[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

NPR is running a story *right now* about how the virus is endemic now and we just have to live with it.

Odd how every English language news outlet seized on this point at the exact same time.

learn 2 cope-vid

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:26

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# ? May 30, 2024 06:21

Sad Billionaire: Mar 31, 2009; What a twist; Fan of Britches

Tzen posted:

We take our responsibility to provide safe and healthy learning spaces seriously

oof big mistake putting it in writing that you have any responsibility for student safety

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:27

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

WampaLord posted:

i'm sure this got posted but god drat

https://twitter.com/JennaForTruth/status/1430986391979180035?s=20

tried to google which county this was and holy poo poo lmao

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:27

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Google Butt posted:

do any of these "well its endemic 😭" articles address the healthcare implosion at all lol im not about to find out

hospitals, like water.. gas... plastic bags... are just infinite utilities that never run out. just keep grabbing more and more, it's an infinite supply

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:27

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Judge Dredd Scott posted:

https://twitter.com/KidRock/status/719983895043829760

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hafOyo6x-6o

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:28

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

uber_stoat posted:

another one of our boys turning blue has fallen in the line of doody.

https://twitter.com/kenklippenstein/status/1431305876762202118?s=20

I comedy farce in 4 points

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:28

Boat Stuck: Apr 20, 2021; I tried to sneak through the canal, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the ship's stuck! Outta my way son! BOAT STUCK! BOAT STUCK!

Boat Stuck posted:

I just called my parents in GA about 3rd dose MAX TITERS, and they were completely uninterested. Mom votes blue, and stepdad leans slightly conservative, but doesn't care enough to go against my mom.

I had to fly to Atlanta and herd them to Walgreens for their first dose, so perhaps this isn't too surprising. At least they got their second dose on time by themselves.

If they don't get their 3rd dose by Thanksgiving, I can make them get it then.

oh yeah, stepdad runs a wholesale warehouse, and he already got covid (mild) once last December from eating an indoors meal with a bunch of his old classmates, so the entire time he's like it's no big deal, "i got it, everyone i know got it, we're all fine" etc etc

I asked him what about the customer of his that got covid and died

he responded "oh him, right. he had a bunch of preexisting conditions blah blah blah"

sigh. at least they're already significantly better than their peer group

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:29

post COVID: Mar 5, 2007; free college, free healthcare, free Shmurda

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

NPR is running a story *right now* about how the virus is endemic now and we just have to live with it.

Odd how every English language news outlet seized on this point at the exact same time.

it's in all of the deer in the US, they're not wrong

just missing the part where we should blame the ruling class and make sure politicians are among the corpses

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:29

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

fosborb posted:

tried to google which county this was and holy poo poo lmao

seems bad!

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:29

cr0y: Mar 24, 2005

Anyone else shorting the market? I feel like once schools start cracking and Biden officially changes direction on boosters the general public might freak again.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:29

TheMightyBoops: Nov 1, 2016

cr0y posted:

Anyone else shorting the market? I feel like once schools start cracking and Biden officially changes direction on boosters the general public might freak again.

getting the exact timing wrong on shorting the market would be devastating.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:30

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

cr0y posted:

Anyone else shorting the market? I feel like once schools start cracking and Biden officially changes direction on boosters the general public might freak again.

That is not how the market works

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:30

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

cr0y posted:

Anyone else shorting the market? I feel like once schools start cracking and Biden officially changes direction on boosters the general public might freak again.

the only thing that would cause a panic is a real lockdown, like the kind we never had, and we're not even gonna do a fake lockdown again

"kill millions for number" is our new fiscal policy (always has been)

invest in CSV and SCI

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:31

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Pryor on Fire posted:

That is not how the market works

If anything goes bad the Fed with make some Office Depot runs to get some more ink for the money printer.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:31

SchrodingersCat: Aug 23, 2011

Hurricane Ida is predicted to hit the coast of Louisiana sometime Sunday as either a high-end category 3 or low-end category 4 hurricane. Multiple parts of LA being ordered to evacuate.

Looks like a COVID pimple just popped. A direct category 3-4 hit anywhere on the coast of LA is going to cause a lot of deaths and injuries in an already overwhelmed system, and just imagine all that COVID filled human waste being dredged up to the surface.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:31

Boat Stuck: Apr 20, 2021; I tried to sneak through the canal, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the ship's stuck! Outta my way son! BOAT STUCK! BOAT STUCK!

cr0y posted:

Anyone else shorting the market? I feel like once schools start cracking and Biden officially changes direction on boosters the general public might freak again.

"The Market Can Remain Irrational Longer Than You Can Remain Solvent"

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:31

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

cr0y posted:

Anyone else shorting the market? I feel like once schools start cracking and Biden officially changes direction on boosters the general public might freak again.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:32

Grey Fox: Jan 5, 2004

https://twitter.com/PizzoHistorian/status/1431314658472996874 simply incredible

All that effort to act in complete denial of the poo poo we're in, and only made it a week

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:32

Marlow: Jan 11, 2007; Foreign dokaebi

etalian posted:

lol

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/covid-hospitals-near-you.html

It is so perfectly NYT brained that they paywall their hospital availability site.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:32

Dixon Chisholm: Jan 2, 2020

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

it's a tuber you rube.

and round these parts we gently caress the tubers.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:32

elaboration: Feb 21, 2020

number might get mad soon, the fed seems to be moving to stop purchasing bonds en masse so

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:33

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

SchrodingersCat posted:

Hurricane Ida is predicted to hit the coast of Louisiana sometime Sunday as either a high-end category 3 or low-end category 4 hurricane. Multiple parts of LA being ordered to evacuate.

Looks like a COVID pimple just popped. A direct category 3-4 hit anywhere on the coast of LA is going to cause a lot of deaths and injuries in an already overwhelmed system, and just imagine all that COVID filled human waste being dredged up to the surface.

can you catch COVID from drinking waste water

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:33

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

SchrodingersCat posted:

Hurricane Ida is predicted to hit the coast of Louisiana sometime Sunday as either a high-end category 3 or low-end category 4 hurricane. Multiple parts of LA being ordered to evacuate.

Looks like a COVID pimple just popped. A direct category 3-4 hit anywhere on the coast of LA is going to cause a lot of deaths and injuries in an already overwhelmed system, and just imagine all that COVID filled human waste being dredged up to the surface.

systems collapse baby, wheels are coming off the wagon. everything old is new again.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:33

Lacrosse: Jun 16, 2010; >:V

Tzen posted:

Really love these SPS emails. Bolding/underlining is theirs.

Families and staff have also shared concern about the COVID-19 Delta variant. We take our responsibility to provide safe and healthy learning spaces seriously, and we will continue to monitor cases in our community in partnership with public health officials.

We are legally required by the state and excited to provide in-person learning this school year. You can help us support a safe return to school buildings by continuing to follow the guidance of public health experts, including wearing a mask, getting vaccinated, and limiting non-essential activities if not vaccinated. We have strong protocols in our school buildings, but transmission occurs in less structured spaces in the community. We all have to do our part to keep each other safe, including in our school environments.

Thank you Superintendent Brent Jones, it's nice to know that if my child gets covid, it's the fault of less structured spaces in the community.

In-person learning being mandated by law, making distance learning illegal, was a great big crack ping for me

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:33

SchrodingersCat: Aug 23, 2011

Pryor on Fire posted:

That is not how the market works

The stock market is never going to experience another COVID-caused drop like it did in April 2020, the stock market generally anticipates changes months in advance. COVID has already been factored in, and the market says "MORE BLOOD FOR NUMBER". The initial COVID market collapse was because it was a black swan event.

The fact that the stock market is still going up tells you there will be no more lockdowns.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:33

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

anyone else making mad bank off untold amounts of suffering? cant let the billionaires get it all!!1

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:33

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Unc is fully remote.

Imagine all other state schools in NC will follow suit

https://twitter.com/pizzohistorian/status/1431314658472996874?s=21

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:34

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

kinda feeling like each day i am resembling wampalord's avatar just a lil more

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:34

Sad Billionaire: Mar 31, 2009; What a twist; Fan of Britches

Grey Fox posted:

https://twitter.com/PizzoHistorian/status/1431314658472996874 simply incredible

All that effort to act in complete denial of the poo poo we're in, and only made it a week

who could have seen this coming
https://twitter.com/UNC/status/1428089888843444228

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:34

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

"doc you gotta give me something to make me feel better."

"how about some feel-betterol? it instantly makes you feel better."

"nah, got any horse paste?"

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:35

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

F I R S T S I P S

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:35

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Schnorkles posted:

kinda feeling like each day i am resembling wampalord's avatar just a lil more

we'll all get there in time

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:36

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

I'm sure this is nothing at all to worry about :

https://www.newframe.com/south-africas-potential-new-variant/

quote:

New research published this week suggests that South Africa, where more than 13% of adults are now fully vaccinated against Covid-19, may be facing a new variant of the virus. The Department of Health has alerted the World Health Organization, which is monitoring the situation.

The variant, identified by researchers from the National Institute of Communicable Diseases and the KwaZulu-Natal Research Innovation and Sequencing Platform, is being referred to as the �C.1.2 lineage�. The majority of C.1.2 lineage sequences from around the world so far are from South Africa.

C.1.2 was first detected in Mpumalanga and Gauteng in May, near the beginning of the country�s third wave of infections. A month later, it had shown up in KwaZulu-Natal and Limpopo, as well as in England and China. By 13 August, C.1.2 had also been detected in the Eastern Cape, Western Cape and Northern Cape � meaning it was circulating in seven of South Africa�s nine provinces � along with Botswana, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Mauritius, New Zealand, Portugal and Switzerland.

reminder that the B.1.351 variant from SA, which was confirmed to evade antibodies and vaccines, is speculated to have come about because of the higher portion of the population with AIDS/compromised immune systems which are a perfect breeding ground for immune evading variants

lmao. i remember when delta was "the indian double mutant" and the first cases popped up in san francisco. starting to get that same sense of dread here

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:36

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Grey Fox posted:

https://twitter.com/PizzoHistorian/status/1431314658472996874 simply incredible

All that effort to act in complete denial of the poo poo we're in, and only made it a week

ironically, this is where zeynep tufecki teaches

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:36

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Sad Billionaire posted:

who could have seen this coming
https://twitter.com/UNC/status/1428089888843444228

this is the worst loss edit i've ever seen

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:36

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

empty whippet box posted:

"doc you gotta give me something to make me feel better."

"how about some feel-betterol? it instantly makes you feel better."

"nah, got any horse paste?"

lmao

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:36

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

Mr Hootington posted:

I wish iowa did updates!

All of the counties with people in them do daily updates on the county website. If you're in Polk, Johnson, Linn, Scott, or a couple of others you cans still get local info at least.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:36

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Schnorkles posted:

kinda feeling like each day i am resembling wampalord's avatar just a lil more

Personally, I can't wait until I get turned into a servoskull

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:37

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

Well my 100pk of kn95 masks for my 4 year old came just in time for school. She was supposed to start Wednesday in her prek program but early dismissals for a heatwave saved her a bit.

Ct public schools are open Biden, at least with a mask mandate

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:37

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# ? May 30, 2024 06:21

mod sassinator: Dec 13, 2006; I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

Grey Fox posted:

https://twitter.com/PizzoHistorian/status/1431314658472996874 simply incredible

All that effort to act in complete denial of the poo poo we're in, and only made it a week

ahahahahahaaha

# ? Aug 27, 2021 19:37

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