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Update 50: One Piece of Paper (Silence) I hesitate a little before opening the door to Lilly's room again, quickly rehearsing what I should say if I get questioned about Hanako. After a few seconds, I still can't come up with anything.  I open the door and make sure to close it behind me, lest any passing students catch a glimpse of the wine, before turning my attention to the two girls at the low table. Akira's casually smiling, as is Lilly. I welcome the change from the mood in Hanako's room.  LILLY: "Is that you, Hisao?"  HISAO: "Yeah. I got Hanako to her bed; she's sleeping now." LILLY: "That's good. I have to admit I hadn't thought that she'd drink quite so much."  AKIRA: "Hey, it's fine. She's all safe and tucked up in bed now. With the way she is..." She awkwardly trails off, though Lilly and I would hardly protest. For someone so anxious and fearful, drinking would give an easy out from those constant feelings. Katawa Shoujo OST - Nocturne I wish I could do more for her. I feel useless. Looking at Lilly, I think back to what I asked myself in town. My relationship with her is that of a friend, and has only ever felt that way, but now I think I know why. Lilly's been there for both Hanako and me since I first met her, but she's like that for everyone, trying to do her best to make them feel better. With that in mind, then what's the bond between me and Hanako? After rescuing our relationship following the panic attack I inadvertently triggered during class, I feel like we're back to being friends, but she's on my mind more and more. I can't say I view any other girl in quite the same way, but maybe it's just a normal reaction to someone acting like this. HISAO: "Say, Akira?" She yawns before looking at me. It is getting pretty late. HISAO: "You know about what happened with Hanako, don't you?" AKIRA: "Yeah. Lilly told me. I negotiated pretty hard for a break so I could come down and help make her birthday a bit brighter. We get along pretty well." It's surprising to hear that from someone as extroverted as her, but if Hanako came to know her through Lilly, maybe she had time to get used to Akira. AKIRA: "And on that note, I'd better get going. I'm already going to be a bit late as it is." LILLY: "But it's already so late..." AKIRA: "Sorry. We got a bunch of work dropped on us, so overtime it is." She levers herself up with a grunt and heads past me towards the door. Just before she leaves, she turns back towards us. AKIRA: "You haven't forgotten about the time for the flight and all the rest?" LILLY: "Don't worry, I have everything ready. It's just a matter of packing when it gets closer to the time to leave." AKIRA: "'Atta girl. I'll see you guys later, then." And with that, she disappears through the door with her hand held high in farewell. HISAO: "Your sister is... something, all right." I probably should have thought that comment through before saying it. Regardless, Lilly seems quite amused at my appraisal. HISAO: "You okay after all that drinking? Not wasted and just hiding it well?" LILLY: "I assure you, I am quite all right. I can moderate myself. You seem quite self-possessed as well, if I do say so myself." HISAO: "Yeah, well, I guess your moderation applies to me as well." With a little hesitation, I take a seat at the table in front of Lilly. I want to address this directly, if for no other reason than to settle my own thoughts. HISAO: "I've been meaning to ask this, but it took me a while to make up my mind... Do you have any idea about what triggered that panic attack? I gathered it was something to do with her birthday, but I don't know anything more. Even Akira was being really careful around her, so I assume she knows as well." Lilly's smile drops, the gaiety of the birthday party now well and truly over. LILLY: "To be honest, I'm not sure of all of the details myself. Hanako told you that she was in a house fire. She told me as much, after we met and spent a lot of time together. Other than that... she quite simply never told me." HISAO: "She never told you..."  LILLY: "Assuming the worst, what does she have to look back upon? A life of isolation and possibly even the death of her family? Maybe even going as far as blaming her existence for their deaths?" Even thinking about what little I know of Hanako's past is bleak. To have lived through all that, and to live on with those memories, must be infinitely worse. Lilly looks similarly depressed, but I can see her rebuild at least some of her composure before my eyes. I get the feeling that both of us are talking more frankly than we might otherwise do thanks to the wine, but it feels like just talking this out is a good thing anyway. HISAO: "I feel kind of helpless about it. When it's put like that, what can I possibly do for her?" LILLY: "I'm not wholly sure I should tell you this, but Hanako told me that you visited her the day after we both went to check on her. I must admit that I did not predict she would take such a step so quickly after what happened, nor did I expect you to. I think it was a nice gesture on your part." HISAO: "It wasn't much, really. It's just... at times like this, I sometimes think it would be better if we never had to leave Yamaku, or at least this town. Things are so much easier without others around." I didn't expect Lilly to look quite so troubled at what I say, and for a while she looks lost in thought. She moves to speak, but stops herself as soon as she does, and rethinks. It's a bit off-putting. LILLY: "I think... Tell me, do you have anything planned for Friday evening?" HISAO: "Friday evening? No... Isn't your flight to Scotland the next day? I don't think it would be a good idea to tire yourself out before you even get there." LILLY: "I'll be all right, you needn't worry about me. I'd do this tomorrow evening, but I imagine Hanako will be feeling rather off for a while." The thought of how she's going to be tomorrow makes me grimace. Maybe we should count our blessings that she didn't end up simply throwing up from drinking so much while having such a low tolerance. HISAO: "Well, I'm going to be able to attend whatever you are planning. What is it?"  LILLY: "Nothing unusual, I assure you. Just a little excursion. And you'd better be off, Hisao. I can't imagine it's long at all until curfew is here." Oh drat, curfew. I'd completely forgotten. I look at the clock next to Lilly's bed, but it seems to be some oddity without written numerals. Which I suppose makes sense, given Lilly's condition. Not wanting to risk a haughty security patrol giving me a scolding, I get up and decide to go to my dorm as she says. HISAO: "Well then. I guess I'll see you and Hanako tomorrow, assuming the both of you manage to get up in the morning." LILLY: "Thank you for your concern, Hisao. Until then." With that, I make my way out of her door and into the hallway. I hope her idea will be a good one. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time  (Silence)  The hammering of a fist against the door feels like a nail being pounded into my head. Once, twice, three times, I let out a long, annoyed breath and bear it while pressing my eyelids shut, fervently hoping for whoever it is to just go away. I feel pretty drat awful. My face feels like it's cast out of lead, my arms feel heavy, and I feel very queasy. It's been like this since I woke up half an hour ago, and I can't summon the energy to pick myself up out of bed. So... this is what they call a hangover. I wonder if perhaps this is the best treatment for teenagers who desperately want to try drinking as a way to feel like an adult. Considering how unpleasant this is, it's not something I want to repeat. A series of thumps rings out again, reverberating around the small room. I wish they'd just give up already; I have no intention of getting out of bed for them. Seconds pass, turning to minutes. Since no more knocks are coming from the door, whoever it was must have left. Thank goodness. Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles Looking to my clock, the time when I really should think about getting dressed and ready for class is approaching. I don't think I can manage it, though. I hate cutting class, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get much done at this rate. I can tell I look like a mess without needing to look in the mirror to confirm it, too.  The morning rush is giving me enough time to stand outside the classroom for a little while without looking too suspicious. I hope that Mutou doesn't ask any awkward questions about my not attending school yesterday. I was sick, that much is true, it's just the reasons for it that I have to hide. Confident I can get by with a tactical omission of certain truths, I stride into the classroom doing my best to appear normal. The instant I open the door and take a single step in, I can feel a dozen eyes looking at me. There is no way I'm imagining this; they're not even making any attempt to hide it.   Her sprite starts out smiling at us before looking down. My eyes take a quick sweep around the classroom, and I spot Hanako. We make eye contact momentarily, before she looks down and stares very hard at her desk. Did she spill the beans? Mutou may be okay as far as teachers go, but underage drinking on campus is not exactly something that would be taken lightly. I look to him with some trepidation.   MUTOU: "Feeling better today?" HISAO: "Yeah. Thank you." He motions for me to take my seat, my legs feeling like sticks as they carry me there. This is going to be a long day. As soon as the lunchbell rings, I'm on my way to Hanako's desk to ask her what's going on. HISAO: "Hanako... did you tell...?" She looks up at me and shakes her head. That's a big relief.  HANAKO: "It's just..." HISAO: "Just...?"  MISHA: "Well hello there, Hicchan. It's nice to see you again today~!" Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies  I grimace and turn towards the unmistakable voice coming from behind me. That was way too upbeat a tone of voice to feel comfortable, even from Misha. Misha's happy smile is nothing out of the usual. Shizune's, though, is a very bad sign. The one she wears has become notched into my brain as her “I have got you seven ways from Sunday” smile. HISAO: "Hi Shizune, Misha. You uh... you look happy to see me."  SHIZUNE: "...?" MISHA: "Not feeling well yesterday, Hicchan~?" HISAO: "No, no I wasn't. But I'm feeling better now, at least." SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "That's good to know, Hicchan." Why do I get the feeling that Shizune is leading me into a trap? HISAO: "You sound like you're not being completely serious." SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "Oh no, Hicchan, we're genuinely pleased that you're all better now~." SHIZUNE: "..." Shizune is positively overflowing with happiness. There's only one reason why she would be like this. Oh no. MISHA: "In fact, we were quite worried about you. After all... You, Hanako and Lilly were all absent from class on the same day." Yep, she's got us. So thoroughly that all I can do is sigh in defeat. HISAO: "I guess you have your own theories about this. Could you just kinda... not tell anyone?" MISHA: "It's a bit late for that, Hicchan~." I suppose she's right, considering the looks I got as I entered class. Still, things only seem to be at the level of vague suspicion rather than outright accusations, so we'll probably be fine. Hanako's face sinks a little further. Such attention is troublesome enough for me, let alone for her. Going by Shizune and Misha's reactions, I think they notice this as well. SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "The only reason why we're giving you such a hard time is that you ignored us yesterday morning~!" Yesterday morning? It takes a while to recollect what happened then, given the haze induced by the generally awful state I was in at the time. HISAO: "Oh, right, the knocking. That was you two?" SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "It was, and you left us there for ages after we'd taken all the effort of coming to your dormitory early in the morning." HISAO: "Sorry, I was having a... problem with nausea? A problem with nausea." They're not buying it. I can't blame them. Shizune's head drops in resignation before she reaches into her pocket. Something white and yellow can be seen sticking out a little, and as she pulls it out, it turns out to be an envelope with very bright decorations on it. Since she points it towards me, I duly take it. MISHA: "This is what we were trying so hard to give you, Hicchan! You don't check your..." (Silence) I tune out the sound of Misha's voice as my eyes register what's written on the envelope.  HISAO: "Iwanako..." I stare at the envelope for a moment, before suddenly remembering that there are people around me. There's a very strange, somewhat invasive feeling about their expressions. I kind of want to be alone right now. HANAKO: "Iwanako...?" HISAO: "It's nothing. Thank you for bringing me this, you two." MISHA: "I should think so, after what we went through to get it to you~." I step back and say my goodbyes. Misha theatrically pouts even as I go out the door, but Shizune and Hanako remain very visibly curious about my reaction. I hope they won't interrogate me on this later. Katawa Shoujo OST - Lullaby of Open Eyes  The smell of the gardens is, as always, a very pleasant sensation. Some of the most visible signs of how well-funded this school is, aside from its sheer size, are the expanse and condition of the grounds. A good number of students can be seen eating lunch, chatting, and playing on the bright green lawns. Even some of the staff is enjoying the summer here, keeping watch over the students and idly walking along the long concrete paths. I'd never seen a sight like this in my home city. On excursions, maybe, but certainly never in the school or anywhere near where I lived. Even the bench I sit on to read is warmer thanks to the summertime sun, reminding me of why I haven't worn the school blazer even once yet.  Considering this, the sunflowers and splashes of vibrant yellow coloring adorning the paper are quite appropriate for the time. If only the words written on it were as well. Here I was, thinking I'd managed to get over her, when this troublesome thing shows up. Her handwriting looks vaguely familiar at best, and only now that I see it again I remember that she used to write in pink pen a lot. She was always very girly, for lack of a better term. But she was also quite fragile. I never knew if I liked this aspect of her or not, though with the arrival of this letter, that question seems to have become largely moot. The letter begins with not much more than an update on the state of things going on in her life. My old class had a good start to the school year, many are anxious about the exams that will be coming up in the future, etcetera. But it ends on a very personal, if brief, note. It feels a bit like she wrote most of the letter just to try and soften the blow from the ending. Iwanako’s letter posted:I wanted to somehow express my feelings, but the right words didn't come to me. I couldn't say anything to comfort you. I am really sorry for not being able to support you when it mattered the most, even though I like you so much. At least now, finally, I can be more honest. And so, that's that. Our relationship is over. Nice, neat, and tidy, with no ambiguity. I hadn't held on to any illusions that it could ever begin anew. The last time she visited me, neither of us said a thing, except for the one word she said as she left for the last time. “Goodbye.” Be that as it may... this feels more final. The capstone on an experiment that both of us tried, and failed at. A loud shout draws my eyes away from the letter. It's just some students horsing around, with one of the teachers standing nearby coming over to talk to them.  YUUKO: "Are you okay?"  A tentative voice comes from my side. For a moment I assume it to be Hanako, but it's actually Yuuko. HISAO: "Oh, hello Yuuko. I thought you'd be in the library." She gives a cheerful smile, one quite fitting the atmosphere, and flourishes the empty wrapper of a roll in her hand. She must have someone else covering for her while she grabbed something to eat. It reminds me that I haven't had anything to eat yet. I don't feel hungry though, and skipping one lunch won't hurt. YUUKO: "Mind if I sit here?" HISAO: "Sure, go ahead." I quickly slide the letter back into its envelope, slipping it inside my bag propped against the side of the bench as Yuuko takes a seat. She drops the wrapper into a bin beside us. Without much else to do, I lean back and take what enjoyment I can from the sun, silently reflecting on the letter. The lush lawns, the clear blue skies... everything looks so different from the way it did back then. Even the school's surroundings, from the hill it's on to the woods around it, are completely opposite to the urban scenery I remember. Maybe this is what it's like to feel homesick. Then again, it's not an outright bad sensation; the feel of the area around Yamaku, while very different, is also nice. I think I could get used to it. YUUKO: "Hey, Hisao?" HISAO: "Yeah?" YUUKO: "You didn't answer my question from before. I wasn't going to say anything, but you still look troubled. If you don't want to say anything though, that's okay, I don't mind at all. Um, s-sorry for asking something strange like that..." HISAO: "I don't mind. It's just... I got a letter from someone I knew before I came to Yamaku. It made me think about some things. I thought I'd managed to get over most of the problems that my accident caused, but now I'm not really so sure. I kinda wish I'd never seen it." YUUKO: "I don't think that's good, Hisao. When my boyfriend left me, he did so very suddenly, and never let me know why. At first I was very depressed about it, but I decided to forgive him." HISAO: "You forgave him? Couldn't he at least have talked properly with you about it?" YUUKO: "He was always one of those people that found it difficult to come close to others. In the end, I decided that I fell in love with him for a reason. He was a good person, and I think that if I had been in his position, I would probably have found it just as hard to try and talk to him." HISAO: "I don't... really see the connection to the letter I got." YUUKO: "I mean that... um, how should I put this...”  YUUKO: "It must have been very hard for that person to send that letter, and if they did, I think they must have thought very hard about exactly what to say." Iwanako managed to write this letter and bring a final close to our relationship; something that I'd never managed to do. Whereas here I am, trying to protect and help Hanako as best I can, especially with Lilly leaving for a while, and I'm not even able to deal with my own problems. YUUKO: "Does that make sense?" She's taken my nonresponse and furrowed brow as doubt. She really reads faces too much, just like a certain other person. HISAO: "Yeah, that makes sense. The letter was just kind of a shock, really. I think I'd tried to fool myself into thinking that my life reset when I came into Yamaku, but now I'm suddenly aware that it didn't. I'm at a bit of a loss about how to deal with these feelings. YUUKO: "I think that's something I can't really help you with. Sorry." HISAO: "It's fine. I think being able to talk with you helped me get things sorted out a bit better in my head, so thank you anyway." She nods and smiles sweetly. Yuuko is a nice girl, so it's a shame she's so highly strung so often. The school bell ringing out startles us both. YUUKO: "Ah, I was supposed to be back before the bell!" HISAO: "Oops..." She jumps off the bench and almost races off without a second word, but turns on her heel as she remembers she was talking to me just now. YUUKO: "I'll see you later, Hisao. Cheer up, okay?" HISAO: "I'll try to. Thanks, Yuuko." (Silence) With a quick bow, Yuuko takes her leave and begins her rush to the library. Her flight catches the curious eyes of a few passing students, who are unenthusiastically trudging back to their classes after their fun. Reluctantly standing from the bench, I dust myself off and join them. Even while I walk through the gardens back to the main building, the thought of the letter in my bag doesn't stray far from my mind.
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Sep 3, 2021 21:42
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Falconier111 posted:
Substance abuse problems are apparently more common in people who suffer from social anxiety disorder - which makes sense if you think about it. Fortunately it's not something I've had a problem with myself. (Not saying I think that's what's going on with Hanako - it just came to mind.)
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Sep 4, 2021 02:37
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As of five minutes ago, I've fully updated the rest of the LP to use the hopefully more accessible format. If anyone's willing to have a look at it and see if it works, I'd appreciate it.Antistar01 posted:Substance abuse problems are apparently more common in people who suffer from social anxiety disorder - which makes sense if you think about it. Fortunately it's not something I've had a problem with myself. Probably for the same reason depression is also common, honestly.
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Sep 4, 2021 16:18
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Ah, KS. Like a lot of others in this thread, this was my first VN, and while that certainly colors your perception I still think it's very good at what it's trying to do. I feel that the key to its success is that it's fundamentally a very melodramatic story but tones down the usual anime aesthetic just enough that when the usual dramatic beats do come up, they hit all the harder because you've let your guard down. It also probably helps that Hisao's initial feeling of his life being over before it began is an extremely common sentiment amongst the game's presumed audience. Anyway, this is a very impressive effort thread for a game that'll soon be a decade old, good work on everyone's part. Antistar01 posted:Substance abuse problems are apparently more common in people who suffer from social anxiety disorder - which makes sense if you think about it. Fortunately it's not something I've had a problem with myself. Yeah, that could be a problem if she's trying to find some courage/enjoy the moment more that way, though here inexperience with the stuff is obviously another issue.
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Sep 4, 2021 21:32
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This is where you can really tell this isn't a Japanese game, because it actually (gasp) depicts underage drinking. It's funny, Japan isn't really as fanatical about actually preventing it as the US - they're lax about carding and have fairly few limitations on where alcohol can be sold - but fiction that's not supposed to be grittily realistic always seems to feel the need to make a big deal about how characters under twenty would never, ever drink and characters over twenty would never, ever give alcohol to minors if the subject comes up.Antistar01 posted:Substance abuse problems are apparently more common in people who suffer from social anxiety disorder - which makes sense if you think about it. Fortunately it's not something I've had a problem with myself. It can also just be a bad coping mechanism that doesn't rise to the level of a substance abuse problem - some people are fine most of the time but will drink too much specifically and only at parties(/social events where alcohol is available). Of course, sometimes this doesn't so much avoid the social anxiety as postpone it until the next day when you sober up and remember (or hear about) the stupid poo poo you did while sloppily drunk. Not that I would know.
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Sep 4, 2021 22:40
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Ghost Car posted:It can also just be a bad coping mechanism that doesn't rise to the level of a substance abuse problem - some people are fine most of the time but will drink too much specifically and only at parties(/social events where alcohol is available). Of course, sometimes this doesn't so much avoid the social anxiety as postpone it until the next day when you sober up and remember (or hear about) the stupid poo poo you did while sloppily drunk. Not that I would know. It's worth noting that Hanako's had, like, one drinking experience as far as we know. She may just not have any idea what she's doing this time and later decide not to indulge like this again. I'm more worried about how Lilly seems to know her way around wines and how to handle her alcohol as a high schooler.
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Sep 5, 2021 02:39
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Ghost Car posted:This is where you can really tell this isn't a Japanese game, because it actually (gasp) depicts underage drinking. We have a Touhou thread, you know.
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Sep 5, 2021 03:40
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Around this point was where I felt for them because I, too, had my first drink as a teen. Pretty unpleasant experience and it was, somehow, by complete accident. In any case, the upcoming excursion is among my favorite scenes in the game and I'm looking forward to reading it again.
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Sep 5, 2021 07:49
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Falconier111 posted:It's worth noting that Hanako's had, like, one drinking experience as far as we know. She may just not have any idea what she's doing this time and later decide not to indulge like this again. As for the handling her alcohol, uh... Now I may be from an alcoholic country, but it's decently common for high schoolers (~16+) to get absolutely plastered on weekends and in the summer. Not everyone, not all the time, but enough that a fair amount of people know their tolerances and pacing. It's also not like they downed a bottle worth of slammers each, they had two bottles of wine between the four of them and I think Akira is supposed to drink like half of that.
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Sep 6, 2021 06:05
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A socially anxious person acting drunker than they really are as an excuse to let loose isn't all that unrealistic tho.
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Sep 6, 2021 13:13
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YaketySass posted:A socially anxious person acting drunker than they really are as an excuse to let loose isn't all that unrealistic tho. Yea that's common enough among a wide variety of nervous teens of all genders, alcohol is meant as a social loosener for a reason. That was like the safest possible introduction to alcohol possible, and it looks like it went well for Hakato honestly. She loosened up a little from her own shell, but she didn't do anything that wasn't her. And with no pressure on her to drink - she was the one who had 3? glasses. Akira probably should have forced some water on them as hangover management though. Honestly, my concern is more with Hisao drinking than anyone else. He's on so many different types of medication one of them is gonna play up with alcohol, and that's not a gamble you want to take. I dont know if Hakato is on any either, her being not would explain why Akira thought it would be reasonable (also they are a half-Scottish family, so smuggling some wine in for a teens birthday at a boarding school and being there to supervise is just good Big Sistering). Lily may already be used to having a glass of wine with a meal or in the evenings at home, aswell. Nothingtoseehere fucked around with this message at 14:46 on Sep 6, 2021 |
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Sep 6, 2021 14:39
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Update 51: Stripes and Solids Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time  (Silence, City Noises)  The feeling of walking through the streets is one of very deep nostalgia. While Yamaku may be like the reverse of where I've lived in the past, the city at night is amazingly familiar. My eyes are moving constantly from the bright electronic screens glowing high in the night sky, to the street lamps piercing the darkness with their light, to the businessmen enjoying themselves after work and the busily talking couples on dates. Even if I didn't want to, I can't help soaking in every aspect of the city. I savor its familiarity like a sweet candy sitting on my tongue. Lilly is walking to my left with her cane swaying to and fro, holding onto her sister's arm for guidance while talking to her. Compared to traveling by taxi or bus, being driven by Akira in her rather nice car was a much more enjoyable experience. Maybe not for the person on my right, though. While Lilly was used to her sister's driving style, and I quite liked a bit of excitement, Hanako was holding very tightly to the door for most of the trip.  HANAKO: "E-everything looks so p-pretty at night..." Hanako quickly looks down yet again as she accidentally catches someone's gaze. HISAO: "Yeah, it does." My answer isn't very thoughtful, since I'm distracted by so many thoughts that I find it hard to keep up on smalltalk. One of those distractions, aside from the city sights, is how Hanako looks. This is the first time I've seen her in something other than her school uniform or her pajamas. It gave me pause when I first saw her outfit, when we met up at the school gate. Considering how much her head is lowered when people walk near us, I imagine that the hat she wears is more than a fashion statement. While initially I was wary of Lilly's plan to take us out into the city, when night fell it became obvious she had thought about this. Not many people have paid Hanako much heed, since the darkness hides her scarring well. HISAO: "So... we're in the city. Any ideas on what to do?" Akira beams a smile. Something tells me that she's the one who is making this particular decision, even if her sister may have proposed the outing in the first place. AKIRA: "You'll see. Just follow us." I nod, and try my best to stifle a grimace. After what happened during Hanako's birthday party, I don't trust Akira's judgment all that much. Katawa Shoujo OST - Red Velvet (muffled) We keep walking, and I notice that we're passing more and more cafés, restaurants, and other eateries. Every once in a while a drunken man in a suit comes out of a bar, usually being supported by another, but for the most part the customers around this part of the city look young and fashionable. Different kinds of music come and go as we pass by each business. The discord created by the overlaps should be grating, but it reminds me so strongly of the times I spent in the city with my old friends that I don't mind. Hanako and I have started to drift a little apart from Lilly and Akira. That comes to a stop when I hear a soft thud from beside me.  HANAKO: "S-s-sorry...!" By the time she rights herself from her apologetic bow, the middle-aged businessman she bumped into is walking away after mumbling a half-hearted apology. Hanako looks a little put off by the experience, and as she quickly skips ahead to match my pace, I notice her head hanging low once more. She probably bumped into him because she was looking downwards and not where she was going. I step to the side a little and put one hand on her far shoulder, drawing her closer. HANAKO: "Hisao?" HISAO: "It's okay. You can walk closer to me if you want." Hanako hesitates, but eventually nods in assent. Katawa Shoujo OST - Red Velvet (Crowd Noises)  After a couple of times when I'd thought we had arrived at Akira's destination, we reach our target. By now we're below the elevated walkways, and past the most garish and brightly-lit places. I'm a bit surprised. The average age of those around us is distinctly older, and the smell of cigarette smoke is pretty thick. The area is far from seedy though, and it's a little amusing to see Lilly's reaction to the smell of the smoke. While it's masked by the low talking of those around us, jazz music can be heard emanating from inside. Looking up at the dimly-lit sign, it becomes obvious why. HISAO: "A jazz club. I have to admit, this isn't what I expected." Lilly gives an amused snort and a smile. LILLY: "Somehow I feel like I should have known it, Akira." As we talk outside, I notice more and more odd sideways glances directed our way. People awkwardly catch themselves staring and look away, but that just makes it more obvious. I had noticed this occasionally when we were walking, but it's more pronounced now. I've never experienced anything like that in my life. An average-looking Japanese teenage guy, just a little taller than normal, isn't the type to draw attention without making an effort. AKIRA: "Hey, c'mon. Just because you're teenagers, doesn't mean you can't have a taste. Right?" HISAO: "Well... I don't really mind the music, if that's what you mean." HANAKO: "I-I... don't mind it... either..." She's only just managing to force the words out. It contrasts heavily to when we're alone in Yamaku, and it disappoints me a little that she's so highly strung for what's supposed to be a good time out on the town. It's hard to read Hanako's face as she keeps looking downwards. It's little wonder if she doesn't often come out into the city because of this, and it makes me a little thankful that my own scarring is easily hidden. Lilly has a similar way of attracting people's gazes, but the reason for it is clearly different. She hardly looks like a native, and the same can be said for her sister. That much is far more noticeable than her blindness, from a distance. She may not be able to see this for herself, but I have little doubt she can hear the odd whispered phrase from people who think they're out of earshot. Be that as it may, she doesn't seem to show any sign of either annoyance or pleasure at the attention. Akira's still as confident as ever, though. Flashing a smile, she strides in with Lilly by her side and the two of us following behind. I had expected my eyes to need adjusting to the light inside, but it's not much brighter than outside. The music we'd heard is clearer now, mixed in with the sound of glasses moving on the tables and counter, and the husky chatter of the patrons. Looking to my right reveals the music's source, a jazz group playing beyond some tables. The patrons seem to be mostly men, and though there's a handful of women, nobody looks under thirty. Aside from us, of course. It feels a little like we've stepped into the 1920s, and the atmosphere is quite agreeable. I'm not completely comfortable simply because of my age, but were I older, I would probably feel quite at home. Hanako seems a bit more relaxed now, probably due to nobody looking at her. Everybody's talking between themselves, drinking, or watching the band. For the record, her sprite has been smiling since she entered the bar. Akira casually takes a seat at the counter without even glancing around. She's probably come here before.  Lilly retracts her cane, feeling out the bar stool and the edge of the counter before taking a seat beside her sister. The bartender takes a brief break from polishing a glass to watch her, before putting it down and coming over. BARTENDER: "Good evening, ladies. What'll it be?" AKIRA: "Just a scotch, thanks. Lilly?" LILLY: "May I have a glass of cham—" A black-suited elbow hits her side sharply. LILLY: "Orange juice, please." No problem, coming right up. The bartender starts to pour their drinks. A couple of seconds pass before Akira suddenly remembers that Hanako and I are indeed here, and turns around to us. AKIRA: "You two want anything, or are you just gonna stand there?" Hanako seems to be getting a bit restless. No matter where we're going to seat ourselves, there's going to be people right next to her, and I don't think she looks convincingly older than twenty, unlike Lilly. Looking around, there's a games section to our right. A couple of billiards tables can be seen in the corner, and nobody's using them either. I glance to Hanako, about to ask her if she'd like to play, but she's already looking longingly in the same direction. Maybe it says something that we can get by with so few words nowadays. HISAO: "We'll go play pool over there." Akira leans back to see past me, before shrugging and sitting back up. LILLY: "It seems you'll have to put up with only me for company. How unfortunate." AKIRA: "Have fun, you two." We turn and set off for the abandoned corner, with Hanako taking the lead. The prospect of a nice, quiet game away from everyone makes her walk noticeably faster. Her eyes stay firmly fixed on her prize. The table's full-size and well-lit despite the surrounding darkness, thanks to the bright overhead lights. A huge painting of... something... covers the wall. There aren't many people milling about this corner of the club, and I can see Hanako becoming a little less tense as a result.  HANAKO: "You... kn-know how to play?" HISAO: "I'm no expert, but yeah, I do." HANAKO: "Then um... eight-ball?" HISAO: "Sure." Hanako gets the chalk and two cues from a set of hooks against one of the walls, while I fetch the balls from the table's pockets and grab the rack from a shelf underneath. She patiently waits as I get the table set up. After slotting the final ball into the rack and doing some last adjustments, I end up having to fight my perfectionist urges in getting the bottom row of balls exactly perpendicular with the edges. With the balls arranged and ready for play, I step back and take my cue from her outstretched arm. I carry out a quick inspection of the tip before I'm satisfied that it's in good condition. HISAO: "So you've played before?" HANAKO: "Once... or twice. I j-just kind of... know the rules." The air between us feels a little awkward. She's still pretty nervous; understandably, given that we're in public. Eventually the silence becomes too much even for Hanako, and she begins to quietly stammer. HANAKO: "Wh-who'll... b-break?" I think for a moment before reaching into my pocket and drawing a coin. HISAO: "I'll take heads, you're tails." After a nod of agreement from Hanako, I flick the coin up in the air, catch it, and flip it over onto the back of my left hand. HISAO: "Looks like it's you that gets to break."  Hanako nods again, before taking up her position at the end of the table. She's not usually this quiet around me, but I'm not wholly sure if it's because of the tidbit of information about her past that slipped out moments ago. The cue comes back in a practiced gesture before smacking dead into the center of the cue ball with a thud. The white ball skates across the smooth green expanse before smashing into the carefully-arranged balls at the other end. Balls skitter across the table at high speed. The break was good, with the balls being nicely distributed around the table. My eyes are already flicking from one to another to pick out the easiest candidates to pocket. Hanako retreats from the side and I take my shot. HANAKO: "Well done." It’s only after Hanako says this that I realize the ball I was shooting at was sunk. I look at her and notice a small smile on her face. It's nice how playing games seems to loosen her up a little. HISAO: "Guess I'm stripes, then." I take a step back and let her take the next shot, but she doesn't advance to the table. Rather, she looks down a little and rubs her arm. By now I can identify this as one of her gestures that mean she wants to say something, but isn't sure enough of herself to do it. HISAO: "What's up?" HANAKO: "It's just... you had a... n-nice smile. Do you like... playing this?" I sigh and lean back against the table. HISAO: "I like playing, yeah. I think I was smiling because it's really nostalgic, though." Hanako tilts her head quizzically. HISAO: "Me and my friends used to play pool in the game centers near where we lived pretty often, and at night too." HANAKO: "W-wouldn't your parents..." HISAO: "My parents both worked, so they didn't mind me not being in the house. I stayed on top of schoolwork pretty easily as well, so there was plenty of time to do other stuff at night." Our conversation dies down, with Hanako's timidity getting the better of her. In response, I get off the table and let her take her turn shooting.  Hanako's expression is the same as when we play chess; a relaxed but focused concentration. Athletes sometimes talk about getting into a zone where nothing unnecessary enters their mind, and I wonder if that's something she can do. Her posture is good. Better than mine, to be sure. It's very close to a textbook method of playing, whereas I tend to contort myself into whatever position I feel is most natural for the shot I'm taking.  She lines up the cue. The cue comes back, and she does a couple of practice movements to make sure she's lined up correctly. Hanako takes games so seriously. It's the only real hobby I know she has, outside of reading. It feels good to be able to share this kind of experience with her. She takes the shot after careful consideration, and the cue ball zooms off towards a ball sitting at a slightly awkward angle near a corner. Hanako's careful preparation pays off as the cue ball hits and sends the ball rolling towards the corner pocket. For a moment it looks like it'll stop just on the lip of the hole, but it eventually tilts just enough to drop in. HISAO: "Man, that was a hard shot. If you can pull that off, I don't think I have much hope." HANAKO: "I'm not... th-that good..." HISAO: "It's not just the shot though; even when lining it up you looked really serious. You're like this with chess, too." The praise makes her a little flustered. She sets the cue against the table and stands, turning to me.  HANAKO: "I just... like those kinds of things...” Her fingers are twisting and turning tightly. HANAKO: "When I was in the orphanage... I just... k-kept doing the things I liked... before. If I p-played games with the others, th-that was enough for the helpers there, so..." I'd never thought about it that way. Staff at an orphanage would naturally want to have everyone socialize at least a little. HISAO: "If it's okay for me to ask... what was it like for you at the orphanage?" HANAKO: "W-why do you want to know?" I've touched a nerve, but the fact that she responded at all shows there's at least a chance she'll answer my question. Before, she likely would just have shrunk away from it without a word. HANAKO: "I'll... tell you, but..." HISAO: "But...?"  HANAKO: "Could you... t-tell me who I-Iwa... n-nako... is?" HISAO: "Iwanako...? Oh, the letter." I wonder how long she's been waiting for the right opportunity to ask me this. I'm surprised, but don't hesitate. Sharing information is naturally a matter of give and take. HISAO: "She's... someone I used to like." Her nervousness subsided, at least for the time it took to ask. Her curiosity is getting the better of her, and I feel a bit uncomfortable to be questioned on this, of all matters. There's no way I could spill out all my feelings about Iwanako here. I don't even know myself what my feelings regarding her are, even after talking to Yuuko earlier, and I want to avoid the subject around Hanako. Hanako doesn't look overly satisfied with the awkward ending to the discussion, but thinks better of continuing it. She was only just managing to ask me in the first place, without knowing that I wouldn't want to talk about it. I move to finally take my own shot. The lack of talking between us is filled by the chatter of other patrons and the band at the other end of the club. Spying a shot that doesn't look too difficult, I try and shoot for it. The cue ball taps the ball, and the trajectory is about right, but I put in too much power. It grazes the corner of the hole and moves off to the side, just skirting the pocket. I grit my teeth a little. I was pretty good at this game, and it's frustrating to have deteriorated so much. I step back and let Hanako take her turn, glancing towards the counter where Lilly and Akira are sitting. They're talking busily between themselves, and seem to be having a good time. I turn back to Hanako as she takes her shot. With the same face as before, she lines herself up and sharply pushes the cue. Just as before, she sinks the ball she was aiming for. It drops into the side pocket more cleanly than her last, though. It looks as if she's getting a bit more into the groove of the game. HISAO: "Nicely done." She hesitates for a moment, and begins to address me without turning her head. HANAKO: "The orphanage... was nice. It felt a bit like Yamaku does... and the staff was r-really kind.” HANAKO: "But as th-the years went on, I realized something. I was d-different." It feels strange to hear her speak so candidly about herself. She's audibly forcing the words out. It reminds me of when she insisted she tell me about the fire. Hanako must feel that she has to tell me of such things, if I'm willing to tell her about my own past. Her grip on the cue tightens as she continues to speak. HANAKO: "M-most of the children there were up for adoption, just like I was. But unlike me... they gradually left, o-one by one. By the time I went to Yamaku, I was... among the oldest children there. For a while, I h-helped with some of the y-younger children, b-but eventually..." I lay a hand on her shoulder. She's forcing herself by now. HISAO: "It's okay." She looks mildly surprised for a moment, but then nods before setting down her cue and turning towards me. HANAKO: "Do you... really think so?" HISAO: "Yeah, I think so. Even while Lilly's away, I'll be around to protect you, right?"  Hanako looks at me for a long time, and I'm taken a bit off guard. Her expression hasn't changed from before, still looking somewhat maudlin, and silences between us aren't unusual. I think it's the fact that she's holding such prolonged eye contact that makes this feel a bit odd. It feels as if she'd judging me. It's a very strange, vaguely uncomfortable feeling. HISAO: "Hanako...?" HANAKO: "I-I understand. Thank you." She smiles and looks away a little, but it feels stilted. Hanako isn't very good at faking emotions, and this is no exception. I move to the table and take my turn to try and distract myself, but it doesn't seem to work. Does she think I'm not up to the task of helping her? Is she disappointed in me? I'm probably overthinking this. While her silences are just an accepted fact of life by now, sometimes I do wish she'd speak more. With a thud, I send the white sphere careening down the table into my target. HANAKO: "Ah..." Hanako sees what's happening just as I do. The ball hits hard, with the striped ball I'd intended to sink veering off towards the eight ball. Sure enough, as both Hanako and I look on and bite our lips, they connect and the black ball rolls leisurely into a corner pocket. All I can do is sigh. It looks like Hanako is smiling again though, so maybe it wasn't for naught. HISAO: "That was an awful shot, you win. It seems I'm getting pretty rusty after all this time." Hanako bends down and begins to shoot the remaining balls into the closest pockets. I almost ask if we could play another game, but a quick check of my watch confirms that the night is getting pretty late. Lilly and Akira appear to be still drinking at the counter. Seems like we'll have to drag them away. HANAKO: "Um, Hisao..." I turn back to Hanako, who's still looking over the pool table shooting balls. Her voice sounds different from before.  HANAKO: "I'm... here for you as well..." HISAO: "Ah..." I suddenly find myself blushing. It's only natural that she'd respond this way, given what I said earlier, but it's still a shock to actually hear it. Just what is my relationship with this girl? I want to protect her, to make her happy... I'm not really sure that it's something like love, but I don't think these are the same kinds of feelings I have for Lilly, either. I feel sorry for her, having gone through so much in her life. Her parents died in a housefire, and she lived in an orphanage for much of her childhood... I can't even imagine that kind of life. But I feel like there's so little I can do for her, especially now that Lilly is going to be leaving the country. (Silence, City Noises)  Hanako and I finish tidying up the table and cues, and pick up Lilly and Akira on our way out of the club. It feels like something changed between Hanako and me. I can't quite place what it is, but Hanako is acting differently now. I feel like we're further apart, if anything. AKIRA: "So, you enjoy yourselves?" Hanako and I both nod and agree. The game was good, and we both did learn more about each other, so it's a honest answer. Lilly appears to be a little distracted. HISAO: "Worried about the trip, Lilly?" She pauses before sighing and smiling weakly. LILLY: "A little. It means quite a bit." The comment earns her a clap on the shoulder from her sister. Hanako smiles back, too. HANAKO: "You'll be okay, Lilly. I hope you can enjoy your time over there." LILLY: "Thank you, Hanako. I'll try to. It will be nice to be back with my family, after all, no matter for how brief a time it may be." With that, the four of us begin the walk to the carpark where Akira's car is. We continue to talk between ourselves, but it's mostly just smalltalk.
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Sep 6, 2021 18:29
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In order to give me enough time to write the route conclusion, I just completed Hanako’s route (which will wrap up in maybe two weeks). That brings up a question, though: where do we go next? You have two options here, mine and yours. I’d like to do Shizune, Rin, and Lilly in that order: having gone over the game’s thematic and mechanical structure, I think that’s the best way to set things up so we get a nice emotional rhythm going, and it would probably be the easiest for me to sustain. If you guys want, though, we can instead hold a vote on which route to do next. If you do the second, after we get through the next route I’ll give you a similar choice between my preferred order and free choice again and we’ll repeat the process. Vote for either preferred order or choose your own. If choose your own wins, I’ll hold a runoff vote to actually decide who we go with. Please bold your choices so I can pick them out at a glance.  Vote ends in roughly 2 days! Nothingtoseehere posted:Honestly, my concern is more with Hisao drinking than anyone else. He's on so many different types of medication one of them is gonna play up with alcohol, and that's not a gamble you want to take. I want to assume Hisao’s doctors already talked him through interactions he should watch out for, but I have too much experience with how doctors actually treat that information to believe that.
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Sep 6, 2021 18:32
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I vote for preferred order because frankly I was hoping you'd end on Lily's route.
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Sep 6, 2021 18:38
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I vote for preferred order as well.
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Sep 6, 2021 18:59
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I actually think you should do Rin's route last because it's far and away the most emotionally harrowing route, like, I'm glad I did it last, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had the emotional capacity to finish the others.
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Sep 6, 2021 19:09
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I'm voting completely innocently here, so preferred order is probably the best.
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Sep 6, 2021 20:15
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Falconier111 posted:I want to assume Hisao’s doctors already talked him through interactions he should watch out for, but I have too much experience with how doctors actually treat that information to believe that. I would doubt that anyone has told Hisao about interactions with alcohol, if only because he is underage - telling him not to drink while he's taking the medication could be seen as telling him that it would be okay to drink without the medication. Maybe it's another result of my more closeted upbringing, but adults seem to keep information like that from children even if it seems like it might be relevant in some situations, because it's expected that children are going to avoid those situations. I've also got more direct experience with doctors not disclosing important information about drug interactions. Has anyone been prescribed antidepressants and actually been told that most cough medicines cause severe, potentially life-threatening symptoms? I found that out the hard way, and didn't even find it listed in the literature that came with the medication. I had to search online to find anything about it. To this day, I don't know whether the cause of my inability to tolerate any antidepressant I've ever tried is a result of that interaction permanently changing my chemistry, or whether it just made the problem worse in that one instance. And I'm going to say that if you have a preferred order, there's likely a good reason for that, and the LP will go more smoothly if you follow it.
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Sep 6, 2021 21:30
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EclecticTastes posted:I actually think you should do Rin's route last because it's far and away the most emotionally harrowing route, like, I'm glad I did it last, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had the emotional capacity to finish the others. While this is on point I think preferred order works too.
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Sep 6, 2021 22:00
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From what I remember from the routes, the preferred order looks good. Weird -> sad -> classic love story
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Sep 6, 2021 22:04
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I vote for preferred order too.
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Sep 6, 2021 22:20
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Voting to follow the LPer's heart Hanako for pro esports. It occurred to me that it would have been pretty easy for the writer to have Hanako play a lot of video games, but it's just a lot more visually interesting to have her play analogue games. Good choice, though once again the game tips its hand as to where the writers are from in the choice of games.
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Sep 6, 2021 22:31
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Preferred order. Also maybe pool where the writer were is different from where I am, but when you sink a ball, don't you get an extra shot?
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Sep 6, 2021 22:37
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I want to see Shizune's route next, because I have no clue how it'll work out, so yea preferred order. Also, even if they had told Hisao about drug interactions, it could easily have slipped out of his mind in the bombard of information and numb state he was in at the time. Just because you tell patients not to do something doesn't mean they won't, we saw that with Eri. And there's plenty of cases of people getting proscribed drugs and told not to drink with them and ignoring that anyways.
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Sep 6, 2021 22:43
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I vote preferred route. Shizune's route is the next main story trunk, and I want to see Lily's route after seeing all the other perspectives on her. Besides, I always did like saving the best for last. About Hisao and meds: I think, based on the earlier scene where he's putting them out, that he tries not to think about them. Could be just that the writers didn't go there or didn't want to go into (medically inaccurate) detail, but not wanting to consider the handfuls of pills one must down to maintain the new semblance of health is something I relate to all too well. There needs to be a German word for the sensation you feel when looking at the 6 new medicine bottles on your dresser and thinking "is this really my loving life now?" To be sick/disabled is to be perpetually at odds with one's body. And forgetting the endless nagging problems of health in order to have a good time with friends? Definitely.
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Sep 7, 2021 01:40
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Cobalt-60 posted:There needs to be a German word for the sensation you feel when looking at the 6 new medicine bottles on your dresser and thinking "is this really my loving life now?" ... you mean, a word other than 'angst'?
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Sep 7, 2021 02:04
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I would like shizune's route next but the preferred order is fine too. Also just want to thank you for typing this up, it must be a lot of work
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Sep 7, 2021 03:06
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I vote preferred order because it's also my preferred order. Well, the main thing I'd like is to end on Lilly's route rather than Rin or Shizune, so swapping the latter two would also be fine by me. Like I said earlier in the thread somewhere, I don't dislike Rin or Shizune's routes exactly, but I remember Shizune's route as having some odd characterisation and feeling kind of flat, while Rin's route... oof. I found Rin's route to be pretty difficult, in more ways than one. Felt like crap after that one. It's also the only route in which I actually hit a "bad end" - and I think it was intentionally written to make it easy to do that... but hey, we'll get there when we get there. I forgot about Hanako's silly hat. Though I guess that's certainly a convincingly weird Japanese outfit. I intentionally buy plain and nondescript clothes as a form of social camouflage though, so what would I know about fashion? 
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Sep 7, 2021 04:17
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Preferred route seems fine really. I did Lilly - Hanako - Shizune - Emi - Rin myself, but that was more "branching out to characters I'd been introduced to more closely in prior route" logic.Antistar01 posted:Substance abuse problems are apparently more common in people who suffer from social anxiety disorder - which makes sense if you think about it. Fortunately it's not something I've had a problem with myself. I rather suspect having constant stress all your life, something that numbs that sensation is probably unusually tempting, yeah. I'm definitely very much against any personal use of stuff, although most of that is I know a lot of (thankfully former) alcoholics and drug abusers so I got enough of a scary view of where it can end up to decide I didn't like the risk/reward ratio there. Never have and doubt I ever will mess with any drug, and while I've had booze before it's maybe 2-3 glasses of wine or beer max, and generally with food to boot. Nidoking posted:I would doubt that anyone has told Hisao about interactions with alcohol, if only because he is underage - telling him not to drink while he's taking the medication could be seen as telling him that it would be okay to drink without the medication. Maybe it's another result of my more closeted upbringing, but adults seem to keep information like that from children even if it seems like it might be relevant in some situations, because it's expected that children are going to avoid those situations. I've also got more direct experience with doctors not disclosing important information about drug interactions. Has anyone been prescribed antidepressants and actually been told that most cough medicines cause severe, potentially life-threatening symptoms? I found that out the hard way, and didn't even find it listed in the literature that came with the medication. I had to search online to find anything about it. To this day, I don't know whether the cause of my inability to tolerate any antidepressant I've ever tried is a result of that interaction permanently changing my chemistry, or whether it just made the problem worse in that one instance. Only interaction I had was taking regular Sudafed while on the stuff and finding out it was effectively stacking two stimulants, which did not do wonders for my heart rate. Fortunately I had family that already had high blood pressure so I just went with their choices in cold meds to better results. Not really sure about acquiring permanent inability to tolerate antidepressants from such an interaction; no cold medicine is supposed to stay in your body that long, and even antidepressants should be cleared after enough time. But it's enough of a pain to get any med to work it's a wonder anybody gets one that helps some days. Not entirely sure how much they understand about the base mechanisms of the things even now; one of the oldest mental meds out there is lithium and its discovery in the late '40s as a treatment for mental issues was pretty hilariously shaky science (including the ol' "I tested it on myself to ensure it was safe in humans!" researcher trick) and I don't think they still know too much about why it works beyond it affecting serotonin release and apparently if I can trust Wikipedia a mood regulation signaling pathway in neurons too. Cobalt-60 posted:Could be just that the writers didn't go there or didn't want to go into (medically inaccurate) detail, but not wanting to consider the handfuls of pills one must down to maintain the new semblance of health is something I relate to all too well. There needs to be a German word for the sensation you feel when looking at the 6 new medicine bottles on your dresser and thinking "is this really my loving life now?" To be sick/disabled is to be perpetually at odds with one's body. And forgetting the endless nagging problems of health in order to have a good time with friends? Definitely. God yes, I'm only in my 40s, but I'm getting a pretty impressive stack of things I take. Mostly not prescription yet thankfully, bunch of general nutritional stuff and some probiotic/gut stuff; boy, I'm starting to understand why as people get older their ability to poop well suddenly becomes a pressing issue worthy of constant public discussion, yeesh. But having seen what my parents and especially my grandfather take/took (my mom did spreadsheets to help him remember/re-order his meds when he visited us), I'm still junior division when it comes to pill popping for health. Drug interactions get to be an untrackable mess by that point; drat near lost my grandfather when he got antibiotics and would up with internal bleeding from Warfarin (antiobiotics = damage to your gut bacteria = less vitamin K = disrupt the metabolic balance Warfarin depends on).
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Sep 7, 2021 05:58
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EclecticTastes posted:I actually think you should do Rin's route last because it's far and away the most emotionally harrowing route, like, I'm glad I did it last, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had the emotional capacity to finish the others. I did it first. That was a mistake
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Sep 7, 2021 06:10
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I have to say, Hanako's route humanised Shizune a bit. Before I would have wanted her route last so I could just stop reading the LP. For now I'm okay with sticking through her path.
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Sep 7, 2021 06:35
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Chicken Thumbs posted:I vote for preferred order because frankly I was hoping you'd end on Lily's route.  preferred order, neither Shizune or Rin is a good route to end the game on.
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Sep 7, 2021 09:53
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Voting is closed! Looks like a strong consensus for the preferred order, which makes my life easier.
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Sep 8, 2021 17:34
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Update 52: The Beginning of the End Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time  Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight  HISAO: "Right then. Are you taking the bus, Lilly?" Lilly motions to a large suitcase standing beside her. LILLY: "I'll have to take this with me, so I've booked a taxi. It'll meet us at the school gates in about five minutes." HISAO: "Ah, I see." Lilly reaches down and feels out the handle of her suitcase. Its weight causes her some difficulty, so I quickly offer to take it myself. LILLY: "That is awfully kind of you, Hisao." She has no qualms about accepting, and I end up picking it up. It's not what I'd call light, but it's not exactly heavy, either. I don't think I'll have too much trouble carrying it. LILLY: "Well, thank you then. We should hurry though, if the taxi leaves then it will take quite a while to book a new one. Are you ready, Hanako?" HANAKO: "Y-yeah. Let's go." We rush to the gate as fast as we can, only to find that the taxi has yet to arrive. HISAO: "Well, nothing like a bit of exercise in the morning. The nurse told me that I should be doing that." LILLY: "I think he probably had other things in mind, Hisao. And probably with more regularity. Do you intend to be helping people with their luggage every day?" HISAO: "I guess not. Looks like we've got a bit to wait anyway. How long should we wait for the taxi before calling them again?" LILLY: "I would say another ten minutes, but they've never let me down before. There's probably just a little traffic." HISAO: "Okay then. So how long is the flight to Scotland?" LILLY: "About sixteen hours, if I remember correctly. It's a bit hard to tell with the changing time zones." HANAKO: "So long..."  It's now that I realize Hanako's been unusually quiet, even for her. She doesn't handle stress well, so she's looking really uptight. HISAO: "Yeah, I can't imagine being on a plane for that long." I've only ever flown on a short family holiday up north, so it really is quite hard to fathom. If Hanako's spent so much of her childhood at an orphanage, she's probably traveled very little, let alone flown. LILLY: "It's not too bad. I'll spend most of it either asleep or catching up on my English. I hardly use that here so I need to refamiliarize myself with it a little." HANAKO: "W-will your accent... be a problem?" LILLY: "I wouldn’t worry about that too much. It may be an issue initially, but I should be fine once I get used to it." We all move to sit down on the small bench beside the school gate in silence. Strangely enough, even though I know that Lilly is going away, I can't think of anything to say to her. Lilly is a reliable person, so it might be because she isn't the one that I'm thinking of most. Lilly might not be able to see it, but Hanako's chewing her fingernails nervously. I move to talk to her, but can hear an engine straining up the hill before I get the chance. HISAO: "Ah, I think the taxi is on its way..." LILLY: "Well spotted Hisao, I only just heard it as well." A small wave of pride washes over me. To have noticed something at the same time as Lilly must mean that I've become more aware of my surroundings. Anyway, we won't have to call the taxi company, nor worry about missing Lilly's train. Once the taxi stops where we're standing, the driver rolls down a window and leans over. After confirming that, yes, Lilly is the same Lilly Satou that booked the trip, we sort out her luggage. The driver opens the trunk of the taxi and takes Lilly's suitcase, with Lilly climbing into the back seat as he loads it into the trunk and slams it shut. After getting back into his seat and shutting the doors, he waits for us to say our farewells. HANAKO: "Have a safe trip, Lilly." HISAO: "Take care of yourself." Hanako looks understandably downcast, and that much is obvious even in her voice. LILLY: "Of course I will. I'll be back before long, don't worry. There will still be another person here for you too, won't there, Hisao?" HISAO: "Yeah, of course." I turn and smile to Hanako, putting my hand on her shoulder. She only manages to keep eye contact with me for a couple of seconds, her cheeks red all the while, before turning back to Lilly. HISAO: "See you, Lilly." HANAKO: "Good bye!" Lilly gives her farewells to the both of us with a fair measure of reluctance. (Silence) Without further ado, the driver starts the engine once more and they begin the journey down the hill, and towards the airport. The two of us stand at the gates for a long time even after they've disappeared from sight, not really knowing what to do. HISAO: "So, what do you want to do?" HANAKO: "I... don't know."  >How about we call it a day? >Do you want to go into the city? Do you remember when I mentioned two flaws in Hisao’s logic? The first is that he’s mind reading. He assumes he knows Hanako well enough to anticipate her wants and needs. But while he often makes the right decisions… He doesn’t. Not really. He admits it himself; every time he thinks he’s wrapped his head around her, something else comes up that calls his assumptions into question. It’s pretty clear that she does have feelings for him at this point, and we also know she’ll be lonely without Lilly around. Why not just… Do something with her? Treat her like she can make her own decisions about how she feels instead of assuming she’s going to go hide again. =>Do you want to go into the city? The worst she can do is say no. The bus stop, standing by the school gates like a mute sentinel, puts a strange idea in my mind. HISAO: "Do you want to head into town and look for a bookshop or something? We have the rest of the day free." It's a long shot, as Hanako doesn't like going into the city. I count the fact that we managed to get her out there even when it was so dark as a small miracle, but I genuinely want to spend more time with her. Anyway, she's likely to just refuse and go back to...  HANAKO: "Okay." HISAO: "Really?" HANAKO: "R-really. Let's go." I can't work out why Hanako has decided to agree with me, but I'm not about to ask her to change her mind. (Crowd Sounds)  Stepping off the bus, I immediately notice that a lot of people are around us. In hindsight, it should have been obvious; of course lots of people will be downtown on a Saturday afternoon. Hanako retreats close to my side, and I can feel her hand clutching my arm tightly. Her body is held against mine and her head is bowed so low that her hat hides most of her scarring. HISAO: "So uh, where shall we go? A bookshop?" Hanako's present and my other general living expenses have pretty much drained my budget, but I should be able to afford a few books. They're something I try to reserve a few funds for anyway. For a second I think Hanako didn't hear me, but then I look to my side and notice her nodding almost imperceptibly. HANAKO: "O-okay. D-do you know of one?" HISAO: "Actually, I do. We passed a few when Lilly and I were looking for your presents..." Hanako's expression clouds a fraction. I've got to remember to stop bringing up her birthday. HANAKO: "You both... spent a lot of time?" Or maybe I misjudged the situation. HISAO: "We wanted to make sure we got the right present, after all."  Hanako smiles and blushes a bit. It's a small treasure when she does. HISAO: "Anyway, there should be a bookshop just up ahead, do you want to check it out?" HANAKO: "S-sure." The crowds start to build as we head towards the bookshop along the raised walkways. Hanako latches her other arm onto me as well, making our progress a little slower. As we walk, the sound of the traffic makes me think of a possible distraction for her. HISAO: "I was wondering, Hanako... have you thought yet about when you're going to learn to drive?" HANAKO: "D-driving?" HISAO: "Yeah. You're kind of lucky, in a way; there aren't a whole lot of students in Yamaku that are allowed to drive." It's not the best topic of conversation, but I want to try and distract Hanako from the situation. She's really highly strung right now. Then again, all I've really done is make her feel awkward, since she's probably never thought about it. I wish I hadn't said anything. (City Noises)  Before long we are before one of the bookshops Lilly and I passed by during our search. HISAO: "What kind of self-respecting bookshop closes on Saturdays?" HANAKO: "Bookshops... don't make much money any more, because of the Internet. Maybe they just had to close over weekends?" She seems pretty knowledgeable about technology. I guess it's a pursuit that would lend itself well to someone who enjoys solitude. HISAO: "Huh, I guess that makes sense... it's easier to find books online. Anyway, it looks like this idea is shot. Anything else you'd like to do?" HANAKO: "I-if it's not... not a bother... could you show me where you bought my present?" HISAO: "Sure, not a problem. It's not far from here." I head off in the direction of the store, only half-sure of its exact location. I don't want a repeat of the last time; spending half the day walking around aimlessly. HISAO: "Here we are, Othello's Antiques." HANAKO: "I-it's small." HISAO: "Well, yes. It took Lilly and I some time to find it." HANAKO: "Can we go in?" HISAO: "I don't see why not; it's open." Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar Hanako pushes through the door and enters before me. Once again, the store is empty save for the store owner. His face drops a little when he sees me. SHOPKEEPER: "Oh, you're not here for a return are you? Wait, that's not the girl you had with you last time..." HISAO: "Er, no, we're not here to return anything. We were just in town and wanted to have another look in here." The store owner considers this for quite a long time. I guess he's not used to high school students coming to his shop on a regular basis. SHOPKEEPER: "Might this be the friend you bought gifts for?" HISAO: "That's right. They were presents for her."  The store owner turns to Hanako, who freezes on the spot like a deer caught in the headlights. He moves to address her, but stops before doing so, looking a little taken aback. He catches himself staring and looks to the side, addressing us indirectly. His expression is awkward and tense, as is his entire body. I want to be mad at him, but I know full well that I had the same instinctive reaction when I first saw her. First surprise, then curiosity, then an awkward look away as I dealt with what I'd seen. Hanako looks less panicked than before... but I think the feeling she's giving off now is worse. It's not anger, nor annoyance. If anything, it's one of apology. SHOPKEEPER: "You're lucky there, young lady. To have friends that care about you as much as they do." HANAKO: "Th-thank you..." If I hadn't spent so much time with Hanako I wouldn't even have realized that she said anything. Then again, the store owner's mumble was hardly clear either, thanks in part to being directed away from us. Hanako strikes out into the store, gazing in wonder at the various items on display. She finds the doll section, and spends lingering minutes studying each and every one. It's a side of Hanako I've only barely been introduced to. I was astonished when Lilly said she liked dolls, and even more so to find her “collection” sitting on her dresser. She looks a little better now that she's distracted and out of the store owner's sight, but I'm still quite put off by the whole experience. I might have my own problems, but I've never had strangers react to me like that, as if I was something completely alien to them. HANAKO: "This is a nice shop." HISAO: "Yeah, it's not what I expected. Do you want to buy something?" HANAKO: "I-I didn't bring any money." HISAO: "Well, we can always come again." Now that I know where to find it, that is. HANAKO: "W-we can?" HISAO: "Of course. We can come here as often as you'd like." HANAKO: "Th-thank you." HISAO: "You don't need to thank me; I almost forgot where this place was." I don't really think either of us completely believes in what we're saying, but rather, we're just repeating what we think we should say. HANAKO: "C-can we go back to the school now?" HISAO: "Sure thing. Let's go." (Silence, City Noises) As we leave for the bus stop, I see the store owner peek through the curtain at the back of the shop. I'm not really sure what that glance he gives to her says. It feels a bit weird, and the fact that Hanako didn't see it is both a relief and a bit frustrating. (City Noises Stop)  Hanako and I stop walking once we reach the concrete area between the dormitory buildings. There was barely a word said between us on the way back from the city. HANAKO: "Well then, goodbye." HISAO: "Do you want to have some tea or something? How about a game?" Hanako shakes her head embarrassedly. HANAKO: "I... I'm tired. Maybe later? I've got homework..."  She sounds a little depressed. Hanako obviously does want to do more, but I suppose she would have a bit of schoolwork to catch up on; she's missed a few days of lessons. HISAO: "Ah, homework. Thanks for reminding me; I've got a stack to do as well. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." HANAKO: "See you, Hisao." Before I can say goodbye, Hanako has turned and begun walking towards the entrance to the female dormitory building. I look at the door she disappears through for a bit, before going off towards my own dorms. Today was a tiring day. END OF ACT 3 Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 13:27 on Sep 9, 2021 |
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Sep 8, 2021 19:21
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Antistar01 posted:I forgot about Hanako's silly hat. Though I guess that's certainly a convincingly weird Japanese outfit. C’mon, she looks ready to battle demons in the center of the mind and everything.
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Sep 8, 2021 20:00
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This is one of the questionable game design choices. Because there are 3 endings, they had to have multiple decision points, but I'm not certain exactly what here makes the difference.
Cobalt-60 fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Sep 9, 2021 |
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Sep 9, 2021 01:11
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Flying from Southeast Asia to the UK takes around 13 hours, so 16 hours from Japan sounds right.
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Sep 9, 2021 03:26
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:I would like shizune's route next but the preferred order is fine too. Thanks, man. It's a lot less work than you'd think (I just copy the scripts off of the wiki and run them through a macro that puts in the portraits and music links), but it's still a lot of work. Actually, I might talk about dictation software in the next disability corner after I finish the sexuality one, someday.
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Sep 9, 2021 20:10
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Falconier111 posted:[b]Update 52: The Beginning of the End[/ Ooh, that’s really tough as presented fact through the lens of a anxiety disorder. There was a non-zero chance that Hanako would have froze up on the spot, or-as emphatically as possible-want to return to the dorms and hang out with Hisao there. You’re right to say to check of course. Makes perfect sense.. I dunno, aren’t we too hard on Hisao here? This one clearly learned the lesson it took getting into a fight with Emi to accomplish, without the need for greater drama. He’s acting in ways that I’ve seen people do in my field: check her agency, offer advice with no expectation, check in with trusteds. Psycho Lawnmower fucked around with this message at 17:11 on Sep 10, 2021 |
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Sep 10, 2021 17:00
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Quote is not edit lol
Psycho Lawnmower fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Sep 11, 2021 |
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Sep 10, 2021 17:08
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