PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

«‹›3861 »

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

Cocaine Bear posted:

I used to burn mixes all the time.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 17:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 02:53

drunkb: Aug 14, 2009; The Great Twist

dumb. posted:

Last page, but I don't care. That is hilarious.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 18:20

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Cocaine Bear posted:

Burnt you that new Ligma Biscuit

# ? Jun 2, 2021 18:39

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Data Graham posted:

Don't make me tell my "Russians don't drink vodka anymore" story again

Well then link your former post at least!

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:04

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Son of Rodney posted:

Well then link your former post at least!

Data Graham posted:

I may have mentioned this before here or somewhere, and this is totally anecdotal and may not even be true, but here it is with whatever salt it requires.

A few years ago I went to a coworker's wedding, which because he's Russian was in Little Odessa in the upstairs reception room of a nice Russian restaurant in Brighton Beach. There seemed to be an unusually heavy presence of coat checkers and people to verify identities, and when I got in there I wondered just what kind of connections this guy was into because all his side of the family was these big hulking guys who all looked like they worked as bouncers. (The bride's family was all Korean.) The proceedings were very well funded and there was food of all kinds freely flowing, from sushi arrangements on ice to foie gras over puff pastry, and though the whole ceremony was literally in Russian I at least felt like there was much fun to be had.

Anyway I ended up at a table with about 7-8 of these big galoots who barely spoke English but who were determined to make my acquaintance. The table was covered with bottles of all kinds, from Hennessy to gin to rum and of course a bunch of vodka of multiple brands. But what I thought was interesting was that the guys were drinking anything and everything on the table EXCEPT the vodka. Several bottles of like Gray Goose and Belvedere, which just sat there unopened. They were mostly going for the Hennessy and tequila, and after maybe the third round of shots I asked them why they weren't drinking the vodka.

"Russians do not drink vodka anymore", they told me quite seriously.

Ever since about 2000, they all firmly and solemnly agreed, all vodka has had something wrong with it somehow. "It tastes burnt," they said. I think they suggested that some of the home-market stuff is still okay, but everything made for international sale is "burnt" and unfit for consumption, at least by Russians. So it's cognac and tequila all the way for them.

I have no idea how seriously to take that information, but it sure did make an impression on me. And I wasn't about to argue with those guys.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:20

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Data Graham posted:

https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/countries-who-consume-the-most-vodka.html

quote:

According to data from the Euromonitor, Russia was ranked as the leading country in vodka consumption per capita in the world with the average monthly consumption per person in the country being estimated to be 17.28 shots.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:24

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

*pushes glasses up nose* Well actually Vlad, it says here on my phone that

:v:

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:26

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

And I'm sure that for some subjective interpretation of what "russians" means to them it's true, but people who live in the geographic area that is russia seem to drink a tremendous amount of vodka regardless of what they say.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:29

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

The story and the stat are basically consistent since they said more or less that import vodka to the US doesn't taste as good as the best stuff at home.

Especially with a table of upmarket vodkas I'm going for the other drinks because upmarket vodka tastes like stuff on purpose as brand differentiation while good vodka doesn't taste like anything.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:31

Scaramouche: Mar 26, 2001; SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

I had a Russian co-worker who I was pretty tight with, and he would never ever drink shelf brand vodka like Smirnoff. Like to the point of starting a fuss if someone served it to him accidentally, making very clear when he orders not to get it, etc. Said it wasn't vodka. We'd split grey goose, Belvedere, etc at the duty free on work trips no problem though.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:33

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Lol, there's no such thing as top shelf vodka. It's just vodka that's gone through a carbon filter a few extra times. Vodka ain't exactly a complex thing.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:35

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Yeah I mean, I wasn't about to pop one of them open myself, since the only purpose it serves is to get drunk in as businesslike a manner as possible, and quibbling about flavor seems very misdirected when literally anything else on the table presented a better opportunity for tasting new things

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:41

Phosphine: May 30, 2011; WHY, JUDY?! WHY?!
🤰🐰🆚🥪🦊

My old boss was Russian, and he was absolutely fine with Absolut. He said any vodka that claims to have a flavor is bad, and the more like hand sanitizer it smells the better.

I've had the opportunity to try enough different vodkas that I'm inclined to agree.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 21:41

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Cocaine Bear posted:

Lol, there's no such thing as top shelf vodka. It's just vodka that's gone through a carbon filter a few extra times. Vodka ain't exactly a complex thing.

While not as varied in palettes as whiskeys or rums, there definitely are very good, upmarket vodkas that you can tell are much better than the regular supermarket brands. E.g. Tsarskaya is very good, and so is some stuff from Iceland, Estonia or Finland. In terms of price-quality I would say Moskovskaya/Stolichnaya used to be the best, but you can't find it anywhere in Belgium anymore because I believe there was a distributor problem from Russia.

While on the topic, Grey Goose is good, but way too expensive for what it is. It's French, by the way. France turns out to be pretty decent at manufacturing and mass-marketing both middle- and top-end segment vodkas.

Phosphine posted:

My old boss was Russian, and he was absolutely fine with Absolut. He said any vodka that claims to have a flavor is bad, and the more like hand sanitizer it smells the better.

I've had the opportunity to try enough different vodkas that I'm inclined to agree.

This too. poo poo like Zubrowka or honey-infused vodka is just vodka for people who don't like vodka. It's nice as a novelty for sure, but it isn't proper vodka. My problem with Absolut is that it's ridiculously expensive for its paltry quality. It's definitely not better than Smirnoff, Eristoff or Poliakov and the like, and the latter three are much more affordable.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 22:19

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Data Graham posted:

Don't make me tell my "Russians don't drink vodka anymore" story again

Pfffft. Next you'll tell me the Scottish don't drink whiskey!

# ? Jun 2, 2021 22:24

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Who What Now posted:

Pfffft. Next you'll tell me the Americans don't drink piss!

# ? Jun 2, 2021 22:28

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

just get the fuckin plastic 1.75L like a normal adult

# ? Jun 2, 2021 22:28

Stretch Marx: Apr 29, 2008; I'm ok with this.

What defines a good vodka is by how much it burns when you drink it. The more times it is filtered, the less it burns. You can basically drink Gray Goose straight.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:06

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

lol why would you choose Grey Goose, a legendarily dogshit vodka that puts all their money in marketing

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:13

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Who What Now posted:

Pfffft. Next you'll tell me the Scottish don't drink whiskey!

It's true. They drink whisky.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:17

freeedr: Feb 21, 2005

kiimo posted:

lol why would you choose Grey Goose, a legendarily dogshit vodka that puts all their money in marketing

I don�t have a dog in the race, but I want to know what you subjectively think is good so that someone else can come in and poo poo on it and the cycle can continue

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:21

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

I'm a big fan of Chopin

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:22

dialhforhero: Apr 3, 2008; Am I 🧑‍🏫 out of touch🤔? No🧐, it's the children👶 who are wrong🤷🏼‍♂️

I only get vodka for white russians.

Gin, now gin is the real deal.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:23

djssniper: Jan 10, 2003

ultrafilter posted:

It's true. They drink whisky.

and you'll pretty much start a fight saying the Scottish, not the Scots

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:25

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

Yeah vodka is drunk ice cold and 100mls at a time and has to feel like oily, very slightly sharp water going down

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:34

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Stretch Marx posted:

What defines a good vodka is by how much it burns when you drink it. The more times it is filtered, the less it burns. You can basically drink Gray Goose straight.

Lmao you sound like an American, or a 14-year-old.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:35

Velocity Raptor: Jul 27, 2007; I MADE A PROMISE
I'LL DO ANYTHING

dialhforhero posted:

I only get vodka for white russians.

Gin, now gin is the real deal.

I tried gin once. Wasn't a fan. Tasted like Christmas. Sambuca, now... That's where it's at

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:45

Rysithusiku: Nov 10, 2013; Witness the assless man and despair!
All futures point to a world of filled holes.

Most gin tastes like motorboating a forest

# ? Jun 2, 2021 23:55

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Rysithusiku posted:

Most gin tastes like motorboating a forest

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:08

Dewgy: Nov 10, 2005; ~🚚special delivery~📦

Velocity Raptor posted:

I tried gin once. Wasn't a fan. Tasted like Christmas. Sambuca, now... That's where it's at

It�s like a handful of Good n Plentys that fucks you up real good. And it�s flammable!

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:27

Azathoth Prime: Feb 20, 2004; Free 2nd day shipping on all eldritch horrors.

By all means, let's have yet another derail where some Goons get snobby about someone elses food/drink choices and other Goons get mad about it.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:29

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

I only drink sambuca

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:41

Mr. Crow: May 22, 2008; Snap City mayor for life

LifeSunDeath posted:

Burnt you that new Ligma Biscuit

Haven't heard of them, they any good?

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:51

HelloIAmYourHeart: Dec 29, 2008; Fallen Rib

Azathoth Prime posted:

By all means, let's have yet another derail where some Goons get snobby about someone elses food/drink choices and other Goons get mad about it.

By all means, post a funny picture instead.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 00:57

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

Azathoth Prime posted:

By all means, let's have yet another derail where some Goons get snobby about someone elses food/drink choices and other Goons get mad about it.

Before this derail is over I don't give a poo poo what you drink. Sometimes I'll down a vodka sold at Trader Joe's for 6 dollars called Burnette's. It is fine whatever.

but it isn't snobbery to correct someone calling Grey Goose a good vodka it isn't one

# ? Jun 3, 2021 01:06

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

A pickleback consisting of a shot of fireball followed by a chaser shot of jalapeno brine really clears the sinuses.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 01:16

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I like absinthe because it tastes like wood and burns as it goes down so you can fulfill all your Moses/Burning Bush vore fantasies with a single shot.

# ? Jun 3, 2021 01:28