[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

McNugget Buddy posted:

Millions of people attending FOOTBAW every Saturday and Sunday for the next 3 months along with schools being open will cause a giant spike in American cases

If we'd shut down schools and sports now, the wave would plateau and subside until the holidays

Everything is so loving dumb

Lol yeah

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:04

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# ? May 27, 2024 07:59

mystes: May 31, 2006

I talked to my boomer father, and you will all be glad to know that we're already past the peak of the current spike, despite schools opening and everything.

I pointed out that more schools are open in person than last year, but that apparently only shows that the massive increase in the fall last year was not connected to schools so it's ok.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:08

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

McNugget Buddy posted:

Millions of people attending FOOTBAW every Saturday and Sunday for the next 3 months along with schools being open will cause a giant spike in American cases

If we'd shut down schools and sports now, the wave would plateau and subside until the holidays

Everything is so loving dumb

I think it's too late even if we tried to shut down schools and sports now. it'd have to be a nationwide, everybody-at-once stoppage of literally everything everywhere and even then I'm still not convinced it would actually pleateau at this point. the biden admin is just hoping that enough people will get vaccinated that it will just fizzle out and disappear without having to do literally anything else at all and it's pretty obvious by now that that isn't going to happen.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:09

Stairmaster: Jun 8, 2012

Are my glasses supposed to fog up with an n95

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:09

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

jetz0r posted:

Nice catch, they're low key allowing exhalation valves on NIOSH certified masks.

oh poo poo this is going to change everything

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:10

gregday: May 23, 2003

speaking as a person from dyer county, I�m going to say the only way lake county is not deep red is if every single person there is already dead of COVID

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:10

Delta-Wye: Sep 29, 2005

gregday posted:

speaking as a person from dyer county, I�m going to say the only way lake county is not deep red is if every single person there is already dead of COVID

the only reason so many other counties have so many cases is because they are testing too much. less testing means less cases bing bong so simple

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:12

Fame Douglas: Nov 20, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

We've had states report deaths with half a year of delay, there's no reason to trust any numbers.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:14

RC Cola: Aug 1, 2011; Dovie'andi se tovya sagain

Coldrice posted:

Going to try to get the first basic version of the covid simulator operating by the end of the weekend if I can

There are now basic "work stations" (just computers for now) that the characters will go to for work. You can move them around, and you can move the characters around as well.

This is fantastic. What did you write it in out of curiosity?

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:15

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

Stairmaster posted:

Are my glasses supposed to fog up with an n95

Check the seal around your nose and cheeks. If there aren't any leaks there, you should be good. Fogging can still happen from the moisture in the air that passes through the upper part of the mask. Not really anything to do about that, and it does suck.

I've heard some KF94s have a non-permeable top section that blocks any air from leaving, to prevent glasses from fogging. Elastomeric respirators can solve the issue by only air to escape through a vent.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:17

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

McNugget Buddy posted:

Millions of people attending FOOTBAW every Saturday and Sunday for the next 3 months along with schools being open will cause a giant spike in American cases

If we'd shut down schools and sports now, the wave would plateau and subside until the holidays

Everything is so loving dumb

of course. also newsom was afraid of the recall so hasn�t done poo poo

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:18

McNugget Buddy: Aug 14, 2021; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

empty whippet box posted:

I think it's too late even if we tried to shut down schools and sports now. it'd have to be a nationwide, everybody-at-once stoppage of literally everything everywhere and even then I'm still not convinced it would actually pleateau at this point. the biden admin is just hoping that enough people will get vaccinated that it will just fizzle out and disappear without having to do literally anything else at all and it's pretty obvious by now that that isn't going to happen.

Current US wave is plateauing now - cases and hospitalizations are leveling off and heading down

Won't last for long

I can't imagine states restricting capacity at stadiums again no matter how bad it gets - if 80,000 tickets are sold to an NFL game, then capacity got reduced to 10% - there would be riots if 90% of ticketholders were issued refunds and kept out.

More importantly - NFL doesn't want to give back that money.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:19

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

fosborb posted:

oh poo poo this is going to change everything

Finally, the dozens of people who read the CDC website and follow it to the letter are free to use whatever NIOSH certified masks they want!

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:20

stone soup: Jul 8, 2004

still thinkin bout that chicken disease

PBS newshour article circa 2015 posted:

In recent years, experts have wondered if leaky vaccines were to blame for the emergence of these hot strains. The 1970s introduction of the Marek�s disease immunizations for baby chicks kept the poultry industry from collapse, but people soon learned that vaccinated birds were catching �the bug� without subsequently dying. Then, over the last half century, symptoms for Marek�s worsened. Paralysis was more permanent; brains more quickly turned to mush. [...]

Read�s group started their investigation by exposing vaccinated and unvaccinated Rhode Island Red chickens to one of five Marek�s disease strains that ranged from hot to cold. The hottest strains killed every unvaccinated bird within 10 days, and the team noticed that barely any virus was shed from the feathers of the chickens during that time. (The virus spreads via contaminated dust in chicken coops). In contrast, vaccination extended the lifespan of birds exposed to the hottest strains, with 80 percent living longer than two months. But the vaccinated chickens were transmitting the virus, shedding 10,000 times more virus than an unvaccinated bird.

�Previously, a hot strain was so nasty, it wiped itself out. Now, you keep its host alive with a vaccine, then it can transmit and spread in the world,� Read said. �So it�s got an evolutionary future, which it didn�t have before.�

But does this evolutionary future breed more dangerous viruses?

This study argues yes. [...]

�One way to look at that experiment is that shows vaccinating birds kills unvaccinated birds. The vaccination of one group of birds leads to the transmission of a virus so hot that it kills the other birds, said Read said. �If you vaccinate the mothers, the same thing happens. The offspring are protected by the maternal antibodies of the mother and that allows the virus in the chicks to transmit before they kill the host. So they transmit and kill the other individuals.�

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:20

Crazypoops: Jul 17, 2017

Whoa wtf is all this are.. are we actually

DOING SOMETHING?

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:21

durrneez: Feb 20, 2013; I like fish. I like to eat fish. I like to brush fish with a fish hairbrush. Do you like fish too?

ram dass in hell posted:

well poo poo i guess the idiots around me should mask up to protect themselves from my deadly miasma then

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:26

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

The New York numbers were reported accutekay to the cdc they just didn�t update the ny webpage with them afaict

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:28

empty whippet box: Jun 9, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

McNugget Buddy posted:

Current US wave is plateauing now - cases and hospitalizations are leveling off and heading down

Won't last for long

If this is the case then why does it seem like hospital capacities are continuing to get squeezed nationwide? I hate to sound like a conspiracy nut but I'm having a harder and harder time trusting these numbers for these reasons - there's no reason why the new case number would be going down. We've done literally nothing to accomplish that, in fact it's very much the opposite. I just don't think I believe we're plateauing in any sense - more likely it's a combination of capacity issues + intentional gaming of the numbers by every state and federal agency which is tasked with reporting them. Which would sound crazy if it hadn't been happening pretty much out in the open for the last 18 months continuously

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:29

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

FistEnergy posted:

Update to the COVID denier we were laughing at last week

https://ibb.co/3WnLLmM

that's an....odd choice for a death notice

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:31

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

empty whippet box posted:

If this is the case then why does it seem like hospital capacities are continuing to get squeezed nationwide? I hate to sound like a conspiracy nut but I'm having a harder and harder time trusting these numbers for these reasons - there's no reason why the new case number would be going down. We've done literally nothing to accomplish that, in fact it's very much the opposite. I just don't think I believe we're plateauing in any sense - more likely it's a combination of capacity issues + intentional gaming of the numbers by every state and federal agency which is tasked with reporting them. Which would sound crazy if it hadn't been happening pretty much out in the open for the last 18 months continuously

Do you not believe in magic?

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:31

Nocturtle: Mar 17, 2007

stone soup posted:

still thinkin bout that chicken disease

Fortunately this doesn't apply as COVID can transmit asymptomatically and only kills a small minority of infected, meaning a putatively more lethal version would likely be getting passed around in any case.

*Chuckles nervously*

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:35

Coldrice: Jan 20, 2006

RC Cola posted:

This is fantastic. What did you write it in out of curiosity?

I'm doing it in Unity, but I'm using a framework called FUTILE which allows me to do it code only

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:36

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

empty whippet box posted:

If this is the case then why does it seem like hospital capacities are continuing to get squeezed nationwide? I hate to sound like a conspiracy nut but I'm having a harder and harder time trusting these numbers for these reasons - there's no reason why the new case number would be going down. We've done literally nothing to accomplish that, in fact it's very much the opposite. I just don't think I believe we're plateauing in any sense - more likely it's a combination of capacity issues + intentional gaming of the numbers by every state and federal agency which is tasked with reporting them. Which would sound crazy if it hadn't been happening pretty much out in the open for the last 18 months continuously

Just look at last year vs this year. There's definitely a labor day lag and it'll probably be worse than last year since more people travelling instead of caring about their public health job

Also the southern summer cases shifted a bit because the vaccines did help against wildtype, so it wasn't til the Delta kickoff that the south got big and mashed their peak into when the north is getting ready to gear up

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:38

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

I know for a fact my iowa county's positivity rate jumped 2% last week. Still sub 10%.

We can beat this!

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:40

CongoJack: Nov 5, 2009; Ask Why, Asshole

jetz0r posted:

Not sure why but this made me feel sad, I guess that's what I get for not breathing in enough joker gas (reading cspam)

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:41

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

Coldrice posted:

Going to try to get the first basic version of the covid simulator operating by the end of the weekend if I can

There are now basic "work stations" (just computers for now) that the characters will go to for work. You can move them around, and you can move the characters around as well.

Rad as hell.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:41

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

CongoJack posted:

Not sure why but this made me feel sad, I guess that's what I get for not breathing in enough joker gas (reading cspam)

Check out his public Facebook profile to feel considerably less sad.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:45

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

stone soup posted:

still thinkin bout that chicken disease

I really don't like those implications lol!

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:45

Shyfted One: May 9, 2008

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/statuses/1436823739602292745

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:48

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

lmao I got suspended from tiktok for saying this. Not even close to my harshest comment

Replying to an antivaxxer moaning about losing his job in vancouver where vaccine passports just went live.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:49

Zurtilik: Oct 23, 2015; The Biggest Brain in Guardia

Some real end of Stand by Me poo poo but all the cards are just

"Jimmy went on to die from COVID."

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:50

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

lmao I got suspended from tiktok for saying this. Not even close to my harshest comment

Replying to an antivaxxer moaning about losing his job in vancouver where vaccine passports just went live.

you had no right to destroy their personal agency like that :o:

this is a service economy after all

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:50

ram dass in hell: Dec 29, 2019

UnfortunateSexFart posted:

lmao I got suspended from tiktok for saying this. Not even close to my harshest comment

Replying to an antivaxxer moaning about losing his job in vancouver where vaccine passports just went live.

if i posted that it would be like the single most polite and decorum thing i ever wrote

lol

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:51

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

Lol yeah

Those college ball videos were something else, football towns like Gainsville have 100k+ people attending the games.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:53

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

"you have a right to choose, but don't get healthcare" is not the way to get m4a friend :shobon:

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:53

McNugget Buddy: Aug 14, 2021; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Zurtilik posted:

Some real end of Stand by Me poo poo but all the cards are just

"Jimmy went on to die from COVID."

If I wasn't lazy, I'd remake the Animal House ending with videos of the antivaxxers at school board meetings, but the freeze frame would just be "JOHN MACOY WENT ON TO DIE 3 WEEKS LATER" repeated dozens of times

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:54

Impkins Patootie: Apr 20, 2017

cenotaph posted:

suck my exhaust

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:55

Strep Vote: May 5, 2004; أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

mastershakeman posted:

Just look at last year vs this year. There's definitely a labor day lag and it'll probably be worse than last year since more people travelling instead of caring about their public health job

Also the southern summer cases shifted a bit because the vaccines did help against wildtype, so it wasn't til the Delta kickoff that the south got big and mashed their peak into when the north is getting ready to gear up

It sloshes back and forth between population pockets, sometimes rising as it finds fresh fuel, sometimes falling as it subsides from one food source to ooze over another, consuming and evolving and getting bigger all the time. Then smaller ones come along and they duke it out with the big cheese virus within the food supply itself. Very interesting behavior that mimics will or direction systemically. Kinda fungal, actually.

Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Sep 12, 2021

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:56

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

ram dass in hell posted:

if i posted that it would be like the single most polite and decorum thing i ever wrote

lol

It's my second suspension in a row, was just free for like 24 hours. Guess I'm on the naughty list now and the algorithm will just suspend me every time anyone reports anything.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:56

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# ? May 27, 2024 07:59

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

ram dass in hell posted:

if i posted that it would be like the single most polite and decorum thing i ever wrote

lol

americans are really the softest thin skinned bitches imaginable, guess thats what happens when you develop a nation where they get catered to first as whites only and creating a value myth around that for centuries

# ? Sep 11, 2021 23:57

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