy posted:Jim shits into Dwight's mouth. Dwight gets back at Jim by peeing in his mouth. But the joke is on Dwight as he puts a baby in Jim's tummy and now must pay child support.
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:12 |
Jim is crying so hard all day and everyone thinks it's a huge prank on Dwight and Jim does not receive the emotional support he needed that day and was careful to never be so vulnerable at work again and to "hang it up at the door."
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:26 |
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Jim glances out the window and jumps with exaggerated fright. "Wolf! There's a wolf outside! Quick, everybody!" Dwight leads the charge as the entire office gang rushes outside to chase off the predator, but they find nothing. Returning glumly upstairs, they see Jim laughing hysterically as he rolls on his back, clutching his belly. "It was a prank! There was no wolf!" he explains with undisguised mirth. The next day, in the middle of a boring meeting in the conference room, Jim does it again. "Wolf! I swear that this time there really is a wolf outside! Quick, everybody, outside!" and sure enough, Dwight again leads the charge to find the non-existent wolf. Returning to the conference room, they find Jim crying with laughter about how he tricked them a second time. The third day, as Jim is walking toward the office, he hears a strange noise. The bushes next to the parking lot begin to rustle. Jim cries for help, but nobody comes. Ryan jumps out and beats Jim mercilessly with an aluminum baseball bat. "You just WUPHF'd yourself," he spits at Jim's unconscious body.
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:34 |
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Jim legally adopts Mose. He is now Moses Halpert.
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:34 |
Jim challenges Dwight to a footrace to prove who is the fastest in Scranton, expecting to win easily. Indeed it looks like he will, as he easily outruns Dwight. He's so far ahead, in fact, that he stops to take a nap. Dwight refuses to give up, however, running slowly but with great determination. He even takes the lead as he passes a sleeping Jim, who continues to snore like a chainsaw Dwight is nearly at the finish when he hears footsteps. He refuses to turn back and look with victory in sight, but it doesn't matter. Jim passes by him running backwards, energized from his midrace nap, smirking and shrugging as he passes Dwight. Dwight attempts to summon a final burst of speed to catch Jim, but his weak legs fail and he falls face down in the dirt and even cuts his nipple on a rock Everyone in the office cheers for speedy Jim and they carry him out on their shoulders. Dwight mournfully crawls back to his car in tears without ever crossing the finish line, leaving second place permanently vacant
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:43 |
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Jim brings an Amish man named Mose to meet Dwight because, quote, "He has, like, the same name as your dog." Jim mugs for the camera as Dwight has a psychotic break trying to reconcile he thinks are memories with the memories seeing this man has brought to the surface.
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:51 |
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Jim convinces Dwight to try posting some of his jokes in fyad
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# ? May 30, 2021 01:52 |
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# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:38 |
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Jim adds a nickel to Dwight's phone handset every few days, gradually increasing the weight so that Dwight doesn't notice. He keeps doing this until Dwight's phone weighs 6000lbs. Then the next day he removes all the weight. When Dwight next answers his phone he punches his own head off.
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# ? May 30, 2021 03:49 |