Sumo wrestling - huge men, massive hits, gigantic macarons

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Sumo wrestling - huge men, massive hits, gigantic macarons

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Takuan: May 6, 2007

I felt compelled to make this.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 05:03

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 22:26

Dias: Feb 20, 2011; by sebmojo

Fluffdaddy posted:

Told yall Endo is good for 8-10 from this level. Easy money every time. The Endo Way

ah, too good for low/mid maegashira, too wack for high maegashira, good ol' Endo

# ? Sep 19, 2021 05:05

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

bigsumofan has a Shodai tegata I keep leaning towards getting because its so perfect

I have never seen a real, non printed, tegata before where everything is so loving clean. The one place in his entire sumo career where he puts in obvious, understandable effort.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 05:06

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Shodai also has the strongest grip strength of Rikishi. And yet he is the most underwhelming Ozeki.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 05:26

GoatSeeGuy: Dec 26, 2003; What if Jerome Walton made me a champion?

Lid posted:

Shodai also has the strongest grip strength of Rikishi. He is the only Ozeki.

I updated this for November for you.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 07:12

Brut: Aug 21, 2007

GoatSeeGuy posted:

I updated this for November for you.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 07:29

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

That looked concerning, I hope Ura isn't out of the basho.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 08:57

Banana Canada: Sep 2, 2003; I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.

Kenning posted:

Day 7 standings

Makuuchi

code:

24	Banana Canada
23	bartolimu
23	pseudodragon
22	anakha
22	Everyones Favorite Poster
22	GoatSeeGuy
22	LlamaTrauma
22	Skjorte
21	bessantj
21	Brut
21	captainblastum
21	jmzero
21	Maigius
21	MalarkeyToboggan
21	scripterror
21	Tochiazuma
20	Dias
20	Fluffdaddy
20	Marching Powder
20	sivad
20	Tiny Bug Child
20	whats for dinner
19	Bellwether
19	Charles Gnarwin
19	Pakled
18.5	Kenning
18.5	Thauros
18	Chinook
18	KungFu Grip
18	MyChemicalImbalance
17	Beeswax
17	Khizan
17	QuasiQuack
17	Scythe
16.5	Helianthus Annuus
15	Lid
13.5	Vargatron

Juryo

code:

24	Crusty Nutsack
23	Ice Phisherman
22	ilmucche
22	Netsky
22	Robviously
21	Diplomat
21	Halloween Jack
21	Takuan
20	Eli949
20	Spokes
20	Teddybear
19	Communist Thoughts
18	Gaghskull
18	Iron Chef Nex
18	Liquid Communism
18	Shiroc
17.5	Martytoof
17	Firebatgyro
17	Jobbo_Fett
15	NuclearPotato

# ? Sep 19, 2021 09:31

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Rematch!

It went exactly the way I thought it would, to be honest.

Also my stream cut away during the news, I wanted to see what the go was with the earthquake.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 09:35

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Memento posted:

Rematch!

It went exactly the way I thought it would, to be honest.

Also my stream cut away during the news, I wanted to see what the go was with the earthquake.

5 magnitude earthquake northwest of Tokyo. Didn't catch the name.

The fun bit is footage from wherever the quake is. The camera jiggles a bit, some people in the street look about for two seconds, then keep walking.

e: Hida, Gifu province. 3 quakes, 5M the largest.

Elissimpark fucked around with this message at 09:57 on Sep 19, 2021

# ? Sep 19, 2021 09:53

Beeswax: Dec 29, 2005; Grimey Drawer

Incredible scenes in the final match of the day

# ? Sep 19, 2021 11:00

whats for dinner: Sep 25, 2006; IT TURN OUT METAL FOR DINNER!

Terunofuji with the recovery right on the tawara was awesome. Thought for sure that was going to be his first kinboshi but he just worked through the escape with a pretty clear process in mind..

# ? Sep 19, 2021 11:02

Zedsdeadbaby: Jun 14, 2008; You have been called out, in the ways of old.

Honestly that Terunofuji recovery was insane and very much what being a yokozuna is all about.
Chiyoshoma with the smoothest henka I've ever seen - even took out the gyoji. Nothing more dangerous than a cornered jackal - expect some big boy henkas from our man Tochinoshin soon as he makes his way to the glue factory.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 11:17

Brut: Aug 21, 2007

bessantj posted:

That looked concerning, I hope Ura isn't out of the basho.

He seemed fine to me I think he just lost his balance and took his time getting up.

Edit: I just saw some more replays that I didn't see before and maybe I am an idiot, we'll find out tonight

Brut fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Sep 19, 2021

# ? Sep 19, 2021 16:56

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Teddybear posted:

Hell, why not. I'm going to trade Chiyoshoma for Kiribayama (or, failing that, Wakatakakage).

Trade registered.

NuclearPotato posted:

Who did I end up with out of this?

You got Endo!

Day 8 standings

Makuuchi

code:

29	Banana Canada
28	bartolimu
27	anakha
27	bessantj
27	Brut
27	pseudodragon
26	captainblastum
26	Everyones Favorite Poster
26	Fluffdaddy
26	GoatSeeGuy
26	LlamaTrauma
26	MalarkeyToboggan
26	scripterror
25	Dias
25	jmzero
25	Maigius
25	Skjorte
25	Tiny Bug Child
24	Marching Powder
24	sivad
23	Bellwether
23	Charles Gnarwin
23	Pakled
23	Tochiazuma
23	whats for dinner
22.5	Kenning
22	Chinook
22	MyChemicalImbalance
22	Scythe
21.5	Thauros
21	Beeswax
21	KungFu Grip
20.5	Helianthus Annuus
20	Khizan
20	QuasiQuack
17.5	Vargatron
15	Lid

Juryo

code:

28	Crusty Nutsack
27	Ice Phisherman
26	Robviously
26	Takuan
25	Diplomat
25	ilmucche
25	Netsky
25	Spokes
24	Eli949
24	Halloween Jack
23	Communist Thoughts
23	Iron Chef Nex
23	Teddybear
22	Firebatgyro
22	Gaghskull
22	Liquid Communism
21.5	Martytoof
21	Shiroc
20	Jobbo_Fett
20	NuclearPotato

KK and MK are starting to come in, so look for a lot of jumping around in the standings over the next couple days.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:52

net work error: Feb 26, 2011

Brut posted:

He seemed fine to me I think he just lost his balance and took his time getting up.

Edit: I just saw some more replays that I didn't see before and maybe I am an idiot, we'll find out tonight

I hope he's fine. I've become a fan of his this basho.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:56

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Never not draft hot bois

# ? Sep 19, 2021 17:59

Firebatgyro: Dec 3, 2010

Brut posted:

He seemed fine to me I think he just lost his balance and took his time getting up.

I think its mostly that his knees are wrapped so tight he can barely move

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:03

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Now he is a yokozuna Terunofuji has been getting some fat stacks with his wins.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:19

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

bessantj posted:

Now he is a yokozuna Terunofuji has been getting some fat stacks with his wins.

I haven't noticed, but are we talking prime Hakuho double stacks?

# ? Sep 19, 2021 18:57

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

He's doing great sumo too. It's not that he's just blasting out and winning every match immediately, it's that he's always got a plan, and his mind is clearly perfectly tuned to his opponents. Teru is definitely living up to his rank.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 19:00

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Elissimpark posted:

I haven't noticed, but are we talking prime Hakuho double stacks?

Don't know if it's that big but here's todays offering (not the best pic I know)

# ? Sep 19, 2021 19:18

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Not bad, but only a single stack. This is the good stuff:

# ? Sep 19, 2021 19:26

Zedsdeadbaby: Jun 14, 2008; You have been called out, in the ways of old.

Each envelope is the equivalent of something like 300-600 dollars (the exact amount is hard to find, and varies in this range depending on where you search). Yokozunas make loving bank.

If a maegashira beats a yokozuna (this is specifically called kinboshi), in addition to the substantial winnings for that bout, there is a permanent pay-rise for the rest of his sumo career no matter what his rank is (as long as it's in makuuchi and juryo). I remember Harumafuji receiving a lot of criticism in his early yokozuna career cos he was losing to maegashiras left right & center for a while, and costing the sumo association money.

Zedsdeadbaby fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Sep 19, 2021

# ? Sep 19, 2021 21:20

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Zedsdeadbaby posted:

Each envelope is the equivalent of something like 300-600 dollars (the exact amount is hard to find, and varies in this range depending on where you search). Yokozunas make loving bank.

If a maegashira beats a yokozuna (this is specifically called kinboshi), in addition to the substantial winnings for that bout, there is a permanent pay-rise for the rest of his sumo career no matter what his rank is. I remember Harumafuji receiving a lot of criticism in his early yokozuna career cos he was losing to maegashiras left right & center for a while, and costing the sumo association money.

iirc each envelope is $300 immediately AND $300 placed into an account that will be paid to you when you retire.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 21:23

Fluffdaddy: Jan 3, 2009

Elissimpark posted:

Not bad, but only a single stack. This is the good stuff:

The Hakuho "I just hosed a guy up face" is that good poo poo

# ? Sep 19, 2021 21:37

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

The ritualized 'here's your fat stacks' for winning matches owns. The rare times when I get other people to watch sumo I'm doing the DiCaprio meme pointing and saying 'that's money!!'

# ? Sep 19, 2021 21:47

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Part of what's so cool about sumo is that there's all this ritual dignity stuff, but also you can just roundhouse slap a dude and also you get handed cash if you win sometimes. It's a wonderful mixture of sacred and profane.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 21:57

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Elissimpark posted:

Not bad, but only a single stack. This is the good stuff:

Maybe not but T-Fuj is gettin paid, son.

# ? Sep 19, 2021 22:08

Charles Gnarwin: Jul 31, 2014; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

The thing I�m enjoying so far about Teru as yokozuna is he still looks mortal, but he just so happens to be the largest, strongest mortal there is and nobody can beat him. Hakuho being a demigod seemed to beat people before the tachiai but everyone still thinks maybe they can pick of a kinboshi from the new guy.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 00:33

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

Are there fan clubs for the gyoji? The stern one who is often in red who does the mid-upper Maegashira is obviously the best but I like the old guy who does the first half of san'yaku too.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 02:08

Scythe: Jan 26, 2004

Everyone loves Kounosuke.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 02:11

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Yeah Konosuke is the poo poo, but I've liked the current Shikimori Inosuke since I started watching. He has a big serious face that really sets the tone for a high-rank bout.

edit: Does somebody have the link handy for that site that shows all the wrestlers, gyoji, tokoyama, and yobidashi from every stable each year? I wanna add it to the OP.

Kenning fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Sep 20, 2021

# ? Sep 20, 2021 03:12

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Shiroc posted:

Are there fan clubs for the gyoji? The stern one who is often in red who does the mid-upper Maegashira is obviously the best but I like the old guy who does the first half of san'yaku too.

Do you mean the smaller one with the shaved head, or the larger one who always looks like he got called in at the last minute to cover someone else's shift?

The first is Kimura Yodo, the second is Kimura Tamajiro.

Scythe posted:

Everyone loves Kounosuke.

Yodo supremacy.

Both are from Kokonoe-beya though, so maybe they just make cool gyoji there.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 03:24

Scythe: Jan 26, 2004

Kenning posted:

Yeah Konosuke is the poo poo, but I've liked the current Shikimori Inosuke since I started watching. He has a big serious face that really sets the tone for a high-rank bout.

edit: Does somebody have the link handy for that site that shows all the wrestlers, gyoji, tokoyama, and yobidashi from every stable each year? I wanna add it to the OP.

Do you mean this one?

# ? Sep 20, 2021 03:41

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

Elissimpark posted:

Do you mean the smaller one with the shaved head, or the larger one who always looks like he got called in at the last minute to cover someone else's shift?

The first is Kimura Yodo, the second is Kimura Tamajiro.

Yodo supremacy.

Both are from Kokonoe-beya though, so maybe they just make cool gyoji there.

This one

# ? Sep 20, 2021 03:57

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

Gyoji get the best outfits. :allears:

# ? Sep 20, 2021 04:05

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Shiroc posted:

This one

Yeah, Tamajiro.

Liquid Communism posted:

Gyoji get the best outfits.

Some of those get handed down from gyoji to gyoji too. Tamajiro has one that I happened to see in a photo from 40-50 years ago.

This one, I think:

# ? Sep 20, 2021 04:24

joem83: Oct 4, 2007; Sometimes, you have to shake it thrice.

I kinda glossed over all the tegata talk a while back, but I've been watching sumo with my 9 year old and we watched the rise of Terunofuji together. Is there some place that I can get an affordable reproduction of his tegata? I'd love to frame something for him. The Kaiju is his favorite.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: I'd take any sort of cool Terunofuji merch.

# ? Sep 20, 2021 04:30

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 22:26

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

joem83 posted:

I kinda glossed over all the tegata talk a while back, but I've been watching sumo with my 9 year old and we watched the rise of Terunofuji together. Is there some place that I can get an affordable reproduction of his tegata? I'd love to frame something for him. The Kaiju is his favorite.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: I'd take any sort of cool Terunofuji merch.

bigsumofan has got you for reproduction ones and a bunch of other stuff: https://bigsumofan.com/collections/products-for-sumo-fans/products/wrestler-handprints-and-signature-printed-tegata?variant=12925513826367

# ? Sep 20, 2021 04:36

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Sumo wrestling - huge men, massive hits, gigantic macarons

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