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Being mindless zombies is the best defence against a cavalry charge. Cavalry isn't all that effective against infantry in tight formation, but it was great in real life because it's psychologically almost impossible to hold your ground when a load of horses are galloping at you
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Aug 9, 2021 18:28
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The acoup blog actually had a small piece on how an army would fare against zombies: https://acoup.blog/2021/08/06/refer...ds-and-zombies/ TLDR: Basically any army from any time period would wreck even a large herd of zombies.
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Aug 9, 2021 18:39
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The problem with that is that they're taking the angle of "if you shoot a zombie in the spine it's still going to be paralyzed, if you destroy the muscles in their arms they're not going to be able to move their arms because physics still exists" when the whole idea of a reanimated corpse is by itself magical and can operate on whatever rules the writer feels like. In World War Z (not defending the book here, just as this blog uses it as an example) there were skeletons walking on the bottom of the ocean occasionally popping up on a beach. Skeletons! There isn't even any tissue! It doesn't make any sense because zombies already don't make any sense.
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Aug 9, 2021 19:05
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I won't hear any criticism of the Lannister loot train battle, it was good. Jaime's suicide charge was the best moment of that season. It sucks because it stems from Cersei exploding the pope, the beautiful and beloved young queen whose whole thing is charisma and charity, exterminating a great house with more soldiers than anyone, and ton of others to no consequence, and then is followed up by having no consequences for burning half the food of the realm. The two saddest (and only) things that happen as a result are the unjust execution of Big Dick Tarly and the sad news that Ed Sheeran was KIA. Both awful, neither of any plot relevance. Also I hate the Tyrells being killed off bc Marg is my favourite character we actually see and I really wanted to meet Willas, who never appeared in the show and will not be appearing in the books Gurm claims to be writing where he appears and matters Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Aug 9, 2021 |
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Aug 9, 2021 19:16
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:The two saddest (and only) things that happen as a result are the unjust execution of Big Dick Tarly and the sad news that Ed Sheeran was KIA. Both awful, neither of any plot relevance. To be fair, Randyl Tarly is an absolutely tremendous piece of poo poo even by the Game Of Thrones universe standards, which is a tall hill to climb.
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Aug 9, 2021 19:26
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Sanguinia posted:To be fair, Randyl Tarly is an absolutely tremendous piece of poo poo even by the Game Of Thrones universe standards, which is a tall hill to climb. True, but I meant Dickon. Despite his lovely dad, he tried his best and his only crime was being a doofus with a silly name.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:02
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He wanted to go work on Umbrella Academy and wear a dozen sweaters at once.
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Aug 9, 2021 20:05
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Sanguinia posted:I always thought that from the Lannister battle we were supposed to get the message that a Dothraki charge is unstoppable because of its sheer momentum, and this was the Super Mega Dothraki Charge which was 5 or 6 times the size of the one that smashed the Lannisters, and to boot against an army that is totally mindless, unarmed and unarmored and thus can't take any measures to counter it. We're supposed to assume that these horsemen will carve through the zombies like a hot knife through butter, like the Rohirim going through the Orcs at the climax of Return Of The King, except moreso. Granted, we know the zombies don't have moral and won't break, but they're going to be so hosed over by the speed and power of the horse charge, crushed underhoof and carved apart by those curved swords, that it won't matter, and that's all BEFORE the fire. yeah like, they should know better, you know? Jon has already fought the undead and knows what their deal is. Every medieval general would know that cavalry charges disrupt formations (which the zombies do not have) and wreck morale (which the zombies do not have). So considering they know all these things, why do they send their (light!) cavalry to charge to their certain deaths, to an enemy they can't even see?
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Aug 9, 2021 20:39
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Pattonesque posted:yeah like, they should know better, you know? Also, why do they hide from a dude who can raise the dead in a crypt full of dead bodies? The book makes it clear that the Starks are secretly magic as gently caress, and there's all sorts of wards and creepy apotropaic stuff going in the crypts, and I'm more annoyed at how mundane it is than by it being a stupid plan.
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Aug 9, 2021 22:37
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Yea they completely disregarded the universe they'd created up to that point and the knowledge of their characters, in the name of creating a visual spectacle for the viewer. And then in true D&D fashion the episode was so dark the viewers could barely see it.
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Aug 10, 2021 00:30
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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In one of the post-credits things D&D said they cut out all of the dire wolf stuff because they hate working with dogs on set.
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Aug 10, 2021 02:21
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I don't think Bran shed a single tear over Summer.
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Aug 10, 2021 02:43
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Vagabong posted:Its wild how bad the writing for the battle of winterfell was. Its not even a matter of the tactics being stupid and nonsensical, sometimes upsetting medivalists is fine if it helps you do something cool, its that it creates the entirely unforced error of turning the entire episode into and endless stakesless melee. Its a seige, its the perfect environment to have a natural progression of tension and environments, but instead the walls get breached 20 minutes in and it becomes just an endless fight in the courtyard with no real concept of how one room connects to the next. If it created some amazing dramatic moments, cool, but like you said, it just sucked on toast no matter how you look at it.
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Aug 10, 2021 03:07
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LividLiquid posted:How anybody can gently caress up a siege this badly when Army of Darkness managed to have one work properly from a dramatic standpoint despite being a slapstick comedy is beyond me. and I mean, this same series had the Battle of the Blackwater!
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Aug 10, 2021 03:18
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Imagine a Red Wedding reaction video except it's just someone going back in time their past self who just saw Alfie Allen's big speech in S2 or similar amazing Alfie moments, and telling them "yeah from here on out it's basically him sucking up to a creepy rape psychopath and winning fights by being impervious to crotch kicks"
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Aug 10, 2021 03:26
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TOOT BOOT posted:I don't think Bran shed a single tear over Summer. Bran engineered the genocide of over a million people and rolled up to the scene of the crime a week later and straight up said "Hell yes, I'm here for my throne now." Of loving course he wouldn't even care if some dog that hung around him on and off for a couple years got gat.
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Aug 10, 2021 04:08
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I also enjoyed pirate dude just walking out of the ocean, seeing Jamie and deciding to start poo poo because the script said so.
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Aug 10, 2021 04:13
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:and winning fights by being impervious to crotch kicks This was a great shark-jump moment in the show because prior to that scene I remember some people predicting that's exactly what was going to happen, since by that point, you could pretty much play the game of 'What is the most pants-on-head idiotic thing these morons could cook up here?' and sure enough they would make your dreams come true. Despite this, other people were like, "Yeah, even D&D aren't that stupid. C'mon." I like to think it put things beyond doubt for anyone who was somehow still on the fence about them.
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Aug 10, 2021 04:25
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Alfie's arc should have been him becoming the personification of "what is dead may never die" and instead of being kicked in the crotch he should've gotten some obviously fatal wound and just kept going ruining that dudes poo poo out of hard-assed spite instead. Just an utter and complete disregard for his own life and well-being and a Drowned God who takes a liking to that.
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Aug 10, 2021 12:29
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Baron von Eevl posted:The problem with that is that they're taking the angle of "if you shoot a zombie in the spine it's still going to be paralyzed, if you destroy the muscles in their arms they're not going to be able to move their arms because physics still exists" when the whole idea of a reanimated corpse is by itself magical and can operate on whatever rules the writer feels like. In World War Z (not defending the book here, just as this blog uses it as an example) there were skeletons walking on the bottom of the ocean occasionally popping up on a beach. Skeletons! There isn't even any tissue! It doesn't make any sense because zombies already don't make any sense. Magic can only carry you so far. In a battle where one side has armor and swords and the other ones has clothes and no weapons, the armored one will win every time. They don't even have to kill the zombies, just cut of their legs or arms.
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Aug 10, 2021 17:35
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Well it really depends, I have it on good authority that sometimes you need fire, valyrian steel, or obsidian to dare engage a zombie, other times, just stab the fucker so we can get these drat games of thrones over with
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Aug 10, 2021 20:51
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Well it really depends, I have it on good authority that sometimes you need fire, valyrian steel, or obsidian to dare engage a zombie, other times, just stab the fucker so we can get these drat games of thrones over with gotta move on to our next project, which has been cancelled.
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Aug 10, 2021 21:05
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Orange Devil posted:Alfie's arc should have been him becoming the personification of "what is dead may never die" and instead of being kicked in the crotch he should've gotten some obviously fatal wound and just kept going ruining that dudes poo poo out of hard-assed spite instead. The fact that Theon Greyjoy was the last line of defense between the living memory of the world and death incarnate, and "What is dead may never die," didn't come up at all is still baffling to me.
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Aug 11, 2021 04:30
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Bran just wanted to see Theon die with his own eyes after what he did to Winterfell
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Aug 11, 2021 06:15
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Sanguinia posted:The fact that Theon Greyjoy was the last line of defense between the living memory of the world and death incarnate, and "What is dead may never die," didn't come up at all is still baffling to me. David and Dan kind of forgot about meaning and symbolism.
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Aug 11, 2021 06:23
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Alhazred posted:Magic can only carry you so far. In a battle where one side has armor and swords and the other ones has clothes and no weapons, the armored one will win every time. They don't even have to kill the zombies, just cut of their legs or arms. Wight's limbs are able to move independent of their body. Plus they carry weapons of their own and are strong enough to bash through the stone in the Winterfell crypts, I don't think the tinfoil GOT calls armour will stand up to them.
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Aug 11, 2021 11:12
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Sanguinia posted:The fact that Theon Greyjoy was the last line of defense between the living memory of the world and death incarnate, and "What is dead may never die," didn't come up at all is still baffling to me. Just like "winter is coming" ended up, house words mean gently caress-all. Too bad they made that one so important to the franchise though.
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Aug 11, 2021 11:31
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I liked the attack on winterfell because the spectacle was fun and cool. But yes, it was also incredibly stupid. Almost no thought must have gone into the scenario itself from the writers beyond "wouldn't it be cool if X???"
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Aug 11, 2021 12:39
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I do like how a large part of the final seasons was characters trying to convince Cersei to help them at no benefit to herself, at least in her mind, only for her to not do it.
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Aug 11, 2021 14:01
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Zzulu posted:I liked the attack on winterfell because the spectacle was fun and cool. But yes, it was also incredibly stupid. Almost no thought must have gone into the scenario itself from the writers beyond "wouldn't it be cool if X???" A spectacle needs to be able to be seen.
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Aug 11, 2021 14:04
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Zzulu posted:I liked the attack on winterfell because the spectacle was fun and cool. But yes, it was also incredibly stupid. Almost no thought must have gone into the scenario itself from the writers beyond "wouldn't it be cool if X???" For there to be a spectacle you actually have to be able to see poo poo.
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Aug 11, 2021 14:04
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bobjr posted:I do like how a large part of the final seasons was characters trying to convince Cersei to help them at no benefit to herself, at least in her mind, only for her to not do it. Lol that whole dumb plan is the reason the wall fell
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Aug 11, 2021 14:05
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Pattonesque posted:yeah like, they should know better, you know? With weapons that until an unknown thing happens would be entirely useless. Not that the unknown thing helped. The only explanation is that they purposefully had the charge plan to make the nightman think he was about to win and to come out. They were bait... except the bait was also Raisin Bran. Who was essentially not guarded. The charge just sucks for strategic reasons, even without the glaring issues. The fact they were about to charge with useless weapons before having them ignited... just have Melisandre be part of the plan. Let her scene with Davos be before and have her say “I can light all their swords. Might help”. Otherwise Dany and Jon not absolutely losing their poo poo while watching it from 5 miles away is the dumbest thing in the episode. Which says a lot.
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Aug 11, 2021 16:10
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bobjr posted:I do like how a large part of the final seasons was characters trying to convince Cersei to help them at no benefit to herself, at least in her mind, only for her to not do it. I like how nobody even tried to ask Cersei to release Ellaria Sand from her dungeon. No one ever mentions her again after she is captured.
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Aug 11, 2021 16:21
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bobjr posted:I do like how a large part of the final seasons was characters trying to convince Cersei to help them at no benefit to herself, at least in her mind, only for her to not do it. I feel like that whole expedition into the north to bring back a zombie to convince Cersei MUST have been a workaround because GRRM's notes say "One of the dragons becomes an ice zombie somehow and melts the wall" and that's it.
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Aug 11, 2021 17:30
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yea everyone knows helmets and armor barely work and are so heavy that you need a crane to mount a horse if you wear it. If you fall off your mount you can't move for the rest of the battle and if you are unlucky enough to fall into a puddle you will drown *spins around while holding a sword*
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Aug 11, 2021 17:41
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SimonChris posted:I like how nobody even tried to ask Cersei to release Ellaria Sand from her dungeon. No one ever mentions her again after she is captured. Dany uh, kind of forgot about her allies.
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Aug 11, 2021 17:45
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Begging for Cersei's help doesn't even make sense in the context of the war against the Night King. The excuse for not invading King's Landing of civilian casualties pales in comparison to complete extinction of everyone. They could just invade and kill Cersei and take her armies and resources; it's completely justifiable to stop the Night King.
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Aug 11, 2021 18:10
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How long after the rest is the epilogue thing meant to be? 5-10 years minimum right? Considering what was rebuilt?
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Aug 11, 2021 18:27
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Cranappleberry posted:yea everyone knows helmets and armor barely work and are so heavy that you need a crane to mount a horse if you wear it. If you fall off your mount you can't move for the rest of the battle and if you are unlucky enough to fall into a puddle you will drown Everybody knows that people in the past wore armor - even though it didn't work - because they were stupid. That's why we don't nowadays, we're much smarter.
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Aug 11, 2021 18:28
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