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Wowzers.quote:“I was a Captain I think I know what I’m talking about.”  There's a joke out there about the most dangerous things you can hear an officer say, going something like O-1: "I have an idea..." O-2 "In my experience" O-3: "Trust me, I know what I'm talking about" O-4: Nothing because they are perfect in every way O-5: "I have an idea..."
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Oct 1, 2021 05:11
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 12:35 |
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O-6: "I have a tee time."
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Oct 1, 2021 05:35
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O-9: "I have a tee time with the COO of Lockheed-Martin"
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Oct 1, 2021 05:43
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pantslesswithwolves posted:So there's stolen valor, and then there's...this. https://twitter.com/dyllyp/status/1443767058689236997 Now that is a new eggcorn.
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Oct 1, 2021 10:27
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yeah that's some solid bone apple tea poo poo
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Oct 1, 2021 10:34
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Did anyone else ever meet functionally illiterate people in the military? I always wondering how they got past the asvab. The two that stand out was a retired chief I had as a patient and a BM2 and BM1 I worked under when I was undes. The chief at least was probably *technically* esl but clearly just not very bright, like he couldn’t understand the concept of second order effects. Like he couldn’t grasp the concept that his kidney failure was caused by his diet, because his blood glucose was what caused an AKI. The fact his diet caused him to have diabetes was and will forever be unconnected. The BMs on the other hand were younger. One was really good with people and hand on stuff but had trouble reading any slightly uncommon words, like he must have been really failed by his education. He probably would have had a normal level, he wasn’t unusually slow or anything. The BM2 though was more actively ignorant even though he could read, it was more of like a numeric illiteracy, like he couldn’t understand things like fractions or parse out basic logic but was supremely confident everyone else was just wrong. I have no idea how either got as far as they did.
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Oct 1, 2021 12:43
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:Did anyone else ever meet functionally illiterate people in the military? I always wondering how they got past the asvab. The two that stand out was a retired chief I had as a patient and a BM2 and BM1 I worked under when I was undes. I've run across one or two, both were honestly great dudes. I'm pretty sure they joined during the surge when they were letting anyone in, from what I gathered talking to them, they didn't really have access to a good education or any kind of real literacy efforts growing up. One of them was taking adult education classes to try and catch up, I hope both of them are doing good now.
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Oct 1, 2021 13:16
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There's a type of dyslexia where you can read words without any problem but numbers get all jumbled up and are difficult to process. Semi-close family member has it. Hand them War and Peace and they'll be fine. Show them the total on a cash register and they have to stop and read every single number individually, temporarily memorizing them, then specifically place them in order in their head before understanding what value is being displayed.
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Oct 1, 2021 13:17
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Dyscalculia, which sounds like the name of a vampire
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Oct 1, 2021 13:24
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:Did anyone else ever meet functionally illiterate people in the military? I always wondering how they got past the asvab. The two that stand out was a retired chief I had as a patient and a BM2 and BM1 I worked under when I was undes. Illiterate? No. In a senior leadership position with a mental disability of some kind? Absolutely. Still seething 12 years later. e: Although this reminds me of the single most impactful thing that I ever did in the military, wherein I was able to take advantage of having a Saturday duty day with my DIVO, unloaded verbally with both barrels behind a closed door, and woke up Monday morning to find said idiot on the mess decks. SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Oct 1, 2021 |
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Oct 1, 2021 13:25
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Scratch Monkey posted:Dyscalculia, which sounds like the name of a vampire That's the Count's mathematically challenged cousin.
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Oct 1, 2021 13:26
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:One was really good with people and hand on stuff but had trouble reading any slightly uncommon words, We had someone that was actually kind of the opposite of that in tech school Phase I. She would crush the weird, long, complex medical words first try but also once got her rear end handed to her by “the”. She was also kind of good with people, she was really small and kind of cute and her last name was also something cute and froufrou but she had an absolutely insane case of main character syndrome so it was petty hard for her to push her advantages over any sort of extended length of time. Someone else did start skimming through the packet of a new section we started, stopped, scrunched his face, and then loudly asked in the middle of class what “tet anus” is. Everyone stopped to look at him and he just loudly asks again which results in the instructors and some classmates to point to what page he was on. Tetanus people it was tetanus.
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Oct 1, 2021 13:33
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One of my soldiers had a severe brain injury before joining and while he could still read and write, expecting him to do anything beyond exactly what he was told was impossible. Which is great when you’re his team leader in garrison. Frustrating and sometimes dangerous during field exercises and during firefights though. He required a lot of babysitting in those situations.
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Oct 1, 2021 13:34
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Believe it or not, we had a guy who got through Basic and Tech School in Avionics who had major difficulty with reading. Had to help him with reading TOs because he couldn't understand half the words. Other than that, he was a good guy and generally did what he was told.
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Oct 1, 2021 13:49
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Cenen posted:We had someone that was actually kind of the opposite of that in tech school Phase I. She would crush the weird, long, complex medical words first try but also once got her rear end handed to her by “the”. She was also kind of good with people, she was really small and kind of cute and her last name was also something cute and froufrou but she had an absolutely insane case of main character syndrome so it was petty hard for her to push her advantages over any sort of extended length of time. Whats Main Character Syndrome?
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Oct 1, 2021 14:08
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boop the snoot posted:One of my soldiers had a severe brain injury before joining Where they that hard up for recruits?
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Oct 1, 2021 14:34
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Wrr posted:Whats Main Character Syndrome? Think about the people you've known who go "I'm the most important person in any interaction". They've decided they're the main character of reality, why shouldn't everyone else just get out of their way? Narcissists, basically.
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Oct 1, 2021 14:35
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Scratch Monkey posted:Where they that hard up for recruits? I joined around the same time he did and it was right before the 2010 Afghanistan surge. They just wanted bodies for the meat grinder ahead.
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Oct 1, 2021 14:39
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Yeah my wife’s cousin joined in 2012 or so on an asvab waiver for no score. Has tested since though. They (striker unit based out of Hawaii) left him behind for their tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. He was put on recruiter detail in 2020 but left it early for unexplained reasons. He did manage to reenlist.
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Oct 1, 2021 15:49
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pantslesswithwolves posted:So there's stolen valor, and then there's...this. But did she lie about Mypay?
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Oct 1, 2021 15:57
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My company had a platoon sergeant whose paperwork was so bad that they thought he had a severe undiagnosed TBI and ordered him to get evaluated at the TBI clinic. Turns out no TBI, and the only thing he would ever say about it was "no child left behind hooah". Was an ASVAB waiver so I guess it checks out. Had a guy in MEPS that got signed up, passed the ASVAB to some degree and as we were getting our travel packets for basic, the MEPS guy found out he only spoke a dozen words of English, so they just changed his orders to some place that gives you a crash course in English. I don't know how he passed, he mustve just absolutely crushed the math portion.
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Oct 1, 2021 16:13
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I was too smart for the military but too dumb to do anything else. Beating a dead drum but who is the real idiot if not me?
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Oct 1, 2021 16:20
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boop the snoot posted:I was too smart for the military but too dumb to do anything else. In truth, every one of us eligible for a DD-214 was the true idiots. The idiots in this thread are just the kings of idiocy.
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Oct 1, 2021 16:24
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I’ve had plenty of illiterate deckhands and ABs in the merchant marine. I can never figure out how they do… anything.
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Oct 1, 2021 16:33
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Wingnut Ninja posted:Wowzers. I'll paraphrase, as the book is in a box here... somewhere. "As the our own mortar rounds crept towards our position, I remembered a joke Shotgun told me once. Officers are like alligators. As Lieutenants, you take pity on them. Take them under your wing. Make sure they're fed and pointed in the right direction. When they make Captain, you keep them at arms reach. They're just getting familiar with you and this is when they are at their most dangerous. At Major, you start hunting them for sport. That made me smile. I was only a Captain." This is precipitated by the Major loading four large mortars on a motorized barge to provide fire support. Against the advice of the barge crew, he takes it into shallow water and gets it stuck on the muddy bank. Against the advice of the mortar crews, he decides firing the mortars will dislodge the barge. While this kinda works, the tubes are pointed at his own guys. Sgt. Shotgun then goes tearing rear end towards the barge with an M79, firing a CAR-15 into the air as a warning. The crew sees him and jumps into the water. The Major is not that smart. madeintaipei fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Oct 1, 2021 |
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Oct 1, 2021 16:53
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FrozenVent posted:I’ve had plenty of illiterate deckhands and ABs in the merchant marine. I can never figure out how they do… anything. Lance Henriksen was in the navy and I think even the merchant marine and he was illiterate until he was 30. Maybe it's something about the sea that attracts people who can't read?
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Oct 1, 2021 16:59
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I've failed everywhere else at life, guess I'll try my hand at the merchant marine.
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Oct 1, 2021 17:18
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The dorm chief in my basic flight failed the ASVAB, or couldn’t achieve AF qualifying scores, twice. I found a note he wrote our TI one time while cleaning and he was writing at a 1st grade level. He’s a security guy in the guard so that tracks.
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Oct 1, 2021 17:26
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GD_American posted:I kinda wonder how they woulda handled it if we were still in 2006-style “every body necessary” mode. 
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Oct 1, 2021 17:36
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In my technical school was a guy who used to be air force active duty. The course we were both in was basically exactly what he was supposed to have been doing in the air force. He failed out of the course and never got his certification. He was big on his identity as a redneck, yet when a bunch of us from the course went target shooting once he couldn't hit almost anything. He got drunk and tried to shoot some ducks that were flying by. I wasn't comfortable with this at the time, but in retrospect I should have been terrified Last I knew he makes fire hydrants
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Oct 1, 2021 17:45
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:Did anyone else ever meet functionally illiterate people in the military? I always wondering how they got past the asvab. The two that stand out was a retired chief I had as a patient and a BM2 and BM1 I worked under when I was undes. Yes, often. I have known 4 (yes, 4) ASVAB waivers. Ironically, they weren't as bad as some others. I have known at least a dozen people that couldn't read/write. I'm not talking about missing a comma or mispelling the occasional word. I'm talking about people who type up something and every last word has that squiggly red line under it. I had a team chief that was unable to turn in ANY paperwork without at least 3 errors. I have had no less than 3 platoon Sgts have to dictate to someone whenever something needed to be written. The "scribe" still had to correct for grammar and syntax. Most of them ended up being "punished" with jobs that involve not being around people, yet strangely required lots of paperwork/writing. Whenever one of these guys (it was always men, why is that?) would get assigned to their new position they would immediately screw up everything and a second person would be assigned to "assist". The illiterate guys also were unable to qualify without extreme help/measures, so I am sure there is something else with these guys like TBI or other things. As for passing the ASVAB? I'm running with dumb luck. At least 3 of them confided in me that every multiple choice test is answered randomly, with required training/tests being "brute forced" over how many iterations needed to get the correct answers. They never actually read anything, just tracked which options were marked as wrong.
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Oct 1, 2021 17:52
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I don’t recall so many people like that when I was actually in, but our safety guy is a former marine (retired) and his emails have to be constant font of rage for any English teacher within a hundred miles. He’ll get a word right exactly once, then gently caress it up a ton in his weekly emails…but each time is different. He’s also a fan of random capitalization, punctuation, and extra apostrophes thrown in here and there for good measure. The man is still mentally a marine, to the point where my supervisor and coworkers could barely follow when he started using active-duty metaphors (I actually heard him use “lift and shift fire” for whatever stupid reason at one point while talking to them). He also didn’t want to wear a mask, even while working in an HVAC system known to have some kind of mold growing in it. If there were ever a context to wear one (aside from, y’know, a loving pandemic), this would be it. Maybe a cloth mask doesn’t do much vs mold spores, but maybe he should’ve brought a loving respirator since he knew that’s exactly what he was going to be working on when he came to our office? His “solution” was to cut up some old AC filters and place them on the output vents, rather than do literally anything about the mold already growing in the system. It’s just going to take hold there as well and blow nearly directly on to people’s faces while they’re at the office, nbd 
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Oct 1, 2021 18:05
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:In my technical school was a guy who used to be air force active duty. The course we were both in was basically exactly what he was supposed to have been doing in the air force. He failed out of the course and never got his certification.
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Oct 1, 2021 18:08
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not caring here posted:My company had a platoon sergeant whose paperwork was so bad that they thought he had a severe undiagnosed TBI and ordered him to get evaluated at the TBI clinic. Turns out no TBI, and the only thing he would ever say about it was "no child left behind hooah". Was an ASVAB waiver so I guess it checks out. We had a kid in basic who somehow knew enough English to pass the asvab, and got through p days alright, then made it 2 days in actual basic before getting sent to ESL classes. He was Chinese American, born in the states, but spoke literally zero english.
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Oct 1, 2021 18:26
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Watched an E7 start typing an email out to my unit with "Good Mononing Everyone" just this mononing. Edit: That's a joke, btw. I know it's supposed to be "good mourning" 2nd edit: that's not a joke, my unit sucks. Gorilla Radio fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Oct 2, 2021 |
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Oct 1, 2021 21:56
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Oct 1, 2021 22:20
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Yeah, Cs-137 and Co-60 sources are not things to be trifled with. https://www.wired.com/2011/10/ff-radioactivecargo/ Abandoned RTGs with Sr-90 were discovered by some woodcutters who used them as heat sources, resulting in them getting Acute Radioation Syndrome. https://www.nti.org/analysis/articles/radiothermal-generators-containing-strontium-90-discovered-liya-georgia/ CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Oct 1, 2021 |
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Oct 1, 2021 22:27
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holy poo poo
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Oct 1, 2021 23:15
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"Someone he did not like." Yeah. I think that kinda understates things.
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Oct 1, 2021 23:17
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Couldn’t just run him over with your car, hmmmm?
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Oct 1, 2021 23:20
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