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GimmickMan posted:I once played in a short lived game where we had to save the world from a robot uprising courtesy of a hewlett packard ai malfunctioning and going hostile on all life. "Saved" seems like a very strong term for stopping something that wouldn't even make it out of the factory before it crashed.
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Jul 7, 2021 02:37
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paragon1 posted:One time in a past campaign my players were raiding a syndicate's stash house and found a safe. The party decker asked if the safe was wireless. I said "That's completely idiotic. What's the point of a wireless safe? It adds no functionality and opens up massive security holes. All a safe needs to be is a tough metal box with a combination lock on it. Have you seen LockpickingLawyer's channel? He has looked at lots of electronic/biometric locks and safes. They are universally complete poo poo.
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Jul 7, 2021 02:55
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GimmickMan posted:I once played in a short lived game where we had to save the world from a robot uprising courtesy of a hewlett packard ai malfunctioning and going hostile on all life. I'm assuming that the malfunction was whatever allowed it to actually do anything, since a deep and abiding hatred of all things organic is factory standard on all HP products.
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Jul 7, 2021 03:21
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Lemniscate Blue posted:I'm assuming that the malfunction was whatever allowed it to actually do anything, since a deep and abiding hatred of all things organic is factory standard on all HP products. Share and Enjoy! 
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Jul 7, 2021 06:33
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The Lone Badger posted:Have you seen LockpickingLawyer's channel? He has looked at lots of electronic/biometric locks and safes. I like the one that just unlocked when you put a rare earth magnet near it
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Jul 7, 2021 07:43
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My favorite one is the one where he tried to get his wife into lockpicking by locking her Ben and Jerry's with one of their "Pint Locks" (which are apparently trivially easy to open by feel) and she just cut the bottom of the package.
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Jul 7, 2021 08:28
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Printer companies really fit in with the whole corporate dystopia theme of the game. Imagine trying to print something in shadowrun. Utter hopeless despair. Unless you're a decker, technomancer or demolitions expert.
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Jul 7, 2021 08:52
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Paper's pretty dead in Shadowrun, for better or for worse. So thankfully very few people have to deal with an Ares-HP Deskjet All In One Armored Printer or a MCT-Canon Color Printer Defense Turret Combo Device. I'm not sure they even sell that last one; I think they just make them for their Zero Zones.
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Jul 7, 2021 13:36
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Which corporation is most likely to have an 'all in one combination fax, printer and autonomous turret' as a flagship product? Because I could definitely see a machine that you can't actually smash with a baseball bat as a thing in the 6th world.
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Jul 7, 2021 13:46
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By popular demand posted:Which corporation is most likely to have an 'all in one combination fax, printer and autonomous turret' as a flagship product? Probably one of the Japanese corps. In real life, Japanese corps still really loving love their fax machines.
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Jul 7, 2021 13:48
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Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:Paper's pretty dead in Shadowrun, for better or for worse. So thankfully very few people have to deal with an Ares-HP Deskjet All In One Armored Printer or a MCT-Canon Color Printer Defense Turret Combo Device. I'm not sure they even sell that last one; I think they just make them for their Zero Zones. It really only happened because a manager fell in love with the pun and demanded it be made to happen.
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Jul 7, 2021 13:54
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And Aztech is sure to have at least looked into the possibility of a printer which sucks the blood out of a living person for ink.
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Jul 7, 2021 14:00
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If that's what it takes to not deal with ink cartridges I'm all for it.
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Jul 7, 2021 14:06
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A mere 0.1 essence for 250 full color pages? Sign me the gently caress up!
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Jul 7, 2021 14:12
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Xerox Zones
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Jul 7, 2021 14:25
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By popular demand posted:It seems that you got some story to tell friend and it will be a while until the next update so My therapist says HP and Epson are something out of a particularly bad trip or something I read on sup/tg/ as worst Shadowrun villains, not real and can't hurt me anymore.
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Jul 7, 2021 14:57
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By popular demand posted:And Aztech is sure to have at least looked into the possibility of a printer which sucks the blood out of a living person for ink. it would certainly save on costs! US medical system also is still surprisingly reliant on faxes, though depending on where you are electronic faxes are more of a thing, thankfully.
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Jul 7, 2021 17:54
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By now it's time to admit that we will never be rid of fax machines, they won and humanity lost.
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Jul 7, 2021 17:57
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By popular demand posted:By now it's time to admit that we will never be rid of fax machines, they won and humanity lost. Facts. 
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Jul 8, 2021 00:15
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Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:Paper's pretty dead in Shadowrun, for better or for worse. So thankfully very few people have to deal with an Ares-HP Deskjet All In One Armored Printer or a MCT-Canon Color Printer Defense Turret Combo Device. I'm not sure they even sell that last one; I think they just make them for their Zero Zones. FWIW I have had dealings with military-grade printers before. No defense turrets fortunately/sadly. But the Ares-HP Deskjet All In One Armored Printer description is surprisingly apt.
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Jul 8, 2021 02:06
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I was gonna say something like "of COURSE there's military grade printers" but thinking for a second it makes sense. Plugging some loving plastic box on a classified network, which immediately goes ballistic making GBS threads out icmp packets the moment it can't connect to the public internet, with who-knows-what hardware/firmware in it and a driver package that tries its best to install a norton antivirus trial by any means necessary, seems like a sub-optimal plan. And that's before you get to the fact that someone has probably already demonstrated an attack that lets you recover all text being printed using a pie pan, a raspberry pi, and a metal coat hanger from 15 miles away using the stray EM waves from the ink level sensor in the magenta cartridge. Then there's the actual intelligence agencies.
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Jul 8, 2021 03:30
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military printers, like most military equipment, are huge ancient pieces of poo poo that break down constantly and are barely compatible with modern systems luckily this also renders them immune to cyberattacks
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Jul 8, 2021 03:49
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Even if you can convince the office drone manning it that you had access rights it would be too broken to abuse. Perfect security! Plus the grunt gets to laugh at the attackers misfortune/stupidity.
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Jul 8, 2021 03:53
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StillFullyTerrible posted:military printers, like most military equipment, are huge ancient pieces of poo poo that break down constantly and are barely compatible with modern systems Plus you can ship one to a forward base in the back of a truck over two hundred miles of bad road and it won't be any worse when it gets there. It won't be good mind you, but it won't be any worse.
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Jul 8, 2021 03:55
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I recall a legend about a deleted scene from one of the Terminator movies where they break into Skynet's core and find... drum roll... an HP printer hooked up to a drum of ink.
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Jul 8, 2021 05:27
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achtungnight posted:I recall a legend about a deleted scene from one of the Terminator movies where they break into Skynet's core and find... drum roll... an HP printer hooked up to a drum of ink. DUN DUN DUN DUH-DUN P C LOAD LET-TER
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Jul 8, 2021 05:47
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Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:I was gonna say something like "of COURSE there's military grade printers" but thinking for a second it makes sense. Plugging some loving plastic box on a classified network, which immediately goes ballistic making GBS threads out icmp packets the moment it can't connect to the public internet, with who-knows-what hardware/firmware in it and a driver package that tries its best to install a norton antivirus trial by any means necessary, seems like a sub-optimal plan. And that's before you get to the fact that someone has probably already demonstrated an attack that lets you recover all text being printed using a pie pan, a raspberry pi, and a metal coat hanger from 15 miles away using the stray EM waves from the ink level sensor in the magenta cartridge. Then there's the actual intelligence agencies. So, sadly the ones I toughed weren't that developed. They were HP printers (from back when HP printers were the most durable) with a more robust power supply, the plastic casing pulled off, and everything stuck in a properly Milspec-grade box and painted military green. No network to connect to (or not anything that'd be recognizable to non-specialized malware) at least. My involvement was sending a regular patch disk/reimaging disk for all the s/w, because there was no internet at all touching these. So I was able to keep the bloat down too. Probably there was a built from scratch for the military printer around somewhere, but I never saw that. Wouldn't want to see the price tag on it, for sure.
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Jul 8, 2021 05:53
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idhrendur posted:So, sadly the ones I toughed weren't that developed. They were HP printers (from back when HP printers were the most durable) with a more robust power supply, the plastic casing pulled off, and everything stuck in a properly Milspec-grade box and painted military green. No network to connect to (or not anything that'd be recognizable to non-specialized malware) at least. My involvement was sending a regular patch disk/reimaging disk for all the s/w, because there was no internet at all touching these. So I was able to keep the bloat down too. lol like they would build it from scratch. They would just do what you did - replace the plastic case with a milspec case and charge $100,000 for it.
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Jul 8, 2021 06:08
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Lechtansi posted:lol like they would build it from scratch. They would just do what you did - replace the plastic case with a milspec case and charge $100,000 for it. That's outdated thinking. Now they charge $100/page and if it runs out of paper you have to fly in a company technician (at $2000 / hr).
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Jul 8, 2021 06:11
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idhrendur posted:Probably there was a built from scratch for the military printer around somewhere, but I never saw that. Wouldn't want to see the price tag on it, for sure. Having watched The Pentagon Wars ; I'm not entirely convinced the Mk.1b Advanced Tactical Combat Printer would necessarily be free of idiotic bells & whistles ; design choices somebody must have been either high on ethanol fumes or in the throes of a deep nihilistic depression to make ; fiddly bits that break when looked at in a slightly mean way (causing the entire machine to violently implode) ; or that it would, in fact, be able to generate physical paper-and-ink-based documents at all.
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Jul 8, 2021 06:24
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FoolyCharged posted:Even if you can convince the office drone manning it that you had access rights it would be too broken to abuse. Perfect security! Plus the grunt gets to laugh at the attackers misfortune/stupidity. "Hey Tommy come check this out, an attacker is trying to use the printer to gain access" "-The printer we spent two years attempting to properly connect before we gave up and just use the usb drive to print from?" "Yup. I figure I'd let them waste a couple more hours before I terminate their connection" "-You're all heart"
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Jul 8, 2021 11:18
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Kobal2 posted:Having watched The Pentagon Wars ; I'm not entirely convinced the Mk.1b Advanced Tactical Combat Printer would necessarily be free of idiotic bells & whistles ; design choices somebody must have been either high on ethanol fumes or in the throes of a deep nihilistic depression to make ; fiddly bits that break when looked at in a slightly mean way (causing the entire machine to violently implode) ; or that it would, in fact, be able to generate physical paper-and-ink-based documents at all. nah my dude, that's how boondoggle stuff works. for regular equipment obsolete, durable, and beaten up is military grade.
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Jul 8, 2021 14:23
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The Pentagon Wars is not a particularly accurate movie. Of course a Bradley won't withstand getting hit by an AT weapon, they're meant to kill much heavier targets. Of course it's going to have a lot of development issues, all new vehicles do and the IFV is a new concept in the army at the time. Later in its life, in the real world, the Bradley performed well against contemporary opponents. What more do you want out of a piece of equipment?
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Jul 8, 2021 15:09
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wiegieman posted:
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Jul 8, 2021 15:50
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Speaking of military boondoggle getting fixed, is the f-35 capable of flight yet?
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Jul 8, 2021 15:56
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By popular demand posted:"Hey Tommy come check this out, an attacker is trying to use the printer to gain access" That's some real "Vetinari leaving a spoon and weak mortar for prisoners to have something to do" energy.
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Jul 8, 2021 16:00
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Xander77 posted:Yeah, and the M-16 is a perfectly fine weapon, if you're picking it up in the 21st century. It was good when it was introduced, too - when you put the right ammo through it. Yeah, m16s have problems when you don't properly gas them, film at eleven.
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Jul 8, 2021 16:07
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FoolyCharged posted:Speaking of military boondoggle getting fixed, is the f-35 capable of flight yet?
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Jul 8, 2021 16:18
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Poil posted:If you involve a catapult and use a very broad definition of "flight", sure. But is it really made to actually fly missions? Isn't it more the grand daddy of grift projects? Nah. In all seriousness it's actually working fine as a plane now. Yes, it was a huge and very successful grift project. But as a plane it's also been basically successful and is now operational, it just hasn't seen much use yet.
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Jul 8, 2021 16:20
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FoolyCharged posted:Speaking of military boondoggle getting fixed, is the f-35 capable of flight yet? The F-35 is a cromulent 5th gen strike fighter. And there's all of three other 5th gen aircraft in service right now. Hideously expensive and a classic boondoggle? Yes. But there's a reason why the Swiss are gonna buy a ton of them over the Eurofighter or other Gen 4.5 airframes. Likewise, the F-22 is a truly amazing air superiority platform, but even more hideously expensive and an even more classic boondoggle.
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Jul 8, 2021 16:32
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