[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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mawarannahr: May 21, 2019; Can't post for 4 hours!

what happens if you run out of crack?

# ? Aug 27, 2021 22:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 23:12

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Stevie Lee posted:

https://twitter.com/gnot_paul/status/1431339349669515265?s=19
rip

Just when I thought Kamala couldn't be any more unelectable.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 22:58

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

mawarannahr posted:

what happens if you run out of crack?

people on full ping are so annoying

# ? Aug 27, 2021 22:58

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Cat 5 is trending wrt Ida. :crackping:

# ? Aug 27, 2021 22:59

Substandard: Oct 16, 2007; 3rd street for life

super sweet best pal posted:

Cat 5 is trending wrt Ida.

They should replace it all with Cat 6 if they want gigabit.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:02

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

Consummate Professional posted:

people on full ping are so annoying

liberals have started calling them 'pingheads'

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:02

Twigand Berries: Sep 7, 2008

ok ok now do locusts!

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:03

Casey Finnigan: Apr 30, 2009; Dumb ✔
So goddamn crazy ✔

watching the chernobyl miniseries now makes the late soviet union look amazingly competent compared to the usa

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:06

Lacrosse: Jun 16, 2010; >:V

I think I figured out why it's so important to get kids back into school: thanks to the labor shortages they need to bring prison labor in to fill all those jobs, but what if there aren't enough prisoners to go around? Enter Copmala, who will jail any parent not willing to send their kids into the Covid mines.

Capitalism is saved!

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:06

blunt: Jul 7, 2005

Schnorkles posted:

oh and Matthew Yglesias is suggesting on twitter that people should take an SSRI to treat their covid

Unlike the horse paste, there's actually multiple studies to back this idea up:

quote:

Lenze�s study involved 152 patients, of whom about half received a placebo. He found that none of the 80 who received the drug experienced medical deterioration such as shortness of breath or the need for hospitalization, while six of the 72 who got a placebo did show those medical symptoms. Lenze is scheduled to discuss the results at a symposium sponsored by the National Institutes of Health on Friday.

Another small trial, involving employees at the Berkeley racetrack Golden Gate Fields following a disease outbreak in January, found that none of the 77 workers who opted to try fluvoxamine required hospitalization, compared with six of the 48 who refused the drug.

The largest and most painstaking trial produced the most scientifically valid results. That�s a just-completed trial in Brazil with 1,472 patients randomly divided into fluvoxamine and placebo groups.

The so-called Together Trial has been testing several purported treatments; we reported recently on its findings that neither Ivermectin nor hydroxychloroquine had any therapeutic effect on COVID-19.

The results on fluvoxamine were strikingly different. �This is the first drug we�ve tried out that found a significant effect,� Edward J. Mills, who oversees the Together Trial out of McMaster University in Canada, told me.

The fluvoxamine patients experienced about a 30% reduction in risk � defined as longer than six hours� observation in an emergency department or hospitalization � compared with the placebo group.

The results yielded a 99.6% probability that fluvoxamine works better than a placebo, Mills told a National Institutes of Health symposium on Aug. 6. That�s a worthy goal, since keeping patients out of the ER or inpatient wards will help to alleviate the sort of surges in cases being seen throughout the country now.

It's also specifically only fluvoxamine, as opposed to any/all SSRIs. Something to do with its ability to inhibit cytokine storms. Idk, not a scientist 🤷‍♂️

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:07

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Casey Finnigan posted:

watching the chernobyl miniseries now makes the late soviet union look amazingly competent compared to the usa

In real life, Legasov told Shcherbina that he needed 2500 tonnes of lead but they could probably get by with 500 tonnes if that was all the government could afford. Shcherbina delivered 2500 tonnes the next morning and told Legasov they could have another 5000 tonnes if needed.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:08

Casey Finnigan: Apr 30, 2009; Dumb ✔
So goddamn crazy ✔

Lacrosse posted:

I think I figured out why it's so important to get kids back into school: thanks to the labor shortages they need to bring prison labor in to fill all those jobs, but what if there aren't enough prisoners to go around? Enter Copmala, who will jail any parent not willing to send their kids into the Covid mines.

Capitalism is saved!

the biden administration seemed to go internally knives out against her for reasons I cannot comprehend and now she has been banished overseas to embarrass herself perpetually

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:08

Grey Fox: Jan 5, 2004

lol UNC Chapel Hill is telling its students to get tested at the university clinic, but the clinic is closed on the weekend

quote:

As COVID-19 cases are quickly rising at UNC-Chapel Hill, more students are rushing to get tested. But some say they�re facing long lines, no open appointments and confusion about how to get a test.

UNC-CH reported a spike of 100 new cases in two days heading into the weekend, when social activity is high and testing isn�t available. More than 350 cases have been reported among students and employees since Aug. 1, with at least one cluster in a dorm, the UNC-CH COVID-19 dashboard shows.

The testing site closes early on Friday and is not open on Saturdays and Sundays. So, the first opportunity for many students to get a COVID-19 test is Monday. That concerns some students because weekends include social activities where the virus is likely to spread.

�A little bit ridiculous that UNC�s only testing site closes at 2 p.m. today and doesn�t open at all this weekend as case count and student anxiety rise,� junior Claire Perry tweeted on Friday.

https://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/education/article253792883.html

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:08

text editor: Jan 8, 2007

Steve Yun posted:

they’re buying ivermectin from Ali express now

"30days?! Why does it take so long for my China Virus pills to ship here?"

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:09

Notorious R.I.M.: Jan 27, 2004; up to my ass in alligators

very cool that the gulf states are about to have a strong hurricane to deal with as well as their ongoing covid disaster.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:10

Substandard: Oct 16, 2007; 3rd street for life

Notorious R.I.M. posted:

very cool that the gulf states are about to have a strong hurricane to deal with as well as their ongoing covid disaster.

Maybe they should get vaccinated.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:11

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

blunt posted:

Unlike the horse paste, there's actually multiple studies to back this idea up:

It's also specifically only fluvoxamine, as opposed to any/all SSRIs. Something to do with its ability to inhibit cytokine storms. Idk, not a scientist 🤷‍♂️

i've read the studies, i work in the field

none of this particularly compelling or interesting

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:11

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Gravybong posted:

some of those that work forces
want the paste that’s for horses

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Those who died
Or just went blind
Were taking the meds
From the Tractor Supply

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:12

Morbus: May 18, 2004

Epic High Five posted:

Mid-July 2019 nursing homes in the area have a mysterious respiratory illness scything through them

Aug 5 2019 Fort Detrick is ordered to immediately cease all activity until its wastewater sterilization is fixed as it had been broken

October 18 2019 military personnel from all over the world fly into Wuhan to take place in a weeklong Olympics-style (complete with suck and gently caress village for the athletes) games

Late December 2019 China starts seeing the first cases of an odd pneumonia (sample testing would find that cases could be traced back as early as November)

No public report has been made on any of this nor any results of samples taken from the lab, wastewater, or nursing homes.

Oh and the whole "vaping is destroying lungs" thing happened about the same time. Fort Detrick is one of the super biolevel labs where the US experiments on and houses all kinds of nasty diseases, coronaviruses among them

Only problem with this theory is it posits that the US had the foresight and competence to suppress the initial domestic outbreaks, only to succumb to the virus after it become widespread elsewhere.

Which, lol, lmao.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:13

One More Fat Nerd: Apr 13, 2007; Mama’s Lil’ Louie; Nap Ghost

My brother is a long haul trucker, he's got covid in Colorado Springs and the rest of the family (in SC) is trying to see about getting Power of Attorney set up before he gets intubated (likely soon, on something called a BIPAP now.) unfortunately we just found out all this like, in the last few hours.

Any ideas on how to get a lawyer in colorado at 4pm on a friday? So far, I called a legal aid site, the legal dept at the hospital, the hospital social worker, and the el paso county bar association lawyers. Waiting on calls back.

This sucks.

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:13

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

One More Fat Nerd posted:

My brother is a long haul trucker, he's got covid in Colorado Springs and the rest of the family (in SC) is trying to see about getting Power of Attorney set up before he gets intubated (likely soon, on something called a BIPAP now.) unfortunately we just found out all this like, in the last few hours.

Any ideas on how to get a lawyer in colorado at 4pm on a friday? So far, I called a legal aid site, the legal dept at the hospital, the hospital social worker, and the el paso county bar association lawyers. Waiting on calls back.

This sucks.

I don't have any specific help to offer but I am in Colorado Springs if you need someone to do something physically.

I've heard good things about this place. https://www.justicecentercos.org/

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:15

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Substandard posted:

Maybe they should get vaccinated.

too late logistically

makes landfall sunday and its like 3 months queue if everyone decides to do it right now

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:16

Buffer: May 6, 2007; I sometimes turn down sex and blowjobs from my girlfriend because I'm too busy posting in D&D. PS: She used my credit card to pay for this.

Substandard posted:

Maybe they should get vaccinated.

they will be, by hurricane force fecal aerosol plumes

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:16

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Is the together trial finally published? The slides from it discredited ivermectin and credited the ssri so id like to see the whole thing

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:16

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Lastgirl posted:

too late logistically

makes landfall sunday and its like 3 months queue if everyone decides to do it right now

open biden

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:16

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

I�m at a fast food place to buy a soda and there�s a guy in front of me with a napkin held to his face for a mask

# ? Aug 27, 2021 23:16

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!