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flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




Yeah, it was a horrific accident that led to a lot of the OSHA regulations that govern movie sets today

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BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019

by Pragmatica

flavor.flv posted:

Yeah, it was a horrific accident that led to a lot of the OSHA regulations that govern movie sets today

Thanks, Kevin Smith

Pilchenstein
May 17, 2012

So your plan is for half of us to die?

Hot Rope Guy

OwlFancier posted:

I assume when the A wing crashed into the bridge the guy driving it died and his foot went on the accelerator and it just went off into the death star.
Maybe they just realised the Emperor's will needed sorting out :v:

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Casnorf posted:

are you making up a guy just to get mad at movies

I'm making up a guy to get mad at the sky


get on my level

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY
Feb 3, 2006

The Core feels like a big budget Mr Show sketch.

Casnorf
Jun 14, 2002

Never drive a car when you're a fish

FreudianSlippers posted:

I'm making up a guy to get mad at the sky


get on my level

ffffff i tip my cap

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY posted:

The Core feels like a big budget Mr Show sketch.

Stanley Tucci looked great in that movie.

Uhh, that's all the nice things I have to say about it.

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
I cannot remember the name of the drat movie now, it was some anime about vampires. But in this city, they lived with the humans instead of in hiding, and no one preyed on anyone (you could buy blood if you wanted from humans but that was seen as weird), because the monsters outside the city were the vampires' usual meals. So humans and vamps teamed up to beat demons, easy enough. Anyway, my IIMM was that the head council of vampires were asked by some humans to raise/turn their teenagers into vampires. The kids had been killed, sneaking out of the city for the tenth time (and this time they were actually under house arrest, because the group had been found poisoning someone in the hospital), and the council decided to do it, because it would give the kids another chance at life.

Okay fine, but now they had half a dozen eternal 14-16 year olds, who began to run amok even moreso since they had magic vampire powers. And none of them wanted to be vampires in the first place.

But the movie treated the elders like they were responsible and good for doing what they did, instead of letting the kids stay dead. That they had some regret things had turned out badly, but they couldn't punish the kids any more than making them do chores, like sweeping the city, because anything harsher would be child abuse. But somehow making them eternal teenagers wasn't abuse.

Yngwie Mangosteen
Aug 23, 2007
The Core is one of my favorite absolutely idiotic and terrible movies.

BaldDwarfOnPCP
Jun 26, 2019

by Pragmatica

Captain Monkey posted:

The Core is one of my favorite absolutely idiotic and terrible movies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG1RwE_x6Vg

If that doesn't grab you by the curly hairs, IDKWTF

Morpheus
Apr 18, 2008

My favourite little monsters

Casnorf posted:

are you making up a guy just to get mad at movies

Old timey 'science' is just making up a guy holding up the world then getting mad at him.

Angrymog
Jan 30, 2012

Really Madcats

The Greeks believed in a guy holding up the sky - Atlas.

Another pet peeve - why in the sort of post apocalypse that has people walking long distances, does no-one ever get some bicycles?

It's a game rather than a movie, but at least in The Last of Us Joel and Ellie got a horse.

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser

Angrymog posted:

why in the sort of post apocalypse that has people walking long distances, does no-one ever get some bicycles?

People absolutely use bikes in The Stand, and possibly Station Eleven, which people should read if they haven’t. Or wait for the tv show.

Casnorf
Jun 14, 2002

Never drive a car when you're a fish

Angrymog posted:

The Greeks believed in a guy holding up the sky - Atlas.

Did, uh, did you think anyone here didn't get that gag? Like you've made explicit the joke we were all making. Maybe I did miss something but isn't the point of the obliquity the humor derived from just avoiding saying the thing?

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007

Angrymog posted:

The Greeks believed in a guy holding up the sky - Atlas.

Another pet peeve - why in the sort of post apocalypse that has people walking long distances, does no-one ever get some bicycles?

It's a game rather than a movie, but at least in The Last of Us Joel and Ellie got a horse.

I can think of several rational explanations for why bikes might be scarce in a post-apocalyptic situation.

- No replacement parts. Riding on unmaintained roads or off-road, presumably skimping on maintenance, would make them break down faster, especially lightweight road bikes that are the most common in cities nowadays.
- Stolen. Working bicycles (or their parts) would be extremely valuable and hard to hide in that situation.
- Too conspicuous. Someone might not want to draw attention to themselves by sticking to the sort of roads and trails a bicycle can navigate, or be seen with such a valuable resource. Also, unless you have working bikes for everyone in your party, they don't do you much good even to carry things -- unlike a horse which could be used to carry baggage even if you didn't have a horse for everyone.

In filmmaking terms, adults riding bicycles just don't tend to look cool.

Imagined has a new favorite as of 17:31 on Oct 5, 2021

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




Bicycles are ubiquitous, easy to repair, and unless you've got some 5-figure dutch racing bike, you can swap in and out parts from pretty much any bike

And most important point that the original post didn't mention: They're quiet. When you're in a situation where making noise can attract the attention of a horde of thousands of flesh eating zombies, do you really want to be clip-clopping along on a ride made of snorting, stomping meat?

But yes, obviously it's because they don't look cool. They, at best, make you look european

Elissimpark
May 20, 2010

Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Imagined posted:

In filmmaking terms, adults riding bicycles just don't tend to look cool.

flavor.flv posted:

But yes, obviously it's because they don't look cool. They, at best, make you look european

Shut up, you look european.

Someone should make Mad Max, but this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bnAzaYTj9I

(yes, that is young Nicole Kidman)

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007
What percentage of homeless people nowadays do you see with bicycles? A few percent? Why do you think that is? There's your answer. Anybody try to buy a new bicycle since spring 2020? What if things were even worse, for longer?

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

Imagined posted:

In filmmaking terms, adults riding bicycles just don't tend to look cool.

Kermit the Frog would like a word with you.

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Two dozen warboys pedalling a tandem the size of a big rig, towing a flatbed trailer full of spare bike parts.

OutsideAngel
May 4, 2008

Imagined posted:

What percentage of homeless people nowadays do you see with bicycles? A few percent? Why do you think that is?

Because the police steal I mean "impound" them. Probably less of an issue in a zombie movie.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Better hope the apocalypse doesn't involve any broken glass.

thepopmonster
Feb 18, 2014


Alexa, show me "painfully Australian".

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007

OutsideAngel posted:

Because the police steal I mean "impound" them. Probably less of an issue in a zombie movie.

Oh? Other survivors wouldn't steal anything you have that might improve their chances of survival, if they can? Again, people steal bikes constantly now, and that's just for a little money. Imagine if it was for survival.

Incidentally, I think the same thing about people who stockpile firearms and other prepper supplies, i.e. past a certain point, they're just putting a big target on their backs, especially if they imagine they're going to lone wolf it out.

Imagined has a new favorite as of 19:32 on Oct 5, 2021

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

I feel like if the apocalypse happened then bicycles would be more common than people, you would be post bicycle scarcity.

Vidiot
Apr 4, 2011

Elissimpark posted:

Shut up, you look european.

Someone should make Mad Max, but this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bnAzaYTj9I

(yes, that is young Nicole Kidman)

Turbo Kid from 2015 heavily features post-apocalyptic bikes. Also, Michael Ironside.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFlZ6pVtnv0

Vidiot has a new favorite as of 19:59 on Oct 5, 2021

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007

OwlFancier posted:

I feel like if the apocalypse happened then bicycles would be more common than people, you would be post bicycle scarcity.

This was Wal-mart's bike area in May 2020, one month into the pandemic lockdown:

stringless
Dec 28, 2005

keyboard ⌨️​ :clint: cowboy

It's called Turbo Kid and it came out in 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFlZ6pVtnv0

/e: hell obviously it was an affectation of the 80s but they even did the title the same way (3:03 on BMX Bandits, 1:31 on Turbo Kid)

stringless has a new favorite as of 20:34 on Oct 5, 2021

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

Imagined posted:

This was Wal-mart's bike area in May 2020, one month into the pandemic lockdown:



do you think the bikes previously on those shelves disappeared into the ether forever?

Zero_Grade
Mar 18, 2004

Darktider 🖤🌊

~Neck Angels~

This is like the distilled essence of Ridiculous 80's Movie For Kids.

Also the closed captioning is good:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Imagined
Feb 2, 2007
Are you guys trolling me by being deliberately dense and pretending you don't understand my point, or what.

If bicycles suddenly became valuable tools of survival wanted desperately by everyone, AND production of new bikes shuts down, AND spare parts become scarce, AND the way they are used is rougher than usual, they will quickly become hard to find. I don't think any part of that sentence is either far-fetched or difficult to comprehend.

Imagined has a new favorite as of 21:18 on Oct 5, 2021

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

Imagined posted:

Are you guys trolling me by being deliberately dense and pretending you don't understand my point, or what.

If bicycles suddenly became valuable tools of survival wanted desperately by everyone, AND production of new bikes shuts down, AND spare parts become scarce, AND the way they are used is rougher than usual, they will quickly become hard to find. I don't think any part of that sentence is either far-fetched or difficult to comprehend.

you're kind of missing the "apocalypse" part of "post-apocalypse", hope this helps.

there are literally hundreds of millions of bicycles in the US alone. despite the pandemic and resulting supply chain issues, there are still more than 100 million bicycles being produced worldwide in 2021. bikes don't die, people don't eat bikes, if 9/10 or 4/5 or even 2/3 of the population dies or becomes zombies or whatever there is not going to be as bad of a bike shortage as you seem to think. it's not like bullets or food.

e: you're also vastly overestimating how difficult it is to repair and maintain a bike, even with lightweight hand tools you can toss in a small handbag or something. i changed my bike's chain and patched flats and stuff when i was ten years old with no experience and without the internet to look things up. like....have...have you actually ridden a bike in the past?

Rockman Reserve has a new favorite as of 21:27 on Oct 5, 2021

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


The real IIGM about Last of Us is that a girl born post apocalypse knows how to pop a clutch

somepartsareme
Mar 10, 2012

Diggle Hell is a Real
(Swingin') Place
No one rides bicycles in the apocalypse, there's too much bicycle traffic!

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Rockman Reserve posted:

you're kind of missing the "apocalypse" part of "post-apocalypse", hope this helps.

there are literally hundreds of millions of bicycles in the US alone. despite the pandemic and resulting supply chain issues, there are still more than 100 million bicycles being produced worldwide in 2021. bikes don't die, people don't eat bikes, if 9/10 or 4/5 or even 2/3 of the population dies or becomes zombies or whatever there is not going to be as bad of a bike shortage as you seem to think. it's not like bullets or food.

Bike parts break down, parts are not being manufactured anymore.

Someone is going to slit your throat for a working bike chain.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

Imagined posted:

This was Wal-mart's bike area in May 2020, one month into the pandemic lockdown:



Can't fool me that's the hula hoop section.

Rockman Reserve posted:

bikes don't die, people don't eat bikes

The zombies are bike eating zombies and also now bikes are sentient. Sorry that's how the apocalypse happened.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

Push El Burrito posted:

The zombies are bike eating zombies and also now bikes are sentient. Sorry that's how the apocalypse happened.

a honking squeak sounds more like a scream as the cursed undead sink their teeth into my novelty 1940's style rubber bike horn

A Worrying Warlock
Sep 21, 2009
Where I live, there are more bikes than people. Most of them are incredibly easy to maintain and it's nor uncommon to see bikes that work perfectly after decades of use.

Bikes would outlive cars. They would outlive trains, plains and most non-sailing boats. Bikes are forever.

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY
Feb 3, 2006

By the time you get to full on climate apocalypse, bicycles have probably been long since banned and dismantled for being communist or anti-capitalist.

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Ego Trip
Aug 28, 2012

A tenacious little mouse!


Sobatchja Morda posted:

Where I live, there are more bikes than people. Most of them are incredibly easy to maintain and it's nor uncommon to see bikes that work perfectly after decades of use.

Bikes would outlive cars. They would outlive trains, plains and most non-sailing boats. Bikes are forever.

Boats decay instantly if not constantly feed money and time.

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