Premier League Spooktober - The Cruyff Turn of the Screw

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Premier League Spooktober - The Cruyff Turn of the Screw

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vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

an_mutt posted:

Yeah this was basically what I was going for. Soucek would be the one signing who turns out to be useful and good; who would Newcastle's Kompany be? Who's the coolest obscure Football Manager wonderkid defender kicking around right now, Igor Diveev? Josko Gvardiol?

wasn't Kompany signed just before the Man City takeover? In that case it has to be Saint-Maximin because he's the only good player in the current squad

# ? Oct 8, 2021 22:28

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 04:47

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://twitter.com/MailSport/status/1446592520591486976?s=20

quote:

We have also learned that the �305million deal � led by Saudi�s �700billion Public Investment Fund (PIF) � was strongly resisted throughout by Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal and Tottenham, with Spurs said to be the chief agitator in lobbying the Premier League to deny the Saudis entry to the top flight.

# ? Oct 8, 2021 22:57

tetsuo: May 12, 2001; I am a shaman, magician

get saudi'd on, bitch

# ? Oct 8, 2021 23:00

paddyboat: Feb 20, 2013; Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

the sex ghost posted:

Is there anyone still in China who fancies a go in the prem

Hulk would go down an absolute treat on Tyneside

Fabio Can-navaro is suddenly available if you�re looking for an experienced and handsome manager.

# ? Oct 8, 2021 23:34

NinpoEspiritoSanto: Oct 22, 2013

Stay the gently caress away from Cantona

# ? Oct 8, 2021 23:55

brocked: Oct 25, 2005; All shall love me and despair!

vyelkin posted:

wasn't Kompany signed just before the Man City takeover? In that case it has to be Saint-Maximin because he's the only good player in the current squad

Haha, he'd be Elano, and Willock would be Kompany

# ? Oct 9, 2021 00:48

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Jose posted:

https://twitter.com/MailSport/status/1446592520591486976?s=20

Small time clubs smh

# ? Oct 9, 2021 00:52

pik_d: Feb 24, 2006; follow the white dove

TRP Post of the Month October 2021

NinpoEspiritoSanto posted:

Stay the gently caress away from Cantona

And Cancelo

# ? Oct 9, 2021 01:15

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Newcastle can poach all the lovely Arsenal players that Arsenal can�t sell tyvm

# ? Oct 9, 2021 01:23

Eau de MacGowan: May 12, 2009; BRASIL HEXA
2026 tá logo aí

Candre villas boas would be a good fit, he even loves driving in the desert

# ? Oct 9, 2021 02:28

tbp: Mar 1, 2008; DU WIRST NIEMALS ALLEINE MARSCHIEREN

Brendan Rodgers posted:

Who will be their Robinho?

that one brazilian guy that plays for flamengo and scores loads of goals and is like 25 and was in europe before but wasn't particularly good

# ? Oct 9, 2021 05:22

sticksy: May 26, 2004; Nap Ghost

Newcastle's signings should be imo:

code:


Allan Saint-Maximin (LW)         Bobby Duncan (FW)         Sergi Can�s (RW)


    Todd Cantwell (CM)          Sergio Canales (CM)        Emre Can (CM)   


Cancelo (LB)      Inigo Martinez (CB)    Dayot Upamecano (CB)    Reggie Cannon (RB)


                                GK: Ugurcan Cakir

Paolo di Canio for new manager, Assman would be Duncan Ferguson

e: Maican as reserve fullback

sticksy fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Oct 9, 2021

# ? Oct 9, 2021 08:43

belgend: Mar 6, 2008; me when The Club do another win

All the talk about China makes me think it's time to bring Big Fella back to the prem and Tyneside might be the way

# ? Oct 9, 2021 08:54

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

Taliban to take over Middlesbrough FC

THE new rulers of Afghanistan are to buy out Middlesbrough FC for �320 million, the Premier League has confirmed.

The ultraconservative Islamists said that the purchase was made out of a lifelong love for Middlesbrough among the Taliban, who regard legendary players like Alan Foggon and Bernie Slaven as inspirations in their drive to establish an uncompromisingly hardline theocratic regime.

Donna Sheridan, spokeswoman for the consortium that fronted the offer, said: �The Taliban have offered assurances that although women, including myself, will not be allowed inside the stadium, we will be allowed within 100 yards on match days.

�Furthermore, players can be assured that they will only suffer amputations after exceptionally poor performances, and that these will even help them avoid falling foul of the FA�s ridiculous VAR handball rules.�

Jubilant supporters celebrated in front of the stadium, waving banners in support of the Taliban. Once seen as the mortal enemy of the West they are now regarded as local heroes for putting money into a club languishing in the Championship.

Fan Tom Logan said: �You�re always going to get jealous cynics dragging politics into football, even on a day of unmitigated good news like this. Well, pardon me but I�m going to slaughter a goat and fire my machine gun in the air.�

# ? Oct 9, 2021 10:07

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

lol

https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/1446498466738413582?s=20

# ? Oct 9, 2021 10:39

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

https://twitter.com/bglendenning/status/1446618302688731138

# ? Oct 9, 2021 11:10

hadji murad: Apr 18, 2006

One head that won�t roll is manager of the month, Mikel Arteta.

# ? Oct 9, 2021 12:19

deletebeepbeepbeep: Nov 12, 2008

hadji murad posted:

One head that won’t roll is manager of the month, Mikel Arteta.

Deserved for masterminding a draw against title contenders Brighton & Hove Albion.

# ? Oct 9, 2021 13:17

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Jippa posted:

https://twitter.com/bglendenning/status/1446618302688731138

This takeover has really made some people mad who will declare that they are, in fact, not mad at all

# ? Oct 9, 2021 13:27

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

I'm not mad, but I will be mad when Newcastle beat Leeds with their newly assembled Mr burns softball team

# ? Oct 9, 2021 13:29

tetsuo: May 12, 2001; I am a shaman, magician

please post that tweet at me the next time I wonder out loud why people think our fans are idiots

# ? Oct 9, 2021 14:28

FullLeatherJacket: Dec 30, 2004; Chiunque pu� essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

Literally Lewis Hamilton posted:

This takeover has really made some people mad who will declare that they are, in fact, not mad at all

I'm pretty sure that Barry Glendenning will tell you that he's mad, and he'll tell you every day

# ? Oct 9, 2021 14:33

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

the sex ghost posted:

I'm not mad, but I will be mad when Newcastle beat Leeds with their newly assembled Mr burns softball team

Especially when it features bamford and Phillips

# ? Oct 9, 2021 14:59

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

I hope the Saudis sign Onana on a free so Inter don�t get him.

# ? Oct 9, 2021 17:07

the popes toes: Oct 10, 2004

Other teams furious, just furious over cans of oil. "That's a lot of cans" says furious spokesperson.

# ? Oct 9, 2021 17:17

EC10: Jan 17, 2005; We like Nin-po-po
We like Nin-po-po
We like Nin-po-po
We like NIN---PO!

Jippa posted:

https://twitter.com/bglendenning/status/1446618302688731138

https://twitter.com/AFCAMDEN/status/1446431038453030912?s=20

# ? Oct 9, 2021 17:52

kcer: May 28, 2004; Today is good weather
for an airstrike.

lots of xenophobia itt rn

# ? Oct 9, 2021 18:07

OoohU: Oct 26, 2013; Bitches ain't shit but genejacks & synths

i almost forgot that mourinho has quietly had a love affair with newcastle for awhile now given his adoration of sir bobby robson and it's basically his only way back into the PL so i wonder if they'll buy him out this season from roma or wait a few yrs for the project to advance and then snag him

# ? Oct 9, 2021 20:18

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

If it were to happen now would be the best time. Depends if he'd want to leave Roma and if they want him though. Would give him a lot of love from supporters while he made things stable before he blows it up in classic mourinho style

# ? Oct 9, 2021 20:26

tbp: Mar 1, 2008; DU WIRST NIEMALS ALLEINE MARSCHIEREN

mourinho being ripped from roma would be very funny, so i'd like that to happen. it'd be even more excellent if newcastle still went down

# ? Oct 9, 2021 21:08

FullLeatherJacket: Dec 30, 2004; Chiunque pu� essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

the reddit rumour was neil lennon, which would be exponentially funnier and I would make all of the meme faces

# ? Oct 9, 2021 22:40

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

I guess maybe Newcastle could offer him more money than he'd be able to refuse, but still I'd be surprised to see Mourinho leave Roma midseason. He seems to be having fun being back in Italy.

# ? Oct 9, 2021 22:40

the popes toes: Oct 10, 2004

Everybody is telling me Newcastle is good and cool again but I can't tell from this thread.

# ? Oct 11, 2021 20:33

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

the popes toes posted:

Everybody is telling me Newcastle is good and cool again but I can't tell from this thread.

same

# ? Oct 11, 2021 21:02

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

I think Mourinho will come, just look at the phrase "classic mourinho style"

Classic mourinho style

# ? Oct 11, 2021 21:07

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

the popes toes posted:

Everybody is telling me Newcastle is good and cool again but I can't tell from this thread.

It's good if you like big money signings and 'sports campuses', but bad if you like alive journalists

# ? Oct 11, 2021 21:11

EC10: Jan 17, 2005; We like Nin-po-po
We like Nin-po-po
We like Nin-po-po
We like NIN---PO!

Tokyo Sexwale posted:

I think Mourinho will come, just look at the phrase "classic mourinho style"

Classic mourinho style

my god, this checks out

# ? Oct 12, 2021 01:02

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

Brucey's edging closer to the door and a £7m payout. The absolute dream

Some interesting replacements mentioned. Could see Favre or Gerrard, less so Brendan. Don't think Potter's going to want to leave Brighton in the middle of their march to Europe. Would lol forever if they got Martinez

Currently trying to decide whether I'd take 7 million quid to retire from management on 999 games and I think that I Would

# ? Oct 12, 2021 09:38

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

If Gerrard backs himself to win the league this season, then the winner of the SPFL is almost guaranteed Champions League group stage football next season. I think he stays, has that and then moves on with experience.

# ? Oct 12, 2021 10:15

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 04:47

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Total Meatlove posted:

If Gerrard backs himself to win the league this season, then the winner of the SPFL is almost guaranteed Champions League group stage football next season. I think he stays, has that and then moves on with experience.

Has Scotlands coefficient changed or something? Or do you think they will get through qualifying

# ? Oct 12, 2021 10:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Premier League Spooktober - The Cruyff Turn of the Screw

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