Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Karate Bastard

The amount of thrust generated in a big wheel steamer by 1 horse carcass

# ? Sep 11, 2021 22:26

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# ? May 11, 2024 08:56

Zil: Satanically Summoned Citrus

frump truck posted:

why are outboard motors measured in horsepower when horses cant do anything in the water

because dolphins are hard to corral into an engine, horses fit much better

Thanks to Dumb Sex-Parrot for the Christmas citrusy sig!

frump truck posted:

why are outboard motors measured in horsepower when horses cant do anything in the water

they�re talking about seahorses obv

# ? Sep 12, 2021 02:13

Manifisto

Dip Viscous posted:

advanced winos & binos
a tabletop rpg in which you get blasted on boxed wine, stare at each other with binoculars, and fight imaginary birds

edit: if it wasn't clear, the wine and staring at each other across the table with binoculars happens in real life and i guess the staring could replace dice rolls

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 12, 2021 03:28

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

a romantic comedy about an older brother dying and haunting his younger loser brother's smartphone, and manipulating the autocorrect to try to help get his life on track and help him in pursuit of ~doing it~ as he sends people messages, browses the internet etc.

# ? Sep 12, 2021 08:14

RavenousScoot

Code Jockey posted:

a romantic comedy about an older brother dying and haunting his younger loser brother's smartphone, and manipulating the autocorrect to try to help get his life on track and help him in pursuit of ~doing it~ as he sends people messages, browses the internet etc.

killed myself so I can be haunting my enemies' youtube recommendations rn

# ? Sep 12, 2021 08:24

mind the walrus

Code Jockey posted:

a romantic comedy about an older brother dying and haunting his younger loser brother's smartphone, and manipulating the autocorrect to try to help get his life on track and help him in pursuit of ~doing it~ as he sends people messages, browses the internet etc.

The joke is that even though the ghost is manipulating the gently caress out of everything his brother sees there's no perceptible difference to him from what it was before, so the ghost is never discovered and dies.

# ? Sep 12, 2021 14:44

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

A guy grows up to believe in baby Jesus and that his body is a temple of the holy spirit but also watches a lot of mech anime and forms the concept in his mind that baby jesus is in a cockpit in his head controlling him and whenever he's facing a crisis there's a cutaway to baby Jesus hitting buttons on a control panel.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 00:48

Finger Prince

Prurient Squid posted:

A guy grows up to believe in baby Jesus and that his body is a temple of the holy spirit but also watches a lot of mech anime and forms the concept in his mind that baby jesus is in a cockpit in his head controlling him and whenever he's facing a crisis there's a cutaway to baby Jesus hitting buttons on a control panel.

Abraham, Jesus, Mohammad, Moses, and Haile Selassie join together to form God, kinda like Voltron or the Power Rangers.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 02:19

Robot Made of Meat

Moderately Silassie.

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Sep 13, 2021 02:20

Manifisto

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Moderately Silassie.

lol

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 13, 2021 02:32

RavenousScoot

an austin powers sequel where he and dr evil go through the time machine at the same time and come out as conjoined twins. they have to work together to defeat a group of rival villains all played by mike myers
it's called Double Agent

# ? Sep 13, 2021 14:14

Prof. Crocodile

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Moderately Silassie.

# ? Sep 13, 2021 14:49

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

RavenousScoot posted:

an austin powers sequel where he and dr evil go through the time machine at the same time and come out as conjoined twins. they have to work together to defeat a group of rival villains all played by mike myers
it's called Double Agent

A hybrid Austin Powers spinoff with the storyline and most of the cast from Lost In Space called Lost In Powers

# ? Sep 13, 2021 15:24

Ventral EggSac

Prurient Squid posted:

A guy grows up to believe in baby Jesus and that his body is a temple of the holy spirit but also watches a lot of mech anime and forms the concept in his mind that baby jesus is in a cockpit in his head controlling him and whenever he's facing a crisis there's a cutaway to baby Jesus hitting buttons on a control panel.

Inside Out but instead of Joy, Sadness, etc it's the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

# ? Sep 13, 2021 15:32

deep dish peat moss

Everybody's always talking about the supernatural but I'm more interested in the subnatural

# ? Sep 14, 2021 01:37

Manifisto

Robot Made of Meat posted:

Moderately Silassie.

"Slightly Silassie" sounds like the title of a sitcom

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 14, 2021 02:47

Stoner Sloth

deep dish peat moss posted:

Everybody's always talking about the supernatural but I'm more interested in the subnatural

david attenborough: and here we have just the absolute worst sloth... I can't even stand looking at this absolutely piece of poo poo

# ? Sep 14, 2021 04:41

Karate Bastard

What would the subnatural even be? Something even more obviously explainable than nature? Like, math? Like of course the infinte expansion of that term sums to one half pi, you dipshit jeez...

# ? Sep 14, 2021 06:41

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Walk up to people with your phone camera at the ready and ask them how to convert hours to metric.

When you find the right person, take a pic of the look on their face as they ponder.

Send them the pic, and take their phone out of their hand as they continue to blank stare.

Using their face/thumbprint, unlock their phone and download the pic you just sent them and

Make the pic you took of the look on their face their new lock screen pic

# ? Sep 14, 2021 19:11

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

I used to think my life was a tragedy. But now I've realised, it's Chinatown.

# ? Sep 15, 2021 12:59

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I'm standing in front of a microphone. I crane my neck to one side of the mic, looking off to the far stage left.

"Does he really do that bit where he pretends he's two people having a conversation? I thought that kind of schtick went out back when taking a circus mallet to a produce stand stopped being worth a check."

I crane my neck to the other side of the mic, staring off to the extreme stage right

"Floyd, a man is carrying on a conversation with himself in front of an audience and that's the part that bothers you?"

Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Sep 15, 2021

# ? Sep 15, 2021 17:16

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Jesters can't melt steel beams. Or something.

# ? Sep 15, 2021 18:55

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Gotham City is Sodom. God sends his Angel down to destroy the city and Batman has to fight it to fulfill his oath. Or something.

# ? Sep 15, 2021 21:39

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Prurient Squid posted:

Gotham City is Sodom. God sends his Angel down to destroy the city and Batman has to fight it to fulfill his oath. Or something.

bargains with god to find one pure soul, is immediately shot down when he tries to include himself in that count

God: "yeah, if you can find one, i'll hold off."

BW: "well, you found him. i mean, i am a superhero and all."

God: "....nooOOOOooo. absolutely not. you are probably one of the furthest things away from that. i mean, yeah, your parents died (they say hi btw) and that really messes a person up but i'm pretty sure that grief and trauma didn't manifest itself with you hopping around in a cape and cowl while beating up the poors."

Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Sep 15, 2021

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 15, 2021 21:56

google THIS

Prurient Squid posted:

Gotham City is Sodom. God sends his Angel down to destroy the city and Batman has to fight it to fulfill his oath. Or something.

This is a somewhat accurate synopsis of the Dark Knight trilogy

# ? Sep 15, 2021 22:28

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Which Japanese pronouns would the Father the Son and the Holy Spirt use respectively?

# ? Sep 16, 2021 18:32

frump truck: hello... again!

Prurient Squid posted:

Which Japanese pronouns would the Father the Son and the Holy Spirt use respectively?

probably shachou, kun, and senpai

# ? Sep 16, 2021 19:05

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

lol

# ? Sep 16, 2021 19:06

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

The Catholic church makes an attempt to reach the younger generation with a marketing campaign called "Notice Me, Holy Senpai" with a partnership with Crunchyroll to stream mass

# ? Sep 16, 2021 19:09

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

the next great schism in the church is between people who watch mass with subtitles and those who prefer it english dubbed

# ? Sep 16, 2021 19:12

Jestery: Not a Dickman, just a shape

Prurient Squid posted:

Jesters can't melt steel beams. Or something.

Not with that attitude

# ? Sep 17, 2021 01:41

Stoner Sloth

Prurient Squid posted:

Which Japanese pronouns would the Father the Son and the Holy Spirt use respectively?

frump truck posted:

probably shachou, kun, and senpai

notice me holy ghost

# ? Sep 17, 2021 04:26

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

armchair speedrunners

Sitting in my recliner, angrily yelling at the TV THAT ISN'T THE OPTIMAL ROUTE CONSIDERING YOUR CURRENT MP

# ? Sep 17, 2021 06:16

Dip Viscous

"i have questions but i am 70% sure i don't want answers"

tales of a detective that often just says gently caress it

# ? Sep 17, 2021 13:57

Karate Bastard

Code Jockey posted:

armchair speedrunners

Sitting in my recliner, angrily yelling at the TV THAT ISN'T THE OPTIMAL ROUTE CONSIDERING YOUR CURRENT MP

Hang on hang on hear me out: Armchair

...masturbators?

# ? Sep 17, 2021 16:55

Code Jockey: 69420 basic bytes free

Karate Bastard posted:

Hang on hang on hear me out: Armchair

...masturbators?

Brazzers this season is fuckin' ridiculous, I exclaim, throwing up my hands in frustration, my boner wilting gradually

# ? Sep 17, 2021 17:16

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# ? May 11, 2024 08:56

Karate Bastard

No buddy, buddy, hey, buddy

Buddy you're holding it wrongbuddy hey no. You're doing it wrong buddy you gotta squeeze. Hey rear end in a top hat are you even LISTENING NOW GRAB THAT BALLSACK

# ? Sep 17, 2021 17:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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