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Solitair
Feb 18, 2014

TODAY'S GONNA BE A GOOD MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY!!!

MiiNiPaa posted:

Oh, the cause of my second day 1 reset is finally here.

Oh, you too?

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Quackles
Aug 11, 2018

Pixels of Light.


Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:

This is Hod in her younger, wilder days. High on that movie director star power and doing enkephalin off of some clerk's rear end in the Training breakroom. Before it all comes crashing down.

Don't worry though she'll come back later all sober and cleaned up, telling us about the power of JesusWhite Night.

:golfclap:

SL the Pyro
Jun 16, 2013

My soul cries out
with the desire to
FRACTURE
your puny spine.


what do you mean that hotkey disappeared
I'm certain there's at least one horribly unfortunate soul who grabbed both Army in Black and Plague Doctor early on and had them both reveal their true nature at the same moment.

The Lord of Hats
Aug 22, 2010

Hello, yes! Is being very good day for posting, no?

SL the Pyro posted:

I'm certain there's at least one horribly unfortunate soul who grabbed both Army in Black and Plague Doctor early on and had them both reveal their true nature at the same moment.

I choose to believe it happened the same day they added the train to their facility.

BisbyWorl
Jan 12, 2019

Knowledge is pain plus observation.


It just dawned on me.

Army in Black is the Legendary Super ZAYIN.

TGG
Aug 8, 2003

"I Dare."

BisbyWorl posted:

It just dawned on me.

Army in Black is the Legendary Super ZAYIN.

I love this loving thread, god damnit!

the Orb of Zot
Jun 25, 2013

Apport: the Orb of Zot
The orb shrieks as your magic touches it!
Yoink! You pull the item towards yourself.
You see here the Orb of Zot.

SL the Pyro posted:

I'm certain there's at least one horribly unfortunate soul who grabbed both Army in Black and Plague Doctor early on and had them both reveal their true nature at the same moment.

I mean Army in Black reveals it’s true nature the second you work on it, since 30 e-boxes and -6% overload penalty are blatant signs that it’s an ALEPH
It just lies when you start unlocking info

tithin
Nov 14, 2003


[Grandmaster Tactician]



the Orb of Zot posted:

I mean Army in Black reveals it’s true nature the second you work on it, since 30 e-boxes and -6% overload penalty are blatant signs that it’s an ALEPH
It just lies when you start unlocking info

Nah mate, it's a Zayin.

e: in fact you could say it's amaZayin

Shaezerus
Mar 24, 2008

God? Or perhaps a devil?
Show me which you'll choose!

TeeQueue posted:

Now, if you'll pardon me, there's urgent business to attend to-I must tend to this situation and determine if we shall require another new Paul.

All subsequent Abnormality training videos found within the facility have a notable drop in quality due to a number of Agents' amateur attempts to replicate the format, with or without their Sephirot. This particular set, which we refer to as the "Better Call Y'all" series,

eternaldough
Jan 16, 2017

Granted, if you had just started the game recently and haven't gotten acquainted with many higher-tier abnormalities, and also unlucky enough to take in Army In Black, you might think its massive number of boxes is just 'wow some of them take a long time' and little else. One might also think its just the tradeoff for the defensive boosts it provides (which I guess is technically true regardless).

TeeQueue
Oct 9, 2012

The time has come. Soon, the bell shall ring. A new world will come. Rise, my servants. Rise and serve me. I am death and life. Darkness and light.
X-394 is a big facility, full of mysterious creatures known as Abnormalities. Many of these Abnormalities can do very bad things if they're handled improperly, and it's vitally important that our agents know just what may happen if they're careless. What's a manager to do?



Episode 28: Snow White's Apple + Clouded Monk

Music: trailer


Hi! I'm Paul! Just your everyday plucky employee of Lobotomy Cobotomy, here today to talk about Snow White's Apple and Clouded Monk! We'll begin with the Apple, if that's okay with you Miss Hod!

Of course it is! I'm glad to see you're feeling better now, Paul.

Of course I am, Miss Hod! These Abnormalities make sense! That Army fellow just made my head all hurty!



Snow White's Apple is a WAW-level Abnormality, taking the form of an apple setting atop a princessly outfit.

It's very regal, and certainly conjures the image of its namesake!

Despite-or maybe because of-its regal bearing, it's a very temperamental Abnormality. Its Qliphoth Counter is only 1, and its Qliphoth Counter can be reduced by either a Normal or Bad work.

So it likes to breach just as much as Abnormalities like King of Greed, right?

That's right, Paul!

So what happens when she breaches?



Upon breaching, Snow White's Apple moves to a random corridor in the facility, and begins to fill it with vines.

Oh! I know what those are! They're those funny videos of cats people post on the internet, right Miss Hod?



Not that kind of vine, Paul! This is the normal kind. While she's growing these vines, she deals Black damage to all employees within them.

That's a lot less fun than cat videos and musical memery, Miss Hod!



Employees who die due to this effect are also impaled upon vines, becoming part of the thicket.

Wowsers! And I thought every rose had its thorn! I guess apples do too, huh?

They sure do, Paul. She'll remain in a hallway until either it's full of vines, or a certain period of time has passed.

What happens then, Miss Hod?



She disappears and reappears in another hallway, just like before.

Wait… is that Talow again? Hasn't he died like three times already?

Oh, Paul! I don't think you're in any position to think too hard about how many times someone dies, right?

Haha, I guess you're right Miss Hod! I've only bitten the big one about sixty or seventy times now, after all!



The Apple will continue its pattern like so, until she's suppressed. Despite her only targeting one hallway at a time, however, it's vital that it be handled as quickly as possible.

Because she can kill so many clerks?

It's not that, Paul-its vines will stick around even after its suppressed.

Oh no! Does that mean more damage?

Thankfully, no. However, it does still slow down our employees who are trying to walk through it.



Undulating underbrush, that looks like a big movement speed penalty, Miss Hod!

The vines are cleared out at the end of the day, but until then they'll remain a hazard that will slow our employees down as they go about their work.

Is there anything else to know, Miss Hod?

Not at all! Snow White's Apple is, thankfully, simple. Unlike our next featured Abnormality…

Oh boy! I smell a segue..!



Clouded Monk, or Honored Monk, is a WAW Abnormality which takes the form of a monk. While in containment, it will heal 15 SP to any agent who completes Insight work with it.

Wow! Between that and the 3 on its counter, it feels much nicer than Snow White's Apple!

I wouldn't be so sure of that, Paul. Like Apple, its counter can go down from Neutral or Bad work results-but also...

Also? Also is never good!

Every time ten employees die in the facility, its counter reduces itself by one! Additionally, should Yin ever enter the hallway its cell is in, its counter will reduce instantly to zero.

Wowsers! Seems like the old man's pretty temperamental after all! So what happens when he's provoked?

Oh, that much is easy to explain!



It becomes a demon.

A demon?!



A demon.

Cripes! That is creepy!

While in this form, the Monk has a few attacks it can select from.



Primarily, it can attack employees with a swipe of its arms.

Hah! That only half killed me! You'll have to do better than that, you silly Abnormality!



Don't you worry about that, Paul. It can also pause in order to charge energy for a moment. When this happens, it's important to be cautious.

Oh man, this is some sort of super attack, isn't it?



Very perceptive! The Monk opens its mouth wide, and charges forward to the end of the hallway or room it's in.

And what happens if it hits someone?



Yowie wowie! I'm a meal!

That's right! It eats the first thing it runs into. This heals it, as well as deals massive damage to the target. When it begins charging, it's vitally important for the Manager to move everyone in front of it either out of the room or behind the Abnormality.



Luckily, it isn't a particularly difficult target for a capable Manager like the one here at Lobotomy Corporation's main branch! As long as he keeps all these tips in mind, no Clouded Monk will be able to stop the sunshine of progress!

You're right, Miss Hod! Hooray for the Manager! Hooray for progress!

Well, that's all the time we have today. Thanks for joining us! And remember…

Knowledge is just pain plus observation! Have a great day!


Music: Aspire


Good evening, future Managers. Should you be watching this in sequence, I am sure you have a number of questions. After all, a return to the standard formula after what seems to be a breach in the status quo is the sort of thing which would attract attention. What happened? Is Paul the same? It's a good question. Angela, the graphics.









The Apple is a very serviceable Justice trainer, with an easy-to-underestimate E.G.O weapon. Don't sleep on it-particularly with the matching E.G.O Gift it becomes a very powerful weapon. I would recommend taking great precautions not to allow her to breach. I have suffered issues before with my system slowing down immensely as a result of her vines-while this did clear out when I ended the day, it made it seem as though the agents were running and working through molasses even at 2x speed.

Overall, I would consider her a solid pick-if temperamental and in need of cautious care.

The Monk, on the other hand… the only statistic it can reliably train on without causing a high risk of QC loss is Insight-and since it recovers an agent's SP after Insight work it is not particularly ideal for that either. So it cannot train.

Its gear is terrible at attacking enemies, and though its suit is acceptable defensively, I would not consider it particularly amazing. So it is not particularly worthwhile for gear.

Finally, it is a breach-prone Abnormality which aims to leave its cell when the facility is already in the middle of crisis and try and slash an agent to death or swallow them whole. Thus, it is also not simple.

It receives a failing grade in all three factors which separate a desirable Abnormality from an undesirable. As such, I cannot ever recommend it. This Monk has become a being which not even it can comprehend, and in doing so it has become something it never wished to be.

...There are times which I wonder if I myself am still what I wished to be. The concept of self is an interesting topic-memories and experiences formulate the base idea of a person. Indeed, a great number of mediums explore the idea of a person without their memories. Should they lose themselves, would they be something else? Are people's natures the same when their experiences are in absentia?

If two people possess the same face, same voice, same memories and same name… could they be said to be different people in the first place?

...It's something I've thought much about, lately. But for now, this old man shall cease his ramblings.

Next time's featured Abnormality…


New Guidelines

Snow White's Apple
Clouded Monk

New Gear


Requirements: Temperance 3


Requirements: Prudence 3


Requirements: Level 3, Temperance 3
*Not affected by Attack Speed



Requirements: Prudence 2, Temperance 2

New Story

Snow White's Apple
Clouded Monk (Part 1)
Clouded Monk (Part 2)
Clouded Monk (Part 3)
Clouded Monk (Part 4)

TeeQueue fucked around with this message at 11:39 on Jul 11, 2021

TeeQueue
Oct 9, 2012

The time has come. Soon, the bell shall ring. A new world will come. Rise, my servants. Rise and serve me. I am death and life. Darkness and light.
Also as a heads-up, I'm getting my second vaccine shot today and might get knocked on my rear end. If there's a delay, assume that would be why. :v:

MiiNiPaa
Jan 19, 2020

-86... It begins...


Chance to reduce QC of Snow White's Apple on bad work is 70%, on normal — 50%
Vines slow workers down by 60% and damage them by 20-26 Black damage every 4 seconds.

Clouded Monk has 30% chance of reducing QC on either Normal of Bad work.
When breaching, his damage does not scale depending on target armor class. It is always 23 Red, before suit defences are taken into account, no matter if it ZAYIN or ALEPH armor.
On charge it deals 250 unscaled Red damage and recovers 10% of max HP.

MinutePirateBug
Mar 4, 2013
Paul blink twice if you are being held hostage.

OOrochi
Jan 19, 2017

On my honor as the Dawnspear.

TeeQueue posted:

Next time's featured Abnormality…


Ominous whistles in the distance

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

At last, we'll get to see what the hype is about! Hope the second shot doesn't kick you too hard.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you....


Eta50 is not having a good time

curiousCat
Sep 23, 2012

Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?
the train
it's COMING

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
Computer Touching


Toilet Rascal
I choo-choo-choose you!

Mecha_Face
Dec 17, 2016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-vPfUHBfrg

An accurate depiction of what is to come.

Arcvasti
Jun 12, 2019

Never trust a bird.
The Monk is an alright Repression trainer if you haven't found anything better yet, and while he isn't quite as simple to suppress as something like the Scarecrow or Funeral of the Dead Butterflies, he's still much easier then stuff like Big Bird or Queen of Hatred.

Another reason that Snow White's Apple is nasty when she breaches is that if multiple agents stand on the vines in the same spot then the vine damage will stack, so ordering a melee murderball to go after her is a death sentence. Being totally immune to Black damage, heavily resistant to Red damage and unsafe to attack with too many melee weapons means that she can often be surprisingly difficult to suppress. She is still worth taking because even at Justice III you won't breach her that often, but if you got her before getting any weapons that work against her then you should be really cautious with her.

pumpinglemma
Apr 28, 2009

DD: Fondly regard abomination.

IT COMES. :getin:

SITB
Nov 3, 2012
I really like the Monk's story, though I wouldn't actually choose it for my facility. Snow White's Apple by contrast despite being on paper very temperamental has never caused me any problems.

Jen X
Sep 29, 2014

To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.
The train…

DrKirre
Jun 11, 2014

Am I a mouse dreaming I'm a cat, or a scratching post dreaming I'm a bowl of wet food? Never assume what you see and feel is real!
...
Mmm... wet food...
Good luck with your round 2 plague shot! It's a real doozy. Drink lots of water!

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
Computer Touching


Toilet Rascal
If it gets really bad, I know a guy who can help.

Narsham
Jun 5, 2008
I did have a run where Mountain and the Monk were both in Extraction. Whenever they both breached the Monk would predictably charge and chow down on the Mountain while it was still in stage one. But I wouldn't recommend trying to use the Monk to suppress other Abnormalities as a regular thing.

Arcvasti
Jun 12, 2019

Never trust a bird.

Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:

If it gets really bad, I know a guy who can help.

: Do not be afraid of needles, for I am with thee.

silentsnack
Mar 19, 2009

Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is the 45th and current President of the United States. Before entering politics, he was a businessman and television personality.

Arcvasti posted:

: Do not be afraid of needles, for I am with thee.

Possible side effects may include: Pale damage, programming errors, negative enkephalin production, loss of consciousness, excess trumpet signals, sudden mood swings or personality changes, shortness of breath, decreased work speed, non-sequitur humor, hallucinations, involuntary transformation, bad posting, temporal anomalies, and surrealism up to and including fourth-wall breaches.

OneWingedDevil
Aug 27, 2012
Aww. I was going to call out that demon the monk turns into was likely a preta, a hunger spirit, given the paunch he has and his charge attack being that he eats what he runs into. Had to search around to remember the name of it, though.

That effort was ruined by the story for Shrouded Monk explicitly calling him out as a preta.

Guess I'll see myself out in disappointment. I hear there's a train around here I could hop on?

SL the Pyro
Jun 16, 2013

My soul cries out
with the desire to
FRACTURE
your puny spine.


what do you mean that hotkey disappeared
I have to wonder what someone unfamiliar with -86 must be thinking when seeing an entire page's worth of "OH poo poo".

Deep Dish Fuckfest
Sep 6, 2006

Advanced
Computer Touching


Toilet Rascal
The Train has been hyped for a long time, and if this were any other game I would be preparing to be disappointed right about now. But considering all the bullshit the game has pulled so far, I'm ready to believe the hype is real.

Vexrm
Feb 2, 2009

Full of hot raspberry jam blooded passion.

Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:

The Train has been hyped for a long time, and if this were any other game I would be preparing to be disappointed right about now. But considering all the bullshit the game has pulled so far, I'm ready to believe the hype is real.

I too believe in the hype train.

serefin99
Apr 15, 2016

Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

I think the monk might have one of my favorite stories in the game. Something about it just sticks with me.

Boksi
Jan 11, 2016
The train isn't the most dangerous thing you can have in a facility, but it certainly has the worst trouble:reward ratio. It will gently caress your poo poo up and give you fuckall for your troubles.

Make sure to play some appropriate music.

Reiterpallasch
Nov 3, 2010



Fun Shoe
i am honestly not sure it is possible to convey how much the train sucks in a screenshot+text format

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

serefin99 posted:

I think the monk might have one of my favorite stories in the game. Something about it just sticks with me.

It's a really good story and very appropriate as a cautionary tale. Monk who thinks he's on the path of Buddha turns out to have just become susceptible to a different type of materialism rather than eliminated it entirely, doesn't take the idea that he could be corrupted seriously and ends up paying for it.

TeeQueue
Oct 9, 2012

The time has come. Soon, the bell shall ring. A new world will come. Rise, my servants. Rise and serve me. I am death and life. Darkness and light.

Reiterpallasch posted:

i am honestly not sure it is possible to convey how much the train sucks in a screenshot+text format

It’s very possible, but it will require an unusual commitment to comedic timing and bad jokes.

So business as usual. :v:

Arcanuse
Mar 15, 2019

Train. :allears:

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TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016





I hate the train, all my homies hate the train.

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