[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Ferdinand Bardamu: Apr 30, 2013

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

https://twitter.com/WBCURadio/status/1427349736311468032

lol

No football is bad news...if your brain is made of pig poo poo. Which it is, if you live in...*checks notes* Union County.

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 18:12

meet girls at the store: Nov 4, 2002

Glumwheels posted:

Waited for 30 minutes because of insurance issues but I got my 3rd shot, arm is sore as gently caress already

congrats immunocompromised buddy, here�s hoping our side effects are really terrible because maybe it means our immune systems are working I guess?

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:47

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

are YOU a goon who is dreading to have to go back to a lovely office during a loving pandemic?
do YOU or someone you know have a knot in their stomach because their psycho boss wants them back in the office and see their smile?
are YOU able to have an internet connection for 40 hours a week and able to read, talk, and not be a total shithead on the phone?
do YOU live in Ohio, Delaware, Utah, Arizona, or Illinois?

GOOD NEWS! WE'RE HIRING!
hi, my name is business gorillas and i want to do BUSINESS! my company is currently hiring for phone jockeys in a couple different departments. it's a basic customer service gig that pays $16.00/hr starting plus a signing bonus of up to $2,000 with full benefits, including education assistance. i'm not going to lie, the job is dull and unrewarding, but WHO CARES? i bet your current job is too!

if not wanting to die because your small business tyrant work-landlord keeps masks optional is right for you, send me a dm so we can talk!!!

worried about your resume? no problem! so long as you aren't a complete fuckup, i'll help you with your resume! even if you might be a complete fuckup, i'll still look at your resume and tell you to GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

]WE LOSE ENOUGH OF OUR LIVES TO OUR WORK, GOON. THERE'S NO REASON TO LOSE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.

inquire within! my dm's are open!

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:48

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

The Shame Boy posted:

I saw that the old thread was gone and i was wondering where i'd get my daily dose of COVID terror. Thank God there is a new one!

Don't worry. Covid terror is not going anywhere

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:48

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

WaryWarren posted:

No football is bad news...if your brain is made of pig poo poo. Which it is, if you live in...*checks notes* Union County.

Fun fact! 500 years ago I "played"* football for Union.

*I was a 2nd stringer and only played when we were up 40 points lol

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:49

Korean Boomhauer: Sep 4, 2008

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

are YOU a goon who is dreading to have to go back to a lovely office during a loving pandemic?
do YOU or someone you know have a knot in their stomach because their psycho boss wants them back in the office and see their smile?
are YOU able to have an internet connection for 40 hours a week and able to read, talk, and not be a total shithead on the phone?
do YOU live in Ohio, Delaware, Utah, Arizona, or Illinois?

GOOD NEWS! WE'RE HIRING!
hi, my name is business gorillas and i want to do BUSINESS! my company is currently hiring for phone jockeys in a couple different departments. it's a basic customer service gig that pays $16.00/hr starting plus a signing bonus of up to $2,000 with full benefits, including education assistance. i'm not going to lie, the job is dull and unrewarding, but WHO CARES? i bet your current job is too!

if not wanting to die because your small business tyrant work-landlord keeps masks optional is right for you, send me a dm so we can talk!!!

worried about your resume? no problem! so long as you aren't a complete fuckup, i'll help you with your resume! even if you might be a complete fuckup, i'll still look at your resume and tell you to GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

]WE LOSE ENOUGH OF OUR LIVES TO OUR WORK, GOON. THERE'S NO REASON TO LOSE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.

inquire within! my dm's are open!

if i dont live in those states can i still get resume help

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:50

FORUMS USER 1135: Jan 14, 2004

Ran into my elderly neighbor earlier today while walking my dogs. She was telling me she just got her 3rd shot this morning, and told me to go get it "because pretty much if you are taking any drug, you 'qualify' at walgreens." Glad to hear she is reading this thread!

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:51

Korean Boomhauer: Sep 4, 2008

Sudden Loud Noise posted:

Going to buy myself a full furry costume and claim that someone is insinuating that I'm an animal.

premades aren�t that expensive

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:51

Lacrosse: Jun 16, 2010; >:V

Korean Boomhauer posted:

premades aren�t that expensive

Fursuits are PPE

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:51

Bone Crimes: Mar 7, 2007

Joementum posted:

i figured out why vermont's department of health didn't report new data today

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bennington_Battle_Day

lmao - This seems like the exact kinda thing you would know about tho

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:54

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

am i the first here to discover this gem

https://youtu.be/svkHp8amhts

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:54

cenotaph: Mar 2, 2013

Oh yeah when I was chatting with the pharmacist he mentioned that some non-compromised people were getting third shots and I was thinking yeah, I post on a forum with all of them.

He seemed dumbfounded about antivaxers and said he'd get a 3rd if he could.

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:55

McNugget Buddy: Aug 14, 2021; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

meet girls at the store posted:

Can you get an MMR booster as an adult though? Everything I�m seeing is for kids/college age adults.

Some states require a doctor's order to get it at a pharmacy, but for the most part you can just tell the pharmacist you need it for a work requirement and they'll bill your insurance. Say you work in the medical field or something - MMR boosters are commonly required there.

Call around to pharmacies/Urgent Care centers

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:55

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

good to see more posters and their acquaintances gettin 3rd jabs

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:56

The Cut of Your Jib: Apr 24, 2007; you don't find a style

a style finds you

Sudden Loud Noise posted:

Going to buy myself a full furry costume and claim that someone is insinuating that I'm an animal.

get a x-mas tree inflatable and disperse the christmas spirit far and wide

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:56

Cup Runneth Over: Aug 8, 2009; She said life's
Too short to worry
Life's too long to wait
It's too short
Not to love everybody
Life's too long to hate

meet girls at the store posted:

Actual interaction I witnessed at a pharmacy today:

Unmasked Man: �hi I�m here to get the vaccine, it�s my first dose�
Pharm Tech: �okay, unvaccinated people need to wear a mask though, I can offer you this surgical mask for use in the store�
Unmasked Man: �I�m vaccinated�

My mans got so used to lying about his vaccination status that he forgot to stop lying when he was getting the vaccine, he lied so many times that it�s a kneejerk response now

incredible, love this country

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:56

cenotaph: Mar 2, 2013

I can't get and MMR because it's attenuated, lol. The fun never stops.

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:56

turd in my singlet: Jul 5, 2008; DO ALL DA WORK

WIT YA NECK

*heavy metal music playing*; Nap Ghost

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

are YOU a goon who is dreading to have to go back to a lovely office during a loving pandemic?
do YOU or someone you know have a knot in their stomach because their psycho boss wants them back in the office and see their smile?
are YOU able to have an internet connection for 40 hours a week and able to read, talk, and not be a total shithead on the phone?
do YOU live in Ohio, Delaware, Utah, Arizona, or Illinois?

GOOD NEWS! WE'RE HIRING!
hi, my name is business gorillas and i want to do BUSINESS! my company is currently hiring for phone jockeys in a couple different departments. it's a basic customer service gig that pays $16.00/hr starting plus a signing bonus of up to $2,000 with full benefits, including education assistance. i'm not going to lie, the job is dull and unrewarding, but WHO CARES? i bet your current job is too!

if not wanting to die because your small business tyrant work-landlord keeps masks optional is right for you, send me a dm so we can talk!!!

worried about your resume? no problem! so long as you aren't a complete fuckup, i'll help you with your resume! even if you might be a complete fuckup, i'll still look at your resume and tell you to GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

]WE LOSE ENOUGH OF OUR LIVES TO OUR WORK, GOON. THERE'S NO REASON TO LOSE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.

inquire within! my dm's are open!

i live in georgia

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:58

thechosenone: Mar 21, 2009

Got my third dose just now. They tried to get me to wait for another Moderna dose, but I insisted on getting vaccinated today, and so got Pfizer. All the same to me.

# ? Aug 16, 2021 23:59

Glumwheels: Jan 25, 2003; https://twitter.com/BidenHQ

meet girls at the store posted:

congrats immunocompromised buddy, here�s hoping our side effects are really terrible because maybe it means our immune systems are working I guess?

I hope so, let�s see. Any minor weirdness I think I�m having a bad reaction to the vaccine

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:00

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

cenotaph posted:

Oh yeah when I was chatting with the pharmacist he mentioned that some non-compromised people were getting third shots and I was thinking yeah, I post on a forum with all of them.

He seemed dumbfounded about antivaxers and said he'd get a 3rd if he could.

lol pharmacists can steal almost anything they want he�s probably bullshitting you

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:01

Fluffy Bunnies: Jan 10, 2009

Korean Boomhauer posted:

if i dont live in those states can i still get resume help

if he can't, I will.

Goes for anybody in the thread.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:01

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

Korean Boomhauer posted:

if i dont live in those states can i still get resume help

yeah goon, i got you

sent you a dm

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:04

Pingui: Jun 4, 2006; WTF?

I think this is important to remember when comparing hospitalizations during the winter wave and now:

https://www.vox.com/22600439/nurse-america-mental-health-suicide posted:

Why it�s so hard to be a nurse in America, according to two nurses
Nurses were struggling even before the pandemic. We have the tools to change that.

Last month, at the start of a fourth Covid-19 wave in the US, a nurse in a Seattle-area intensive-care unit announced her resignation on Twitter. �No amount of money could convince me to stay on as a bedside ICU nurse right now,� she wrote. �I can�t continue to live with the toll on my body and mind. Even weekly therapy has not been enough to dilute the horrors I carry with me from this past year and a half.�

The nurse, Sara, who asked to be identified by her first name so she could speak freely about her experiences at work, told Vox that she�s been offered incredible bonuses in exchange for extra hours. She said she could make an entire month�s mortgage payment just by working one extra shift, but has declined. �We�re not soldiers,� Sara said. �We�re not the saviors of humanity. We�re humans who have families and the need to take care of ourselves.�
(..)
The roughly 3 million registered nurses (RNs) currently employed in the United States are, in Sara�s words, �the eyes and the ears and hands and feet of providing health care.� But nurses are leaving the profession at a staggering rate. According to a 2021 report from Nursing Solutions, the turnover rate for registered nurses last year was close to 20 percent. This leaves hospitals understaffed: About 10 percent of hospital RN positions were vacant last year, the same report found, perpetuating a cycle of burnout and likely worsening the quality of care for patients.
(..)
The other thing we�re observing is staff shortage � either people have left the workforce, or they�re ill themselves, or their loved ones are ill and they�re caring for family members. Everybody�s picking up more work. That just perpetuates the cycle. We�re on a hamster wheel here, where nurses just can�t get off.
(..)

The capacity has significantly dropped in more ways than one.

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:04

Cithen: Mar 6, 2002; Pillbug

just lmbao

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:04

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

turd in my singlet posted:

i live in georgia

we're working on expanding to all 50 states! it's just an issue with state regulations rn. i'll still look at your resume if you're looking to get into a WFH job, so lmk if you're interested

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:05

uncertainty: Aug 8, 2011

So every open biden is place is touting the "vaccine protects very well against severe cases" thing. I'm trying but actually having a pretty hard time to find out what exactly counts as a "severe case". Is it hospitalizations? Something worse?

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:05

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

turd in my singlet posted:

i live in georgia

we should start a goon address database, I will �rent� you a bedroom with an OH address for $1 a month does not include good posts!

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:05

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

empty whippet box posted:

my claim to fame on the something awful forums will be 'guy who posted 'lmao' a lot in the covid threads from 2020-2058'

Me too except there's no way I'm making it until 2058

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:06

Google Butt: Oct 4, 2005; Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

are YOU a goon who is dreading to have to go back to a lovely office during a loving pandemic?
do YOU or someone you know have a knot in their stomach because their psycho boss wants them back in the office and see their smile?
are YOU able to have an internet connection for 40 hours a week and able to read, talk, and not be a total shithead on the phone?
do YOU live in Ohio, Delaware, Utah, Arizona, or Illinois?

GOOD NEWS! WE'RE HIRING!
hi, my name is business gorillas and i want to do BUSINESS! my company is currently hiring for phone jockeys in a couple different departments. it's a basic customer service gig that pays $16.00/hr starting plus a signing bonus of up to $2,000 with full benefits, including education assistance. i'm not going to lie, the job is dull and unrewarding, but WHO CARES? i bet your current job is too!

if not wanting to die because your small business tyrant work-landlord keeps masks optional is right for you, send me a dm so we can talk!!!

worried about your resume? no problem! so long as you aren't a complete fuckup, i'll help you with your resume! even if you might be a complete fuckup, i'll still look at your resume and tell you to GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

]WE LOSE ENOUGH OF OUR LIVES TO OUR WORK, GOON. THERE'S NO REASON TO LOSE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.

inquire within! my dm's are open!

I can live in one of those states virtually

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:07

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

Koirhor posted:

we should start a goon address database, I will �rent� you a bedroom with an OH address for $1 a month does not include good posts!

i like the idea but we need you to be in the state for tax filing purposes and because we'd be sending you a computer

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:07

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

uncertainty posted:

So every open biden is place is touting the "vaccine protects very well against severe cases" thing. I'm trying but actually having a pretty hard time to find out what exactly counts as a "severe case". Is it hospitalizations? Something worse?

the severe cases is "death" and if you talk about long covid they'll start shrieking like a body snatcher

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:08

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Pingui posted:

I think this is important to remember when comparing hospitalizations during the winter wave and now:

The capacity has significantly dropped in more ways than one.

Nurses leaving for the same reason food service workers did. It's mostly assholes showing up at the hospital right now.

Thoguh fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Aug 17, 2021

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:09

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

Google Butt posted:

I can live in one of those states virtually

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:09

Cup Runneth Over: Aug 8, 2009; She said life's
Too short to worry
Life's too long to wait
It's too short
Not to love everybody
Life's too long to hate

just lol that they're going to authorize boosters before they authorize 12 and under

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:09

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

It's really hard to convey just how much worse customers at almost any customer-facing retail/service job have gotten since March 2020

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:10

McNugget Buddy: Aug 14, 2021; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Business Gorillas posted:

i like the idea but we need you to be in the state for tax filing purposes and because we'd be sending you a computer

I've been thinking about moving to Illinois for a while now, but the southern half of the state seems to be chudlands and the surrounding states are all burning from COVID

Lollapalooza didn't help my decision making

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:11

Blaziken386: Jun 27, 2013; I'm what the kids call: a big nerd

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

business gorilla pls expand to new mexico

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:11

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Even I'm just guessing at this point and I knew tons of people in the field and every single one has bailed for better jobs or just differently bad ones. These people crying to the papers and the Chamber of Commerce don't get that they're competing with lovely gig work and lovely boring call center/data input jobs, not federal UI benefits

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 18:12

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

Thoguh posted:

Nurses l having for the same reason food service workers did. It's mostly assholes showing up at the hospital right now.

a good plurality of the sick are angry chuds atm it�s loving awful

# ? Aug 17, 2021 00:12

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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