UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

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Do you prefer the extended summer thread format? This poll is closed.
Yes	126	44.21%
No	39	13.68%
I'm Scottish	120	42.11%
Total:	285 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

i feel bad for laughing at that but i can't help it

# ? Jul 27, 2021 22:26

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# ? May 25, 2024 07:41

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Yeah, you were wise. There was a horrifying incident involving someone slipping between the platform and a train as it moved (he had misstepped getting on) which fortunately I did not witness but which came over the incident logs.

AUGH

# ? Jul 27, 2021 22:48

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

You know on tube trains there's a little step that juts out just beneath the doors? A few years ago someone tripped over on the platform as a train was coming in and one of those steps made contact with his head. Suffice to say he was instantly killed

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:06

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Sometimes I think that if roads were invented today they would NEVER consider putting two lanes of opposite-moving traffic next to each other. Kinda insane when you think about how close to instant death each and every passing of vehicles is

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:08

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

You know on tube trains there's a little step that juts out just beneath the doors? A few years ago someone tripped over on the platform as a train was coming in and one of those steps made contact with his head. Suffice to say he was instantly killed

I find it bewildering that we're able to stand so close to those things as they come hurtling through the platform, especially when it's crowded and half the people waiting are pissed. The Jubilee line feels so much safer because the platforms have those protective barriers.

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:24

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Sometimes I think that if roads were invented today they would NEVER consider putting two lanes of opposite-moving traffic next to each other. Kinda insane when you think about how close to instant death each and every passing of vehicles is

I'm old enough to remember "suicide lanes" being relatively common. Sure, maybe they worked okay back when there were only 12 cars on the road in a county at any one time, but there were still a handful around as recently as last year (and possibly one or two remaining even now).

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:28

jaete: Jun 21, 2009; Nap Ghost

goddamnedtwisto posted:

I totally get that it's not for everyone, but it genuinely does completely change the way you perceive travel. A car driver sees this junction:

and probably gets slightly stressed about making sure they hit the right exit, a biker sees it and goes twenty miles out of their way to go around it from every possible direction.

As a cyclist, I never see junctions like this, other than in posts like yours where the poor motorised brigades are whining about them. :agesilaus:

It's because I live in London and work in central London and cycle only around central London and don't really ever go anywhere else

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:29

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

My dad was a bus driver and one time someone tried to board via the doors at the back - I'm guessing they were the kind that were always open - and it was as he was pulling away, and he didn't see this guy. The man fell from the bus and hit his head on the pavement and ultimately died. It was a huge investigation but luckily there were a lot of witnesses who could confirm that Dad had no way of knowing the guy was there and it wasn't down to carelessness. Anyway that's why they should still have two members of staff on buses.

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:37

Ash Crimson: Apr 4, 2010

It's week 54 of the food shortages in Scotland and I'm stuck outside my house, dying of malnutrition and being beaten to death by raiders, some of whom may be english

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:50

thebardyspoon: Jun 30, 2005

If my workplace has "wellbeing days" that you can take off with a max of one per month if an employee feels the need and I use one of those on an otherwise important day am I a shithead? I'm going to try and make sure as much of what I'm being relied upon is taken care of beforehand and I've made sure everything required can be done in my absence if needed, it's just the week is already getting on top of me and it's only Tuesday. I basically didn't take Friday as holiday like I wanted because I felt like there was a decent chance they'd say no, they've let me take next Monday and Tuesday off.

I suppose I'm also wondering, if they did decide that I was taking the piss by doing this, would they have any sort of recourse given this is in our employee handbook as a thing we can do 3 times per year, once per month max for any reason and with no notice? Feels like you can't offer that and then get mad when people utilise it right? I guess this is something only I'd know given it's my company and their culture but it's kind of still a black box to me.

# ? Jul 27, 2021 23:50

Endjinneer: Aug 17, 2005; Fallen Rib

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

Sometimes I think that if roads were invented today they would NEVER consider putting two lanes of opposite-moving traffic next to each other. Kinda insane when you think about how close to instant death each and every passing of vehicles is

We probably wouldn't have decided that 30mph was an acceptable speed limit for urban areas either. Or that pedestrians should be happy with a knackered strip of asphalt too narrow for a pair of wheelchairs to pass even when it isn't half over-grown.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 00:01

Lungboy: Aug 23, 2002; NEED SQUAT FORM HELP

goddamnedtwisto posted:

That's more than a little disingenuous, because Pudding Mill Lane and the Olympic Park generally area is, yes, technically in the Lower Lea flood plain the flooding there at the weekend has nothing at all to do with that, and was caused by the failure of a pumping station that raises water from the sewers in the area up to the Northern Outfall Sewer - all of London's sewage north of the river congregates at Wick Lane, west of the Olympic Park, where it is pumped up above ground level into the NOS from where it runs down to Barking Reach for treatment. Well technically some of the shite goes to Abbey Mill, just southeast of the park, but whatever.

The point is that all of the waste water in that fairly small area between Marshgate Lane and Bow Road/Stratford High Street has to be pumped up to the NOS whichis actually at the same level as the DLR tracks and the Great Eastern mainline (it's an intensely strange sensation as you have to walk under the massive pipes to get to the London Stadium, having 5 million people's poo poo above your head is certainly an experience), and one of the pumps there failed. If you look at the footage you can see a cascade of water from the right, that's from the last manhole before the pump - about ten minutes after the rain stopped the area was dry again because the inflow slowed enough for the remaining pumps to do their job.

They go on to talk about how there is no residential property at ground level in the new developments but that's *not* a flood thing, just a lovely "mixed-use development" thing. The entire park area which was indeed built with the possibility of the Lea flooding because there is a known problem with the Lea flooding in that area, because the Lee Flood Relief Channel (yeah the spelling is all over the place, don't blame me) ends at Hackney Marsh which has been left undeveloped exactly for this reason. The Olympic Park itself is designed to be an overflow for the Waterworks River, the southern extension of the Flood Relief Channel, and the actual developed areas around Stratford City are almost 5 metres above the Hackney Cut, which marks the normal highest point of the Lea. The whole area is absolutely loving poo poo for loads and loads of reasons but the Olympic Park itself considerably *decreases* the flood risk both for Hackney Wick and Stratford but also for the entire Lower Lea. If you knew the area before the development, the fact that the various rivers and canals are now all quite a bit "lower" than they were when it was all industrial is really notable.

Thanks for the effortpost clarification, interesting stuff.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 00:11

kingturnip: Apr 18, 2008

thebardyspoon posted:

If my workplace has "wellbeing days" that you can take off with a max of one per month if an employee feels the need and I use one of those on an otherwise important day am I a shithead? I'm going to try and make sure as much of what I'm being relied upon is taken care of beforehand and I've made sure everything required can be done in my absence if needed, it's just the week is already getting on top of me and it's only Tuesday. I basically didn't take Friday as holiday like I wanted because I felt like there was a decent chance they'd say no, they've let me take next Monday and Tuesday off.

I suppose I'm also wondering, if they did decide that I was taking the piss by doing this, would they have any sort of recourse given this is in our employee handbook as a thing we can do 3 times per year, once per month max for any reason and with no notice? Feels like you can't offer that and then get mad when people utilise it right? I guess this is something only I'd know given it's my company and their culture but it's kind of still a black box to me.

Well, you're the best person to judge what cunts your bosses are.
If they're going to make your life miserable over it, then take the day, enjoy yourself and maybe slot in some time to look for a new job.
if they're not likely to make your life miserable, then take the day, enjoy yourself and come back on Thursday feeling a bit better about stuff.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 00:33

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Landlords delenda est:

https://twitter.com/ACORNunion/status/1420024546044825604?s=19

# ? Jul 28, 2021 00:38

Reveilled: Apr 19, 2007; Take up your rifles

A few of the HEBS adverts they played in Scotland when I was a kid felt impactful at the time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR_rnQEPoZ0
The contrast of the american narrator and the scottish voice at the end really makes that final line pop and be memorable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un9MII-NbyM

The adverts I think did well by trusting the kids who'd watch it to understand the visuals and narrative and grasp the point being made without just outright stating it. Blue Sticks is probably the most on the nose but even so, never actually outright says "this is the same as cigarettes", which I think a lot of ham-fisted PSAs would have done.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 01:10

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

"Aye smack, you're only smoking its aways makes me laugh for some reason. The delivery I think

# ? Jul 28, 2021 01:49

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

OwlFancier posted:

Perhaps there is a milton keynes, ontario.

I don't think there is, but there's a just-about-everywhere-else-you-can-think-of from the UK in Ontario.

If you zoom in most places along that route (on google maps - you can't see them in my screenshot) there are loads more too.

Would probably make a good pub quiz question in the UK: "Where in the world can you drive, from West to East, starting in Windsor, to Essex, Watford, Newbury, London, Exeter, Cambridge, Glasgow, Peterborough and Leeds?".

# ? Jul 28, 2021 03:51

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Probably just because it's nearby, but trying to imagine someone starting their new city and proudly naming it Watford is giving me the giggles.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 04:01

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

HopperUK posted:

Probably just because it's nearby, but trying to imagine someone starting their new city and proudly naming it Watford is giving me the giggles.

Watford is a particularly good one (I only know this having just looked it up) since it's actually part of the larger township of Warwick, which also contains a Wisbech. A slightly confusing trio of places to be together since, you know, they're nowhere near each other in England.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 04:12

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

I'm surprised the infamous German one hasn't been posted.
https://youtu.be/F0G97o2-apg

# ? Jul 28, 2021 04:39

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Lungboy posted:

Thanks for the effortpost clarification, interesting stuff.

Well I'm pleased you could understand it because re-reading it it looks like I wrote it by throwing one of those fridge-magnet poetry sets at the wall.

Jesus, my brain is not working right lately, and some of that is stress, some of it is boredom and depression, but there's definitely something else going on there. I genuinely wonder if the increasing amount of time I'm spending on Twitter is breaking my ability to think in more than 240 characters at a time.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 07:55

Juche Couture: Feb 3, 2007

I always thought this was the most effective road safety ad https://youtu.be/0tteHhYh9rU

# ? Jul 28, 2021 08:12

Niric: Jul 23, 2008

Reveilled posted:

A few of the HEBS adverts they played in Scotland when I was a kid felt impactful at the time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR_rnQEPoZ0
The contrast of the american narrator and the scottish voice at the end really makes that final line pop and be memorable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un9MII-NbyM

The adverts I think did well by trusting the kids who'd watch it to understand the visuals and narrative and grasp the point being made without just outright stating it. Blue Sticks is probably the most on the nose but even so, never actually outright says "this is the same as cigarettes", which I think a lot of ham-fisted PSAs would have done.

Did not expect a nostalgia hit this morning! I remember at the time in school we all thought these were very cringe, but looking at them now they seem pretty great (especially blue sticks), and people quoted "that tastes boggin'" and "aye smack, you're only smoking it :smuggo:

" for ages afterwards, so they definitely had an impact.

Wasn't there also another HEBS one about underage drinking, that had the immortal chat up line "ah really fancy you, so eh, how about it?"

Edit: yaaas! Even after 20 years the pitch perfect line delivery remains engraved on my soul. Whoever did these HEBS ads was an poet https://youtu.be/DgTK_xJK_hg

Also, its a really good example of what Reveilled was talking about. It never outright says drinking (or even underage drinking) is bad, but conveys its message about the negative effects of alcohol in a succinct and effective way. Also looks like a wee nod to the prodigy Smack My Bitch Up video on there too?

Niric fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Jul 28, 2021

# ? Jul 28, 2021 08:17

Lord Ludikrous: Jun 7, 2008; Enjoy your tea...

There�s this amazingly violent classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GXcbReCYwM

�Thiiiiiiiiiink aboooouuut thiiiiiiIIIiiiiIIIIIIs�� *gets blown up*

# ? Jul 28, 2021 09:20

Bobstar: Feb 8, 2006; KartooshFace, you are not responding efficiently!

2nd Pfizer received, no terrible side effects overnight, woop woop. I do have a nasty sore throat but I think that's more because I blasted some baked beans into my face before they'd cooled down properly

# ? Jul 28, 2021 09:24

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Bobstar posted:

2nd Pfizer received, no terrible side effects overnight, woop woop. I do have a nasty sore throat but I think that's more because I blasted some baked beans into my face before they'd cooled down properly

Same. Dose one hurt like bejesus (couldn't move my arm without pain, headache, sickness the works). Happy dose 2 seems to have gone well for you too

# ? Jul 28, 2021 09:40

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

loving great morning so far, drop the dog off for what might be her final trip to the vets (she's in kidney failure and we're going to try IV fluids and some meds to see if that's enough to kick-start her kidneys again, a pretty desperate throw of the dice) and get back to find water dripping out the back of the consumer unit, which is generally considered a bad thing by both plumbers and electricians.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 09:49

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Ash Crimson posted:

It's week 54 of the food shortages in Scotland and I'm stuck outside my house, dying of malnutrition and being beaten to death by raiders, some of whom may be english

If you live near the border you're going to get moss troopers that's just common sense. Have you tried eating them?

# ? Jul 28, 2021 09:57

The Perfect Element: Dec 5, 2005; "This is a bit of a... a poof song"

Bobstar posted:

2nd Pfizer received, no terrible side effects overnight, woop woop. I do have a nasty sore throat but I think that's more because I blasted some baked beans into my face before they'd cooled down properly

Me too! Although my arm absolutely cains this morning and I feel like I drank about give five pints part last night (which I didn't!!!)..

# ? Jul 28, 2021 09:57

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Some history of the Home Office for this month (spoiler: it has always been bad)

Sorry to hear about your dog twisto

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:05

Borrovan: Aug 15, 2013; IT IS ME.
🧑‍💼
I AM THERESA MAY

goddamnedtwisto posted:

loving great morning so far, drop the dog off for what might be her final trip to the vets (she's in kidney failure and we're going to try IV fluids and some meds to see if that's enough to kick-start her kidneys again, a pretty desperate throw of the dice) and get back to find water dripping out the back of the consumer unit, which is generally considered a bad thing by both plumbers and electricians.

I'm really sorry about your dog

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:06

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Sorry about your dog Twisto. Hope the vet trip helps.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:13

Jakabite: Jul 31, 2010

Sucks about the dog, that�s gotta be tough. I presume they had an excellent life, though.

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:16

Bobstar: Feb 8, 2006; KartooshFace, you are not responding efficiently!

Sorry to hear that twisto. We had the exact same thing with our cat Jimmy, he'd gone into his final decline just as I got home from London as the pandemic started, and they gave him a kickstart cocktail in an attempt to turn him around. It sadly didn't work, but it did perk him up to his old self for the weekend, so I could say goodbye to him properly while he was feeling ok. I wouldn't have wanted to do that just for my sake (he had to stay in "hospital" for 3 nights) but the vet assured us it was worth a try for him.

Pets, man. Wish they lived longer

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:16

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

feedmegin posted:

If you live near the border you're going to get moss troopers that's just common sense. Have you tried eating them?

The Virgin Moss Trooper and the Chad Border Reiver

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:26

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

WhatEvil posted:

Watford is a particularly good one (I only know this having just looked it up) since it's actually part of the larger township of Warwick, which also contains a Wisbech. A slightly confusing trio of places to be together since, you know, they're nowhere near each other in England.

this reminded me that england calls some of its national parks/forests "areas of outstanding natural beauty" which, and it pains me to say this, is an excellent naming system

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:34

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Scottish Tory self-owns #4,543

https://twitter.com/ScotTories/status/1420058654544482304

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:49

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

Ash Crimson posted:

It's week 54 of the food shortages in Scotland and I'm stuck outside my house, dying of malnutrition and being beaten to death by raiders, some of whom may be english

have you tried becoming a recognised smack trader?

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:50

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

https://twitter.com/HackneyAbbott/status/1420290283732930560

lol

# ? Jul 28, 2021 10:59

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# ? May 25, 2024 07:41

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

sebzilla posted:

https://twitter.com/HackneyAbbott/status/1420290283732930560

lol

im certain that labour right will have a totally normal response to this

# ? Jul 28, 2021 11:01

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2021: I didn't paddleboard while Kabul fell, the sea was closed

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