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Jim beats Pam with a heavy leather belt due to his rage at accidentally calling her Dwight during sex.
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Jun 14, 2021 18:46
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| # ? May 14, 2024 20:03 |
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the office staff decides to play a game of 'gently caress, marry, kill' while waiting for the IT guy to come reset the router so they can get back online. jim goes first and gives an extremely graphic, detailed, step-by-step account of how he wants to murder pam and gently caress dwight. the office sits in stunned silence and dwight is visibly uncomfortable.
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Jun 14, 2021 19:35
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Owlspiracy posted:the office staff decides to play a game of 'gently caress, marry, kill' while waiting for the IT guy to come reset the router so they can get back online. jim goes first and gives an extremely graphic, detailed, step-by-step account of how he wants to murder pam and gently caress dwight. the office sits in stunned silence and dwight is visibly uncomfortable. ... Meredith gets taken to the altar
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Jun 14, 2021 20:07
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jim enforces dominion over dwight
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Jun 14, 2021 20:40
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jim sneaks a bitcoin mining rig onto schrute farms. dwight's electrical bill skyrockets
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Jun 14, 2021 20:46
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Jim declares prima nocta on Dwight when he opens an expansion to his beet farm, despite none of that being how that fictional concept even worked in the movie.
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Jun 14, 2021 21:05
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Jim masturbates at his desk while maintaining full eye contact with Dwight throughout. As he reaches orgasm, he gurns to the camera.
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Jun 14, 2021 21:21
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jim opens a kissing booth in the middle of the office, selling kisses for $5. meredith goes first; after their passionate kiss she lies breathless, gasping on the floor. lonely ever since angela left him, dwight steps up. jim complains to toby and dwight is fired for sexual harassment.
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Jun 14, 2021 21:45
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during a staff meeting dwight suggests to michael that dunder mifflin start selling water bottles, citing a hole in the market. michael brushes him off. jim, struck by dwight's business savvy, steals the suggestion for his own and pitches it to david wallace during a basketball game. ten years later dunder mifflin has annual turnover in the hundreds of billions, and jim is vice pesident of asset management and development. dwight was fired years earlier for "not being creative enough, unlike jim"
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Jun 14, 2021 21:48
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angela confesses to pam that her and dwight's lovemaking has gone stale and asks for suggestions. pam, always eager to help offers to film her her and jim ropleplaying so angela can look for inspiration. the next day, while reviewing the tape, angela is horrified to see jim nude from the waist down, wearing a childish dwight mask, yelling about beets, mugging at a piece of cardboad with a crudely drawn camera lens.
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Jun 14, 2021 21:51
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Jim shrinks down to the size of a sperm and hides out in Dwight’s balls. When Dwight has sex with Angela later that night, Jim races to the front because he tied all of Dwight’s sperm’s tails together. He merges with Angela’s egg. Nine months later, Angela and Dwight are horrified when Angela gives birth to a baby with Jim’s adult head on its baby body. Baby Jim mugs the camera.
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Jun 15, 2021 00:36
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:jim forces dwight to fingerblast a sock monkey
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Jun 15, 2021 00:38
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Jim sucks off Dwight but refuses to swallow.
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Jun 15, 2021 00:48
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After Dwight suffers catastrophic injuries from a prank Jim rebuilds him with technology he has - making him better, faster, and stronger. The next day Jim bills Dwight for six million dollars, a sum Dwight can't possibly pay.
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Jun 15, 2021 01:08
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After reading Wade Davis' The Serpent and the Rainbow, Jim uses ingredients he buys on the internet to make a "zombie powder" which he blows into Dwight's face while sitting at his desk. Dwight becomes catatonic, with the rest of the office stepping over him to go about their day. That night Jim buries Dwight in a box in the warehouse, returning three days later to "resurrect" him as a pliable zombie. Zombie Dwight proves to be the greatest paper salesman in Dunder-Mifflin history, and Michael is delighted. Jim shrugs at the camera.
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Jun 15, 2021 01:09
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Dwight calls for help after being badly pranked by Jim. "Help!" he cries "Noman is pranking me!"
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Jun 15, 2021 01:10
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Dwight calls for help after being badly pranked by Jim. Adding to OP.
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Jun 15, 2021 03:23
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Jim is given a gun and locked in a room with Hitler and Dwight. Jim shoots Dwight twice.
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Jun 15, 2021 03:27
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Jim and Dwight meet Mark and Jes from Peep Show in an unofficial crossover. Mark eats a baked dog.
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Jun 15, 2021 03:32
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Jim slits Dwight’s stomach open, grabs the end of his intestines and runs out to the street. He ties the loose end of Dwight’s intestine to the back of a bus. When the bus starts to move, Dwight’s intestines unravel until his esophagus is taut against the back of his throat. Dwight’s head gets pulled inside out and his brain falls down into the hole in his abdomen and then slips down between his buttcheeks so it looks like he poo poo out his own brains. Jim mugs for Bart and Lisa who laugh uproariously.
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Jun 15, 2021 03:40
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Applewhite posted:Jim shrinks down to the size of a sperm and hides out in Dwight’s balls. When Dwight has sex with Angela later that night, Jim races to the front because he tied all of Dwight’s sperm’s tails together. He merges with Angela’s egg. Lol I was wondering how long it would take for Jim to buy a shrinking ray
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Jun 15, 2021 03:44
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BigBadSteve posted:Jim sucks off Dwight but refuses to swallow. Ok this is crossing a line. Mods?
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Jun 15, 2021 03:45
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Jim introduces Dwight to loss.jpg edits and gets him so riled up that Dwight mass-emails and prints his favorite edits all over the Dunder-Mifflin offices. Jim leads the charge to get Dwight fired and banned, ultimately ending with Michael browbeating Dwight into donating 30% of his paychecks to a woman's shelter in exchange for keeping his job.
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Jun 15, 2021 03:46
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Jim greases up Dwight’s toes real good. Meredith has to be taken to the hospital.
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Jun 15, 2021 04:32
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Jim convinces Rick Deckard that Dwight is a replicant
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Jun 15, 2021 04:48
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Jim chop off his own fingers and eats then, all to set up a weak "finger food" joke to Dwight. Jim is rushed to the hospital and Dwight goes home, vowing to update his resume and finally get out of Dunder MIfflin. Thousands of severed fingers pour out of Dwight's refrigerator when he opens the door as doctors rush to reattach Jim's gnawed fingers.
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Jun 15, 2021 11:50
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Jim hides Dwight's articles of manumission, forcing him to continue a life of slavery even though he is legally free.
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Jun 15, 2021 14:18
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Jim reinvents himself as a far-right commentator and podcast host, putting him into direct conflict with Dwight, who prefers to remain apolitical in the office but harbors strong leftist beliefs. Dwight asks Pam if Jim really believes any of his rhetoric, and she gets very disturbed and begs Dwight not to push any further. Dwight offers to be a guest on Jim's show (Right on Target with James Halpert) and uses a series of clever questions and his immense debate skills to cause Jim to melt down and reveal a complete lack of critical thinking skills or any kind of firm beliefs or morals. Jim then pivots into the idea that he is a parody of the right and becomes a beloved comedian, eventually gaining a late night talk show on NBC and hosting SNL several times. Dwight watches Jim on SNL as he mugs for the camera to massive applause from the very same people Jim said were "inhuman and un-American" just a few months earlier.
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Jun 15, 2021 14:40
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Jim encases Dwight's stapler in Jello. "You already did this one," Dwight chides. "Nuh-uh!" Replies Jim, "last time it was green Jello, this time it's orange!" Dwight feels incredibly sorry for Jim, as Jim sheepishly mugs the camera.
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Jun 15, 2021 17:25
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Jim sneaks into Dwight's pantry and inserts staples into Dwight's jello powder. Six months later Dwight brings his famous "beet jello" to the company potluck. Later that day Meredith complains of stomach pains. An x-ray reveals the culprit: staples had punctured the lining of her small intestine. Jim keeps his head down. He didn't think this one through fully but in hindsight it's pretty clear his actions led to Meredith going to the hospital, which was actually pretty funny he thought to himself. God drat, how many times can this happen Jik wonders. How many dundy awards can one dunder milflan encase in jello while Andy has another wacky adventure and Ryan's character gets recast and, and and, ... The simulation becomes self aware
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Jun 15, 2021 17:46
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Jim builds PaperNet, an advanced, automated AI that can determine a client's paper needs before they happen and have the salespeople get the best commissions and bonuses possible. On August 23, 2018, PaperNet becomes self-aware. Luckily Jim programmed that, upon self awareness, it would only see Dwight as the enemy. As Dwight tends to his beets that fateful afternoon, the sky darkens as millions of perfectly constructed paper airplanes converge on Schrute Farms. PaperNet mugs for the camera. Seth Pecksniff fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Jun 15, 2021 |
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Jun 15, 2021 17:53
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Jim removes all of his flesh and organs, turning himself into a spooky skeleton. He hides in the break room and pops out when Dwight goes to get coffee. Dwight is disturbed and asks Jim how he's still alive. Jim motions to the window and Dwight sees a human skull the size of a football stadium hovering over Scranton.
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Jun 15, 2021 18:04
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Jim buys a "throw your voice" kit from the back of a comic book. He uses this new ability to make it sound as if Dwight is blurting out racist and homophobic slurs. When Michael demands Dwight explain himself, Jim dumps laxative powder down Dwight's pants.
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Jun 15, 2021 18:26
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Jim transfers his soul into a tiny wooden doll and mails it to Dwight. Dwight places the doll in his room, thinking it to be merely a trinket. On a thunderstorm-filled night, Jim's doll form terrorizes Dwight, chasing him through the farm house with knives and other small weapons it procures from the house. Dwight finally tosses the demonic toy into the incinerator, thinking it destroyed forever. Days later, Dwight is cleaning the ashes out of the incinerator and finds a small, fleshy blob in there. It's Jim - slowly trying to regrow a human body. Dwight smashes it with the back of his shovel as it lets out a blood-curdling squeal. The next Monday, Dwight returns to work to find Pam wearing all black to mourn the death of Jim, which she believes to be a simple suicide. Dwight omits the details of his horrific night and the thing in the incinerator, but explains that Jim was a sick man and is finally at rest now. Pam makes a pass at Dwight which he rebukes, saying that she isn't in a good emotional spot right now. Pam starts laughing at him, insulting his manhood in front of the entire office. Dwight is momentarily shocked, until "Pam" starts vomiting up black bile. Dwight realizes that Jim has transferred his soul into Pam as a final prank. Pam mugs for the camera as Dwight reaches for his can of bear mace.
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Jun 15, 2021 19:17
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millions of years from now the human singularity resurrects a single consciousness as a test project to see if it’s with bringing back non-collective humanity: Dwight, a paper salesman who had his brain scanned by an early AI. Upon awakening Dwight refuses to communicate with the overmind, instead screaming about a “Jim” and pranks. the project is shelved. somewhere, in a distant plane of existence, beyond life and death, jim mugs at the camera.
Owlspiracy fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Jun 16, 2021 |
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Jun 15, 2021 20:42
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posing as an EMT, jim delivers a dying meredith to Schrute Farms and grows increasingly irate as dwight is unable to treat her
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Jun 15, 2021 23:23
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Dwight reaches for the front door of the Dunder Mifflin building but as soon as his fingertips touch the handle, the building bursts with a deafening BANG! like a giant balloon! “Nice going, balloon boy!” yells Jim.
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Jun 16, 2021 00:31
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20 years from now, Dwight is honored to attend a formal dinner to name him as the CEO of Dunder Mifflin Express. Years earlier, Dwight surmised that the growth of online marketplaces would require innovative new paper products and began restructuring his Scranton Branch to become the paper backbone of the world's shipping services. Dwight steps to the microphone and as he's about to speak, a long drawn out fart pierces the air. Jim, invited by Pam, laughs and jokes about avoiding the crab dip. The laughter envelops Dwight, who strokes out at the podium.
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Jun 16, 2021 00:47
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Ea-Jim travelled to New York to buy paper and returned to sell it in Scranton. On one particular occasion, he had agreed to sell paper to Dwight. Dwight sent his servant with the money to complete the transaction. The paper was sub-standard and not accepted. In response, Dwight wrote a letter for delivery to Ea-Jim. Inscribed on it is a complaint to Ea-Jim about a paper delivery of the incorrect grade, and issues with another delivery; Dwight also complained that his servant (who handled the transaction) had been treated rudely. He stated that, at the time of writing, he had not accepted the paper, but had paid the money for it.
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Jun 16, 2021 00:56
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| # ? May 14, 2024 20:03 |
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Jim settles in for lunch and begins playing an old Time radio serial. Many of the voices and personalities seem taken from the office staff, which Dwight takes as yet another attempt by Jim to get his Goat. The multiparty serial draws the staff in, proving to be a hit for the lunchtime hour. At the penultimate chapter of the caper, it's revealed that the criminal behind the Murders is an imbred "rockturd farmer" from Germany who disgraced his family with "a poor choice of vestments and a degenerate forebrow". Dwight takes it personally when the office laughs at him. The next day, Jim announces a special surprise for lunch. He queues up the show, but Dwight stops them. Launching a tirade against the quality of acting, inaccuracies and overall poor production value of the series. From the conference room, an old man shuffles out, weeping, then clutching at his heart. As he is later wheeled out by EMS teams, Jim reveals that he had found the voice of "Jimmy Gallantry, Private Investigator" and invited him for a Q&A about the series. The office shuns Dwight and Jim mugs at the corpse.
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Jun 16, 2021 02:13
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