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blight rhino posted:Hello Party People!, You should use urethra instead of dickhole. Please come to HR tomorrow at 6:00am for disciplinary action.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:01
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dk2m posted:Tech industry. Management knows that the software slaves are all millennials and attracting talent now needs to have some sort of bland corporate speak on diversity and force inconsequential poo poo like inclusive words EXCUSE YOU Software children Batterypowered7 posted:You should use urethra instead of dickhole. Please come to HR tomorrow at 6:00am for disciplinary action.  :fired:
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Oct 7, 2021 01:04
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dk2m posted:Today I was yelled at because I said “how are you guys doing?” in the beginning of a conference call and someone got upset and said “that’s not inclusive, you need to say how are you all instead” and my boss was on the call and set up a follow up with me to go over the inclusive word list for 30 minutes The gently caress? I've used "you guys" as you-plural for pretty much my entire life, including to address all-female groups and have never had an issue or anyone take offense. I also call everyone dude regardless of gender. I'm from NorCal originally so maybe it's a NorCal thing? I do tend towards "hey everyone" in written communications though. goatface posted:Go full regional dialect and gently caress 'em if they don't like it. I've been working on using inclusive local vocabulary like "yinz" and "jagoff" more often.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:04
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Batterypowered7 posted:You should use urethra instead of dickhole. Please come to HR tomorrow at 6:00am for disciplinary action. I’ve met some HR people I wouldn’t mind receiving some disciplinary action from.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:19
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chglcu posted:I’ve met some HR people I wouldn’t mind receiving some disciplinary action from. * HR visibly sweating 'cause they don't know who else to call in *
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Oct 7, 2021 01:22
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MA-Horus posted:Just use "team", or instead of "hey guys" it's "hey everyone" I have been specifically reprimanded by a person one step below CEO for using "team" as it is "too impersonal" when addressing groups of people. For that particular rear end in a top hat they just don't get copied on my email chains anymore, because while they're more senior than me they aren't in my department or line of reporting so geeeeeeet hosed when you don't know what I'm up to.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:25
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Barudak posted:I have been specifically reprimanded by a person one step below CEO for using "team" as it is "too impersonal" when addressing groups of people. Dear *Company Name* Family, Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart Sincerely, Barudak
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Oct 7, 2021 01:28
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Barudak posted:I have been specifically reprimanded by a person one step below CEO for using "team" as it is "too impersonal" when addressing groups of people. You should list everyone on the email by name like they're four and you're on loving Romper Room.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:35
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Queen Victorian posted:The gently caress? I've used "you guys" as you-plural for pretty much my entire life, including to address all-female groups and have never had an issue or anyone take offense. I also call everyone dude regardless of gender. I think both “guys” and “dudes” were used in one of my company’s inclusivity roadshows as examples of group identifiers that could be deemed problematic (for much the same reason why“Latino as gender neutral” could be considered tricky - using a male-coded word as default).
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Oct 7, 2021 01:45
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My Folk, It has come to my attention that some of you have not been working as hard as needed on our wonder project. I must remind all of you, it is not just our struggle to make this happen, but individually yours and my struggle to ensure a future for this corporation and its employees. Only by remaining focused on our one vision, one team, one goal can we hope to achieve the the lightning fast delivery time needed to surprise our competitors in the market. Remember, without this project as a platform there will be no room to expand our business further to ensure its health and sustainability as part of our "Millennium of Leadership" initiative. Sincerely, Barudak Minister of Corporate Communications "Work-life Balance Makes you Free"
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Oct 7, 2021 01:53
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MA-Horus posted:Just use "team", or instead of "hey guys" it's "hey everyone" Y'all is for the casual "hey here's an update" or "I have a request/question" emails. All y'all is for when someone hosed up and it's time to drop the hammer. At the office today, we pulled the big Surface tablet into our are and the boss put on Married With Children while we worked. Someone brought us cookies. It was a pretty good day.
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Oct 7, 2021 02:09
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To be fair if I get an email that starts with "Team," I immediately assume it's the CEO's personal blog that we can't unsubscribe from because that's what one of the Giant Billionaire Tech CEOs I used to work for did
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Oct 7, 2021 02:14
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As with all of this stuff, whether it's going in a progressive or conservative or whatever direction, maybe 10% of it is an honest attempts by someone to improve things (according to their definitions), and 90% of it is people wanting to seem smart or right, or to correct other people, or to be seen effecting change. As such, there is no point looking for pattern or meaning because it's not about consistency. And if everyone suddenly perfectly adopted tomorrow all the stuff that people are correcting today, then there would be a new set by lunchtime. So, briefly evaluate any new language requests that reach you - some of them are actually genuine improvements - but whether you adopt them or don't, certainly don't waste brainpower on trying to figure them out. The vast majority of the time, they are a social positioning tool.
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Oct 7, 2021 03:05
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Hey I just got one of those emails from the CEO too, about how important the next few months will be, and how he appreciates what we do. Not mentioned at all is how many yachts the shareholders will be getting from our insane work. Dumb poo poo at work: say you are scheduled 7am-3pm. Now, I work in delivery, so yeah, I might not get off on time every day. But our dispatch software adds on an extra 50 minutes at the end of every delivery and shift for...some reason. So our daily routes change by the minute, depending on what new priority orders come in, and contacting dispatchers directly leads to them saying they can't change anything because it's been on route for more than 30 minutes, so they can't take anything off. The only way to get off even close to on time is to contact the manager on staff and say hey, I can stay till 3:30 (maybe you just don't want to be a Not Team Player) but need to be done by then. Every. Single. Day. You need to contact the manager every day to say what time you can stay until, and your actual end time, per manager speak, is Fluid. You have to clock in and be on route within 10 minutes of your start time. But for end time, 3, 330, 5, it's all the same.
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Oct 7, 2021 03:11
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Lazyfire posted:I'd prefer to not have the cube farm become a Street Fighter arena at random. Post your Cubicle Fighter Middle Manager Attack 1: Confusion - Target is disoriented by flurry of contradictory email. Double damage to Subordinates. Attack 2: Blame Game - Redirect damage to subordinate. Ultimate move: Jump ship - move to adjacent company, all sustained damage is converted to earning power. Replacement takes all sustained damage.
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Oct 7, 2021 03:20
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My boss said he would have never hired me for my current position. Then he asked if I wanted to subcontract to him if he started his own business. For only $40/hr less than I make. He's going to get fired soon.
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Oct 7, 2021 03:33
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My body is wrecked from suddenly having to actually work for the first time in a month and a half. After this brew day I just have to clean up tomorrow, and I'll have time to actually get things more organized and hopefully explain to my bosses that we need to pump the brakes a little and make some more basic beer styles at first so I can lock in some numbers and maybe get multiple pitches from one batch of yeast. Edit: Thought you all might like this temperature reading from my first brew day the day before yesterday. 
Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Oct 7, 2021 |
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Oct 7, 2021 03:47
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Outrail posted:Post your Cubicle Fighter 25 Year Anniversary Guy Attack 1: Not my Problem - it’s not his g*ddang problem Attack 2: Solitaire - plays solitaire Defensive Buff: Arthritis glove - grants a +3 boost to wrist health, -8 charisma
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Oct 7, 2021 04:17
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Noice work. Outrail fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Oct 7, 2021 |
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Oct 7, 2021 04:46
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nuketulsa posted:A guy who is dumb as poo poo just became a VP because his name is "fun to say" Dick gently caress?
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Oct 7, 2021 05:07
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Barudak posted:I have been specifically reprimanded by a person one step below CEO for using "team" as it is "too impersonal" when addressing groups of people. I use All, "Team," is my 2nd choice fyi but yeah just cut those fuckers out & no need to worry
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Oct 7, 2021 05:12
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stump collector posted:I use All, You should up your game and use "you people" next time.
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Oct 7, 2021 05:59
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I used the word "unmanned" in regards to a service account. I was thinking about drones I guess.
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Oct 7, 2021 06:09
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I've noticed something about the company I'm working for now. We have this whole thing where we are all (company name)-ians and collectively we're the (Company Name) Nation. In the past I would have looked upon such a thing with derision and scorn and in fact when I started with this organization the first time I ever heard it I was like "get a load of this" but after a while, once I decided that I actually liked working here I started to like the whole Nation and -ians thing. At my last company I would have told them to shove it.
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Oct 7, 2021 10:06
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Local Weather posted:I've noticed something about the company I'm working for now. We have this whole thing where we are all (company name)-ians and collectively we're the (Company Name) Nation. In the past I would have looked upon such a thing with derision and scorn and in fact when I started with this organization the first time I ever heard it I was like "get a load of this" but after a while, once I decided that I actually liked working here I started to like the whole Nation and -ians thing. When we say drink the cool aid we don't mean it.
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Oct 7, 2021 10:30
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We Dildos at Dildo King Nation really believe in our company and what we stand for
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Oct 7, 2021 10:39
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I really wish people would not ask me important questions or my opinions on stuff when I'm in the middle of a brew day. This happens almost everywhere I've worked. It's also always when I'm in the middle of a real key step.
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Oct 7, 2021 11:32
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Local Weather posted:I've noticed something about the company I'm working for now. We have this whole thing where we are all (company name)-ians and collectively we're the (Company Name) Nation. In the past I would have looked upon such a thing with derision and scorn and in fact when I started with this organization the first time I ever heard it I was like "get a load of this" but after a while, once I decided that I actually liked working here I started to like the whole Nation and -ians thing. If the company name is Russia then I'm afraid you may have been recruited into espionage. Glad you're enjoying it!
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Oct 7, 2021 12:39
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Cowslips Warren posted:Hey I just got one of those emails from the CEO too, about how important the next few months will be, and how he appreciates what we do. Not mentioned at all is how many yachts the shareholders will be getting from our insane work. Why are you putting up with this poo poo if you have a CDL?
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Oct 7, 2021 12:52
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dk2m posted:25 Year Anniversary Guy Manager's Nephew Attack 1: I'll Tell My Uncle - manager sends reprimanding email to opponent. Attack 2: Undeserved Promotion - flying uppercut that launches opponent for an air combo. Immediately fills ultimate meter if it hits Ultimate: Friends from High School - Nephew's buddies join in for a massive combo.
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Oct 7, 2021 14:18
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It's odd sometimes how talented people in our IT dept are bad at basic communications. Had issue requiring a higher level team to change network settings. The person assisting was great up until he stopped responding to emails and phone calls. He had resolved the issue and could have let us known with a one line email but it stayed open for three extra weeks as he wouldn't email back or pick up his phone to the point where I thought he had left the company. Finally had to check in with his manager (not my first choice and I made sure to make it clear we appreciated the guy's help, but uh, did he go out on an unexpected medical leave?) and got a short e-mail "oh yeah that's totally fixed."
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Oct 7, 2021 15:12
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Agents are GO! posted:Why are you putting up with this poo poo if you have a CDL? Why does anyone put up with poo poo from work? I don't have a CDL, I work with small deliveries. We did have a driver get fired about mask policy: well, less mask policy (IE we need to wear them but no one loving does save a few, including me) and more a customer asked the driver to wear a mask when doing a delivery to a hospital, and the driver started screaming he knew his rights, this was all bullshit. Early in the pandemic, another driver wore a gas mask. A literal gas mask when doing deliveries. As the pandemic wore on, he decided Covid was a hoax and wouldn't wear anything, even after his hero Trump got the rona. "Fake news!"
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Oct 7, 2021 15:18
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Queen Victorian posted:The gently caress? I've used "you guys" as you-plural for pretty much my entire life, including to address all-female groups and have never had an issue or anyone take offense. I also call everyone dude regardless of gender. I'm from NorCal originally so maybe it's a NorCal thing? You've never known that anyone took offence, which is part of the problem. If I call everyone dude and someone of my team doesn't want to be called dude they might not be comfortable complaining about that. So I've just put someone in an uncomfortable situation for literally no reason at all.
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Oct 7, 2021 18:00
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dk2m posted:Today I was yelled at because I said “how are you guys doing?” in the beginning of a conference call and someone got upset and said “that’s not inclusive, you need to say how are you all instead” and my boss was on the call and set up a follow up with me to go over the inclusive word list for 30 minutes Sounds like you need to quit.
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Oct 7, 2021 18:30
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CaptainSarcastic posted:You should up your game and use "you people" next time.
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Oct 7, 2021 19:44
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all y'all you-uns
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Oct 7, 2021 21:25
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Escape From Noise posted:I really wish people would not ask me important questions or my opinions on stuff when I'm in the middle of a brew day. This happens almost everywhere I've worked. It's also always when I'm in the middle of a real key step. Don't answer the phone. Don't even take it out of your pocket. Don't even listen to messages, just call them back as soon as you've finished whatever the important thing is. It'll improve your life a lot. Similarly, I can't count the amount of times I've said to clients, tradies and foremen to their face 'Can I talk to you in five minutes? I need to make sure theses calculations are correct" Part of being an expert is making sure conditions let you do your thing right.
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Oct 7, 2021 21:30
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Jaguars! posted:Don't answer the phone. Don't even take it out of your pocket. Don't even listen to messages, just call them back as soon as you've finished whatever the important thing is. It'll improve your life a lot. Similarly, I can't count the amount of times I've said to clients, tradies and foremen to their face 'Can I talk to you in five minutes? I need to make sure theses calculations are correct" Part of being an expert is making sure conditions let you do your thing right. Nthing this. Any flak I've ever gotten for being unavailable, I've always successfully brushed aside with a similar explanation. The only times it hasn't worked for me were in situations where the mid-level manager felt they needed to micromanage my time to justify their salary and it was a good indicator that I should find the door anyways.
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Oct 7, 2021 22:03
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Jaguars! posted:Don't answer the phone. Don't even take it out of your pocket. Don't even listen to messages, just call them back as soon as you've finished whatever the important thing is. It'll improve your life a lot. Similarly, I can't count the amount of times I've said to clients, tradies and foremen to their face 'Can I talk to you in five minutes? I need to make sure theses calculations are correct" Part of being an expert is making sure conditions let you do your thing right. I mean, they come into the brewery and start asking me questions. It's not too awful but it's just one of those things.
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Oct 8, 2021 00:46
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Escape From Noise posted:I mean, they come into the brewery and start asking me questions. It's not too awful but it's just one of those things.
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Oct 8, 2021 01:26
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