[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

https://www.wpxi.com/news/top-stori...XFQU3MAFAP7QFA/

quote:

UPMC, Pitt release results of largest clinical trial of monoclonal antibody treatment for COVID-19

PITTSBURGH � UPMC doctors addressed the latest COVID trends during a news conference Wednesday, particularly highlighting the success they�ve seen with monoclonal antibody treatment.

�So far, this trial has already shown us that the best monoclonal antibody is the one that�s available to you,� said Dr. Derek Angus, UPMC Chief Innovation Officer.

Angus stated that to date, 5,700 UPMC patients have been treated with a type of monoclonal antibody, which is essentially a potent version of the natural defense that bodies build to fight a virus. Researchers are right now continuing to study their effectiveness against the Delta variant, but so far, the treatment has proved to be successful at combating COVID.

�We�ve had just a handful of mild adverse reactions, not uncommon really from receiving any other medication, so we have found them to be remarkably safe and remarkably effective,� said Angus.

Angus said the treatment is ideally offered to COVID-positive patients as soon as possible, and can resultantly reduce the chance of hospitalization. Some children older than 12 have been among recipients.

Between the treatment and others, �the odds of death has been falling by 5 percent every month.�

With that said, the doctors still urge people to get vaccinated, wear masks, and socially distance.

�Delta is spreading among people we previously considered less vulnerable,� said Dr. Rachel Sackrowitz, Chief Medical Officer, UPMC ICU Service Center.

Sackrowitz said even people in their twenties have become critically ill, and that the �overwhelming majority� of hospitalized patients are unvaccinated.

UPMC�s top pediatrician also noted an increasing number of children getting sick.

�We are seeing an increase in outpatient cases of COVID in children in the clinics and the emergency department and an increase in children hospitalized with COVID,� said Dr. John Williams, Chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases.

Williams said in some cases, the children had preexisting conditions, but in other cases, they were otherwise healthy. He would not specify exactly how many children are currently being treated.

The findings of the OPTIMISE-C19 study worked to compare the effectiveness of monoclonal antibodies and two different treatments for outpatients with COVID-19.

The next phase of the trial, which is already in progress, will take a look at how well the current authorized treatments work against coronavirus variants, including delta, to prevent hospitalization and death.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:12

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# ? May 28, 2024 00:15

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

mystes posted:

Yeah we should try to eliminate influenza too.

Unironically yes, those numbers from winter were promising

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:12

Coldrice: Jan 20, 2006

It just floors me that in the last 10+ years we have made the corruption and illegal acts of the world common knowledge, all while witnessing brazen evil happen in real time, all while worker income/rights/QoL has decreased... and it has not spawned an armed uprising to overthrow the system yet. It is shocking how absolutely impotent the common American citizen is - and how willing they are to vote even more of their own power/rights away for petty/frivolous poo poo.

Anyways, if large swaths of the workforce dying to covid (while the rich squeeze more cash) isn't enough to crumble this country, then we're in for a nice empire of misery that lasts until global warming kills everything on this planet.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:14

Isentropy: Dec 12, 2010

skewetoo posted:

People react to public health and covid prognostications from a bookie ascended to authority status by capital

He's not even really a bookie because good bookies incorporate how the public reacts into their picks. (Everyone bets Knicks and Lakers over, no one bets Hornets and Raptors over). Nate lives in a perfect vacuum

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:15

ram dass in hell: Dec 29, 2019

Coldrice posted:

It just floors me that in the last 10+ years we have made the corruption and illegal acts of the world common knowledge, all while witnessing brazen evil happen in real time, all while worker income/rights/QoL has decreased... and it has not spawned an armed uprising to overthrow the system yet. It is shocking how absolutely impotent the common American citizen is - and how willing they are to vote even more of their own power/rights away for petty/frivolous poo poo.

Anyways, if large swaths of the workforce dying to covid (while the rich squeeze more cash) isn't enough to crumble this country, then we're in for a nice empire of misery that lasts until global warming kills everything on this planet.

this is what i mean when i say "cuck nation"

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:18

Zurtilik: Oct 23, 2015; The Biggest Brain in Guardia

Coldrice posted:

It just floors me that in the last 10+ years we have made the corruption and illegal acts of the world common knowledge, all while witnessing brazen evil happen in real time, all while worker income/rights/QoL has decreased... and it has not spawned an armed uprising to overthrow the system yet. It is shocking how absolutely impotent the common American citizen is - and how willing they are to vote even more of their own power/rights away for petty/frivolous poo poo.

Anyways, if large swaths of the workforce dying to covid (while the rich squeeze more cash) isn't enough to crumble this country, then we're in for a nice empire of misery that lasts until global warming kills everything on this planet.

You could be the spark, fellow goon!

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:18

100 degrees Calcium: Jan 23, 2011

The fire rises!

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:19

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Coldrice posted:

It just floors me that in the last 10+ years we have made the corruption and illegal acts of the world common knowledge, all while witnessing brazen evil happen in real time, all while worker income/rights/QoL has decreased... and it has not spawned an armed uprising to overthrow the system yet. It is shocking how absolutely impotent the common American citizen is - and how willing they are to vote even more of their own power/rights away for petty/frivolous poo poo.

Anyways, if large swaths of the workforce dying to covid (while the rich squeeze more cash) isn't enough to crumble this country, then we're in for a nice empire of misery that lasts until global warming kills everything on this planet.

everything will get worse forever, nobody will ever rebel, nobody will ever do poo poo about it. there is no hope of literally any aspect of life improving in the USA ever again, and I mean any aspect, from top to bottom, large to small. nothing will ever, ever ever be better than it is right now and right now is 10 times shittier than it used to be. in 30 years everything will be1000 times shittier than now.

americans are cowed, subjugated, beaten down, and utterly incapable of ever doing anything about it, ever. there's never been a population as easily manipulated, lied to and kept as slave cattle and we're just gonna get more so forever. america #1 baby!!!!

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:21

John_A_Tallon: Nov 22, 2000; Oh my! Check out that mitre!

Coldrice posted:

It just floors me that in the last 10+ years we have made the corruption and illegal acts of the world common knowledge, all while witnessing brazen evil happen in real time, all while worker income/rights/QoL has decreased... and it has not spawned an armed uprising to overthrow the system yet. It is shocking how absolutely impotent the common American citizen is - and how willing they are to vote even more of their own power/rights away for petty/frivolous poo poo.

Anyways, if large swaths of the workforce dying to covid (while the rich squeeze more cash) isn't enough to crumble this country, then we're in for a nice empire of misery that lasts until global warming kills everything on this planet.

If you're holding out for someone else to do it, you're the problem.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:22

Donkwich: Feb 28, 2011; Grimey Drawer

boosted wear the mask

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:22

TotalHell: Feb 22, 2005; _{Roman Reigns fights CM Punk in fantasy warld. Lotsa violins, so littl kids cant red it.}

wife just tested positive, time for me to get my test tomorrow I guess

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:22

Sudden Loud Noise: Feb 18, 2007

I've been getting a lot of responses about my bad opinions, so just to clear things up, here are my bad opinions.

The sun is hot, too hot to survive on? Some say so, but I think it's moderately hot.
I think one smart kid should be in charge of the school one day a week.
Is kissing real?
If it is I think I should get kissed.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:23

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Atrocious Joe posted:

https://twitter.com/Rjaellis/status/1435714749178675201?s=20

uh isn't the mayor of Portland the de facto chief of police?

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:26

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

Man� puts on a great show

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:27

Louisgod: Sep 25, 2003; Always Watching; Bread Liar

what the gently caress are libs thinking with trying to compare covid to the flu, the same virus that hosed up society a century ago and one we still need to take annual boosters for AND a virus tens of thousands STILL die from each yeah like god drat are these morons that loving disconnected from reality? Hold the onions please

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:27

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Unless posted:

cousin and his wife had covid, sent the kids to stay with their mom’s parents, gave them Covid, dad died

but have you considered the mental strain those kids would have had if they couldn't go to in person school

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:27

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

mod sassinator posted:

if you lived in china, who locked down strictly and quickly at the start of the pandemic, you would have spent most of the pandemic with zero changes to your life or livelihood and zero risk of catching a disease that hospitalizes or kills you or your loved ones.

you could have seen Arcade Fire concerts every week and not had a care or worry in the world. you could have eaten out at restaurants, gone to bars, saw movies in theaters, shopped at the mall...

lmao better things ARE possible dipshit

any time i bring up china and their child approved vaccines, general covid-free life, etc to my lib-brained co-workers, they legit don't believe me until i show them articles lmao
they just can't accept it or are completely shielded from the news

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-57859356
https://www.reuters.com/world/china/sinovacs-covid-19-vaccine-gains-china-approval-emergency-use-children-2021-06-05/

just brain breaking stuff for their worldview lmaoooo

also lol at this article
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-58095909
the video at the end is good, shows that yes it's possible to beat this poo poo you fucks, although the framing of it is dumb

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:28

Judakel: Jul 29, 2004; Can't post for 9 years!

Atrocious Joe posted:

https://twitter.com/carlquintanilla/status/1435564295748739073?s=20

how do you plan on doing this carl

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:29

Computer Serf: May 14, 2005; Buglord

Loucks posted:

im permabanned poster covidforever58. i first started reading the covid thread when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of �open biden� and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like �plandemic� and �i love eating horse paste� in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of �open biden� style of covid thread humor was all about; i think it�s the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who �get� the covid thread to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:29

ram dass in hell: Dec 29, 2019

Judakel posted:

how do you plan on doing this carl

many avoidable deaths of people Carl doesn't care about

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:30

Nothus: Feb 22, 2001; Buglord

The larger public catching on to what a dumbfuck Nate Silver is is one of the few silver linings of this fiasco.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:30

Iverron: May 13, 2012

Atrocious Joe posted:

https://twitter.com/Rjaellis/status/1435714749178675201?s=20

vote everyone, stay in line they can�t turn you away

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:31

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

https://twitter.com/conservamomusa/status/1435606664510676999?s=21

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:32

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

ram dass in hell posted:

I wasn't planning on it but the WHO pissed me off and now I'm getting #4 because gently caress em

I�ve gotten so much booster points from visiting so often to piss off the WHO that it unlocked my rank so I�m now a general in the germ wars. they�re developing this app that�s like a vaccine moba, it�s lore heavy too so you either choose a virus or antibody �champ� but idunno mobile games feel like such a scam tho so I�m not sure how many booster points I need to dump to max the titers 💉💉 and unlock endgame progression?

if you would kindly point to me the strategy guide on Open Biden :o:

I do not want a game Joe-ver from Joe-vid :sweatdrop:

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:32

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

uh isn't the mayor of Portland the de facto chief of police?

no, he's de jure chief of police, the police are de facto chief of the police.

edit: the law says wheeler is. the police tell wheeler to get hosed and threaten to murder his family, wheeler backs down. that means in reality, wheeler is not chief of police because the police can freely ignore his orders.

jetz0r fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Sep 9, 2021

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:33

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

mystes posted:

Maybe they sent some dishware with the kids? Apparently covid is some sort of china virus.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:33

Coldrice: Jan 20, 2006

John_A_Tallon posted:

If you're holding out for someone else to do it, you're the problem.

Not a bad point

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:34

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Rah! posted:

new national anthem just dropped

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTTwlAT_AwU

Ngl that's one of my favorite tracks and they didn't even play it in 2019 :argh:

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:34

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Gio posted:

https://twitter.com/conservamomusa/status/1435606664510676999?s=21

gently caress JUST LET ME DIE DURING AP BIO ALREADY JESUS

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:34

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Gio posted:

https://twitter.com/conservamomusa/status/1435606664510676999?s=21

There's something intensely sad about a teenager wearing an AC/DC hoodie

No wonder she wants to die

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:35

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

jetz0r posted:

no, he's de jure chief of police, the police are de facto chief of the police.

but I ordered tomato basil?

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:35

Rubby: Aug 31, 2002; <3 Louby

Lastgirl posted:

they're finally turning on nate for never shutting the gently caress up

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:36

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

Stfu nate u nerd :ssj:

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:37

PerniciousKnid: Sep 13, 2006

Coolness Averted posted:

gimme that sloth juice

Finally a vaccine the chuds will take.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:37

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

There's something intensely sad about a teenager wearing an AC/DC hoodie

No wonder she wants to die

i think thats a parent

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:37

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Gio posted:

i think thats a parent

Hard to tell in 2021

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:38

Judakel: Jul 29, 2004; Can't post for 9 years!

Gio posted:

i think thats a parent

lmao they're trolls from birth

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:38

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

but I ordered tomato basil?

de jure is "it's safe to unmask while eating indoors"

de facto is covid infecting your dumb rear end.

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:39

Isentropy: Dec 12, 2010

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

gently caress JUST LET ME DIE DURING AP BIO ALREADY JESUS

if there's any AP class these kids would never take it would definately be AP Bio (APUSH is probably #1)

these kids are firmly on the youth pastor -> get arrested in North Korea cause you tried to smuggle in an English language bible track

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:40

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# ? May 28, 2024 00:15

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Rubby posted:

# ? Sep 9, 2021 01:41

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