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Jim finds a portal in the annex where he can enter Dwight's mind and long story short Jim becomes trapped in the mind of the lovechild of Angela-In-Dwight's-Body and Pam.
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May 31, 2021 03:50
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| # ? May 14, 2024 18:56 |
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Dwight can't stop yawning as he didn't sleep well last night because of the nightmares he has about coming into the office and so he goes to make himself a coffee in the break room but Jim has replaced all the regular coffee with decaf causing Dwight to be so tired. Dwight falls asleep when driving home from work, veering off the road and plowing into a bus stop, killing Erin. A heartbroken Andy hangs himself in the office. Stanley inherits Andy’s accounts and overworked, drops dead of a heart attack in the middle of the day. On the way to Stanley's funeral a deer runs into the road causing Oscar to swerve into a tree, killing him, Kevin, Ryan and Kelly. A depressed Angela overdoses on sleeping pills. Creed is promoted to sales, and driven mad by the pressure shoots Meredith and takes his own life. Michael, rendered unhinged by the loss of his work family, begins to laugh and can’t stop, starving to death as his hoarse laughter echoes through his condo. The next day, Dwight sits in his chair, surrounded by the empty office, shell shocked. Jim looks at Pam and grins. Owlspiracy fucked around with this message at 04:00 on May 31, 2021 |
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May 31, 2021 03:53
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Jim loans Dwight a video that he says is Pam on the toilet but really it's the cursed video from The Ring causing Dwight to have only one week left to live. Jim crawls out of the camera and mugs at you.
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May 31, 2021 03:55
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Jim tells Dwight that a band of dangerous thieves have been breaking into the bathrooms of local businesses at night and stealing toilet paper. Alarmed, Dwight installs security cameras in the bathrooms, hoping to catch the thieves in the back. When reviewing the day's footage the next day, Dwight catches a glimpse of Meredith urinating and claws out his own eyes.
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May 31, 2021 03:59
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After Michael leaves the branch, Jim engages in a complex ruse to convince Dwight that there had been no Michael, and the entire office was instead humoring Dwight's years-long psychotic break. Jim pulls out Dwight's birth certificate, which reads "Dwight Michael Schrute". He reveals Mose to be an in-house psychiatric worker, and Angela is, in fact, his mother. Unsure of what is real anymore, Dwight slowly eats a ream of paper. Pam mugs the camera as a stream of blood falls from Jim's nose. Meredith is taken to the hospital for severe bacterialvaginosis.
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May 31, 2021 04:02
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Jim quits and becomes a cop so he can harass and assault Dwight with no consequences. He also starts abusing Pam but that's not part of the prank
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May 31, 2021 04:03
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Jim takes Dwight camping so he can finally get some decent sleep in the peace and quiet of nature however just before sleepy time Jim tells a really scary campfire story which keeps Dwight awake causing him to have a bad nightmare and a poor night's sleep.
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May 31, 2021 04:09
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Jim divorces Pam and begins sleeping with Meredith any chance he can, attracted to Meredith's raw sexuality and great cans. They often have animalistic sex right on top of Jim's desk in full view of Dwight.
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May 31, 2021 04:16
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Jim organizes a gangstalking of Dwight causing him to have a comedic outburst at work.
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May 31, 2021 04:17
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Dwight becomes jealous of all the sleep Jim and Meredith are getting.
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May 31, 2021 04:17
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Also every time I or anyone has said Meredith I thought we were talking about Phyllis. I really don't know dick about this dumbshit show.
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May 31, 2021 04:19
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Jim hides in the toilet stall, waiting. As soon as Dwight enters and pulls down his pants, Jim performs a kancho maneuver right into Dwight's exposed butthole
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May 31, 2021 04:30
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Owlspiracy posted:the best part if you look at dwight's 'pranks' on jim they are actually somehow worse, like ... stealing his credit card number Ehhh, I loved this prank: Jim loudly reads his new credit card # in front of Dwight, in attempt to get Dwight to prank him after the manager threatened to take away the bonus of anyone who pranks the other again... Dwight uses the credit card number to order Pam a $250 bouquet of flowers from Jim.
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May 31, 2021 04:33
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At the annual office talent show, Jim gets up and does standup comedy that plays to his strengths: easy, lazy observational comedy. Following him, Dwight gets on stage and begins to concentrate. After a full minute of silence, he gets on a unicycle and then begins to juggle. While juggling balanced on one wheel, Dwight sings a beautiful aria. Nobody knows whether to clap and laugh in incredulous amazement or to weep at the song that cuts to the soul. When he finishes, Dwight takes a modest bow. The entire office congratulates Dwight and praises his performance until Jim gets pouty and jealous. Jim becomes so sulky that people have to offer half-hearted praise of his crappy job whenever they talk about Dwight’s spectacular show.
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May 31, 2021 04:45
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Jim runs for office and after much convincing, gains the support and vote of Dwight. When Jim wins office, he fails to represent Dwight's best interest and does not follow through with any promises.
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May 31, 2021 05:10
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Jim uses a spray bottle on Dwight every day at random intervals. No one stops him. Dwight is visibly holding back tears by the end of the day.
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May 31, 2021 06:18
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Jim holds his hand out, open palm and yells "high five" Dwight instinctively gives him a high five. Jim holds his hand out a little higher and yells "up high" Dwight, curious and amused, returns the high five. Jim lowers his hand this time towards the ground and yells "down low" But this time as Dwight attempts to return the high five, he's surprised and humiliated as Jim retracts his hand at the last second, causing Dwight to high five only air. Dwight is furious and seeing red. As his vision begins to grow dark the last thing he hears is Jim's soft chuckle as he proclaims "too slow"
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May 31, 2021 07:40
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Jim switches Dwight's right testicle with his nose, causing Dwight the double whammy of being forced to smell his own butthole and suffer humiliation of his co-workers calling him "ball nose" and pointing and laughing
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May 31, 2021 07:43
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TheIncredulousHulk posted:Jim quits and becomes a cop so he can harass and assault Dwight with no consequences. He also starts abusing Pam but that's not part of the prank jim turns off the body camera
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May 31, 2021 09:45
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Jim switches Dwight’s left and right testicle, causing all of Dwight’s children to be born left-handed. To the eugenics-obsessed Dwight, this is a shame he cannot bear. He voluntarily submits to chemical castration rather than spread his “disgusting sinister genes.” Jim mugs at the camera and then takes a sip of coffee, holding the mug in his left hand.
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May 31, 2021 14:03
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Dwight enters Mose into the Special Olympics, helping him train and being genuinely supportive in helping Mose succeed despite his autism and learning disabilities. Jim enters the competition by pretending to be disabled, stealing the gold medal from Mose.
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May 31, 2021 14:43
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Jim cultivates an understated appreciation of Anime. After months, Dwight is finally suckered into asking about it, receiving a beautiful haiku in perfect Japanese delivered by "Jeemu-sama" Moved by this display, Dwight agrees to have dinner at Jim's while they watch a new show that Jim raves about. After dinner, Dwight settles into a special Viewing Couch. He soon finds that his limbs feel like noodles. "Settle in, Dwight. I think you're in for a treat... this bones called Boku no Pi--" Dwight screams, but the absent grin on his face is all that is left.
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May 31, 2021 14:52
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Over lunch, Dwight has a conversation with his coworker Jim about the camera crews that will be coming to their office in Scranton to shoot a documentary about Tom, a depressed coworker of theirs who killed himself, and how it impacted the office culture. Neither of them think highly of the documentary, especially because they know their boss will try to hijack it into a parody of self-aggrandizing behavior. Jim pitches that they should lean into that—play up their personalities for the camera until the crew decides to make the documentary instead about their weird office culture. Dwight likes the idea—they already have a friendly rivalry, with Jim pranking him every so often, and that'll be catnip for the cameras. Jim will up the effort of the pranks and Dwight will sell them with his intense frustrations. Both men find the idea hilarious and know that Michael is too self-absorbed to realize this behavior is off. The camera crew arrives and, as planned, Jim plays up his impishness and Dwight becomes comically affronted and sycophantic, his outrage pairs with Jim mugging for the camera like a prepared comedy routine. The crew, unaware of how obviously they're being played, loves it, and especially with Michael, they easily decide to abandon the suicide angle. Dwight and Jim enjoy taking the documentarians for a ride, but at some point, Dwight realizes that they keep going further and further... and stranger in their prank on the documentarians. The pranks go further, the situations at work become more absurd, and Dwight didn't really think a lot of these were his and Jim's doing, particularly as their fellow co-workers also start playing things up for the camera. Worse, people start disappearing. Long time co-workers just... stop showing up and nobody even comments on them. Were they ever there? Where would their desks even have fit? And the cameras don't leave—in fact, they start following them more than ever. How much footage do they need, what is this documentary even about and how does the office keep changing? Jim can't take it anymore and transfers out, but, of course, the cameras follow him to Stamford where it's only a matter of time before he's drawn back to Scranton. Through bizarre and comical circumstances, of course. Many new coworkers come to Scranton in the merger, but they are swiftly whittled down, and Dwight can't help but think it was because the documentarians didn't want them. One of them leaves for a while, then comes back with a new personality and character, one much wackier and more likable to the cameras. Jim and Pam get married as Dwight realizes nobody seems to have relationships outside the office anymore. He's sleeping with Angela, Michael finds love with an HR rep, and Andy's interested in Erin who's also interested in various other men, all of whom are coworkers. This isn't normal. This isn't natural. It's not right. And the cameras are to blame. Dwight goes to confront them, but realizes that the cameras have become such a background presence in his life, they've become difficult to actually perceive. For years, they've followed him, at work, in his love life, even in his home, and they've become just an invisible, omnipresent perspective, the all-powerful observer of Foucault, or how a young Dwight imagined God. He attends an all-hands meeting to learn about Dunder-Mifflin/Sabre's new Space Program. How does this relate to a paper company? It doesn't matter—the cameras love it. There is a drawing, and Dwight is selected to be their first Mifflonaut (Kevin came up with the name). Heading to the front of the room, Dwight feels a sharp lance of pain nanoseconds before the hideous CLANK of a bear trap snapping shut on his leg. He winces in comical pain—he can't even express pain correctly anymore—as he turns to Jim, mugging for the- Wait. That's it! The cameras- the only proof of the cameras is when Jim mugs for them, telling Dwight exactly where they are! In a bellow of rage, Dwight leaps at the monsters who've warped and distorted their lives, using his friend's sight as a guide, and as his fingers close around plastic, he knows he is victorious, seizing the camera from the hands of what he now sees is a terrified and bewildered man. But only for a moment. Because Dwight takes the camera and bashes it down, again and again, until all that's left is a bloody pulp where the man's face used to be. The rest of the crew screams in horror, but now that they are perceived once more, the rest of the office rises up, bellowing in rage. Stanley screams for his marriage, undone by uncharacteristic infidelity to create a hokey plot. Pam grabs a boom mic operator by the neck, strangling him as she demands to know why she couldn't become an artist. Merideth vents her fury for all the pain she's endured by inflicting even more upon the men who were once gods to this office. Soon, they're all dead. All of them. But somehow, Dwight suspects, there will be no police investigation, no prosecution for murder. Oscar and Angela help bandage his wounded leg while Phyllis helps Kevin come to terms with suddenly regaining forty IQ points. But the pain is nothing, a small price for freedom. Jim comes over, offering his sincere apologies, but Dwight shakes his head. "If you hadn't... I'd never have known where they were." He grins. Jim, his friend and coworker, smiles back, seeming for the first time in nearly a decade to be the man Dwight knew again. "I guess the real prank was on them!" he adds, and Dwight laughs, giddy from his victory. But his laughter doesn't last. Not for long. Because Dwight sees something horrible, something that tells him that his nightmare is not yet over. He watches as Jim mugs for a new camera.
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May 31, 2021 18:35
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Dwight sees a brand new lead for paper sales on the ground, but when he bends down to pick it up, it jerks away, revealing that it was attached to a string that Jim had in his hands.
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May 31, 2021 18:35
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Precambrian posted:Over lunch, Dwight has a conversation with his coworker Jim about the camera crews that will be coming to their office in Scranton...
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May 31, 2021 19:05
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Jim challenges Dwight to a match of Warhammer 40k and uses a cheese strat. Dwight cannot handle this.
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May 31, 2021 19:11
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FilthyImp posted:This belongs in the Op along with the story of Dwight al-shroot Agreed OP add this pls
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May 31, 2021 19:20
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Applewhite goes to update the OP, only to find it encased in jello. "JEFFRY!" he yells as he storms off to QCS.
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May 31, 2021 19:56
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jim posts chipmunk pornography at the camera
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May 31, 2021 21:14
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Precambrian posted:Over lunch, Dwight has a conversation with his coworker Jim about the camera crews that will be coming to their office. So good
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May 31, 2021 21:34
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Jim pantses Dwight as he stands up to address a meeting about break room refrigerator etiquette and Dwight is fired for sexual misconduct
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May 31, 2021 21:44
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Precambrian posted:
5'd again
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May 31, 2021 22:30
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim posts chipmunk pornography at the camera Dwight, Michael, Andy, and Creed all consecutively get fired for loudly defending the chipmunk porn.
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May 31, 2021 22:37
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Dwight attempts to convince Jim that his mugging for the camera is the sign of a neurodegenerative condition. Jim pushes Dwight onto the floor and pisses on his face in full view of everyone. There is no mugging.
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May 31, 2021 22:39
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Dwight discovers the Fortress of Solitude in the basement of the Dunder-Mifflin office; doesn't realize Jim has been slipping Mercury into his morning coffee for weeks. Dwight dies alone of poisoning over the weekend when he starts putting rat poisons in his mouth. No one notices for weeks.
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May 31, 2021 22:46
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Jim grows frequently more and more frustrated when he sees Dwight making great sales for Dunder-Mifflin, which Jim feels is a waste of Dwight's obvious potential. So he plays a small prank on Dwight to try and make him loosen up a little and hopefully inspire Dwight to do something other than sell paper. It doesn't work, and so Jim tries another prank. And then another, and another, and another, each time the prank increasing in complexity and severity. Until, ultimately, one of Jim's pranks leaves Dwight broken and bloody on the ground. Seeing Dwight in such a sorry, pathetic state brings all of Jim's anger and frustration bubbling forth. "Why did you make me do this?" Jim bellows, "You're selling so you can watch everyone around you get laid off! Think, Dwight! You'll outlast every stupid, inept salesman in this office. You'll live to see this company crumble to dust and blow away! Everyone and everything you know will be gone! What will you have after 500 sales?!" Dwight coughs weakly and struggles to get a few words. "Y-you, Jim.... I'd still have you..." Those words cut straight to Jim's heart, and he looks at his bloody hands with a mixture of shock, anger, shame, regret, and finally, resignation as Jim leaves the office never to be seen again.
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May 31, 2021 22:58
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In the middle of a staff meeting Dwight collapses and is rushed to the hospital. The diagnosis is grim: Dwight is in acute liver failure and needs a liver transplant to survive. Everyone at the office feels guilty - they should've noticed the signs earlier, the jaundiced eyes, but they all assumed it was just a shadow cast by Dwight's mustard yellow shirt. Desperate to save their coworker and friend, each Dunder Mifflin employee is tested to see if they're able to be a living donor, even Meredith, despite decades of heavy drinking. Salvation arrives: there's a close enough match, Jim, who flew in from Houston just to be tested. Despite the years of playful animosity between them, Jim doesn't hesitate, and offers Dwight a piece of his liver. A tearful Dwight, overcome by emotion that he rarely expresses accepts: remembering all the ways Jim has helped him - he planned his Bachelor Party, rescued him from losing his job at Sabre, comes to understand that Jim is more than a friend, more than a coworker; he's a brother. The transplant is successful and after a long recovery Dwight returns to work. But something is changed. On his second day back he feels a compulsion to do something he's never done before: play a prank on Andy. At first he dismisses it. He's probably just tired - he's on so much medication now, and he's still in pain from the surgery. But every day the compulsion grows. He starts having vivid dreams, imagining objects covered in Jello, desks made of wrapping paper, and faxes from the future. One night he awakens to find himself standing in the Dunder Mifflin office with no recollection of how he got there. In front of him is Stanley's phone, in pieces, and filled with quarters. Terrified, he quickly reassembles the phone and drives home, dread growing in the back of his mind: something is wrong. Very wrong. Finally, after months of sleepless nights, he gives in. He comes into office early one morning and changes Phyllis's ringtone to a dog barking. He feels a relief at first, but it abates: there's something left to be done. A new compulsion. Dwight feels his body reacting of its own accord - he's trapped inside, observing, a passenger as his neck slowly turns and his face transform into a leering, sinister grin, mugging at a camera that's not there.
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May 31, 2021 23:37
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Jim creates a crude likeness of Dwight and keeps in a jar. We all know why. Dwight never finds out.
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May 31, 2021 23:55
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mind the walrus posted:Jim creates a crude likeness of Dwight and keeps in a jar. We all know why. Dwight never finds out. Where is the jar stored?
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Jun 1, 2021 00:14
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Who What Now posted:Where is the jar stored? On Toby's radiator
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Jun 1, 2021 00:16
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