|
imo once their neck isn’t as extremely noodly it gets a lot easier to chill a bit
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 12:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 07:13 |
|
|
Enshoku posted:How long did it take you folks to stop worrying that every little thing you do could potentially break your newborn? I swear I don't go a day without worrying that I'm going to rock her into shaken baby syndrome, or fail to notice a blister that leads to encephalitis. Like 5 days for me. I was too tired to worry.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 13:05
|
|
|
Glad it seemed to happen pretty quickly for most people. I'm only a couple of weeks in, and I may be worrying more than is healthy.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 13:15
|
|
|
Enshoku posted:Glad it seemed to happen pretty quickly for most people. I'm only a couple of weeks in, and I may be worrying more than is healthy. It’s all new! It makes sense to have an adjustment period as you get used to what’s normal and what isn’t, especially regarding something you don’t want to mess up. Around 3 months, babies seem to get a lot more robust than little newborns and around 6 months they tend to get pretty hardy. Try and reflect around those times to see if you’re adjusting your own comfort level with their physical milestones. If you think your worry is outsized, reach out to a professional.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 14:19
|
|
|
Enshoku posted:Glad it seemed to happen pretty quickly for most people. I'm only a couple of weeks in, and I may be worrying more than is healthy. I'm just a dude so I can't speak firsthand regarding postpartum responses but you're allowed to seek antianxiety / depression treatment if your thoughts are interfering how you're functioning. My wife had legit postpartum psychosis after a week of no sleep because of anxiety and breastfeeding, and we had to go on antipsychotics. We switched to formula, and we unfortunately live in a world that's fairly formula shaming. But that was how we survived as a family, and I took over most night feeds so that mom could sleep. Edit: this post kind of rudely presumes you're the mother - dad's are also of course allowed to be anxious! And it's okay to treat that with meds and/or therapy. External Organs fucked around with this message at 14:29 on Sep 27, 2021 |
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 14:26
|
|
|
My first had constant ear infections from 4 months until he finally got tubes at 11 months or so. I was in constant crisis management with him, keeping track of all the medications and checking on fevers, just constant anxiety. Once the tubes were in, I think I finally hit that dgaf moment when I came to pick him up from daycare and he had a mouth full of wood chips. Probably around 14 months? Second kid started pulling weeds out of the patio cracks and stuffing them in his mouth as soon as he learned to crawl and I'm just like lol, not for eating buddy.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 14:52
|
|
|
We were definitely freaked out the first few months because of all those warnings that if a newborn has ANY symptoms of sickness, they have to be checked out immediately. We took him to the ER twice for things that turned out not to be a big deal. After around three or four months I did start relaxing.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 15:26
|
|
|
Even at 9 months, it varies between parents. I worry probably too much about some weird things. Like I’ll check the monitor probably too frequently to check she is still breathing, whereas my wife just isn’t concerned about it. I also get really focused on her rooms temperature, and my wife doesn’t care too much. With the face plant I mentioned a few days ago, once I read about the severity of nosebleeds, and a day passed without her acting funny, i stopped caring, but my wife still thinks we should take her in for a checkup.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 16:17
|
|
|
Post partum "daymares" are a real thing. I had them with my first one, but not my second. I blame the stress and severe lack of sleep I had with the first kid.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 19:04
|
|
|
I remember when our son was just a few days old and woke up in the middle of the night with his backside completely soaked in sweat. We didn’t have a thermometer at home yet and freaked out and called the nurses’ hotline, she reassured us he’s probably fine but never heard of infant night sweats. Within a few minutes we got a better look and smell and realized it wasn’t sweat at all, his diaper was just completely full and piss had leaked out the back.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 19:50
|
|
|
Something no one talks about: how easy it is to gain weight when you quit breastfeeding because you’re not burning all of those calories anymore 
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 20:04
|
|
|
Can a kid somehow never learn how to vomit? Our first one (now 4yo) always had a weak stomache and has vomited on lots of stuff. Our second never really vomited and rarely spit up. Now he's 18 months and the other day out of nowhere he all of a sudden started choking on nothing. After basically opening his jaw and digging around in his mouth we found that he had apparently vomited in his mouth then tried to suck it back down and choked on it??? What the heck kid, just throw up the vomit! Terrified he's going to get sick in the night and choke himself...
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 20:16
|
|
|
The kids dad came by yesterday at 3pm to hang out with the toddler for a bit, at 4:30 he was going to leave. I asked if he could stay a little longer so I could take a sauna because I’m stressed AF. He did a big dramatic sigh and slouched in the chair and said he guessed he could. Then he laid down on the couch and fukkin fell asleep while I was putting away dishes with the toddler. He said he was tired. To me, the person who has been dealing with two miserable RSV kids, who has been working my rear end off to be a good mom… He tells me that he is tired and that’s why he doesn’t want to stay. Well, I got to take a sauna because holy poo poo I couldn’t believe it. Since we have to quarantine for two weeks and I have zero help, he said he would be by in the morning. Big surprise, he didn’t show up. My attorney contacted me and whatever my husbands attorney did triggered a court date to be set up, so we get to take this to court and waste a bunch of money. I’m so done with all of this. E: one good thing that happened was I got a double stroller for free, so Ive been able to go on some nice long walks with the kids and the weather has been beautiful. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Sep 27, 2021 |
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 20:46
|
|
|
I’m just saying murder is an option here
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 21:15
|
|
|
BadSamaritan posted:I’m just saying murder is an option here I cannot fathom how the ex thinks. Just. gently caress, man you have 2 little kids. What are you even doing? 
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 21:35
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:Since we have to quarantine for two weeks and I have zero help, he said he would be by in the morning. Big surprise, he didn’t show up.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 21:47
|
|
|
My wife and I just fought over the phone because of the poop accidents my son is having. I vented and laid out all my anxiety about it having to deal with it multiple times daily, and my desire to put him in pull-ups for now. For right now she’s absolutely unwilling to listen as the oh crap! potty training book says that’s the worst thing you can do. This has been happening for weeks with zero improvement, even after giving him lots of fiber and even miralax at doctors orders. It turned into a fight when I said that since she’s been working late a bit lately I’ve been on the front lines in dealing with it more. She took that as, “I do more than you,” and got defensive. Now instead of addressing it she’s at a work dinner and says let’s talk about it later. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore because I said my piece and got shut down. Like, it’s my right to disagree with not putting him in pull-ups. All I’m asking for is to do something that makes it a little easier on the both of us, but until a long-term solution presents itself, I really need a short-term solution for my sanity. It doesn’t feel good to have what feels like a decree handed down that I shall not put my son in a pull-up to avoid wiping his rear end six times a night until I get him to the doctor.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 23:01
|
|
|
That's a super tough situation to be in. I always like to think that whenever I have childcare disagreements with my SO, we both want what we think is best for the family. So even though we disagree sometimes we are always trying to do the right thing. That said I've never had success sticking to strict guidance from parenting books. That's how how my SO and I roll though. Tons of people do have great success with parenting training guides. Also tins of parents don't listen to them at all and do fine.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 23:42
|
|
|
That sucks man. The oh crap book does say everything is *guidance* though. Kids aren’t one size fit all, for sure. Hopefully you can have a calm conversation later on and address your concerns.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2021 23:50
|
|
|
External Organs posted:My wife had legit postpartum psychosis after a week of no sleep because of anxiety and breastfeeding, and we had to go on antipsychotics. We switched to formula, and we unfortunately live in a world that's fairly formula shaming. But that was how we survived as a family, and I took over most night feeds so that mom could sleep. I think this is an important point that bears repeating every 20 pages or so. The "breast is best" movement started off as a way to help low income mothers better bond with thirt their children, but over the last 30 years it's been hijacked by the crunchy granola yoga moms and just absolutely militarized/weaponized as the spearhead of motherhood as a culture (war). I'm throwing this a little out of proportion, but not much I think. Breast feeding is one step too far for a lot of moms, and it Hadlock fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Sep 28, 2021 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:06
|
|
|
The country I'm living in has downgraded Covid from a "societal critical epidemic" to a "monitored contagious disease", so all restrictions have been lifted, meaning I have to go back to the office, and my 10 month old has now started daycare. In the past two weeks, while picking her up, other parents have been introducing themselves, and they pretty quickly ask if my kid is a boy or girl, And every time after saying it's a girl, within a few sentences they will mention something about her becoming a teenager before I know it, and how I will need to lock her in her room or something until she's 30 lololol. Mind you that many of these people have young boys they're picking up, so I guess they are just assuming their own kids will inevitably become sexual predators in a few years? I find the whole thing pretty weird and gross, especially that it's just assumed I think this way, too. It just strikes me as super misogynistic and controlling. I've obviously seen this attitude in like lovely 80s sitcoms or whatever, and I assumed crazy rear end in a top hat right-wing types would be like this, but I didn't think it was an actual common thing. First off, until they brought it up, I had literally not thought about my future teenage daughter dating at all. And second, now that I have thought about it, I hope she enjoys all of the fun human things that humans do. The world is going to be poo poo enough for her. I'll try to prepare her as best I can so she makes good decisions about partners and being safe, just like I will do my best to teach her how to swim while trying to make sure she understands the dangers of being in water. And then I assume she's going to do what teenagers have been doing for millennia. Am I the weird one?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:07
|
|
|
Hadlock posted:I think this is an important point that bears repeating every 20 pages or so. The "breast is best" movement started off as a way to help low income mothers better bond with thirt their children, but over the last 30 years it's been hijacked by the crunchy granola yoga moms and just absolutely militarized/weaponized as the spearhead of motherhood as a culture (war). I'm throwing this a little out of proportion, but not much I think. I couldn't have put it any better myself. My only problem with formula was how drat expensive it was but looking back on it, that was just training me for the rest of this kid's life.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:11
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:My wife and I just fought over the phone because of the poop accidents my son is having. I vented and laid out all my anxiety about it having to deal with it multiple times daily, and my desire to put him in pull-ups for now. For right now she’s absolutely unwilling to listen as the oh crap! potty training book says that’s the worst thing you can do. This has been happening for weeks with zero improvement, even after giving him lots of fiber and even miralax at doctors orders. It turned into a fight when I said that since she’s been working late a bit lately I’ve been on the front lines in dealing with it more. She took that as, “I do more than you,” and got defensive. Now instead of addressing it she’s at a work dinner and says let’s talk about it later. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore because I said my piece and got shut down. My kid potty trained for peeing pretty much immediately and then pooped in pull ups until she could go get her own pull up and put it on and then poop in it and demand to be wiped. I'd do that for a million years before I cleaned her poo poo out of her clothes or whatever though.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:12
|
|
|
It might just be daycare equivalent of "man this weather gets hotter every year" smalltalk. There might be a hint of institutionalized gender norms. Tell them you're gonna enroll your daughter in toddler self defense class and ask them if they have any suggestions for local classes
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:12
|
|
|
Inferior Third Season posted:The country I'm living in has downgraded Covid from a "societal critical epidemic" to a "monitored contagious disease", so all restrictions have been lifted, meaning I have to go back to the office, and my 10 month old has now started daycare. No. People just get caught up in this herd mentality—I don’t think they necessarily mean to imply certain things, they just say them and don’t really look into the deeper meaning. When we had our daughter all our friends and family that had daughters (and some without daughters or any children at all) told me how different it was going to be, raising a girl. poo poo, lots of them are women telling me this stuff. It’s all the same to me, I’m not gonna treat her differently from her brother because she’s a girl, she will get the same opportunities he gets as long as it’s in my power and ability to provide those opportunities. extravadanza posted:That's a super tough situation to be in. I always like to think that whenever I have childcare disagreements with my SO, we both want what we think is best for the family. So even though we disagree sometimes we are always trying to do the right thing. That said I've never had success sticking to strict guidance from parenting books. That's how how my SO and I roll though. Tons of people do have great success with parenting training guides. Also tins of parents don't listen to them at all and do fine. nwin posted:That sucks man. The oh crap book does say everything is *guidance* though. Kids aren’t one size fit all, for sure. Hopefully you can have a calm conversation later on and address your concerns. I’m more disillusioned with that book than I started out. It worked at first and it was nice, but the book doesn’t seem to have answers for regressions or medical problems potty-wise other than, “Suck it up, I don’t know how long you’ll have to wait it out and it’ll suck all the balls, but wait it out and suck all those balls. And whatever you do, absolutely do not make it easier on yourself in any way by putting them back in pull-ups even for a short time. Also gently caress you.”
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:17
|
|
|
Renegret posted:I couldn't have put it any better myself. I guess I'm (very) lucky I don't need to worry about the cost of formula, but comparing it against the financial/time cost of going to a psychiatrist + getting meds, or paying for kids soccer or their first car + insurance, or as a fraction of (probably?) College, or heck even diapers and wipes it's not a lot. We spent about the equivalent of a big screen tv worth of money on formula over six months. Expensive? Sure. Did I have to sell the car to pay for it? No
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:17
|
|
|
Hadlock posted:I guess I'm (very) lucky I don't need to worry about the cost of formula, but comparing it against the financial/time cost of going to a psychiatrist + getting meds, or paying for kids soccer or their first car + insurance, or as a fraction of (probably?) College, or heck even diapers and wipes it's not a lot. We spent about the equivalent of a big screen tv worth of money on formula over six months. Expensive? Sure. Did I have to sell the car to pay for it? No The problem was my wife was out of work and we were already running in the red budget wise. We couldn't even afford rent. Then suddenly she didn't produce any milk and we had to switch to formula, and of course he needed the expensive kind on top of it. It all worked out in the end of course. Kiddo didn't turn into a horrible mutant from not getting boob milk and I really enjoyed being able to share primary parenting responsibilities. Honestly I think it made me a better father for it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 00:52
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:I’m more disillusioned with that book than I started out. It worked at first and it was nice, but the book doesn’t seem to have answers for regressions or medical problems potty-wise other than, “Suck it up, I don’t know how long you’ll have to wait it out and it’ll suck all the balls, but wait it out and suck all those balls. And whatever you do, absolutely do not make it easier on yourself in any way by putting them back in pull-ups even for a short time. Also gently caress you.” If you Google ‘early potty training constipation’ you’ll find no shortage of doctors claiming the methods in that book can lead to constipation or worse issues. I don’t think it happens in every case, but it’s definitely a possibility. Maybe your wife can join you in doing some research, so that she can see there’s more to potty training than the fear-mongering “if this method doesn’t work then just try harder, you only get one chance to reset” methods of the book. Alternatively, can you get in to a doctor in the near future?
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 02:19
|
|
|
Breastfeeding has a price. It takes time, keeps families from splitting up feeding duties, and can cause all sorts of effects on the boob-haver like mental fogginess, vaginal dryness, and fatigue. Yes formula adds up, but sometimes money is the cheapest way to pay for something. Mrs Pony is a pediatric dietitian who has had to repeatedly reassure people who think they are failures thanks to "breast is best" evangelism. Thankfully it seems that "fed is best" is really taking root now, although it will probably be a bit before it really penetrates the popular consciousness. Now mass market toddler formula... that's some total horseshit. Nestle needs to gently caress right off but they've got their hooks in deep with certain communities.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 02:34
|
|
|
in_cahoots posted:If you Google ‘early potty training constipation’ you’ll find no shortage of doctors claiming the methods in that book can lead to constipation or worse issues. I don’t think it happens in every case, but it’s definitely a possibility. Maybe your wife can join you in doing some research, so that she can see there’s more to potty training than the fear-mongering “if this method doesn’t work then just try harder, you only get one chance to reset” methods of the book. Alternatively, can you get in to a doctor in the near future? I got him into the doctor tomorrow morning, so we will get to the…uh…bottom of it. My wife and I talked about it after she came back from her client dinner and all is well but now I’m reluctant to bring that part up for tonight. I told her I got him in to the doctor and she was glad for that, so I’ll just take him and then whatever comes out of that, if it’s relevant to early PT constipation, I’ll use it as the context to bring it up and make the doctor the scapegoat. I’m actually excited to be taking him to the doctor for once, in a roundabout way—I’m ready to work toward some kind of solution for this. But, I also know that if miralax in combination with high fiber foods didn’t improve his bowel movement issues, I’m not sure what else would? Shifty Pony posted:Now mass market toddler formula... that's some total horseshit. Nestle needs to gently caress right off but they've got their hooks in deep with certain communities. I saw some of that at the store today while getting more formula for the little one, it was enfamil and marketed as a “toddler health drink” and I just though, “Welp, that’s some bullshit…” Unfortunately they had plenty of that but no soy-based Similac left, so I had to get pre-mixed soy-and-cows-milk-free formula, which has its own virtues by not making me mix it, I guess. But to your point I’m glad I can help out so my wife can get some rest since baby girl is waking up more than once a night lately and she’s constantly tired. life is killing me fucked around with this message at 02:55 on Sep 28, 2021 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 02:48
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:if miralax in combination with high fiber foods didn’t improve his bowel movement issues, I’m not sure what else would? I’m not a doctor, but from what I’ve read miralax may only loosen up the stool near the anus, not anything impacted further up. Once you clear it all out and maybe resolve the power struggle issues the Miralax may be able to do its magic. Hopefully the doctor will be able to get you some better answers!
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 03:56
|
|
|
Shifty Pony posted:Breastfeeding has a price. It takes time, keeps families from splitting up feeding duties, and can cause all sorts of effects on the boob-haver like mental fogginess, vaginal dryness, and fatigue. When I went back to work with my first, it felt very stressful trying to pump enough and keep my supply up, and I had a job that was extremely understanding and I wasn’t being shoved into a literal coat closet with my manager checking the clock outside. Breastfeeding in the context of the US’s maternity leave policies is particularly rough. Most women are back to work while the baby is getting all of their nutrition from milk and it’s an added pressure to an already difficult transition. This time around I’m way more willing to supplement with formula but I’m pretty resentful of how a lot of the ‘breast is best’ advocates go “just pump! it’s your right!” while ignoring real, structural difficulties around working.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 07:19
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:I got him into the doctor tomorrow morning, so we will get to the…uh…bottom of it. Glad to hear you guys are still somewhat getting along and work towards a constructive solution. I love parenting guide books. Most of them have some valuable ideas that you can apply, even if the "howto" part doesn't fit your own everyday situation. Whether it's about food, potty training or psychology ("how to make your toddler a genius using the 5 simple tricks"), most are not idiotic through and through. But it is a mistake to take any of them too seriously. I think the key part is that any parenting book's "howto" or rules should go out the window as soon as you encounter a medical issue. Most of those books make that pretty clear themselves, but I haven't read Oh Crap specifically.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 07:49
|
|
|
His Divine Shadow posted:We'll have to see where it goes, I am not even sure what medication it was. But on monday we're having a meeting with their teachers and assistants to see what they got to say, then they'll write reports for the doctor who has to make a plan. Last night we had a meeting with their main teacher and assistants. We found out they are not in the same class as the other first graders, it wasn't working out and was too distracting. So they have their own classroom where only they are with a teacher and their assistants, they've been trying that the last three weeks they said and so far it has worked a lot better. They both need more individual attention and the ability to take things one at a time whereas in the main class they focus on more things at once. They explained a lot of the pedagogy-stuff they where using and also showed they had gotten them things like special maths books that allowed them to focus on smaller portions at a time. Overall though they said the boys are doing quite well with this approach, they are learning new things and they are having rather intensive learning sessions, because they have three adults to two kids they think they are even learning at a faster pace than the regular kids in many instances. Reading is coming a long well and they demonstrated many clever tricks for learning to read faster. We're still gonna try out medication however. But I am really liking what I am seeing, they are thinking of everything from making it fun to learn and also to learn in such a way that they feel they are learning and that their confidence in their abilities gets to grow. Everything feels so high quality. Being in a regular class and unable to keep up would only hurt their confidence and make learning a chore by comparison. And since the boys do have long days (7-16:30 basically, though school is 9-13 only) and their learning is quite intensive when it happens, they won't be getting any homework for a good while yet. It's important the teacher said that they first get the knowledge & confidence to know they can handle it. It's no fun to get homework you can't do and feel bad about and sets a bad precedent. A bit rambly but it was a lot of info to take in... But things are looking up, and I know the boys haven't yet once said they didn't want to go to school, they did get tired of preschool though I remember. Edit: Looks like it's Ritalin they're getting. His Divine Shadow fucked around with this message at 12:44 on Sep 28, 2021 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 08:39
|
|
|
For anyone with concerns over the quality of formula versus price, I'd strongly recommend buying the target generics. They make generic formula under their 'up and up' brand for about 33 percent less than the various name brand blends, with pretty much the exact same ingredient ratios as similac pro advantage, neuropro gentlease, similac pro sensitive, etc. It's nice to get 50 percent more bang for your buck. edit - Does anyone have good book recommendations for newborns? As a recommendation of my own for pregnancy, the mayo clinic's guide is very good, outside of the nutrition sections which have only aged passably in the last 10 years since the book was published Enshoku fucked around with this message at 10:54 on Sep 28, 2021 |
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 10:52
|
|
|
Fan loving tastic. Last week 4yo had to stay home 2 days because of a fever and cough. Cough from a non-covid cold, and fever we now suspect from the vaccines she got. Today, 16mo gets to stay home because he's got pink eye. Got him some antibiotic eye drops yesterday for his right eye... annnnnd he wakes up this morning with crust in both his eyes. So now we have to call the dr to see if the bottle we have is enough for both eyes, or if we need a refill, or if we need to get him re-diagnosed because I don't know if day care is going to put it in both eyes without the Rx explicitly saying so.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 12:13
|
|
|
Can never be just one. We finally got the antibiotic for our baby girl, so in the middle of trying to get her back on the up-and-up, toddler came in this morning before his light turned green and just crawled into our bed, then started coughing, a wet cough. Just excellent. Only upside is he’s going to the doc anyway so I’ll have them test instead of use a home test, but boy howdy having him home right after he goes back to five day is not something we need right now
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 13:21
|
|
|
I think I still have a bottle of that stuff from the older boy in the medicine box. You'll probably have enough for both eyes. Our number finally came up for HFM. Toddler dodged it twice in his previous daycare, but the baby wasn't so lucky. RIP my work week. At least my manager is sympathetic.
|
|
#
?
Sep 28, 2021 15:13
|
|
|
Checking in to the RSV crew and boy is it awful.
|
|
#
?
Sep 29, 2021 02:41
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 07:13 |
|
|
Can we get an RSV gang tag… Toddler’s fever is under control but I had to bring my baby in today because his fever got high, his cough is terrible, and he’s so stuffy is hard for him to nurse. Currently on the couch with him because I can’t lay him down without triggering a coughing fit. I’m so tired but I doubt I will sleep much tonight.
|
|
#
?
Sep 29, 2021 03:15
|
|