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Sundae posted:Some typos just HAVE to be called out... lol
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Jul 28, 2021 00:08
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 01:13 |
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Whenever C levels do their C level poo poo I start to feel physically ill. I'll never be cut out to huff my own farts. A few years back there was a big two day event with the promise of a huge announcement. That announcement ended up being, hey we're rebranding the company. All the subsidiaries are going to be renamed to offshoots to the mothership. boooooooooooooooooooooring. Didn't stop them from flying in people in internationally for the event. This week there was a big event with a big announcement! We're undoing the rebranding. "leaders will disscuss how this rebrand reiterates the Company's commitment to delivering a consistent baaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf
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Jul 28, 2021 03:32
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so I start marching my way down to Carol in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say, "Caaarol, Caaarol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in H.R.
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Jul 28, 2021 05:31
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A company I worked for a few years back (privately held) just got acquired by a big fish and I have a few shares in it from exercising options. Currently the terms of the deal haven't been announced but I'm curious to know how much my shares will be worth so is there a usual timeline for finding out? Deal is expected to close in Q4 of this year..
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Jul 28, 2021 05:42
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5:06 PM HR Email: "We are aware some employees have reported issues with sinks and toilets in the bathrooms today at [Campus], be assured facilities has looked into the issue and has determined there is no cause for concern." 7:43 PM HR Email: "Please be aware plumbers will be on site at [Campus] tonight to resolve issues with water availability in the bathrooms. If you are on site from 8:30-10:30 PM (???) please be aware you may have no bathroom access during this time." 11:38 PM HR Email: "To all staff working at [Campus], please plan to work from home tomorrow. A broken water line has cut off all water to [Campus]. An update will be sent out once we have confirmation utilities have been restored." 
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Jul 28, 2021 08:14
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priznat posted:A company I worked for a few years back (privately held) just got acquired by a big fish and I have a few shares in it from exercising options. Currently the terms of the deal haven't been announced but I'm curious to know how much my shares will be worth so is there a usual timeline for finding out? Deal is expected to close in Q4 of this year.. Yea theyll have some exchange rate of old company shares to new company ones. You should end up with shares of the new company and at that point you can sell those for the market price assuming new is public. EDIT: err unless it’s a cash deal in which case I don’t actually know how you get your piece. In that situation calculating it can be pretty Ricky too as they may have investors with special terms. CarForumPoster fucked around with this message at 12:38 on Jul 28, 2021 |
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Jul 28, 2021 12:36
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So my boss made an unannounced 1 on 1 meeting in my calendar. Now I have another meeting tomorrow to be put on a Performance Improvement Plan. What are the odds I will still be working at this company in 1 month/1 year? After doing some quick research it sounds like the odds are very bad.
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Jul 28, 2021 12:38
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Comstar posted:So my boss made an unannounced 1 on 1 meeting in my calendar. Why would you want to continue working there?
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Jul 28, 2021 12:43
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Comstar posted:So my boss made an unannounced 1 on 1 meeting in my calendar. Very bad start job hunting now. If you plan to sue them gather evidence talk to counsel. 90% of the time in the US a PIP is to lay the groundwork for termination, not to improve performance. The resume thread in BFC has helped a lot of people. If you’d like someone to look over your resume. EDIT: I looked at your prev posts, this is groundwork for termination. CarForumPoster fucked around with this message at 12:46 on Jul 28, 2021 |
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Jul 28, 2021 12:43
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Comstar posted:So my boss made an unannounced 1 on 1 meeting in my calendar. 1 month is near 100%, 1 year is near 0%. They are laying grounds for termination, probably through no fault of your own. Your new job is looking for a new job. Your existing job is a distant second priority as there's no reasonable path to keeping it. Do enough to not be immediately terminated (like don't pull no shows, etc) while conducting a full time job hunt. Edit: That post history. Yikes you should have been job hunting full time since your first post about this. Motronic fucked around with this message at 13:33 on Jul 28, 2021 |
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Jul 28, 2021 13:28
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Yeah this is bog standard. They've been trying to goad you to resign for a long time now, you refuse to take the hint, so the PIP's purpose is officially giving you notice that you'll be terminated as soon as they have a satisfactory stack of documentation to protect from lawsuits/deny unemployment comp.
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Jul 28, 2021 13:42
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Sounds like you've got your answer, but for anybody new lurking in the thread: I've met people who claim to personally know someone survived a PIP, but I don't know anyone who has actually survived. At the very least it means your boss called up HR and asked if they could fire you.
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Jul 28, 2021 13:48
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I'm in management. When I put an employee on a PIP, I want them to either succeed or fail. I almost never do this; I consider getting HR involved in my management to be a failure on my part. Pay attention to exactly what you're being asked to do and you can usually discern which is which. Are they overloading you with stretch goals, or laying out specifically what success looks like? This situation sounds like they are preparing to fire you. If you're being surprised that your boss is questioning your performance, they aren't doing their job -- there should be a clear history of them telling you you're underperforming -- or you're overstating your surprise. Everyone should see a performance-related firing coming, and honestly, in those situations, it's usually a relief for both the employee and the team. Do exactly what is stated on the PIP and no more during your upcoming job search. Once they've laid out what performance is acceptable, you aren't responsible for extra credit tasks and doing extra stuff won't help you. You should have a very measured attitude and not be a dick about things, but you also don't have to be all smiles (unless that's part of the PIP...). If you later get lawyers involved, you want to have been doing exactly what they say you should be doing.
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Jul 28, 2021 13:58
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PIPs for the purpose of termination (so, most of them) will usually include subjective language ("employee will improve interactions with others", "employee will demonstrate more professional behavior," etc.) That's your tell that they have already decided you will fail the PIP. In the rare cases that the PIP is actually intended to improve performance and keep the employee, the prescribed goals will be measurable.
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Jul 28, 2021 14:04
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The one silver lining here is that HR/Legal think they need this process to get rid of you. If you work in the US, if they want to terminate you, they totally could have done it yesterday. If they feel the need to pull out a PIP, they aren't sure they've covered their bases and need to build evidence of your performance issues.
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Jul 28, 2021 14:12
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Mostly the PIP is about doing everything possible to avoid paying severance/unemployment comp. The desired outcome is that you find another job and resign.
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Jul 28, 2021 14:13
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If it's anything like the PIP my wife got once, you have about 12 hours before you're fired and 13 hours before your job is taken by a personal friend of your VP.
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Jul 28, 2021 14:23
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It doesn’t hurt to be cynical on PIPs. While I have personally assigned AND cleared a PIP to one of my direct reports, if you didn’t get clear feedback well in advance that things were poo poo, it’s very unlikely that you’ll be employed at the place next year. (If nothing else, how are you going to know your performance has improved if they didn’t care enough to tell you it was bad in the first place?) Job hunting is your new project. I agree with Motronic and CFP.
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Jul 28, 2021 14:49
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Tibalt posted:Sounds like you've got your answer, but for anybody new lurking in the thread: In all my time in the professional working world I have seen exactly one person survive a PiP. It is quite possibly one of the rarest things I have witnessed. Every other time it was a CYA prelude to termination.
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Jul 28, 2021 15:23
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Any general advice for doing bare minimum in your current job while you actively seek next position?
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Jul 28, 2021 15:27
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I survived a PIP which I'm pretty sure means I should be playing the lottery, because the odds are similar.
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Jul 28, 2021 15:27
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Howard Phillips posted:Any general advice for doing bare minimum in your current job while you actively seek next position? Do what's asked of you. Don't volunteer for anything. Make sure you're wearing the required pieces of flair +1.
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Jul 28, 2021 15:30
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Actually don't do what's asked of you. Do only whatever things (and it may actually be nothing) that would get you immediately fired if you don't.
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Jul 28, 2021 15:32
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Howard Phillips posted:Any general advice for doing bare minimum in your current job while you actively seek next position? Polish your resume and go to job interviews. If you get bored of this do a little bit of your actual job.
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Jul 28, 2021 15:35
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Y'all probably remember that my first direct report went on a PIP within a month of me getting to that role by her old/our old manager, for "unprofessional behavior." Language is almost by definition ambiguous/unmeasurable, outside of "Stop telling your boss to go gently caress himself in the middle of a team meeting." She managed to survive it, and left four months later. I suspect she was able to just keep her mouth shut while searching for her new job, and since she stopped telling the boss to go gently caress himself, there were no other grounds to terminate her. To me, a PIP is worthless in these cases. Get a few warnings, document each instance of unprofessional behavior, then if it happens again, drop the hammer.
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Jul 28, 2021 15:44
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I put a guy on a PIP that I desperately wanted to fire. He was a poor cultural fit and was clinging to a familiar but underperforming on-prem system when every stakeholder in the business wanted a cloud solution. His response to corrective feedback was to silently glare at me. I laid out a difficult path for him, but I felt I made clear what was expected of him. He spent the next two weeks frequently looking at pictures of firearms on his workstation, which was in a terrible open office where everyone could see everyone else's screen. He thankfully put in two weeks' notice afterward, and never showed up again.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:04
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A real PIP is for performance not behavior. Behavior is coached, managed, and disciplined on the spot. I am a PIP survivor but yeah it's rare.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:06
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Smithwick posted:In all my time in the professional working world I have seen exactly one person survive a PiP. It is quite possibly one of the rarest things I have witnessed. Every other time it was a CYA prelude to termination. I’ve seen someone directly on my team survive a PIP, and talked to a couple of others at my current employer who went through the process and came out the other side. It’s rare, but probably not as rare as some people think - people who came very close to getting fired but pulled it out at the last minute tend not to talk about it too much. “Is a PIP survivable?” depends a lot on corporate and management culture. In some companies and in some situations, it’s a genuine “we want to keep you, but you have to shape the gently caress up right now” final notice; in others (and, honestly, the vast majority of the time), management’s already pre-filing your termination papers. The good news is that there should be clear differences between a survivable PIP and a pre-firing paperwork exercise. If they want to keep you, then you’ll get some clear signals. Eric the Mauve is exactly right that clear, measurable goals are a big part of a survivable improvement plan. If they want to keep you, you should also get a lot more time investment and direct coaching attention from management on how to do your job right to their standards - you should have direct access to whoever’s running the PIP and very regular check-ins. If they don’t do this, either they’re deliberately setting you up to fail, or they’re incompetent on turning around performance problems, and either one means you’re gonna get bounced out. Any significant change in workload is bad: a big decrease means they’re trying to get you to transition the stuff you know how to do to others and not give you a chance to succeed, while an increase means they’re trying to bury you under stuff you don’t know how to do to create a “welp, guess they just couldn’t handle the job” narrative. Anybody who’s PIPped should start job searching, because most PIPs are just firing documentation, and even if it is theoretically survivable that doesn’t mean you’re going to come through the other side OK. But, it’s also not a guaranteed 100% termination. There should be signs that tell you what situation you’re in.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:09
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the OP's post history makes crystal clear that in his specific case this is 100% guaranteed to end with his termination.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:11
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Eric the Mauve posted:the OP's post history makes crystal clear that in his specific case this is 100% guaranteed to end with his termination. Agreed. Once I was off of the bus and able to read posts without wanting to kill myself, there's no ambiguity here IMO.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:21
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Eric the Mauve posted:the OP's post history makes crystal clear that in his specific case this is 100% guaranteed to end with his termination. Agreed - the post is a response to everyone who’s saying “every PIP is 100% guaranteed to end in termination.” That’s true for most, but not all, and there are ways to tell the difference. If you apply the guidelines in the post to the OP’s situation, management’s already failed to provide clear goals or invest their time in coaching, which very clearly puts the OP in the “nah you’re hosed, sorry” bucket.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:27
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Space Gopher posted:Anybody who’s PIPped should start job searching, because most PIPs are just firing documentation, and even if it is theoretically survivable that doesn’t mean you’re going to come through the other side OK. But, it’s also not a guaranteed 100% termination. There should be signs that tell you what situation you’re in. PIPs shouldn't be a surprise either; if you have even a small amount of self-awareness, you can see it coming and should start planning for your next move right away. In this case, it's been flag after flag after flag that this is where it's leading.
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Jul 28, 2021 16:42
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Renegret posted:Nice! 17% raise and 15% bonus. Both are healthy, though maybe not exceptional. The bonus ties the best ($) I’ve received in a firm like this (well lower % though), the raise still puts me below what I could get elsewhere but ehhhh I dunno. I just had a baby so want to be careful about any big moves. I think I’ll have some conversations with former coworkers who are in other firms and see where that takes me, but not actively push outside of that.
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Jul 28, 2021 17:26
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Jordan7hm posted:17% raise and 15% bonus. Both are healthy, though maybe not exceptional. Goddamn that would be enough to keep me happy in my current place, but I am fairly risk averse. Nicely done jordan.
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Jul 28, 2021 17:50
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I got put on a PIP after calling my VP a "Limp dicked embezzling coward" in an all hands meeting. Took them a month to put me on a "COVID Furlough" and then everyone was all *surprised Pikachu face* when a month later I had a new job and gave my 2 minute notice and turned in my laptop. In my defence, he was and still is a limp dicked coward, and he was funneling company money into an MSP that he owned. No regrets.
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Jul 28, 2021 17:59
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I made the mistake of putting a conditional formatting on a pivot table, and now my boss is trying to figure out how to get it to exactly what he wants. Im being bikeshedded in a loving 1:1
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Jul 28, 2021 18:09
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After a whole 2 weeks being open with minimal restrictions, my office had to walk it back due to skyrocketing local cases. My supervisor split most of the team into an A and B group to work alternating days, so in case one group gets exposed the other group can continue covering essential functions. Today I learned the department head is planning to continue working in office on both A and B days. She has no backup for a lot of her work, and if both A and B group get sick there's no backup left for that work either.
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Jul 28, 2021 18:26
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Antioch posted:I got put on a PIP after calling my VP a "Limp dicked embezzling coward" in an all hands meeting. Took them a month to put me on a "COVID Furlough" and then everyone was all *surprised Pikachu face* when a month later I had a new job and gave my 2 minute notice and turned in my laptop. strawberrymousse posted:Today I learned the department head is planning to continue working in office on both A and B days. She has no backup for a lot of her work, and if both A and B group get sick there's no backup left for that work either.
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Jul 28, 2021 18:45
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evil_bunnY posted:
Oh, yeah, it's just hilarious is why I posted it. I'm WFH currently thanks doctor's note! so it doesn't affect me. And my supervisor is always making excuses for the head's bad behavior, so watching her get nervous because this time it affects her personally is like 
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Jul 29, 2021 00:18
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Antioch posted:I got put on a PIP after calling my VP a "Limp dicked embezzling coward" in an all hands meeting. Took them a month to put me on a "COVID Furlough" and then everyone was all *surprised Pikachu face* when a month later I had a new job and gave my 2 minute notice and turned in my laptop. This gave me a good laugh. Thanks
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Jul 29, 2021 00:54
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