[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

Zisky posted:

Liquor stores are 100% essential.

Alcohol kills bacteria so I must cover my insides with it

# ? Aug 18, 2021 12:49

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# ? May 26, 2024 09:38

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

today, there were 60+ covid cases in NSW under 10 and they still have no strict guidelines on which families should send their kids into childcare/schools.

private hospitals are agreeing to cancel non-essential surgeries so those staff can be sent to public hospitals

some covid patients being treated in hospital car parks in NSW

another lockdown protest planned lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLnZ8bUeoIM

# ? Aug 18, 2021 12:51

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Thoguh posted:

Looking forward to reporting all Nate Silver tweets for this.

I'm gonna report everything the CDC says

# ? Aug 18, 2021 12:54

Saltpowered: Apr 12, 2010; Chief Executive Officer
Awful Industries, LLC

Another 300 positive school cases in Hillsborough. Numbers are going to be in the thousands a day next week.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 12:56

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

mastershakeman posted:

I'm gonna report everything the CDC says

start with this one:
https://twitter.com/WHO/status/1243972193169616898?s=20

# ? Aug 18, 2021 12:59

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

I love how anemic my company's work from home schedule is. It's a half time WFH, which is better than nothing TBh. Restarted it yesterday (I had the day scheduled off previously), it's every other day until Labor Day. The schedule for my department has 20 people on it 11 of them work every day, a 4 of them have consecutive days at least one of the weeks.

One of my coworkers who is supposed to be working from home, and has been here all week, so he should have seen the schedule, is here today.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:03

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

going to be late to work today because the school I live by fully OPENED UP today and traffic was a mess.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:06

turd in my singlet: Jul 5, 2008; DO ALL DA WORK

WIT YA NECK

*heavy metal music playing*; Nap Ghost

Lamebot posted:

Finally someone framed this mess in a way I can understand.

libs are starting to notice that biden isn't actually doing anything lol

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:08

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

turd in my singlet posted:

libs are starting to notice that biden isn't actually doing anything lol

Look at the date

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:13

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

Mr Hootington posted:

Look at the date

time isn�t real

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:17

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Lawlicaust posted:

Another 300 positive school cases in Hillsborough. Numbers are going to be in the thousands a day next week.

Love to make my x -axis descending by date.

Also that "preparing students for life" motto is grim these days

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:19

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

These southern schools are idiots. Don't they know you just set up a policy that says everyone has to wear masks and be 3.1 feet apart therefore no one can ever be a close contact and thus no quarantines

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:23

sonatinas: Apr 15, 2003; Seattle Karate Vs. L.A. Karate

Lawlicaust posted:

Another 300 positive school cases in Hillsborough. Numbers are going to be in the thousands a day next week.

god drat that x axis is so deliberate, shake my head every time I see a new day

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:23

Real Mean Queen: Jun 2, 2004; Zesty.

It�s weird to think of April 2020 and be like �ah, the good old days,� but here I am doing it.

The real hosed up part is that what we�re doing right now today will also be the good old days at some point fairly soon

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:23

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

https://twitter.com/brisk_god/status/1427969391241617410

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:23

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

a never ending sad trombone that ends with a wet fart

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:26

lil poopendorfer: Nov 13, 2014; by the sex ghost

Lovelyn posted:

Horrifying work story about proning:

We have 5 patients on proning rotations on the floor today. Our proning schedule is 16 hours proned, 8 hours supined/side-lying. I was helping the team when one shared a story about a patient who was proned and was lying on his dick. It went ischemic (lost blood flow) and he had 2/3 of his dick and his nuts amputated. Helluva thing to wake up to after being sedated for days/weeks.

Lots of things can go wrong when you prone a patient incorrectly, yes.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:27

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

I just don�t see how the end result of this isn�t full abandonment of these states by qualified providers. If you are a qualified nurse or doctor and have the means just loving move it�s not worth it staying when the state government is actively working against you.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:28

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

the potential soundtrack list for my entry to c-spam's 1st annual crack-ping film festival is getting too long... might have to start actually cutting some video soon

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:28

Pingui: Jun 4, 2006; WTF?

The change of tone and statistics used here is interesting I think. The fear is palpable, with an almost crack-pingesque undercurrent.

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/08/18/health/us-coronavirus-wednesday/index.html posted:

Child Covid-19 cases are steadily increasing. But with schools opening, expert warns this is just the beginning

(CNN)Cases of Covid-19 among children have steadily increased in the US since the beginning of July, according to a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics. And an expert says this rise is just the start of what is to come.

"This is happening before school starts. Schools are opening now," Dr. Peter Hotez, dean of the National School of Tropical Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine, said Tuesday. "So, Houston Independent school district opens August 23, that's going to be a huge accelerant. ... This is just the beginning, unfortunately," he told CNN's Jake Tapper.

More than 121,000 child Covid-19 cases were reported in the US last week. That's more than 14 times the number of child cases reported in the week ending June 24, AAP says.

Though that coincides with a rise in all-age case rates in the US since early summer, the proportion of child cases is up. Child cases represented 18% of the US total last week, against 14.4% over the whole pandemic, AAP says.

Health experts had hoped to get a critical threshold of the population vaccinated against Covid-19 in time to get spread under control for the new school year, but only 50.9% of the population is fully vaccinated and cases are once again on the rise.

And with the more transmissible Delta variant accounting now for nearly 99% of cases in the US, the situation is growing particularly dangerous for children, experts said.
(..)
Hotez said the US is now at a "screaming level of virus transmission," adding that to really interrupt the spread, 80 to 85% of the population will need to be vaccinated.

"We know from past epidemics what that means, the best way to do this is to vaccinate your way out of it in collaboration with masks," Hotez said. "We can't be either, or -- the only way we are going to defeat this virus is with both."
(..)
Thousands of students already quarantining
(..)
Hospital stress 'will get worse'
(..)
Boosters will not end the pandemic, expert says
(..)
Offit (edit: Dr. Paul Offit, a member of the US Food and Drug Administration's vaccine advisory committee) told CNN the process was frustrating. "You would like to think that the data would come first and then the recommendation would come second, because right now, we're all guessing what's going on."

Scott Hensley, an immunologist at the University of Pennsylvania, told CNN he is skeptical of the importance of boosters at this point in the pandemic.

"If you think a third dose of the vaccine is going to end the pandemic, then you are kidding yourself," he told CNN. "The way to end this pandemic is to get the vaccine distributed across the globe."
(..)

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:32

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Just lmao that this is the end game of a free society with few personal repercussions for spreading bad information + a general level of poor scientific literacy. Lol

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:32

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Maybe if we pumped pure oxygen into the schools??

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:33

Real Mean Queen: Jun 2, 2004; Zesty.

Der Meister posted:

a never ending sad trombone that ends with a wet fart

The wet fart continues. The poo poo sludge gradually rises to your ankles and begins to fill your shoes. Within five miles of you, someone pulls the little beaded metal chain that activates the neon OPEN sign at Chili�s. Everyone is so happy to be back to normal.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:34

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

Beginning to think we are doing this (killing the country) on purpose

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:35

Real Mean Queen: Jun 2, 2004; Zesty.

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

Beginning to think we are doing this (killing the country) on purpose

Nobody in charge of anything is smart enough to want to do that

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:35

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

Beginning to think we are doing this (killing the country) on purpose

it certainly would explain alot

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:35

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

External Organs posted:

Maybe if we pumped pure oxygen into the schools??

that would also kill kids as soon as someone sets off a spark

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:38

wash bucket: Feb 21, 2006

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

Beginning to think we are doing this (killing the country) on purpose

What would we be doing different if we were?

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:39

Whoolighams: Jul 24, 2007; Thanks Dom Monaghan

For anybody who took a Moderna after Pfizer, was there an increased reaction for it? I skated by the two Pfizers with a slight headache and fatigue

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:43

Pingui: Jun 4, 2006; WTF?

An implied acknowledgement that testing is hosed.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/18/upshot/coronavirus-test-bill-cost.html posted:

How to Avoid a Surprise Bill for Your Coronavirus Test
Get tested at a public facility. Question what services are being provided. And know your rights under federal law.

If this applies to the readership of the NYT, imagine being poor.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:47

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

External Organs posted:

Maybe if we pumped pure oxygen into the schools??

Recreating the New London School Explosion and the Apollo 1 fire all in one would certainly take people's minds off covid for a few days

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:47

slave to my cravings: Mar 1, 2007; Got my mind on doritos and doritos on my mind.

if you go to an urgent care to get tested they will also test you for like 5 other things and will probably bill both your insurance and the government for the Covid test.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:48

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

mastershakeman posted:

I'm gonna report everything the CDC says

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:50

Palladium: May 8, 2012; Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

turd in my singlet posted:

libs are starting to notice that biden isn't actually doing anything lol

Read another loving book

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:51

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Palladium posted:

Read another loving book

Lmao America's covid response is like when Emerson says in his essay Circles "This surface on which we now stand is not fixed, but sliding." Lol

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:55

Nocturtle: Mar 17, 2007

Interesting post from Carl Bergstrom about the Israeli observations of decreased efficacy:
https://twitter.com/CT_Bergstrom/status/1427767357808603139?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Each age group considered separately has high effectiveness (>85%), but it declines to 67.% when they're combined. Basically there's a lot of unvaccinated young people that don't get that sick while there's a lot of vaccinated old people that do get sick. Combining the two age groups obscures the fact that the vaccinated do significantly better than the unvaccinated within the corresponding age group. Feels a bit like P-hacking, except there's a robust physical explanation to justify "binning" the data by age.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:55

inferis: Dec 30, 2003

do you guys think any states are going to shutdown restaurants again? oregon was early on bringing the mask mandates back recently but the only time they tried to shut down indoor dining the local restaurant association sued them and they relented within a day or two

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:57

Mr. Pizza: Oct 5, 2009

i am now addicted to vaccines

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:57

Serf: May 5, 2011

inferis posted:

do you guys think any states are going to shutdown restaurants again? oregon was early on bringing the mask mandates back recently but the only time they tried to shut down indoor dining the local restaurant association sued them and they relented within a day or two

nothing is ever going to lock down again

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:57

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# ? May 26, 2024 09:38

Norton: Feb 18, 2006

Lawlicaust posted:

Another 300 positive school cases in Hillsborough. Numbers are going to be in the thousands a day next week.

I figured that included people in quarantine for exposure in addition to people testing positive, but nope looks like that's just the actual confirmed cases. A ton more people are quarantined. The schools cannot function like this.

I checked my wife's school on that dashboard and the number seems too low even for confirmed cases. She said one of her teacher co-workers was scrolling facebook last night and saw the family of one of her students post: "we appreciate all the the food and support as COVID rips through our household" Apparently the entire loving family has covid but they just kept sending their kid to school anyway. The kid is going to be denied entry today, but holy poo poo if the teacher hadnt just randomly checked facebook he'd be back in class shooting covid everywhere again.

# ? Aug 18, 2021 13:58

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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