[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

U-DO Burger posted:

my work is being stubborn and is basically trying to torpedo my homeschooling plan by insisting that my work schedule isn't nearly as flexible as they first implied. part of the reason they gave was because other people have been quitting and so they need others to fill in the schedule gaps

feeling pretty close to going for the nuclear option and just quitting and laughing in their faces as it dawns on them how hosed they are now that most of their staff is loving gone, but goddamn it would be hard to find wfh employment on short notice

I saw business gorilla was posting recently recruiting wfh people. Could be worth a pm

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:07

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# ? May 20, 2024 22:13

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

fosborb posted:

just matches on the peak of both. I know I at least was expecting the ratio to change this wave, but so far it really isn't. my initial guess is that vaccinated people aren't really testing either, so it's still primarily testing and deaths of unvaccinated people

yep that's why i think real cases are at least 300k daily, we're just seeing way, way way more asymptomatics than ever before. and with masking gone its made it easier for the unvaccinated to catch when they went a whole year without doing so

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:07

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

LA County opening up more vaccine hours

Hello I�m Justin Phora Prick

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Aug 19, 2021

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:08

post COVID: Mar 5, 2007; free college, free healthcare, free Shmurda

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

are YOU a goon who is dreading to have to go back to a lovely office during a loving pandemic?
do YOU or someone you know have a knot in their stomach because their psycho boss wants them back in the office and see their smile?
are YOU able to have an internet connection for 40 hours a week and able to read, talk, and not be a total shithead on the phone?
do YOU live in Ohio, Delaware, Utah, Arizona, or Illinois?

GOOD NEWS! WE'RE HIRING!
hi, my name is business gorillas and i want to do BUSINESS! my company is currently hiring for phone jockeys in a couple different departments. it's a basic customer service gig that pays $16.00/hr starting plus a signing bonus of up to $2,000 with full benefits, including education assistance. i'm not going to lie, the job is dull and unrewarding, but WHO CARES? i bet your current job is too!

if not wanting to die because your small business tyrant work-landlord keeps masks optional is right for you, send me a dm so we can talk!!!

worried about your resume? no problem! so long as you aren't a complete fuckup, i'll help you with your resume! even if you might be a complete fuckup, i'll still look at your resume and tell you to GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

]WE LOSE ENOUGH OF OUR LIVES TO OUR WORK, GOON. THERE'S NO REASON TO LOSE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.

inquire within! my dm's are open!

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:08

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

If business gorilla's company starts hiring in every state, he's gonna finally have enough money to get through that plexiglass barrier at the business enclosure

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:09

KlavierVogel: Feb 27, 2004; [] an old crow spoke to me [] busted leg limped down the street [] said we're both tied to our own trees [] cut me loose, cut me loose []

Welp I had a disgusting thing happen to me today! I went to my employer's "employee appreciation picnic" at the local amusement park and, while riding the tamest super-old wooden rollercoaster, I got pegged IN THE EYE with a giant wad of phlegm or snot or something. It happened while going through a dark tunnel, so it was like a horror movie or something: I felt something wet hit my face, I reached up to wipe it away and I'm like OMG STICKY. There was so much... It got all in my hair too :gonk:

I was wearing a KN95 (of course) but I had contacts in instead of my normal glasses... If I get sick from this, man, I can't even.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:10

Good Citizen: Aug 12, 2008; trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump

mastershakeman posted:

yep that's why i think real cases are at least 300k daily, we're just seeing way, way way more asymptomatics than ever before. and with masking gone its made it easier for the unvaccinated to catch when they went a whole year without doing so

also most people are just taking at home tests and nobody is reporting poo poo

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:10

Barry Soteriology: Mar 1, 2020

KlavierVogel posted:

Welp I had a disgusting thing happen to me today! I went to my employer's "employee appreciation picnic" at the local amusement park and, while riding the tamest super-old wooden rollercoaster, I got pegged IN THE EYE with a giant wad of phlegm or snot or something. It happened while going through a dark tunnel, so it was like a horror movie or something: I felt something wet hit my face, I reached up to wipe it away and I'm like OMG STICKY. There was so much... It got all in my hair too I was wearing a KN95 (of course) but I had contacts in instead of my normal glasses... If I get sick from this, man, I can't even.

rip

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:11

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

KlavierVogel posted:

Welp I had a disgusting thing happen to me today! I went to my employer's "employee appreciation picnic" at the local amusement park and, while riding the tamest super-old wooden rollercoaster, I got pegged IN THE EYE with a giant wad of phlegm or snot or something. It happened while going through a dark tunnel, so it was like a horror movie or something: I felt something wet hit my face, I reached up to wipe it away and I'm like OMG STICKY. There was so much... It got all in my hair too I was wearing a KN95 (of course) but I had contacts in instead of my normal glasses... If I get sick from this, man, I can't even.

hmm, gross

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:11

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

business gorillas please open for business in WA in the next week or so, thanks in advance

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:12

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

https://twitter.com/bangordailynews/status/1428411392999268354?s=19
:rip:

rear end in a top hat

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:13

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

My roommate just told me to go to the strip club because apparently I'm on my period.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:13

JAY ZERO SUM GAME: Oct 18, 2005; Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.

i walked into a warehouse today where no one was wearing masks. myself and the two people with me, all kn95/etc. masks.

every time i walked into a new area, i was surprised to find no one wearing a mask

...but i was at another of their locations earlier in the week, and everyone was wearing masks????

another example of the herd mentality behind mask wearing, i suppose

e: in harlem

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:14

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Iron Crowned posted:

My roommate just told me to go to the strip club because apparently I'm on my period.

What's a more embarrassing way to get COV19

-local Strip club
-Getting it Obama's birthday part after he made one of his boring speeches

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:15

Pillowpants: Aug 5, 2006

Ok,

I found the Data on HHS website.

https://imgur.com/Id8Wc5b

It appears as though we have 193,000 beds left across the country.

3500 (Now) COVID hospitalizations a day = 55 days until collapse

Pillowpants fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Aug 19, 2021

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:15

actionjackson: Jan 12, 2003

Asproigerosis posted:

I don't understand the difference between a locust and a grasshopper

locusts are more badass, there was a locust plaque in a little book you may have heard of... THE BIBLE

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:16

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

etalian posted:

What's a more embarrassing way to get COV19

-local Strip club
-Getting it Obama's birthday part after he made one of his boring speeches

- Phish show

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:16

Impotence: Nov 8, 2010; Lipstick Apathy

Pillowpants posted:

Ok,

I found the Data on HHS website.

https://imgur.com/Id8Wc5b

It appears as though we have 193,000 beds left across the country.

i will now cherry pick this sentence and go "see we have more than enough beds for everyone theres literlaly zero shortage" ignoring the fact that airlifting someone on a vent from florida to california is idiotic

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:16

ram dass in hell: Dec 29, 2019

KlavierVogel posted:

Welp I had a disgusting thing happen to me today! I went to my employer's "employee appreciation picnic" at the local amusement park and, while riding the tamest super-old wooden rollercoaster, I got pegged IN THE EYE with a giant wad of phlegm or snot or something. It happened while going through a dark tunnel, so it was like a horror movie or something: I felt something wet hit my face, I reached up to wipe it away and I'm like OMG STICKY. There was so much... It got all in my hair too I was wearing a KN95 (of course) but I had contacts in instead of my normal glasses... If I get sick from this, man, I can't even.

I'm welding my door shut and never leaving the house ever again

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:18

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

You know whenever a GOP Chud congressman gets COV19 they will do everything in their power to cheat the Ghana coffin dancers.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:19

Barry Soteriology: Mar 1, 2020

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:19

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

etalian posted:

What's a more embarrassing way to get COV19

-local Strip club
-Getting it Obama's birthday part after he made one of his boring speeches

Oof, Obama's Birthday Party by a country mile.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:20

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

Mr Interweb posted:

https://twitter.com/Xenos_RIFS/stat...r%3D718lastpost

the cool thing is its now socially acceptable (relatively) to dance on these peoples graves.

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:20

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Iron Crowned posted:

My roommate just told me to go to the strip club because apparently I'm on my period.

lmfao

I realized today that I haven't been on a plane in over three years. Doing my part (safely) (from home).

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:21

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

Topo Chico Debarge posted:

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:21

actionjackson: Jan 12, 2003

Steve Yun posted:

LMAO

what am I even looking at here

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:21

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Steve Yun posted:

LMAO

iphone charge cable with a bandaid

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:22

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

Topo Chico Debarge posted:

mastershakeman noooooooooo

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:22

Spergin Morlock: Aug 8, 2009

KlavierVogel posted:

Welp I had a disgusting thing happen to me today! I went to my employer's "employee appreciation picnic" at the local amusement park and, while riding the tamest super-old wooden rollercoaster, I got pegged IN THE EYE with a giant wad of phlegm or snot or something. It happened while going through a dark tunnel, so it was like a horror movie or something: I felt something wet hit my face, I reached up to wipe it away and I'm like OMG STICKY. There was so much... It got all in my hair too I was wearing a KN95 (of course) but I had contacts in instead of my normal glasses... If I get sick from this, man, I can't even.

thats not how pegging works

# ? Aug 19, 2021 20:22